Funny about Money

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. ―Edmund Burke

All I wanna do is WRITE!

Damned if I’m not digitized out. The digital stuff is freaking consuming my life! I start at 5:30 in the morning and work through until 8 or 9 p.m. And what do I accomplish?

Unclear.

Whatever it is, I ain’t gettin’ rich on it.

Actually, I think the truly huge digital hassle factor may be coming to an end. I now have all eighteen Fire-Rider stories ensconced on Amazon, where they can be published with a single click, according to schedule. Two of them just went online as we scribble:

Book 12: Our Harried Heroes Struggle through the Mountains

Book 13: Wahoo!! The Trade and Flesh Capital of Our Heroes’ Known World

In the UNHOLY Time-Suck Department, yesterday I finally acquired 18 high-resolution versions of what I thought were supposed to be the cover images but what were actually 72-dps images, fine for thumbnails but trash for covers. These I uploaded to Google Drive, since DropBox doesn’t provide enough storage space to hold them all plus all the other stuff loaded up there by me, my sidekicks, and our clients.

Trotted over to Amazon and re-uploaded the 300-dps images for all 13 books now online there: not as deadly tedious as one would think, but still a time-suck. An unnecessary time-suck, which made it mighty galling.

Then I went through ALL EIGHTEEN DAMN BOOKS, averaging around 11,000 words apiece (some are much longer), and revamped them to fit the tastes of Smashwords — at least, as far as you can tell from what passes for Smashwords’ brain-bangingly verbose user manual. This entailed getting rid of all links to Amazon (of which there are up to 20 in each document) and making a number of other changes. Time-consuming and tedious beyond your wildest dreams!

And I assigned ISBNs to all the remaining .mobi versions, and then to about a dozen ePub versions. If you think manually deleting dozens and dozens of links (Word 2008 for Mac will not do a batch link deletion!) is time-consuming and tedious, you ain’t seen nuthin‘ until you fart with an ISBN form.

And of course, Bowker’s software developed some kind of a glitch, in which it decided I was trying to sell to the U.K., not the U.S. Back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth — all in slow motion, of course — with Bowker’s tech people helped this problem only marginally. I would end up having to crash out of the form, sign out of the site, sign back in, and re-open the form. Of course, all the data I’d entered would be gone, so I’d have to re-enter all the form’s ditz and pray it would let me “Submit.”

However, all this stuff is now done. I also realized that I could adjust the size of the 72 DPI images to widget size in Preview rather than in WordPress. This relieves me from having to jump through that hoop three times for three websites. And Twitter. Building the widgets will still be a time-suck, but a slightly less lengthy & tedious time-suck. Assuming, of course, that this works. Which we’re about to find out…

right…

…NOW

 Yes. Yes, yes, YES!!!!!!!

It works!!!!!!! Check out those fine little widgets! → → → →

Now lookee here, dear readers: Your Beloved Funny NEEDS you to trot on over to Amazon, download one of these, and post a review!

If you would like to review one or more of the Fire-Rider stories, let me know (in the comments, below ) and I’ll send you a .mobi or a PDF (soon, I hope, we’ll have ePub files, too).

I also have a draft of the first boxed set, which I can send to you in .mobi or PDF. This will contain six of the serials, which are averaging around 11,000 words apiece. So a boxed set is about the length of a typical full-length genre novel.

Reviews are trending positive so far. So it’s possible that my elevated opinion of this book — that it’s surprisingly good and a fun read — is not a delusion.

And no, these are not the proposed p0rn, which won’t start going online until the first week of October. There’s virtually no sex in the saga, which is a Joseph Campbellesque journey tale. (Think Star Wars, only without the spaceships.)

At any rate, I’m hoping that once all of these are online at Amazon and through Smashwords, things will settle down so I can get back to my own writing projects. Ideally, I’d like to be able to write for three days in a row, followed by one day devoted to the digital stuff.

And so, to work…

↓ ↓ ↓ Get your review copy here!  ↓ ↓ ↓

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Author: funny

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