Funny about Money

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. ―Edmund Burke

Red-Hot or Nailed Down…

Finally it dawns on me what happened to the two shiny brass hose nozzles that disappeared out of the flowerpot where I store them in the back yard. About the only thing that could have happened: the pool guy must have taken them when he was using the hose to clean out the filter.

Gerardo hasn’t been here for two months…and besides, he’s not given to stealing. Even though I can’t be depended upon to remember where I last set my toothbrush down, I’m pretty sure I didn’t put them “away” in some weird place because there would be no reason to do so. And I’ve searched every weird spot on the property for them.

These  little gadgets are not easy to find around here. So when I spotted a boxful of them on a Home Depot shelf, I grabbed three of them. One was on the hose. The other two are now gone. And since the things are just the ticket for the kind of job he does, I figure when he spotted them, he just picked them up and dropped them in a pocket.

He also broke my hose timer, the jerk.

What IS it with workmen and hose timers? These cheesey little things are really nothing more than a kitchen timer on a valve…how hard IS it to turn a kitchen timer to 15 minutes? Every time one of those guys spots one of the things, he gets confused. And I forgot to turn it on for him…one too easily forgets how stupid other human beings are.

Given the creature we’ve elected as president, it’s hard to grasp how one could forget such a thing: clearly we’re a nation of dolts. But there it is. Busted timer, stolen nozzles.

Oh well. Like my father used to say: if it ain’t red-hot or bolted down, someone will steal it.

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Author: funny

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  1. Hmmmm….. No Bueno…Ya might want to make a call to the pool folks and ask them IF the pool guy “moved” or “borrowed” your nozzles. Gotta tell ya when I go in a tenant’s place I touch nothing and if I happen to move something… I leave a note. The sad thing is if the guy asked you for it….you probably would have given it to him….Sad.

    • Yeah…frankly, I would cheerfully have given them to him as a gift (they’re not what you’d call priceless gems)…he was working like a horse in the heat and deserved more, without a doubt, than they were paying him.

  2. I agree with Jestjack, call his employer and casually ask for your nozzles back if you don’t want to outright accuse him. It’s been my experience that some thieves will take anything they find, including money, wallets, etc. Give his employer a heads-up, at least.

    • Oh, yeah…. Once you find out you can get away with it, why should you stop? Had a friend who got into defrauding insurance companies. It wasn’t like the tens of thousands of bucks they collected from the first caper weren’t enough…they did it again!

      • Oh, wow! What happened to your friend?

      • What happened to the friend? Let’s see…she and the hubby trashed two houses, may have faked a kidnapping in which a late-model car was torched [alternatively, he may have staged the kidnapping drama to terrorize her), and arranged to have another car stolen (left the garage door open overnight with the keys in the car…in reality possibly left the keys in the car at a high-theft mall until it disappeared…whatEVER).

        She wasn’t getting along well with her sociopathic DH, who tried to murder her and her third child, whom she had deliberately conceived against his express wishes. He failed to kill her, but the arsonist sent to burn the house down around the two did succeed in totaling the house, thereby sticking it to the insurance company. Again.

        Their divorce was prolonged and vicious. While she was renting a house, she was trying to clean a second-story window when the balcony flooring gave way under her feet and she fell to the ground, sustaining a brain injury that brought an end to her career as an ER/trauma nurse. We believe this was real: apparently it was an unstaged event.

        She sued the landlord. The landlord’s lawyers had a chat with her ex- and found out about the prior capers. They hauled him into court and elicited testimony that strongly implied she was in the habit of engineering “accidents” and “attacks” to collect insurance money. Very possibly she was, but those in the know believe that was not the case in the last incident.

        Not surprisingly, she lost her shirt. She’s now on the high side of middle-aged without a nickel or a dime to rub together, and unable to work. She’s living on welfare and the generosity of her church and her friends. But she seems to be fairly happy these days.

        You would be, too, if you got free of a sh!thead like the creep she was married to.

  3. O-O *speechless*