Funny about Money

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. ―Edmund Burke

If I won a million dollars . . .

All right. I confess: I succumbed to the impulse to buy a lottery ticket. A raffle ticket, actually, but the IRS regards it as a kind of lottery. For a hundred bucks, the Health & Wealth raffle gives you a 1 in 18 chance of winning something, most likely a $100 bauble. You get about a 1 in a zillion chance of winning a million bucks. The C-note you toss to the winds lands in the coffers of Barrows Neurological Institute, a world-class hospital specializing in brain and nerve injuries. So it’s far from a total waste.

Go ahead. Click on that link. I dare you to not buy a ticket. Just look at that Mercedes roadster, that stack of cash…hot dang! There are 106 cash prizes ranging from $500 to $1 million. Then there are the cars, which could be resold for hefty amounts. Some are so extravagant that even selling at a deep discount would leave you a nice contribution to the retirement fund: two Mercedes vehicles in one prize, a combined value of $154,000, a Jaguar, a Lexus hybrid. They’re giving away 24 cars plus a motorcycle and several other small contraptions.

There are also a couple of large TV sets that are probably worth a couple thousand. And all those trips. Questionable whether you could sell a Mediterranean cruise, but the contest rules allow you to donate your gift back to Barrows. Obviously, a $30,000 tax deduction would do good things for your finances. Indeed. That’s almost two years’ worth of taxes for me. All very nice. But what I’m going for is that $1 million bag of money. I want the million dollars.

So…let’s indulge our fantasies. What would you do if you won a million bucks? It would translate to about $500,000 net, after taxes were extracted.

Pour moi, five hundred grand would guarantee that I could retire and have enough to support a middle-class lifestyle through the end of my life-no matter how long I do live.

  • I could pay off the Renovation Loan instantly.
  • I’d probably keep my job for another two years, until I can collect Medicare, since I likely can’t get health insurance as an individual. But…that much cash in hand would allow me to take COBRA, which would carry me through 18 months. So I could quit about in December and go on COBRA until I can switch to Medicare.
  • I could sell my house and move to a better neighborhood.
  • I could move to Prescott.
  • I could move to Santa Fe!
  • I could pay off the mortgage on the Investment House and then sell it to my son, collecting principal and interest payments to support myself and then put in my will that the loan is forgiven when I die. This would guarantee that all he puts into it would come back to him as principal, should he decide to move…and then some, if he stays there until die.
  • I could send my son to graduate school.
  • I could give away one of those Mercedes Benzes as a gift on my blog.

Jeeminy. Light a candle to the Goddess!
Are you prepared for the day you win a million dollars? What’s your plan?

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Author: funny

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One Comment

  1. Hi,

    Thanks for the nice post. However, it seems that to buy this raffle ticket you should be at Arizona when you buy the ticket… I can feel frustration that Internal revenue service considers it as lottery and uncle Sam can grab a party of your wining. Why not trying online lotto games. I was failing in all games before purchasing the
    The Secret To Winning Lotto
    Prizes (Almost) Every Week
    system. Now I am periodically wining lotto games and I don’t have to care about uncle Sam too.