Gluten-free, Meat-free, INCREDIBLY Delicious!

Finally beginning to unwind, after two or three stress-inducing weeks, aggravated by the fact that this week the ditzy annoying chores just don’t seem to want to  let go of me!

Monday, I thought Aaaahhhh! A whole day to myself in which to do MY thing!

Well. No. Meet with client half the day.

Tuesday, I thought Aaaaahhh! A whole day to myself in which to do MY thing!

Not quite. Add up billable hours, having been unforgivably lâche about keeping track of time and charges. Documenting $1500 worth of my time consumes five hours of unpaid time. Nice.

Quarrel with annoyoing Semi-Demi-Ex-Boyfriend and in doing so announce there’s no way I’m spending Thursday evening with him and current New Girlfriend, so there and leave me alone.

Observe that blood pressure is hovering in the lower stratosphere.

Wednesday, I thought Aaaaahhh! A whole day to myself in which to do MY thing!

Uh huh. Run from pillar to post. Deal with Yard Dude, who announces he’s showing up right this minute with a ton and a half of quarter-minus gravel and wishes to spread it. Supervise this. Race to choir, not having cooked the dog meat I carelessly left out on the counter. Cook dog meat upon returning around 9:15 p.m., while working on new version of maps to send to graphic artist for novel.

(YES!! NOVEL!)

Learn that Sunday is pick-a-puppy day in Wittman. Explain to breeder that Sunday is not good: choir all morning, and then a huge full-choir Evensong chivaree requiring elaborate rehearsal to which we are asked to bring enough potluck to feed 23 guest choir members. I will not have time to make the two-hour round-trip between here and Wittman between the end of Sunday morning service and the 4:00 p.m. choir call. Too bad, says she: you want dibs on the pup, you show up Monday. Otherwise you can drag in on the 15th. God damn.

Overcook meat while doing English-major graphic artistry. Write long explanation of what I thought I was trying to do and how I screwed it up, addressed to a guy who thinks in three dimensions, not in the long straight railroad-track lines of the highly verbal. Pray to god he has some idea what my excuse is. Fall into the sack at 11 p.m.

Thursday, roll out of the sack at 5:30 a.m.. Absolutely positively do NOT think Aaaaahhh! A whole day to myself in which to do MY thing!

Don’t. Be. Ridiculous.

Fly to Scottsdale with business associate, there to chair networking group meeting. We stop by Sprouts on the way home, my having inspired her with the story of … yes, indeed: the most INCREDIBLY DELICIOUS, MEAT-FREE, GLUTEN-FREE all-in-one hot dish that I invented last week and that, as we carpooled eastward, I realized I could take to the potluck on Sunday — in a slow cooker.

So it’s like this: Eggplant, lots of onion, and incredible packaged tomatoes.

First off, if you can, get your hands on some boxed tomatoes by an outfit called Pomí. The Sprouts here has taken to carrying these products. They’re expensive, they’re worth every penny. If you can find them, just buy the best canned tomatoes you can find, preferably low-salt (good luck with that! 😉 ). Then the basic stuff you’ll need is a nice fresh eggplant or two, a good onion, a clove or two of garlic, a sprinkle of feta cheese, and maybe some carrots or celery. Or both. Other stuff is optional: flavorings, extra veggies like spinach or kale, and whatEVER.

You need:

• Eggplant
• Onion
• Garlic
• Powdered cumin
• Dried herbs (I used herbes de Provence, but fines herbes or just about any other flavor you like will be fine)
• Carrots
• Celery, if desired
• Anise, if desired
• And the like, if desired
• Mushrooms, if desired
• Salt & pepper
• Feta cheese
• Olive oil

Slice the eggplant length-wise into pieces about 1/2 to 1 inch thick. Sprinkle each side of the slices with salt. Take a rack out of the oven and set it across the kitchen sink. Place the salted eggplant slices on the rack and let sit for 1/2 hour to an hour or so, depending on your mood and schedule.

Roughly chop an onion and chop a couple cloves of garlic. Pour a little olive oil in a wide frying pan and gently cook the onion over low-medium heat until it’s soft and beginning to caramelize. As the onion is cooking, also add cut-up carrot, celery, or other aromatic vegetables. Flavor to taste with cumin and herbs. Add the garlic toward the end of this process.

Then rinse the salt off the eggplant slices; dry well with paper towels or a clean kitchen towel.

Preheat the oven to about 350 degrees.

Remove the onion and veggies from the pan. Add a little more olive oil. Again over l0w-medium heat, gently brown the eggplant slices, two or three at the time, until they’re nice and brown on both sides. Remove the eggplants from the pan.

Place a layer of about half the sauteed aromatic vegetables in the bottom of the pan. Lay the eggplant slices over this. Pour about half the tomatoes over them. Top with the rest of the aromatics and the remainder of the canned tomatoes. Sprinkle the top with feta cheese. Bake in a medium-hot oven (about 350 to 375 degrees) for about 20 to 20 minutes, until heated through.

This really is delicious. If you have a no-dairy eater, you can serve the feta on the side instead of baking it into the dish. Should satisfy the most picky eaters at your table!