3 Cast of Characters
Who are all these people, anyway? Here’s a list of the dramatis personae:
Anna H. Banana
An aged German shepherd, deceased mid-2008
My secretary, mercifully now former
Partner to La Maya; a psychiatric professional
The tattooed fright who lives next door to Pretty Daughter (see below); given to allowing his unmuffled vehicles to idle in the driveway for ten to twenty minutes before blasting off at high volume
A hard-looking character who waits tables at the restaurant of the same name. Lives with Biker Boob.
Carlos the Knife
One of my most interesting neighbors: in his dotage, he occasionally takes after his 88-year-old wife (Inez) and his adult daughters with the kitchen cutlery.
A Corgi, late a resident of the dog pound
The Copyeditor’s Desk
Funny about Money’s other incarnation
The affable neighbor across the street, proprietor of Dave’s Used Car Lot, Marina, and Weed Arboretum; now also former
My former husband of twenty years, a corporate lawyer
My immediate boss
An extraordinary and beautiful old woman who lives across the street from me. Now and again she shows up at my front door seeking shelter from her addled husband, Carlos the Knife, who amuses himself by chasing family members around, kitchen cutlery in hand.
A colleague at the Great Desert University who happens to live around the corner from me
My son, a thirtyish refugee from San Francisco’s dot-com bust, now stuck in the lowlands of the Sonoran Desert
A crazed neighbor and former rental property emperor; a.k.a. The Perp, who threw about three gallons of used motor oil over the back wall into my swimming pool
Our Beloved Employer, a sobriquet for The Great Desert University
One of Mr. B***’s daughters, living two doors down from me, on disability because of her mental illness. She is married to the schizophrenic Son-in-Law, who also lives on disability and whose antics sometimes bring squad cars full of cops and sometimes bring vans full of social service workers. Depends on the phase of the moon, I guess.
Mr. B***’s professed favorite daughter, who lives catty-corner across the street from me with her two kids, both just bursting into their teens
A talented, bright, incredibly well organized, and hard-working young woman who serves as my associate editor at the Great Desert University. AKA Tina (below)
Mr. B*** (see above)
President of the Great Desert University, admired in some quarters and abominated in others
Ruby the Corgi Puppy
Self-explanatory, no? A cute little pesk acquired during Cassie the Corgi’s seventh year on this planet
Satan and Proserpine
Former owners of my present abode. Inveterate do-it-yourselfers, these worthies left the house with cosmetically attractive improvements hiding a maze of not-to-code lash-ups, lied blithely to cover up the results of their DIY efforts, and ripped off the waterfall showerhead before they left. It took two licensed electricians six hours of steady work to make the wiring in the house safe. That was just the beginning…
Semi-Demi-Exboyfriend, now Sun City’s most athletic citizen
Other Daughter’s husband, a paranoid schizophrenic she brought home after a lengthy absence; occasionally goes off his meds and creates some neighborhood drama
My associate editor and business partner in a side venture