Coffee heat rising

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!

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Seven in the frikkin’ morning. Gotta be outta here in less than an hour, on the road through wicked rush-hour traffic, headed for the dentist. Big lump on a gum. Cancer???? The way things have been going, I sure won’t be surprised.

So, soooooo tired! I’ve been up since two a.m.: never did get back to sleep.  All I wanna do is crawl back in bed and be miserable in peace. Instead, I’ve gotta put my life on the line to traipse to the dentist.

Gotta marshal some strength to fight back. I’m totally under siege here, between the busted arm and my son’s concern.

I forget things. This is not surprising, at the age of 78. But M’jito is all worried: he thinks I’m getting senile. From what I can tell, as you round on your 80th year, you forget stuff…and that is normal. It’s easy enough to compensate with a notebook and a spreadsheet.

***

Ohhhh…kayyyy…  Now I’m dressed…after a (non) fashion. The busted arm: still in a sling, still hurts. Almost all my shirts are pullovers — and o’course I can’t get one of those over my head, not in this condition. I have some three shirts that button up the front. And they’re not exactly gorgeous with a Velcro strap slung over my shoulder. In another 10 minutes, it’s off to the dentist to find out (I hope) what the lump on my gum is. It popped up a few days ago. From what I can tell in the Hypochondriac’s Treasure Chest, it’s unlikely to be cancer. Just hope it can be left to go away (or not) on its own. I’ve had enough with the slicing and dicing!

*******

And speaking of senility…

I get all the way over to 16th and Maryland — through cut-throat rush-hour traffic — go to turn in to the garden office complex’s parking lot…and…and…and I can’t find it!!!!!

WTF!?!?!????

It’s my regular dentist’s place…why isn’t it here?

Drove all around over there and STILL couldn’t find it!

Schlepped home through the hideous rush-hour traffic. On the way I stopped at the orthodontist’s…any chance that I mistook, in my senility, the place where I was supposed to go?

Nope.

So I missed an important appointment, put my life on the line to do it by venturing out in Lovely Phoenix’s homicidal rush-hour traffic, got myself all worked up, missed taking Ruby for her beloved doggy-walk..all for NOTHING.

*****

Something is to be said about living in a given city for several decades: You get very skilled at navigating rush-hour traffic.

One comes to know all the most-traveled and least-traveled routes. All the impossible traffic signals to avoid. And the most discreet parking lots to cut through to avoid a traffic jam…without attracting acop’s attention (it’s agin’ the law to do that).

***

10 a.m.

Yep. Just ten o’clock and it’s already  been an awful morning.

I should take the little dog for a walk. Really, despite the personal awfulness, it’s a beautiful morning. The rain has cooled things down. The before-work dog walkers have done their duty and cleared off the sidewalks.

So yeah…this is the time.

On the other hand…will venturing out just make things worse for the Walking Wounded? Maybe I should think twice.

On the other other hand…I’m in no shape to think at all..much less to do it twice.

Busted, Disgusted, and….

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…and at least clean now!

Managed to get in the shower all by myself this afternoon…AND washed my hair. It’s a miracle!

I can’t believe it’s been SIXTEEN DAYS since I did this to myself! Feels like it happened just a day or two ago. 😮

But… Well, but it is beginning to feel noticeably better. Far from functional, but a fair amount less painful.With any luck, in another two or three weeks I can get out of the accursed sling.

{chortle!}  Take another look at this thing:

Is that or is that not the business? I never have gotten around to schlepping to PetSmart and waypoints in search of one for sale locally. Though I can drive one-handed, it doesn’t seem well-advised. So if I’m going to get any such thing, it’ll have to come from Amazon.

Ruby the Corgi is too small to get on the Queen’s bed by herself. I’m too crippled to lift her up, and apparently will be for several more weeks. So the poor miserable beast has been spending the nights on the floor, in her favorite nest under the toilet, or on a big ole’ doggy-cushion next to my bed. And Hevvin only knows how long it’ll be before I can lift her up on the throne again.

The thing looks like it’ll take up an awful lot of space — and won’t Wonder Cleaning-Lady be pleased to find THAT contraption lurking in her way! 😀

ooohhh well…

***

 

 

 

 

…a-a-a-n-d… The lingering aftermath

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Believe it or not, the Wounded Dragon-Lady is actually up moving around!

Believe it or not, the old bat is stumbling around the cave and even over the badlands of the backyard. It’s a spectacularly beautiful morning, and here we are loafing away the balmy morning on the lovely little side porch in the shade of the huge trees on the west side if the Funny Farm.

Come to think of it, though, hold the metaphorical phone….

**** Much later ****

Another not-very metaphorical Day from Hell. Pain followed by frustration followed by pain followed by…so on to infinity. Felt better for a couple hours this morning, but it didn’t last.

Things could be worse, though. One could still be dwelling in Saudi Arabia, on the shore of the Persian Gulf. The Middle East: what a horror show.

My son just showed up. Wandered off to the living room to unwind from a day of work. Me, I’m too sick to get out of bed. or to be anything like decent company.

****

Mijito’ showing up after work is awfully nice. I’m in no shape to entertain him, being sick as a dawg just now. Think the aspirin I’ve been gulping for the shoulder pain is not agreeing.

*****

Sunday

But now another night and half a day have passed. This a.m the pain was much diminished — why, I do not know.

And just now? Crippled again!

Ugh!! Goin’ back to bed…

 

 

WORSER & WORSER

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GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!  Want pain? Lemme tellya PAIN!

Spent the better part of y’day and this morning at the Mayo Clinic’s ER.

I fell face-forward on the tiled floor. Reflexively stuck out my left hand as I was going down. Whacked the Hell out of my hand. Busted the humerus, one of the long bones of the upper arm. Apparently didn’t break anything else (to my surprise). But oh!

Hurt?  Lemme tella HURT! 

And hurt and hurt and hurt and hurt and hurt and hurt… Holy mackerel, it hurts!

The little dog is accustomed to sleeping on the bed. But she’s too small to jump up here by herself: she has to be lifted.

They told me not to lift her onto the bed. (They who have no clue to what a corgi is…) So of course I’ve been lifting her onto the bed.

Just now: Slipped. Lost my footing. Dropped the dog. Wrenched the arm, And HURT!!!!!

Oh Dear GOD did that hurt.

This elicited a sky-splitting shriek of agony. Terrorized the little dog. She now refuses to come out from under the toilet.

That may be just as well. At least she won’t be out here banging on the bed trying to get up.

I don’t think Ruby got hurt. But I sure as hell did.

Ohhhhh well…  The worst of the screaming pain has about subsided

And hallelujah, brothers & sisters, Amazon carries little staircases to help a small dog climb on the bed!

heee! Have you ever seen such a thang?!?

I’m thinking that tomorrow, if I can drive (highly questionable), I’ll run over to the nearest Petsmart and grab one of these for Ruby. Failing that: order it up from Amazon.

Dunno, tho… Amazon shows several models that are cheaper. Oh, well. There’s plenty of time to think about that.

Stop the World!

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…I wanna get off!

Dammit, it’s not even 6:30 in the accursed morning and I wanna get off the world. WHAT. A. DAY!

Already…

Ruby has demanded to get up twice in the wee hours of an already insomniac night. This shouldn’t matter, because I was already awake both times…but wishing I could please please PUHLEEZE, dear Gawd, get back to sleep.

Something is making Ruby’s stomach growl. Hunger? She was fed last night. I think. Did I forget to feed her? Since I can’t even remember my name these days, that’s not outside the realm of possibility.

So she just comes in from this latest excursion and we stumble back to the bedroom, where we hear, coming from the sidewalk outside the east wall… thumpada thumpada thumpada THUMPADA

What the fuck IS that?

It’s not a kid, not at this hour. No car is out there. Bicycles don’t thump. So…what?

Probably a coyote.

And that’s why Ruby can’t be left alone in the backyard to do her thing — certainly not at this hour, and more generally, not at any hour. Coyotes around here will come right over a six-foot wall to grab your cat or your dog.

It’s not the first time I’ve heard that noise. In the past I’ve thought it was some idiot on a bicycle, maybe hauling a kiddie cart, somehow thumping on the sidewalk. Anything’s possible, I suppose…but it doesn’t sound like bicycle wheels. It sounds like something four-legged, running along at a fast clip. Whatever it is, it’s gone by the time I get outside.

Shee-ut. Speaking of random noises in the wee hours, here comes a cop helicopter. Or…maybe a traffic-yakking copter — it’s quarter to seven, approaching High Rush Hour.

Quarter to seven means I’ve been awake half the night. Ruby’s stomach is still growling and squealing. I do KNOW that I fed her last night. So what the heck brought that on?

{moan} Gotta get up, feed the dog, and start stumbling around…

Post-Hallowe’en in Arizona

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WHAT a gorgeous day! It’s cool and clear and quiet and lovely. Already took the dog for a mile-plus walk. We may go out again, whenever I get off my duff. If I do.

Last night was ridiculously fun. Hallowe’en is my favorite holiday! So much fun, ogling the kids’ cute costumes and the grown-ups’ silly costumes, handing out candy and admiring the show.

The Wonder-Accountants, who live across the street, set up camp in their driveway. I brought a bag or three of candy and joined them.

The central part of Lovely Uptown Phoenix has several middle- to upper-middle-class neighborhoods that are surrounded by…uhm, lower-income districts (not to say “blight and poverty”). Residents of these garden spots dress up the kiddies for Hallowe’en and bring them into the fancier areas, there to collect much richer trick-or-treat pickin’s.

This makes for LOADS of fun — pickup-loads, as a matter of fact — because

a) they have LOTS of kids; and
b) those kids are beyond cute and adorable.

<3

So we locals got to spend several hours socializing and watching the Legions of Cuteness marching around the’Hood. Ruby the Corgi, speaking of Cuteness with a Capital C, came along.

Ruby is particularly useful at this time of year because she’s highly seductive. Kids and teenagers just dote on her. And she returns the favor. So the whole evening out on the driveway is a nonstop love-fest.

The little kids are beyond cute. The teenagers are invariably hilarious. And truth to tell, it’s one of the few times you can spend several hours hanging out in the front yard after dark and feel safe about it.

***

…and now it’s the middle of the afternoon. I do need to get off my duff and do SOMETHING constructive. So far, I’ve diddled away most of the day.

Got it into my little pea brain to look up our old house in the beautiful Encanto district of central Phoenix. Where I live now is sometimes termed “the new Encanto”: aging homes of the type favored by the young and the upwardly mobile, places that buyers love to fix up, live in for awhile, and then sell for a handsome profit.

So I googled our house, a place that was just beautiful when we bought it from some ambitious fixer-uppers. It’s still there. And apparently later fixer-uppers have had at it.

IMHO, it’s a gawdawful mess. They’ve screwed up the office and kid’s bedroom we added on. Enclosed and effed up the lovely front patio that made such a spectacular entry. Dorked up the kitchen by removing the wall between it and the laundry room, installed stupidly designed (but no doubt stylish) kitchen cabinets of questionable utility, laid down THE most bizarre tile on the kitchen floor; turned the TV room into what appears to be a sitting room or guest room; installed a large set of French doors in the second bedroom; installed a wall along the east side of the building (an improvement over the neighbor’s gawdawful oleander jungle!); installed a mysterious new bathroom, very elegant; apparently moved the laundry into a new closet or room; paved most or all of the backyard (another improvement, to tell the truth); run an iron gate across the driveway into the carport (major improvement); fancified the front yard; on and on.

Some of the stuff IS very nice. Some of it is questionable. But gosh I miss that house. It was so beautiful!

Wonder what became of our neighbor Fran… She must be dead by now. She was an old lady when we lived there; she’d be a post-centenarian today.

Same would be true of the two ladies who babysat our son, neighbors who lived a street to the south of us. And of the big Catholic family across the street — mom and dad were into middle age by the time we lived there, and some of the kids were grown adults or nearly so. And of the low-income family at the end of the block, who must have lived there forever by the time we showed up.

My former best friend in the old neighborhood seems to have fallen off the edge of the earth. Her (ex-, I believe) husband is still practicing law…at the age of 87!  LOL! She must have cleaned out his bank account!

This exploration was inspired by the present Worry: Should I try to stay here in my house through my dotage? Or should I move into a handsome high-rise apartment on North Central? If so, when? How? Why? Am I indeed going to be forced to move into a “life-care” horror…uhm, “community” within the next five to ten years? Or will I be able to find ways to hire help to keep me in my own home and out of the clutches of any such “providers”? And is suicide painless?

Seriously: the question of where and how to spend the last couple decades (give or take) of my life is beginning to loom. Sometime in the not-so-far future, I’m going to have to decide when and where to relocate…if I must.

Ohhh well. Later!