Funny about Money

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. ―Edmund Burke

Oh, for an April Shower!

Around here we don’t get April showers. We get April winds. Howling April winds.

In normal times (which we haven’t seen for some years) we get February rains and April winds. But once again this winter brought almost no rain. So the place is dry as…yeah: dust. If you don’t breathe, you’re fine. But if you do…too bad: allergy season with a vengeance.

The wind has been roaring around for days. For hours last night it was banging stuff up against the house and whacking birds into the westside Arcadia doors. And this morning? The air is still (for the nonce), but what a mess to clean up!

Leaves and palm tree debris all over the yard. Junk from the surviving Devil Pod Tree on the southwest side blown all the way over into the patio on the northeast side…and of course, into the pool.

I’m thinking I’ll plug in the blower, blast the stuff off the patios, and mound it into a couple of haystacks, over which I’ll toss tarps to hold it down until Gerardo gets here to haul it off. Can’t step onto the back porch barefooted without puncturing the soles of my feet, so at least need to get the trash piled up somewhere out of the way.

And it’s blowing the oranges out of the trees. True, they’re pushing over-ripe… I’ve been gorging myself on the delicious things for weeks. But once they’re thrown on the ground, they’ll spoil within a day. So these winds usually mean the end of the orange harvest.

So, so, SO much ditzy, distracting work to do. I really want to finish the current chapter of Ella’s Story, which is painfully slow going. But some of this stuff has been put off too long, and some of it has to be done now…

  • Shovel out the wind debris
  • Clean the mustard algae off the pool walls
  • Shovel the mountain of paper off the dining-room table (damned piles of mail that get left there to attend to…later. Much later.)
  • Do battle with the effing credit bureaus again, trying to get the bastards to reinstall the fraud alert needed thanks to Equifax’s having shared my private information with bad actors around the world
  • Spray the alley weeds behind my house and the feckless neighbor’s house
  • Pick up the dog mounds
  • Haul the trash
  • Run two more loads of laundry
  • Iron clothes
  • Figure out how to put a battery in that damn modem Cox attached the phones to
  • Free the Bear Spray cans from Costco’s consumer-proof wrapping and figure how to use the stuff

The kids who moved into Sally’s house either have a moral objection to Roundup or are too preoccupied with parenthood to be bothered to clean up the weeds. In the spring their front yard looks like a slum property — eventually he’ll get out there and manually pull up the weeds, a tedious chore, indeed. You can’t blame him for putting it off as long as possible. But they never do a damn thing about the alley weeds, which are a serious fire hazard. And it’s against the law to let them grow up as high as your butt…a law most honored in the breach.

But I can’t complain: when the ex- and I were young things, we never touched the alley behind our shack. Partly because we were above all that (weren’t we? after all!) and partly because we didn’t know it was our responsibility to keep the area weed-free.

😀 The young things haven’t been here long enough to watch a neighbor’s house burn to the ground (!) after some of the neighborhood brats set fire to the brush in the alley, out of idle mischief.

So I’ve sprayed once out there — it’s killed off most of the weeds outside my fence and theirs, but a few outliers and newcomers remain to be attacked.

The wind is quiet just now, so I should get out there and do that right this second, before it starts to blow again. Typically it’ll die down fairly late at night and then start again mid-morning. But just now am busy swilling coffee.

The wind blew over the giant garbage bin in the alley. Noticed this yesterday. It’s too heavy for me to haul back upright, and (though I haven’t looked) I’d put money on it that the kid back there hasn’t lifted it, either. So I’ll have to drag the trash down about three city lots to the next set of neighbors’ bin. That doesn’t exactly fill me with inspiration to take out the trash! 😀

My laziness knows no bounds…

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Author: funny

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