So I get downtown to meet a friend, along about 9:30 this a.m., only to learn that our date is tomorrow, not today. Oh well.
This is good, in two ways:
First, it frees up a day in which to do a few things of my own (as well as rising to the the Newest Client’s task…later, not right this minute), and since a Costco is on my way home, it invites me to fill the gas tank and then run inside and pick up a few things you can’t get anywhere else.
Of course, I hadn’t brought the shopping list, but I could remember enough to create a little mnemonic. POTC:
Sounds so simple, doesn’t it?
Well, but…no. This is, after all, Costco, the Home of the Impulse Buy.
One of the things I’ve been needing is a new memory chip for my digital camera. Or…possibly a new digital camera. Costco has a chip that a sales dude promises is the real thing, and they’ll even take a gigantic Man’s Xacto Knife and break into the damned consumer-proof package for me. Grab.
Hey. At least I didn’t buy a camera.
I didn’t even buy a new external hard drive for a mere $80, knowing I could get one on Amazon for an even merer $60.
Whilst strolling behind the grocery cart, I recall that I wish I’d had a package of those glorious scalloped potatoes to nourish the ailing body, SO good, the ultimate comfort food. Grab.
Walking toward the scalloped potato counter, I have to pass by the meat cooler. There, calling out “come to me, come to meeeee” like some Broadway fish from South Pacific is a magnificent package of eminently fresh, fantastically luxurious, wild-caught ahi tuna. Oh God! Grab.
Into the produce department. Having a hard time finding the Campari tomatoes, which they’ve hidden away on the far side of the displays. But n-o-o-o problem finding the spectacular candy-sweet seedless red grapes (grab!), the package of six breakfast-eligible golden mangoes (grab!), the double-packet of smoked wild-caught salmon (grab!).
Obtain the olive oil, grab; resist blandishments in that aisle.
Find the pecans; grab. Realize I’m almost out of pine nuts, which of late I’ve taken to spilling all over everything (grab!). And by the way, I ran out of pistachios (grab!).
And…and…wtf is that??? IS it what it appears to be? Oh yes: Glorias: a pair of Gloria Vanderbilt jeans in an astonishing shade of lavender. Holeeee sh!t. Costco hasn’t carried Glorias in colors for lo these many years! GRAB!
By the way, as long as we’re talking vanity and grooming, I need a bottle of Pantene shampoo. Do they have the regular white creamy Pantene? Well. No. They have a pricey-looking lifetime supply of a “Botanical” version of Pantene. It’s clear. That’s kind of cool. Stinks a bit, but Pantene has taken to overperfuming its traditional products, anyway. Pause, ever so briefly… Grab.
By the time I got out the door, I’d racked up a bill of $199 and change, thereby lending some truth to the maxim that you can’t get out of Costco for under $200.
It’s true. So, so true…