Funny about Money

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. ―Edmund Burke

Getting Rid of Siri

Lordie, but I hate the new MacBook’s frikkin’ “touchbar.”

It comes with an icon to turn on annoying “Siri,” a talkbot that in addition to responding to voice commands and various such bullshit also reports everything you say back to Apple. I want it turned off and left off. That’s OFF. As in off, off, OFF, goddammit!

The problem is, the Siri icon defaults to appear on the far right-hand side of the annoying and cumbersome touch bar…right above the “Delete” key. This becomes a problem because the new MacBook keyboard is sized just slightly differently from the old MacBook’s. The keys are wider. So if you’re a fast typist and you’re used to typing on the old Mac’s keyboard, your fingers keep hitting two keys at once. If I try to type an “h” at speed, for example, I’m going to hit hg or hj or hy. Typing the word “I” with quote marks gets you :”I” — and the “word” and “I” just now came out worfd and “IU:  This means you are CONSTANTLY whacking angrily at the “Delete” key — and every third time you hit “Delete” you accidentally tap the effing Siri button and call up a message nagging you to turn Siri back on.

As it develops, there’s a way to remove the Siri icon from the damned touchbar. The instructions are a little arcane — by “drag it to the trash” the author means  a trash icon that magically appears on the annoying touchbar when you get into System Preferences > Keyboard > Customize toolbar.

You end up with the “mute sound” icon positioned over the all-important Delete key. But since sound-OFF is the default mode for cruising the internet, by way of defanging the autoplay videos and aggravating background jingles, that’s much less of a problem than the constant Siri pestering.

This keyboard business is really a PITA. In fact, it’s enough of a problem to impinge seriously on your productivity. I find myself having to backspace, delete, and retype with every sentence — had to do so four times (!!!) to type the first 12 words of this sentence. Even after the endless backing and fixing, you still end up with copy sprinkled with typos. Yet another time-consuming nuisance…

The MacBook has a lot of things going for it — it’s an amazing piece of machinery. But “user-friendliness” ain’t one of them. I’m still thinking I should go down to Costco and pick up an inexpensive PC so as to begin re-learning to navigate the Windows environment.

Since it’s beginning to look like I’m going to have to buy a smartphone whether I want one or not, and since I surely can’t afford an iPhone, I’m going to have to get back into Windows anyway.

Please, Apple: if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!

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Author: funny

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  1. It’s not so much that you can’t afford the first iPhone(outrageous though the price is), it’s that Apple makes it obsolete after so many cycles of new phones and software upgrades. So you are forced to upgrade to a new phone. You’re not going to want to switch away from an iPhone. Especially after investing your time learning how to use the thing.

    • Apple has begun doing that with its regular computers, too. Hence: the Macbook Pro with the amazingly annoying, unwanted, and widely hated touchbar and the clumsty keys with the nonstandard width.