Funny about Money

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. ―Edmund Burke

Shoring up the Defenses, and Tales of Perps and Dumb Marks

The other day when I remarked that some clown was (or maybe was not) ringing the doorbell after dark but the motion-sensitive coach light near the gate hadn’t clicked on, TB of Blue-Collar Workman commented that it’s a good idea to install motion-sensitive lights high enough to be out of reach of a six-foot-tall man, since, as we know, one thing these guys like to do is unscrew your porch light before kicking in the front door.

That struck me as a real good idea, so I went by HD and bought a couple of China’s best motion-sensitive searchlights. I hate those things—they about put your eye out. IMHO, the dark is supposed to be dark, and I happen to much prefer it that way. Oh well. We’re not in Kansas anymore…

At any rate, Dave the Electrician and his sidekick came by yesterday and installed them. Dave thought it was a great idea. He put one on the west side, where the motion-sensitive light stopped working years ago, and another on the east side, positioned so that walking by on the sidewalk shouldn’t kick it off, but trying to climb the wall sure will. Its range covers the length of the wall that isn’t obstructed by thorny vines…and also, if any dude cares to try to climb through a bougainvillea, he’ll have plenty of light to show him the way.

The one on the west side is especially great, because it comes on if you walk up the driveway or if you walk across the yard on the west side, or if you’ve come over the back wall it will come on when you approach the area where the west-facing sliding door is. This means that when somebody (or somebody’s cat) is out there, I can see through that damn sliding door and spot the poor wretch.

There are a lot of trees out there, and so o’course it’ll be on all the time a light wind blows. I suppose when it gets windy I could bestir myself to walk into the garage and turn off the switch. That requires more ambition than I usually have, though.

The other day TB, trying to make peace with Lady Karma (one expects), fessed up to his youthful life of crime and offered a long series of excellent tips on how to protect your car from break-ins. Some of these are common sense and some are pretty subtle—it’s a worthwhile read, unless you enjoy engaging with insurance companies and car repair guys.

TB’s post reminded me of a hilarious episode that happened here in the neighborhood. My neighbor across the street at the time (this was when I lived in the old house) worked as a kind of man-for-all-seasons for a spectacularly wealthy Scottsdaleite, and since he was largely on call, he would come and go at odd hours.

One morning he was about to leave for work. He’d climbed into his car, turned on the ignition…and realized that damn! he’d left his coffee in the kitchen. So he jumped out of the car, trotted back in the house, poured his coffee and shut off the Mr. Coffee, and darted back out to get back into…a missing car!

Yes! In the time it took the guy to walk into the house, pour a cup of coffee, and walk out, some dude had walked up, seen he’d left the keys in the car, and driven off in it!

😆 😆 😆

So, there you go: Never. Leave. Your. Keys. in. the. Car. Tip of the day.

Image: Motion Detector Attached to a Garage. CHG. Public domain.

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Author: funny

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  1. Lol, oh man, that sucks. Boy would that ruin your day! But that’s an excellent tip of the day. Crime happens fast, really fast — never “run in” for “just a sec” to do anything! Always lock it up.

    Thanks for the shoutouts here, you’re awesome! 🙂

    • Don’t know which sucked more: that the car mysteriously rolled into some other dimension or that all the neighbors thought it was the funniest thing that ever happened. Poor ole Roy!

      Luckily, it was one of his junkers and not the employer’s fancy private limo, which he would occasionally park in the driveway and polish to a diamond-like shine.

  2. The story *is* kinda funny. Poor ol’ Roy, indeed.
    Glad to hear the hacienda is becoming more fortified against two-legged vermin.

    • Well…we’ll see. If they want to get in, they get in. We have a few really determined folk around here. Remember, Arizona is the meth capital of the world.

      Hey…that explains our legislature, doesn’t it?

  3. The keys in the car is a habit I am trying so hard to break Mr. PoP of. He grew up in the country, and his parents only started locking their doors when a family member started stealing stuff… His instinct is to leave the keys where he will need them next, which is inevitably right next to the ignition. Bothers the daylights out of me, even if the car is in the garage when he does it.

    • Having to pay a locksmith to open the car after I locked the keys inside broke me of that habit! Grrrrrrrrrr….

      Try to steer him toward the habit of always dropping them into a pants pocket. As a man, he has an advantage: most men’s clothes have pockets, unlike women’s clothing. That’s one of the reasons I live in Costco jeans: so as always to be able to get back into my car!

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