It is a CELESTIAL miracle! After dragging myself out of the sack, sick as the proverbial dawg, I called the County Courthouse and learned that my “group” of jurors was not selected today! And, said the talking robot, that means I’m excused from jury duty for the next 18 months.
Thank. You. GOD!
Then, it got better. Yes: believe it or not, better.
WonderAccountant finished my involved tax returns yesterday. So those were sitting on the table needing to be shipped off very soon. And they have to be sent return-receipt-requested — drop those things in the mail with just a stamp on them at your peril.
I was worried that if they stuck me on a jury, I wouldn’t get free to go stand in line at the post office for 45 minutes until after the March 16 deadline. But yesterday I just felt too damn sick to go up there and do battle with the unwashed masses and the hapless, outrageously overworked P.O. clerks. Mailing something in person from our P.O. is an exercise in masochism.
Anyway, perked up by the news that I wasn’t going to have to drag to downtown Phoenix and sit around a waiting room for six or eight hours — and already showered, combed, painted, and dressed — I decided to take the tax returns over. Also volunteered to buy a roll of stamps for WonderAccountant — why should more than one of us stand in line till the chickens come home?
So: drive into the parking lot…and…there are TWO CARS in there!
Holy mackerel! That’s unheard of.
Went inside and there were only two people ahead of me, both of them already up at the counter being waited on by a crew of…two postal clerks. As usual.
I could not believe it. Got up to the counter in a matter of seconds.
A-n-n-n-d…another mirabilis: The other guy at the counter was one of those ninnies who thinks he has to select a SPECIAL STAMP to grace his recipient. Yes. An EXTRA SPECIAL STAMP.
Have you ever gotten in line behind one of those? People are stacked up in line out the freaking DOOR and the ninnie is going, ohhh well that one’s nice but maybe it’s not perfect…do you have one with a bunny rabbit wearing a pink ribbon? On and interminably on.
For a change, I did not get behind this one.
Got out of the P.O. before he decided which work of art should go on his letter. By the time I got back out to the parking lot, there were ELEVEN cars parked and a flow of new ones y-cumin’ in. And naturally, one of the prospective patrons decides to drive in the wrong way. She blocks the traffic as she tries to back and fill and figure out where she wants to go.
I swear to God: they always get in front of me! Every time. Well…except for the merciful remission at the stamp counter.
But despite the bellyaching, the worst of the symptoms subsided after I’d been up about an hour and stood in a hot steamy shower about 15 minutes. Felt incredibly awful upon rolling out at 6 a.m.: agonizing cough, throat so congested I couldn’t even croak out a “no!” to the dogs, headache, and a fever. But there was nothing for it: I had to go downtown (so I thought) and sit around praying for an escape.
I now feel pretty awful, but at least I can utter a few intelligible words. Haven’t taken my temp again but think it may have dropped closer to normal.
This epizootic is probably bronchitis: I’m wheezing, and I don’t have asthma. Last time I was visited by an episode of wheezing, the doc said it was bronchitis, and he walloped me with a stiff round of prednisone.
Prednisone rips up my gut. The result of that episode was the first really serious flare-up of GERD. It took over six months to get rid of it. No…I take that back: I only got rid of it pretty much once and for all about three months ago. So it took two years to get rid of the side effects of the drug I was given for the last occurrence of severe chest congestion.
As you can imagine, I’m not in any hurry to race back to the doctor. I do not want to go through that again. And my Christian Science roots tell me this bug likely will go away on its own.
What doesn’t kill you goes away. Right? 😉
Image: DepositPhoto, © Kuzmafoto