With inflation, make that a three-dollar cookstove. Wow!
That was my father’s saying. Think it derives from “Hotter than a two-dollar pistol,” though the “sayin'” waayyy predates George Jones. 😀
’Tis about 98 here now — around 7 p.m. But I’d guess the thermometer went north of 105 sometime today.
The Midwesterner immigrants have a hard time with this. They just don’t get it. That’s why, I expect, so many of them migrate back to Michigan along about the end of March. Some of them, though, foolishly take up residence here.
One of them, the poor dolt, tossed a hair spray can into a black plastic garbage bin, a bin that spent its days a-sittin’ in the full sun. Bet you can picture the result, can’tcha?
Yes. The can exploded, as spray cans left in an oven are wont to do. It blasted a hole in the trash bin’s lid and launched itself toward orbit.
😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀
Okay, okay, it’s not funny.
Yes, yes it is.
The pool is holding its own against the Invasion of the Algae King. I’ve been sweeping it down twice a day, which isn’t as annoying as it sounds because it creates an excuse to jump into the drink. And it provides some mild exercise, which — believe me! — is hard to force on oneself in an Arizona summer.
Otherwise, I’ve spent most of the day — after a frustrating junket to Costco and Target around noontime — dealing with the font corruption fiasco brought on by the endlessly annoying Mac OS upgrade. Having finally concluded that the only solution would be to reformat any books in the production process with a font resident in Mac OS 10, I spent most of what passes for my productive time rebuilding the book in progress in Big Caslon 11 pts.
Like the endless pool cleaning, this, too, is easier than it sounds. Fortunately the entire document is formatted in Word “styles.” The beauty of this is that when you reformat any part of one type of copy, you reformat it all. Change one paragraph of body copy from Alegreya 11 pt roman to Big Caslon, and every graf that is not a first paragraph, not hanging indent, not a footnote, not indented block, not a cutline, not a running header or footer and PRESTO CHANGEO all the body copy changes to Big Caslon 11 points.
Big Caslon is so close in size and kerning to Alegreya that the entire book came over without changing the pagination! The author’s note appears, yea verily, on page 432, same as it did in Alegreya. The index: p. 423; opening page of the last chapter, p. 407.
Hallelujah, brothers and sisters!
The heads and subheads were less accommodating. Those required some screwing around. But the serious screwing around was elicited by Big Caslon’s answer to boldface. For reasons incomprehensible, this font’s boldface is weirdly airy: the characters are spread out like somebody dropped the letters on the floor and they scattered across the tile. To fix: one, two, three, four, five, six seven, eight, NINE keystrokes for every goddamn word or passage set in boldface!!!!!!!
And since I used B.F. for all sorts of little sub-sub-subfuckingheads and stylistic cutenesses, that was a LOT of goddamn words and passages. So to my profound undelight, I spent most of the day highlighting and clicking and clicking and clicking and clicking and… Tomorrow I’ll have to go over the entire damn thing and proof it carefully.
But I did find two typos…a friend of mine, the dean of scholarly editing, once remarked on the fact that every time you read a book, you find something else wrong with it.
At any rate, I have more news but just now am too tired to relate it. So..tomorrow.
Watch this space!
Header image of the day: Depositphotos, © tomwang.jpg