It’s three in the afternoon and suddenly, out of the blue the swampy nose is drying up and I’m starting to feel almost like living…after a whole week of the most bizarre cold I’ve met in a long time. It looks like the thing may be about to retreat as quickly as it struck.
It started about mid-morning exactly seven days ago. Until about 6:00 p.m. last Sunday, I’d have sworn it was an allergy. In 72 years of hosting viruses and bacteria, I have never had a respiratory infection that didn’t start with a sore throat, followed by a blocked nose, followed by a racking cough.
This bug started with the cough. By about 8 o’clock Sunday evening it had risen to the level of “racking.” But there was never a sore throat. The nose didn’t start to run with a vengeance for another couple of days, and even then the head was never especially stuffy. I just started coughing. And kept on coughing, for seven long days and nights.
Really, REALLY coughing. Heavily coughing. Interminably coughing.
I’d about decided that if the cough isn’t better by tomorrow, I’ll be forced to call Young Dr. Kildare. Won’t he be thrilled, after all, to welcome a walking nexus of contagion to his tidy, peaceful office? Arrrghhh!
But all of a sudden — just as suddenly as it began — this afternoon the thing seems to be lifting.
If you have recourse to the Hypochondriac’s Treasure Chest and google “cold that starts with cough,” you find…almost nothin’!
One site stokes your neuroses by informing you that a cough commencing out of the blue may be caused by GERD, whereinat stomach acid bubbles up while you’re sleeping and flows down into your lungs.
Gaaaahhhh! Clearly it’s PNEUMONIC PLAGUE combined with SHINGLES and SMALLPOX, with a touch of YELLOW FEVER. I’m doomed and done for.
Well, it doesn’t do any good to worry about it: we’re dead anyway. So it’s good-bye to our friends on the Internet and on to. . .doing the laundry.
Speed Queen. Nothing like a Speed Queen to improve your mood. 😉
What’s your experience with bizarre minor ailments? Have you had this spring’s epizootic?