Coffee heat rising

Cool Dude!

My son: definite COOL DUDE. 

The man took time off his job(!!) to schlep me up to the Mayo Clinic, there to get a blood test. That’s a bit of a drive, and as you know, sitting around a doctor’s waiting room is always an efficient use of your time. /eyeroll/

Drove me out to the fringe of Ritzy-Titzyville, drove me home, helped with a bunch of ditz… Dang! How nice, eh?

Once left alone back here, I realized a grocery trip was in order. But…it’s hotter than the hubs out there this afternoon. So…guess I’ll wait till sunset and then make a run on the Sprouts or the Fry’s supermarket to pick up bread and dog food and whatnot.

A nuisance, but better than going out there in this heat!

Y’know…this is one of the most conveniently located neighborhoods in the city: not one, not two, but three major grocery markets within easy walking distance. Plus a veterinarian. A hair stylist. A computer store. A Bookman’s. And on and on and on. Truth to tell, between those stores and Amazon, I really hardly even need to leave my house to get my shopping done. Just call ’em on the phone and they’ll deliver!

Seriously! These days, I go into stores to shop more out of boredom than for any need to select loot.

This evening, I’ll hit the supermarket to pick up a few more cans of dog food for Ruby, a jar of maple syrup, a box of tea bags, and whatnot. None of this stuff is urgent…and so the truth is, I may not bother.

Recently the prospect of following SDXB and New Girlfriend out to Sun City has crossed my fevered little mind. But…y’know…  I don’t wanna. 

First, because it’s a bitch of a drive into this part of town from unlovely Sun City. And my son lives here, not anywhere down in that direction. I just don’t see enough of an advantage to living in Old Folks’ Central to actually move out there.

Second. because Sun City is right under the Luke Air Force Base flight path. And so…NOISE???  Lemme tellya NOISE!!!!!

The pilots start their daily practice at dawn, and the jets roar back and forth and up and down for a good four hours. You can’t sit on your back porch without being blasted off your chair.

Hilariously, my mother used to pretend she actually liked that racket. “It’s the sound of freedom!” she used to simper.

Uhm. No, Mom: it’s the sound of World War III, comin’ your way. 

She used to drive me crazy with that “sound of freedom” BS. But I guess she believed it. And hey: whatever makes ya happy, eh?

You can hear those jets blasting all the way up here in North Central: that’s a good 20 miles. Or more. The racket as heard from my parents’ back porch, 20 miles closer to the base, was freakin’ deafening. 

Ohhh well.

So here I am, all alone in fancy-Dan North Central, without any other old buzzards around to keep me company. If I’d get off my duff and go to the church, I surely would make friends and find folks to fill some time. But…well…religion isn’t really my Thing.

And truth to tell, I don’t know of anything else that goes on in the central  part of Phoenix that appeals to me.

Guess I could go back to teaching adjunct in the junior colleges.

But…uhm… Y’know…  That’s work! And I do have a moral objection to that stuff. 😉

Hiking in the nearby desert preserves fills some time. But…man! I’ve had a couple of real creepy experiences up there, and so these days feel little enthusiasm for tromping around the foothills by myself. My friends have all moved to Sun City and waypoints, or else passed away. And so just now I don’t know anyone who would like to keep me company (and act as de facto bodyguard) on those early-morning, pre-hot hours strolls.

Alas, Cool Dude fills his daytime hours with that job of his. So…that doesn’t leave a lot of choice in ways to occupy one’s retirement hours.

****

WOW, is it hot out there. The thermometer doesn’t seem to think so: it’s only registering 105 degrees. But man! Walk out that back door, and it feels like you’re walking into an oven!

Guess it must be a little humid. That’s what makes Arizona heat feel like actual heat. 

Anyway….that will moot tonight’s doggy-walk, for sure. And take care of any silly ideas I might have had about walking up to the grocery store. FORGET that!! 😀

and soooo….

Out the door at 7:00 a.m. tomorrow morning. That’s when the nearest grocers open. In an hour, I can collect enough loot to reload the pantry and get back here just in time to evade the first blast of heat.

 

STILL hotter than the hubs…

My GAWD!!!!  Ruby and I: just back from our morning perambulation of the park. By 7:30, it was SOOO HOT and SOOO WET out there, the human was literally drenched. Horrible!

Hideously reminiscent of (un)lovely Saudi Arabia, in the sun-scorched sand by the waves of the Persian Gulf. Gawdawful place!!!!  So glad to NOT be there.

And in fact, if my son weren’t here in (un)lovely Phoenix, you can be sure I would NOT be here. Between the ever-urbanizing, ugly city and the truly ugly summer weather, this would not be where I would choose to live.

Well, one nice thing about this morning: the nasty weather kept most of the air-headed dog-walkers indoors. So Ruby and I didn’t have to dodge a lot of out-of-control pooches, for a change.

Why are people soooo stupid about their dogs???

Anyway, what we did get to see was an almost brand-new baby being pushed along in a carriage by his spectacularly proud dad. That was cool!!!

Metaphorically speaking…

Tooling along thinking…man! I’ve gotta get a lawyer to replace the very late and once great Mike Kimerer. We need to be sure all the wills and paperwork and debts and whatnot are set up for M’jito. I don’t want to surprise him by croaking over and leaving some kind of unholy mess for him to plow through, instead of an orderly estate.

Nobody’s there at Mike’s office: apparently his partners (office-mates may be more like it???) just shut everything down and threw out his files. My will was in one of those files…

I guess I’ll try to reach the ex-husband (high-test lawyer, retired) to see if he can refer me to someone to be sure all that stuff is in order.  Failing that:

????

 

 

 

Another Soggy Doggy Day

6:40 in the morning, and Ruby drags her human back in the house from the morning doggy-walk. The human is glad to get back indoors. It is overcast out there, and literally, the air IS so wet as to be soggy. 

We managed to avoid the park, which is the “long way” walk for us, and to dodge into the rarified environs of Upper Richistan. Gosh, but it’s swell up there!

Swell…windy…and wet…

The yards are irrigated, not sprinklered. So the swaths of grass in those parts (grass! can you imagine the extravagance??!?) are often ponds full of dirty water.

Thinking about my relatives — in particular my mother’s paternal grandmother, who raised my mother into her early teens. The grandmother had diabetes, back in the day when there was no such thing as insulin. Ultimately, after years of insane dieting, she died of it. Out in the country. On a dirt farm, WAY out in the sticks of upstate New York.

After she croaked over, her husband — my mother’s grandfather — shipped his grand-daughter to the California relatives, since it was thought inappropriate for a young girl to be living alone with a male relative, out in the middle of nowhere.

The Californians, who were relatively affluent (certainly compared to the poverty-stricken New Yorkers), lived in San Francisco’s East Bay. Berkeley, I believe, even at that early date.

My mother was just awed and astonished by her new lifestyle.

One of the things she talked about was riding to school on a school bus. She had — get this! — never seen a bus before! In the sticks of New York, the kiddies rode to school on the back of a horse-drawn wagon. To hear her talk, she was beyond amazed at the affluence of the East Bay lifestyle.

Heh. Think of that!

Now here I am, her daughter, pushing old age in the Fancy-Dan environs of North Central Phoenix, living amidst million-dollar homes.

No, my house is no million-dollar shack: our neighborhood is the low-rent section. But still, it’s as nice or nicer than anyplace she and my father could afford, even on his pretty substantial (for a workingman) salary. Still…

Every time I walk around here, I’m amazed (and grateful) that the Realtor I hired when I looked for my first post-marital house brought me to this neighborhood. Who even knew it was here? I sure didn’t.

It’s part of a downscale district to the north of Fancy-Dan North Central, along that district’s southern border. Yet in the time since I bought my first house here, our parts have caught the plague of Fancy-Danitude from the swell areas around us.

My mother was once again awed and astonished when she saw my new digs.

Truth to tell, this tract was built by the same developer that built out Sun City, where, by the time I moved here, she and my father were established. The houses are well built, on decent-sized lots with actual WALLS running along the alleys behind the backyard. Block construction. Decent roofs. So…even though we’re officially in the ill-favored Sunnyslope suburb, our area looks like it’s part of North Central.

And that jacks up the property values. WAY up. 😀 Even though — truth to tell — the houses are basically the same as the ones in Sun City.

I’d dearly love to stay here until I die.

That’s an unlikely proposition. Even though I hire a cleaning lady (bless her!!!) and a pool dude and Gerardo the miraculous yard dude, eventually the place no doubt will get beyond my ability to care for. Then it will be off to the dreaded Beatitudes for me: an overpriced prison for old folks.

I do hope I die well before I reach the Beatitudes stage!

Not likely, though: longevity runs in my family. And so…Old Folks’ Prison is indeed my most likely final life stage.

Ugh! Sincerely, I do hope I die before that point. But don’t (heh!!) hold your breath. A typical life span on my mother’s side is upwards of 90.

But she died in her mid-60s, primarily (I believe) because she was a walking smokestack. And because she caught amoebic dysentery in lovely Araby, which damn near killed her then. My father and his brothers lived into their 80s, and they all had hard lives. And both of my parents smoked. My mother was never conscious when she didn’t have a cigarette in her mouth.

Literally true: you knew when she was awake in the middle of the night or in the morning by the stink of her fukkin’ cigarette emanating from her room.

The cigarettes killed her. But…maybe they gave her enough pleasure to make it worth the peculiarly grim exit she got from them.

Think my father was 84 when he died. But he indeed was one of the smokers, and he never really recovered from the depression brought on by my mother’s death. Plus spending most of your adult life going to sea on an oil tanker couldn’t do much for your longevity. His brother, a good Baptist boy who did not smoke, lived into his 90s…and he died because he fell off a ladder while trying to change a ceiling lightbulb. Busted himself up good!

None of these family deaths, I think, were caused by hereditary disease. They were mostly caused by stupidity: smoking, risking your life for a household chore. How you avoid stupidity escapes me…just have to take your chances, I reckon.

But my great-aunt and my great-grandmother managed it. Maybe I can, too. 

😀

Hot enough to fry your brain…if you still have one…

WILL WordPress let me back in this time???

Hmmmmmm…..  The answer would appear to be “Yep!” But…let us hold our wind and water…we don’t KNOW that it will let me post this squib. Ohhhh well...got nothin’ else to do just now.

M’hijito, my honored son, just called on the horn. He’s on his way out of town and all worried that I’m not competent to buy a bag of groceries. Or, more to the point, that I’ll try to walk to the grocery store (a distance of about three blocks) in the broiling heat.

{chortle!}  What CAN one say?

* Yes, I’m stupid, but I’m not that stupid.
* I’ll call Uber and ask them to drive me the three blocks to the store.
* Don’t worry: if the dawg and I run out of food before you get back, we’ll just do without until you get here.
* Pass me the goddam bottle of wine.

See, the problem I have these days is that people don’t seem to recognize when I’m kidding. And I don’t understand why. ‘Cause I’ve always been something of a kidder. Why isn’t it obvious anymore?

Well, to be honest (and no, NOT kidding this time), it’s 105 degrees out there. And no, I wouldn’t be happy about my 80-ish mother wandering around, alone, in 105-degree heat.

And that’s what we’ve got right now, in the balmy shade of the back patio: 105 degrees. Hevvin only knows what it is in the full sun. 

But…y’know…I’m stupid, but I’m not THAT stupid.

Of course I’m not about to junket up Conduit of Blight Blvd and across the parking lot at Conduit of Blight and Main Drag North through 105-degree heat. Soooo…WHY does he think I might actually be that stupid?

***

Okay….let us imagine some part of the agèd brain is still functional. How ARE we gonna get the chow we need?

Here in the ‘Hood, we have several possibilities for the agèd and the witless:

* Uber. This neighborhood is overrun with Uber cabs. If I wanted someone to drive me to a grocery store RIGHT NOW, I could call Uber.

* A train. It rides on tracks that run north and south past the Funny Farm, less than three blocks to the west.

* Busses. They run on the same thoroughfare; just not as often.

* Feet. The shopping center is only three blocks up to the north! Even in the blasting heat, a person in normal health (as I happen to be) is not going to expire from walking that far.

By the same token, neither am I about to pay a bus or a train to carry me three blocks to a store. Gimme a break!

* Time and the River Flowing… As a practical matter, in about six hours the sun will have gone down, the air will be much cooler, and walking up to that shopping center will be a simple and safe matter.

Yeah…WAIT until the sun goes down, forgodsake! Or start before the sun gets high enough to fry the landscape! How hard is that?

Oh well. Truth to tell, I wouldn’t have been real happy about my mother gallivanting in 105-degree heat. So I can’t bellyache too much!

Further truth to tell, though, the issue is not the ambient temperature. It’s the ambient humidity.

Ugh!!! As we scribble, it’s overcast out there (got that?: 105 degrees and cloudy!). And yeah, that does make for some real unpleasant heat — even dangerous heat.

So…yeah. Afraid it’s not a good afternoon to trot on over to the Albertson’s.

Muse Me No Muzak!

Daaayum, but I hate Muzak. Do you know anyone who actually likes to sit on the phone interminably listening to bing-bing-BONG-bing/bong bong BING bing pumped into their ear?

Tried to call Young Dr. Kildare’s new office, way to hell and gone out in Sun City, by way of canceling today’s appointment. Ring ’em up and get bing-bing-BONG-bing/bong bong BING bing blasting into the phone. Finally, after about five minutes of this annoyance, some poor office worker came on the line, just as I was about to slam down the phone.

Y’know, one of the problems with this endlessly annoying “system” is that by the time an employee answers the phone, your customer is in SUCH A RAGE that it’s almost impossible to muster a shard of politeness.

Another problem: since Dr. Kildare makes his (dis)respect for his patients/customers so obvious, you can be SURE this one will never show up in his environs again.

Y’know, I think the Mayo is just great. Love my doc out there, though sometimes question her opinions. But the problem is…their offices are WAAAAYYYYY over on the far side of north Scottsdale, halfway to freakin’ Payson. A drive over there takes upwards of 40 minutes — one way. So you’re on the road for 80 minutes to spend maybe 10 minutes with MayoDoc.

Annoying.

At the time I knew him here, YDK’s office was right up the street from my house. Literally: I could walk there, if I felt so ambitious. That and the fact that he’s reasonably smart and competent led me to schedule visits with him for any medical issue that looked fairly tame. Saved the Mayo safari for ailments that looked downright terrifying.

And when you get old, you DO get enough of those to help pay a doctor’s overhead…

At any rate…probably in search of an older, more ailing clientele, YDK closed his office in Moon Valley, a suburb just up the road from the Funny Farm, and decamped to Sun City.

long drive from here. A long, crowded, unpleasant drive.

But…I like him so much that I decided I would follow him…westward, ever westward.

***
Uh huh. Tried that. Ain’t tryin’ it again. 
***

My parents lived in Sun City. My mother died there, under the care of the most UNcaring doctors I ever met. So, I determined that I would never, ever let a Sun City doctor have at me.

Needless to say, YDK’s move out there led to some agonizing second thoughts. 

A huge, brand-new, fancy hospital has sprung up in Sun City. One guesses that YDK and his partners decided to go out there so they could get in on the ground floor of that thing…and have access to some swell new office digs. All very nice.

But if I’m going to drive half my lifetime to see a doctor, I guess — oh, make that I know I’d rather go east than west. ANY day I’d rather go to a Mayo Clinic doctor than to Albert Schweitzer in Sun City! Hafta say: the experiences we had out there — in Sun City — while my mother was dying were just horrificI swore I’d never go near another Sun City doctor or hospital…and…well… I reckon now is the time to honor that oath.

‘Bye, YDK…you will be missed!

<3