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Ten Ways to Deal with Bag Lady Syndrome

A comment from reader KML on my recent “bag lady syndrome” piece moved me to think more about this subject. I was going to enter a response as a comment to that post, but by the time I finished typing realized the result was itself a post. And so, more on women’s fear of a destitute old age:

Says KML: Thank goodness! I thought I was the only one who has this “syndrome” I seriously worry about being out on the streets simply bc I am single and have no one to fall back on.  I have a comfortable house, good job and a few dollars in the bank, but I still have this irrational fear.  Thanks for your post, I feel better just knowing that I’m the only one who wories about this. . . .

@ KML: It’s unclear whether a real psychological condition fitting the description of “bag lady syndrome” exists. It’s a pop-psych/pop-soc term. When you try to track down a little science on the subject, the best you come up with is that some psychologists think it’s a type of anxiety disorder.

Well, to my mind it’s perfectly rational to be concerned about whether your resources—savings, Social Security, kids who can help support you, whatever—will cover you until the end of your life, especially in a time when many people now in their 50s and 60s can expect to live into their 90s…and maybe beyond. It becomes a “disorder” when worrying about your financial security begins to inflict damage on your quality of life. Fear of destitution seems to have been observed among Americans as early as 1985, when psychologists Aaron Beck, Gary Emery, and Ruth Greenberg noted that one man anxious about the future was much helped simply by setting up arrangements to care for his family: talking with financial advisers, writing a will, taking out insurance policies.

A father’s concern about the well-being of his wife and children should he die, of course, is different from a single woman’s concern about her own future. To take advantage of a life insurance policy, you have to die…and that seems counterproductive.

However, whether you’re a man or a woman wondering about the future, I do think you can take a number of steps that help to alleviate that nagging worry:

Plan your retirement income with the help of a financial counselor.
Budget intelligently.
Try to get yourself into a paid-off dwelling, if at all possible.
If that’s not possible, seek comfortable, safe lodging at a reasonable rental.
Try to get a reliable, paid-off vehicle that will last for a long time.
As long as you’re physically able, arrange an ancillary income stream with a part-time job or by monetizing a hobby.
If you can afford it, buy long-term care insurance.
If you have a partner or a family member who will require care after you’re gone, buy life insurance.
Schedule time once a month to reconcile bank accounts and pay bills; avoid thinking about finances at other times.
Get out of the house frequently, so you don’t sit around stewing.

Most of us can do many or all of these things. And really, maybe the best thing we all can do for ourselves is to recognize when we’re worrying to much and decline to continue with it. As Scarlett O’Hara reminded us, “Tomorrow is another day.”

3 thoughts on “Ten Ways to Deal with Bag Lady Syndrome”

  1. I didn’t get a chance to comment on your original post, but it was really a great analysis of why women tend to feel this way.

    I’m in a place in life where I have some decent reserves in place, and a lot of people to fall back on if something were to happen. But even still, if I think about it too much, or if I watch the movie The Pursuit of Happyness (which I only did once and will never again), the fear becomes pretty real.

    These are all great pieces of advice for dealing with it.

  2. I’m not sure why it took psychologists until 1985 to notice financial anxiety. I, and just about every other single woman I knew in the mid 70’s was suffering from it. It was hard not to with double digit inflation and daily articles about elderly widows living in cold apartments eating cat food because that’s all they could afford on their tiny fixed incomes. I don’t suppose I ever really overcame my bag lady syndrome, but I’m grateful that those stories not only depressed me, but scared me as well. I started saving for retirement in my early 30’s and that’s probably why I’m not now living out of a shopping cart – not yet, anyway.

  3. I definitely have this! I think we are simply products of our upbringing. My mother was trapped in an abusive marriage because she had no education or means to support herself (or at least that’s what she was made to believe). In an effort to ensure that this will never happen to me, I work constantly and always in fear. Fear of what? Your guess is as good as mine. Thanks for the tips! I think they will help me on the path to finding a happy medium.

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