Funny about Money

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. ―Edmund Burke

Hotter than a two-dollar cookstove…

| 6 Comments | May contain sponsored links.

With inflation, make that a three-dollar cookstove. Wow!

That was my father’s saying. Think it derives from “Hotter than a two-dollar pistol,” though the “sayin'” waayyy predates George Jones. 😀

’Tis about 98 here now — around 7 p.m. But I’d guess the thermometer went north of 105 sometime today.

 The Midwesterner immigrants have a hard time with this. They just don’t get it. That’s why, I expect, so many of them migrate back to Michigan along about the end of March. Some of them, though, foolishly take up residence here.

One of them, the poor dolt, tossed a hair spray can into a black plastic garbage bin, a bin that spent its days a-sittin’ in the full sun. Bet you can picture the result, can’tcha?

Yes. The can exploded, as spray cans left in an oven are wont to do. It blasted a hole in the trash bin’s lid and launched itself toward orbit.

😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

Okay, okay, it’s not funny.


Yes, yes it is.

The pool is holding its own against the Invasion of the Algae King. I’ve been sweeping it down twice a day, which isn’t as annoying as it sounds because it creates an excuse to jump into the drink. And it provides some mild exercise, which — believe me! — is hard to force on oneself in an Arizona summer.

Otherwise, I’ve spent most of the day — after a frustrating junket to Costco and Target around noontime — dealing with the font corruption fiasco brought on by the endlessly annoying Mac OS upgrade. Having finally concluded that the only solution would be to reformat any books in the production process with a font resident in Mac OS 10, I spent most of what passes for my productive time rebuilding the book in progress in Big Caslon 11 pts.

Like the endless pool cleaning, this, too, is easier than it sounds. Fortunately the entire document is formatted in Word “styles.” The beauty of this is that when you reformat any part of one type of copy, you reformat it all. Change one paragraph of body copy from Alegreya 11 pt roman to Big Caslon, and every graf that is not a first paragraph, not hanging indent, not a footnote, not indented block, not a cutline, not a running header or footer and PRESTO CHANGEO all the body copy changes to Big Caslon 11 points.

Big Caslon is so close in size and kerning to Alegreya that the entire book came over without changing the pagination! The author’s note appears, yea verily, on page 432, same as it did in Alegreya. The index: p. 423; opening page of the last chapter, p. 407.

Hallelujah, brothers and sisters!

The heads and subheads were less accommodating. Those required some screwing around. But the serious screwing around was elicited by Big Caslon’s answer to boldface. For reasons incomprehensible, this font’s boldface is weirdly airy: the characters are spread out like somebody dropped the letters on the floor and they scattered across the tile. To fix: one, two, three, four, five, six seven, eight, NINE keystrokes for every goddamn word or passage set in boldface!!!!!!!

And since I used B.F. for all sorts of little sub-sub-subfuckingheads and stylistic cutenesses, that was a LOT of goddamn words and passages. So to my profound undelight, I spent most of the day highlighting and clicking and clicking and clicking and clicking and… Tomorrow I’ll have to go over the entire damn thing and proof it carefully.

But I did find two typos…a friend of mine, the dean of scholarly editing, once remarked on the fact that every time you read a book, you find something else wrong with it.

Oh well.

At any rate, I have more news but just now am too tired to relate it. So..tomorrow.

Watch this space!

Header image of the day: Depositphotos, © tomwang.jpg

Be Sociable, Share!

Author: funny

This post may be a paid guest contribution.


  1. Even here too in MN. Way hot and humid. I try not to complain because in the winter I would love this!

  2. I’m wondering if one of the reasons I was so physically uncomfortable when I visited AZ back in Feb. was because I wasn’t drinking enough water? Yeah, it was cold in Feb. but it was still drier that what I’m used to. I can’t even imagine being there now!
    Thanks for the cute George Jones song, hadn’t heard it before. Yeah, not all southerners are C&W fans. ;o)

    • Ha ha! Isn’t that the silliest song? One of the things you have to say about C&W, whatever its drawbacks, is that at least you can hear and understand the lyrics. 😀

      You’d probably feel thirsty if you were getting slightly dehydrated. One of the weird experiences about going someplace like, say, Atlanta or even San Francisco after you’ve lived in Arizona for some years is that you don’t feel thirsty. There have been times when traveling I realized I hadn’t had a drink of water all day and thought…uh oh!!!! 😀

      That said, if you live here it’s a good idea to add a little water to your dog’s or your cat’s food, lest they not drink enough and develop kidney problems.

  3. Have you tried to reinstall the corrupted font to see if that would solve the problem rather than having to reformat the books?

    • Yes. Actually, the Friedman group kindly sent a new set of the font files. Deleted the existing files. Rebooted. Uploaded the replacement files. Installed the replacement files. Rebooted. Doesn’t work.

      Learned that you can’t just delete the files; you have to “empty Trash,” too. Jumped through the above hoops again, emptying trash along the way. Doesn’t work But at least the trash is emptied! 🙂

      When you think about it, though: given that Apple provides a psychedelic choice of fonts, WHY is it necessary to import a font that to put together a DUY book? Any of half a dozen of the installed fonts would look fine in most books. And changing out Alegra is ridiculously easy: just go through the “Styles,” click “modify” on each, and change the font. In fact, I could use this template to custom-design any number of “looks.”

      {cackle!} Now that I’m getting into drafting in ink, maybe the next book should be set in a script font…

Leave a Reply

Required fields are marked *.