In the Night Kitchen

Insomnia! How I hate it. The night closes in like a black, sticky, toxic cloud, bringing with it all manner of prickly little horrors.

Five things I regret having done

• Leaving a perfectly fine husband
• Leaving my son behind
• Not being with my mother when she was dying
• Having agreed to go to the University of Arizona, not insisting on Cal Berkeley
• Majoring in French

Five things I wish other people hadn’t done

• My mother: smoking herself into the grave
• My father: bringing us to Arizona
• My son: taking up smoking
• My father: disinheriting me
• My fellow Americans: voting for George Bush and his cronies

Five things I could have done better

• Focused on a real career
• Been a better mother
• Been a better daughter
• Been a better wife
• Taken control of my life sooner

Five characteristics I would be better without

• Preference for solitude
• Habit of taking the path of least resistance
• Laziness
• Self-indulgence
• Insecurity

Five characteristics that redound to my benefit (there must be somethinggood here)

• Self-discipline
• Writing skills
• Literacy
• Some degree of intelligence
• Ability to be self-starting

Five small things that make life better

• The company of dogs
• The company of friends
• My son in a positive mood
• A lovely morning
• Flowers

Five things that scare the sh*t out of me

• Old age
• The U.S. economy and the decline of America
• The state of health care in America
• The ascendancy of the right wing and the injection of religion into secular politics
• Climate change

Five things we could have more of

• Swimming in the pool
• Walking in the desert
• Friends
• Wine
• Good food

Five things I could do without

• Greed
• Morons
• Ambient noise
• Work
• Insomnia!