Coffee heat rising

Lunch

Turkish lentil soup

So sick have I been that I haven’t eaten at all in about three days. That’s literally true, except for a bowl of ice cream that upset my stomach and a few bites of pasta that upset my stomach. And possibly it explains why I feel a bit weak in the knees?

Tried making open-faced melted cheese on stale bread this morning. Yech! That didn’t work…

Ooohkay, so it occurred to me that maybe some soup would be good. I could weave down to AJ’s, the local gourmet emporium, and pick up some of their prepared soups — they package up whatever is left over from their lunchtime soup & salad bar and sell it in individual containers.

But like all commercially prepared foodoids, it’s usually oversalted. The mouth already feels like a blowtorch has been running in there. The last thing I need is to pucker up with a megadose of salt.

Why not actually MAKE some soup? It’s pretty easy…

So I raided the cookbook and came up with three likely proposals:

  • Broccoli with cheese. That looks pretty easy to make.
  • Lentil soup with spinach. Also very easy, plus you can use frozen spinach. Plus I could add some of the chard that’s run amok out back because I haven’t been able to eat it.
  • TFL’s corn chowder. A ridiculously easy dish: onion, a package of corn, a can of tomatoes, 2 cans of low-salt chicken broth, cilantro: mix together.

And it was off (unhappily) to AJ’s.

Got most of the ingredients. But…what I didn’t count on is that even low-sodium broth is NOT low-sodium…1/4 of your RDA a salt-free product does not make. And the only variants of that on AJ’s shelves came in cardboard boxes — which in my experience flavor the contents with…uck! Cardboardy-plasticky flavor.

Buying some chicken legs was out of the question: AJ’s is too tony to sell packages of chicken, and the price for junk chicken there is over $7 a pound. I want the soup, but I don’t want it that bad.

As usual, the city of Phoenix has all the streets around the ‘hood dug up, blocking me from getting into the corner Alberston’s easily. But then I realized I have a giant package of Costco chicken thighs and legs — boned and skinned, unfortunately, but if one just MUST make this recipe, there it is: one could spend half of one’s fevered afternoon cooking up chicken broth.

Ugh.

Back at the Funny Farm, decided on the lentil soup for today, because it requires the least amount of moving around to accomplish. It should be good:

  • 1 pound (2 cups) lentils
  • 1/2 cup roughly chopped onion
  • olive oil
  • salt to taste
  • package of frozen spinach (or about 1/2 pound fresh)
  • 2 Tbsp lemon juice
  • large dollop of butter, if desired
  • 9 cups water

Lentils that you get in packages these days no longer need to be cooked an hour to soften them. So (contrary to the original, ancient recipe), you need only simmer these about 20 minutes before moving on with the recipe.

Wash the lentils in a sieve (probably don’t even need to do that these days, but it can’t hurt). Place them in a soup kettle and add the water. Bring to a boil, then turn down to simmer until they’re softened. Meanwhile, cut up the onion, place it in a frying pan with a generous dollop of olive oil, and gently cook until softened and just starting to brown.

Place the cooked onions in with the softened lentils and allow to simmer about an hour (so says the recipe: I’m giving it a half-hour or 45 minutes). Then add the frozen spinach and cook until it defrosts and flavors mix — maybe another 10 or 15 minutes. I’m going to add the fresh chard at this point, too.

Add the lemon juice to the finished soup. Then serve it up in a bowls with a dollop of butter each.

I may add some cumin to this: it sounds a bit on the bland side. We shall see.**
_________
**“Bland” is an understatement. I think…it’s hard to tell, because I still can’t taste anything. Did add cumin: bland. Added some Madras curry powder: that seemed to perk it up a bit.

What I really wanted was the corn chowder that I can’t get any decent chicken broth for. This is crazy easy to make, and you can add any kind of veggies to it. Therefore (think I), it ought to be good for what ails you.

  • 1 onion, coarsely chopped
  • 1 clove garlic, chopped
  • 1 large can tomatoes (I plan to use a box of Pomi tomatoes, which are far superior)
  • 1 package frozen corn
  • 2 cans low-salt chicken broth (good luck with that! If you make your own, 2 cans = about 4 cups)
  • grated orange zest
  • splash of orange juice, if you have it
  • olive oil

In a large stew pot, cook the onion and garlic in olive oil over low heat until softened. Add the remaining ingredients and simmer for a few minutes to blend flavors.

Allow to cool. Spoon into a blender, a little at a time, and whirl to a smooth consistency.

You can serve this with chopped cilantro and a spoonful of yogurt or sour cream. It’s as good cold as it is hot.

I’ve not made the broccoli and cheese soup, but it looks restorative. Check this out:

  • 1 package frozen broccoli or 1 bunch fresh broccoli, separated and tough ends removed
  • 3 Tablespoons butter
  • 3 tablespoons flour
  • 1 quart milk
  • 1 cup grated Cheddar cheese
  • salt & pepper to taste

Cook the broccoli in water until just tender.

In another pot, melt the butter, add the flour, and stir until smooth. After cooking for a few minutes, ad some of the milk, a little at a time, stirring constantly until smooth and thickened. Add the cheese and cook over low heat for a few minutes until melted. Add the broccoli and heat well.

The recipe doesn’t say to use the whole quart of milk, but since that’s the only liquid and the chef thinks the soup serves four to six, I assume that’s what’s meant.

Try these out. I think the corn chowder, which I invented, is in the 30 Pounds cookbook; the others are from a mystery source that I photocopied and stuck in my recipe binder.

Image: Lentil soup, DepositPhotos, © spaxiax

A Gorgeous New Day…for Dieting

What a beautiful day! Clear and cool and indescribably gorgeous. If only we were in Yarnell.

The woochies and I started the day with a crack-of-dawn doggy-walk. Between the damn train and the constant construction, the ’hood has become a noisy place. Especially in the evening, the racket from Conduit of Blight Boulevard is now almost as loud here as it was at my old house, near War Zone Corners. Though this house is in the same tract, it’s generally much quieter: far enough from the Corners that the cop helicopters don’t park on the roof at 11:30 p.m. every Friday and Saturday night, and generally far enough from Conduit of Blight to fade the traffic racket to a distant rumble.

But when the atmospheric conditions are right — as they are when the weather is lovely — the Blight Conduit noise is as loud a roar here as it was in the old house, where some evenings SDXB and I had to shout to make ourselves heard if we had any misbegotten ideas about enjoying an after-dinner drink in the backyard.

Seriously: if there were any infrastructure in Yarnell, I’d move up there in an instant. But: no doctor, no dentist, no vet, one antiquated gas station, a general store for groceries…that’s fine when you’re a young pup, I guess, but at a certain point in life you move beyond your enthusiasm for driving two hours to get to a Costco or a medical specialist.

Oh well. This morning was perfect for breakfast on the back patio. To my horror, I discovered that after losing .5 pounds as of yesterday a.m., I gained .4 back this morning. DAMN!

This, after a fair amount of vigorous activity, including a speed walk of 2+ miles in the afternoon heat. Must have been the polenta. Or…more likely, the beer I had with the mid-day steak and salad.

So we won’t be buying any more beer soon. 😀

I’m about out of food, marking time now until the end of this month’s budget cycle. Out of the melons, apples, and papaya that have been breakfast — and melon is now out of season, so I’m going to have to come up with something new to eat in the morning. Breakfast in America is a challenge when you don’t eat eggs.

But today I dreamed up this: grilled mahi topped with a sort of guacamole made on the fly. It was incredibly good!

Costco sells some factory-made “guacamole” in small, single-serving packets, perfect for smearing on a sandwich or a few crackers. Its drawback is that it does contain some salt, which just now I’m trying to do without by way of engineering a fake but dramatic (morale-building) weight drop. But it tastes pretty good for commercial stuff, and it’s mostly avocado. Better would be to take half a small, ripe avocado and mash it.

To this add a bit of ground cumin (maybe about a quarter tsp±) and, if you have it, a squeeze of fresh lime or lemon. Toss in some chopped tomato. Mix it up.

Rub a slab of fish with some olive oil; sprinkle with herbs to your taste (herbes de Provence came to hand this morning). Cook to perfection over a propane grill. Serve it up with the avocado dressing smeared over it.

Had a few grapes with it: they’re in season just now and very delicious.

This kind of good-for-you food is surprisingly easy to make, especially if you have a propane grill and weather that allows you to cook outside year-round.

The Borderlands Food Bank folk will be back in the neighborhood come the first Saturday of November. I will be there when they open, around 8 a.m. Sixty pounds of produce for $10 just about defies belief! I’m still eating the frozen servings of eggplant lasagne I made from their largesse last spring. Unfortunately, I put some rotelli in it to stretch it, which worked nicely but which militates against using the stuff as diet food.

The main features of the 30-day/4 Months Diet are

Lots of fruit & veggies, in salads or cooked
Fresh meats and fish
No added salt
No processed sugar (but fruits are allowed)
No refined starches (i.e., nothing with any kind of flour in it)
Few or no other food starches (i.e., avoid potatoes, rice, corn, processed cereals, peas…)
40 to 60 minutes of moderate exercise per day (i.e., a decent brisk walk or two)

Honest to God. It is just too obscenely beautiful to (ugh!) work today. I feel like dropping everything, tossing the dogs in the car, and baptizing Phryne LaVenza on Yarnell Hill.

Buy this book, my friends, so I will never have to work again. 🙂

cookbook

Spinning Wheels in the Publishing Business

So the page proofs for the cookbook shipped from the new PoD vendor. When I was down at the plant the other day, they advised me to  enter their address as the shipping address in the order form, and then I could just run down there and pick them up, free of shipping charges.

Heeee! The message didn’t reach the mail room. Someone actually made out a mailing label and put it in the mail! Hilarious!

Post office said it was supposed to be delivered today. The front office guys were abhorred. They offered to print a new one. I said the world’s gears were not grinding to a halt and not to worry about it.

That will add another couple of days to the cookbook production. Those of you who asked for copies: hang in there! The thing is on its way.

fire book 2aiMeanwhile, on Wednesday I was supposed to have posted …. uhm… “published” the third and final collection of Fire-Rider stories — Books XIII through XVIII — to Amazon in Kindle format. For various reasons, that didn’t get done. Now it’s finally winging its way toward my sidekick, who has a PC on which to update the table of contents. Cutely, Kindle cannot read a TofC that has been compiled in or updated in any Mac program.

The new marketing agent had the privilege of tearing her hair (instead of me having to do it!) until she got all a set of ads posted on Facebook, plugging these fine pieces of literature.

As it develops — get this! — Facebook has the most incredibly stupid rule to the effect that an image for a Facebook Ad may not have more than 20% of its area devoted to type. See that boxed set image there? Just the byline and the title cover  24% of the image. Yes. What it means is, in effect, you can’t advertise a book on Facebook!

She finally managed to cobble something together by using one of the designer’s early iterations of the cover that had almost no coverlines on it. But…uhm…what we’re advertising, then, is not what we’re selling.

At any rate, while we await the correct table of contents, the collection’s interior can be prepared for hard copy printing. I need to get all three of the “boxed set” volumes posted at the PoD guy’s site, so copies of those can be ordered as needed.

So I was going to spend part of the day converting that thing for print format.

Instead, though, I ended up spending most of the time available laying out a client’s memoir for print publication — the interior pages, that is. I don’t have a cover image from him and so can’t do anything about that. But I think I’d rather have him see the interior first, lest he decide he’d like a different trim size. The book is fairly long, and I’m thinking the standard trade book size — 5.5 x 8.5 inches — might give us more pages than we’d like. A larger trim size will mean fewer pages. I guess.

I’ve reduced the font size and will install narrower margins once everything is flowed into the template. I’d like to keep the thing under 400 pages, which I think will happen. We’re at 233 typeset pages now; the MS is 300 pages, but he insists on typing single-spaced, so in reality it’s almost 600 manuscript pages: around 130,500 words. A lot of words.

🙂 Guy’s done a lot of living. Most of it pretty interesting…

Other parts of the day were consumed with driving a payment to mail from the post office, since my mailbox was robbed again yesterday, driving to the drugstore, running interference between the accountant and a subcontractor over W-9s, and on and endlessly on.

The new Fort Knox of a mailbox has yet to be installed. Wish WonderHandyman would get off the dime! Not that it matters for outgoing mail: henceforth everything I need to mail will have to be physically delivered to the post office — no more little red flag for the mailman. Uhm….mailperson…personperson.

 And now it’s getting late at night. Nothing has gotten done — or at least, nothing has been carried through to completion, other than mailing one (count it, 1) envelope with a check in it. The dogs are conked out, and the human hopes to be so, too. Very soon.

Cookbooks Sell?

Dark Kindle LoResHot diggety, folks! The 30 Pounds/4 Months cookbook seems to be selling. Either that or I created one heckuva cover for the thing.

Clicks on the Bitly link for the cookbook exceed those for any of the Racy Books by about a zillion to one. Apparently readers are more concerned about their waistlines than their fantasy sex lives. 😀

We may be looking at the difference between plugging a book on Facebook and plugging it on Twitter. Obviously, I can’t very well post glowing reviews of Porn Lite novelettes on FB, so all of the active campaigning for the Roberta Stuart bookoids has gone up on Twitter and Google+. Twitter is a bottomless pothole for that kind of stuff, so one competes against well-funded, savvy advertisers there.

The mention I put on Facebook was passed along by a couple of FB friendoids there. That presumably had the effect of a recommendation. And it presumably reached a lot more people than my feeble FB membership does.

Interesting. It speaks to the idea (one that has gone unarticulated in this space) of creating short eBooks from past FaM content. Y’know, Funny has been in business since Two Thousand and Aught-Seven! That is an OLD PF blog.

Funny isn’t even a personal finance blog anymore. These days it’s more like a lifestyle blog…or just a personal journal. How many times can you say “get a job…live below your means…save extra cash…set up a Roth IRA…use your employer’s 401(k)…get out of debt…start a side hustle…check out these bargains…avoid these scams…try these frugal household hints…make your own laundry soap” without turning blue? Hafta say: after a few years of that one gets mightily tired of it. Plus the field is way too crowded now. I wonder how many PF bloggers are out there today? Has anyone checked Sam‘s Yakezie group‘s membership lately? It must be vast by now.

BTW, did you read this post from Sam on the hidden benefits of trolls? The guy’s a freaking genius.

LOL! I’m too easily distracted today. Must brew another pot of coffee and get down to some actual work.