Funny about Money

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. ―Edmund Burke

If You Want Something Done Right…

F’r example, there’s no way in He!! I’m getting on the roof and prizing strips of stuff off a wood beam-and-slat shade structure.

Gerardo, a case of still water running deep, is very smart, indeed. His two underlings: All muscle, including what’s between the ears

They came back today to finish taking the plastic stuff off the back patio overhang so Painter Guy can refinish the cedar. Friday, they’d taken the translucent plastic sheets off but left the plastic strips used to secure the thing. Sort of: they busted them up and left quite a mess

Meanwhile, I took it into my (once-)pretty little head to simply remove the covering permanently, since from out on Feeder Street NW it does look ever-so-slightly WT. And the woodwork Richard put up there, lo! these many years ago actually shades the place just fine, without benefit of covering.So I ask Gerardo to come back and remove the busted-up plastic strips. He says they’ll show up at 7 a.m. Saturday. This, as he and I both know, means today: Monday. They do show this morning, not very long after 7 a.m. and risk their lives climbing atop the lash-up.

They are brave men. With solid muscle between their ears.

So time passes. They finish the job and leave.

I’ve already done the ayem pool cleaning. Fortunately, though, I’d decided to let the skimmer collect what little floating debris had accrued during the night before putting Harvey the Hayward Pool Cleaner (a wimp if ever there was one) back into the drink.

Painter Guy surfaces. I thrash around with him for awhile; he starts his prep work. While he’s banging around, I finish the latest Chinese math paper and field a request from North China University for another copyediting job. Nice. Send off the finished research study to the client and then decide I’d better get Harvey back to work.

As I’m about to drop him into the water, what should float by but a piece of busted plastic roofing strip.


How do those guys do this? And can you imagine what a chunk of hard plastic would do to Harvey, who will choke on half a pecan?

So I figure I’d better police the premises before proceeding.

And after considerable study, I find sitting on a pool step: a bolt.

Jeez. The pool is a LONG way from the patio cover! How the heck do they manage that? And what happened to the washer that goes with the bolt?

Never did find the washer, but Harvey is still running around the pool, so I assume the thing didn’t go into the water.

Painter Guy, who does not look more than six months younger than me, spends the morning heaving around: moving junk away from the walls, scraping the cracked paint off the foundations, and actually washing down (!!) the walls and trim. Bila the Bosnian Painter would never in a million years have washed the exterior. Certainly not. Certainly not in 100-degree heat.

In due time, Painter Guy goes off to do battle with Home Depot by way of procuring the desired colors in Behr, not Dunn-Edwards, paint.

Dunn-Edwards out. Behr in. Whoever runs D-E has mightily dropped the corporate ball. Whereas once it was the premier brand of paint — at least in these parts — it has fallen sadly from its former glory.

Even two coats of the stuff did not adequately cover the hall/dining-room walls — the old orange paint still shows through.. I’m paying painter dude to lay on another coat — of Behr — as long as he’s here. And the stuff fades. Dunn-Edwards never used to fade. Now, if you need to touch up a wall a year or so after you painted it, the stuff out of the same can will not match. Neither will a new can of it.

And, apparently, the color itself does not stay stable when left in the can. An hour or so ago, Painter Guy called from Home Depot, saying he’d had five gallons of the white trim paint made up, and it came out looking yellow. I’d given him an old can of the exterior trim, with which to extract a new matching can from the Depot, only in Behr, not Dunn-Edwards. The clerk in the paint department was lurking in the background, and he was also saying he didn’t think it looked right. I suggested I could bring up the can of interior trim, which is the same color, but he said no, he was at the 67th and Bell HD: halfway to Las Vegas.

Finally we left it that we would accept the oddly colored paint and test it. If it’s wrong, I’ll take the interior trim paint up to the HD closer to the Funny Farm: that is a brand-new can, so there should be no deterioration.

If such a thing can even happen. I’ve never had a tightly sealed can of paint change color, just sitting in the garage. But anything’s possible.

I guess.

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Author: funny

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  1. I tend not to store paint in the garage because of the extreme heat and cold. I’m pretty sure it probably says somewhere on the can that there are advised limits when it comes to temperature.

    • Yep, I think that’s probably right. I did, however, look it up in the Font of All Wisdom (i.e., the Internet) and was not able to find a credible claim that paint changes color in the can. In fact, a couple of guys claimed it absolutely would NOT do so. But…that could be one man’s opinion x 10 to the 10th power…

  2. Well gonna weigh in…have painted a bit….First white is the WORST color to match because of the many possible variations. Heck you may think you’re spot on until you begin laying the paint down…it can be maddening. One thing to remember “light colors dry darker and dark colors dry lighter”…As for your project…you may be better served either redoing the whole thing OR finding a good point to re-paint and leave the rest alone …Like doing just the walls that receive direct sunlight and leave the others original. AND just an observation BUT a bit odd for the painter to drive all the way the other side of town to a HD. The mixing stations at HD’s are all approved by Behr and are identical…of course human error can play a big role in successful paint matching. AND lastly Behr paint is a “shadow” of it’s former self….IMHO they have watered it down to cut costs. I use a lot of white semi gloss and it doesn’t cover like it used to. I saw the Behr rep and gave him grief about it. His suggestion was to make sure “to stir it up”…I explained the last batch I bought came off the “shaker” and went right on the house and it was like I was painting with milk….Then I heard the “crickets chirping” and then an awkward pause….

    • LOL! Welp, he lives over there in that part of town, so he probably went into the HD on the way home.

      I think ALL the paints are no longer what we think of as…well…paint. They’ve all been made “safer” and “no-odor” and on and on…and as usual, those environmentally friendly “improvements” are de-provements for the consumer! Ohhh well.

      Couple years ago I did use some Behr on the inside of the garage, and I will say it seemed better than the D-E. That may not be saying much for either brand…sort of like you like Bud & I like Coors: six of one, half-a-dozen of the other.

      Incredibly, when he got here this morning and we slathered a little of the Behr white on the existing white trim, it was a PERFECT match.

      Mgawd, the man is working like a horse out there. It’s SO hot and miserable, and really, I’d put money on it that he’s my age. I would die and blow away if I tried to work as hard as he does.

  3. Glad it worked out! And it sounds like your painter is a “keeper”…