Coffee heat rising

Another Day, Another Nightmare y-Cumin’ In

by

Ugh! Here we go again! Another noxious day in lovely uptown Phoenix. Just what I need, eh?

Today, someone named “Janie” is supposed to show up here. Who she is and what she’s primed to do: those details escape me. I assume she’s a babysitter.

Just what I need: another nosey nuisance in my face all day!

Well…the vacuum cleaner busted. So one thing we can do with this lady is make her drive it over to the Worst Buy, where they’ll repair the thing. Failing that, I suppose I can buy another vacuum. Just what I wanna spend a hundred-fifty or two hundred bucks on.

{chortle!} Seriously: if it weren’t for having to spend time with my fellow humans, it is a GORGEOUS day. Nay verily: a SPECTACULARLY gorgeous day. Cool. Smog-free. Lovely dawn. A gentle breeze barely moving the trees.

HOW do I not want to get in someone’s car and traipse around the city, looking for someone to repair a vacuum cleaner?

So…I expect that will be the nightmare of the day. The main one, anyway.

{sigh}

What a gorgeous morning! Normally, in this kind of weather the dawg and I would be taking a nice walk through the neighborhood. But no…

The “Janie” creature hasn’t shown up. It’s only 7:30, so it’ll probably be another hour or so before she surfaces. And by then it’ll be too hot to traipse over the sun-baked asphalt roads. So that will mean Ruby and I will get no walk this morning.

Y’know, the problem with living as a lone wolf is that when you do have to interact with people, it’s annoying. Annoying as Hell, one might say.

I don’t want people around me — especially not at this hour, first thing in the morning. And I don’t want to have to negotiate my day’s activities around the comings and goings of someone else.

Ugh. Need to take a bath and wash my hair. But…noooooo. Can’t be lounging in the bathtub with my ears underwater when some woman shows up at the front door.

So that means to get cleaned up, I’ll have to wait till she’s here. And that means I won’t have any privacy to bathe and put on clothes.

Ugh and UGH.

What I really wanna do is go back to bed. But obviously: that ain’t gonna happen. Not with this woman showing up.

***********

LOL! Not to say ohhhh forgodsake! 

Janie the Wonder-Cleaning Lady takes it upon herself to CLEAN AND REPAIR MY VACUUM CLEANER! Nothing I say will dissuade her!

Now she’s pouring tap water over the parts.

So…we’ll be buying a new vacuum cleaner one of these days.

Jayzuz!

Now she’s taking the filter to “put it in the sun so it’ll dry.” Nevermind that the ….  Ohgawd, the poor soul is making so much chaos, I actually lost track of what I was scribbling here!!!!

😀

Please, God. Take me now!  

I hope heaven is free of helpful nuisances. 

 

 

 

Let Us Try Again…

by

So…ahem!  What happens if we post another test entry? Or…what the hell: a WHOLE, REAL entry for Funny about Money???

Okay: testing, testing! 

****

Today we’re enjoying another Day from Hell. 

My poor son is so frustrated with me and so mad at me that he can barely manage to be civil. Yea verily, at times he can’t rise to that stratospheric height.

And I don’t blame him. Forgodsake, I can hardly remember my  name. I keep getting things confused. I keep fu*king things up. Everything I touch or even so much as think about goes KERFLOOIE!

And I’m starting to get really scared. Like, REALLY scared. 

Never before has the entire goddamn world gone bzzzzzzzz for me. Everything is confused. I can’t remember things. I lose things. I forget to pay bills. It’s a freaking ASTONISHING mess.

***

Wonder Cleaning Lady is here, wrestling with the pigpen. She’s a truly delightful and amazing person.

Honestly: at this point I don’t know what I’d do without her!

I  need to go to a grocery store, but dare not traipse through 100-degree heat on foot: eight or ten blocks each way. I probably could order something online…but in the past have discovered that is not a real successful way to get what you want.

Americans don’t eat a lot of fresh produce. When you order a delivery, you have to ask for packaged stuff: things that a person doesn’t have to pick out. Ask for fresh vegetables or fruit, and what you get is ick. Yeah: inedible ick.

So the only way I can get the kind of food I normally eat — largely fresh produce — is to go to the store and pick it out myself.

And…if I can’t do that, I’m in a pickle.

An inedible pickle!

Might ask her to drive me to a store…but that seems a little much. She’s spent hours cleaning this place….and now I want her to chauffeur me around?

Don’t think so….

WHOA!!!!! 

Lookee here! Sprouts opens at 7 a.m.!!!!

Holeee shee-ut! 

Even in the current weather, at that hour the air will be cool enough that I could get up there and back without succumbing to a heat stroke.

Jeez! Who knew?

Okay, let’s think about this….

If I left here at 6:30 — maybe more like 6:40, actually — I could get there just as they open. I do have a little-old-lady’s rolling cart(!!). So if I dragged that over there, I could load the groceries into it, get out of the store by about 7:30 a.m., and reach the house at 8:00.

It would still be on the low side of unbearably hot by then: no question of it. But…it wouldn’t be suicidal yet! I probably could get a pile of food and household stuff and get back here before the heat would be enough to make me sick.

Looks like temperatures are expected to be around 79 to 82 degrees at that hour.

Yeah. That’s tolerable. But yeah: I will have to shoot out of the house at dawn.

Goodie.

And as we scribble?

A hot, heavy wind has blown up. It’s roaring around out there.

That is NOT something you wanna be strolling around in. So that obviates trotting to the store this evening…even if that was something I wanted to do. Which I sure as Hell don’t….

So…hmmm…. Will I be able to BBQ tonight? Wanted to cook up the salmon my son bought for me a couple days ago.

Doesn’t look like it. But…one never knows.

Wait until Wonder-Cleaning Lady leaves and then decide, I guess.

And if this weather obviates grilling? Hmmm…  Well…there’s pasta…that’ll do the job, I reckon.

***
AUGH!!!!

Just to make everything perfect, Wonder Cleaning-Lady reports that the damn vacuum cleaner is busted.

I fiddle with it. I dork with it.

Yep. She’s right: it’s not working.

With no car, tomorrow I’ll have to DRAG it to the appliance store. Won’t that be fun!  While I’m dragging a shopping cart, too.

Okay. Let’s tempt a little fate and see if this post will go online….

 

 

Movin’ On…

by

As we last contemplated in the most recent post: Best to just keep chuggin’away and hope Funny — or my computer — will stay online.

For…oh, my!  It is SO ungodly hot outside And without a car, getting this contraption to the repair shop is…well…quite the little challenge.

Right now the laptop is running. Seems to be running OK. So…let’s just hope it stays that way.

Horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE weather. Thermometer on the back porch now reads 100 degrees, with thick, heavy white clouds mounding up in the north. Wunderground predicts a stunning 2% chance of rain today.

Yep.  That’s all of two percent! Hot. Humid. Horrible!!!!

Hmmmm…..  Y’know…

OHHHH HELLE’S BELLES!!!!

Bing Bong!

Front doorbell.

Ohhhhhhhh sheee-ut!

CLEANING LADY!

Goddammit! I had no idea today was a Cleaning Lady Day. Now I’ve gotta get off my duff, run around, and pick up the mess.

Later!

Another new test post

by

Hmmmm….  So the last effort went online smoothly…I think. At least, it seems to have done so.

If anything has crashed, I’m not sure WHAT has crashed: Whether it’s my website, whether it’s my computer, whether it’s my online connection, or…what????

Need to find a tech who can figure this stuff out…and without a car…hevvin help us!!  That is going to entail a walk through 100-dgree heat…with no assurance that whoever is at the other end of the walk can do anything about the problem.

Okay….

In the absence of any sure knowledge of what has crashed…or whether ANYTHING has crashed…I suspect the best thing to do is nothing. I do have another computer that probably will connect with my websites and operate OK (assuming it’s not the FaM site itself that has gone down).

So: nothing.

Kindly hope for the best!

Trying again….

by

Hmmm….  It doesn’t look like Funny has COMPLETELY crashed…but something is direly wrong.

God. It’s over 100 degrees outside. My son has kiped my car. It’s a six- or eight-block walk to the nearest computer store. How on EARTH am I going to get this system working again?????