Generated by All in One SEO v4.9.10, this is an llms.txt file, used by LLMs to index the site. # Funny about Money The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. ―Edmund Burke ## Posts - [Roarrr! Not to say "Question Mark?"](https://funny-about-money.com/roarrr-not-to-say-question-mark/) - Gerardo's amazing crew of yard dudes showed up as I was in the middle of scribbling this post. And somehow in the course of chatting with him, I contrived to lose the entire draft. Wonnerful. How DO those guys manage to do their job in this ungodly climate? As we scribble, the sky is overcast and the - [Here in the Hubs of Hades...](https://funny-about-money.com/here-in-the-hubs-of-hades/) - Actually, it's hotter than the hubs out there just now. At 10 in the morning it's 101º in what should be the shade of the back porch. But there's no shade: the sky is overcast. So everything is sorta...gray. Steamy gray. Truth to tell, I like a gray day...if it's in San Francisco. Hereabouts: not so much. - [FOUND IT! But.....](https://funny-about-money.com/found-it-but/) - So yesterday I was bellyaching because I couldn't find my gas grill's outdoor cover -- not a cheap item. Figured one of the gerjillion workmen had made off with it. Nope. That was ungracious of me! Found it. But...but... The reason it seemed to be disappeared is that some idiot stashed it away, after he - [Why?](https://funny-about-money.com/why-6/) - Why do people steal things out of people's yards? Just discovered that someone made off with the full-force plastic/fabric cover for my gas barbecue. "Just discovered" because it's going to rain tonight, for the first time in Gawd Only Knows how long. Goddammit. So that makes the first time in G.O.K. how long since I've - [Hotter Than the Hubs...](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-the-hubs-19/) - 7:30 p.m.: 100 degrees in the shade of the back porch, with high overcast. Make that just "on the back porch," since we're past the time of shade. We're comin' on to dusk: and it is, yes, one. hundred. degrees out there. Ugh. And tell me again: WHY do we persist in living here????? - [Red-Hot or Nailed Down....](https://funny-about-money.com/red-hot-or-nailed-down-2/) - That was what my parents used to say about the locals where we lived in Saudi Arabia, on the shore of the Persian Gulf: "If it's not red-hot or nailed down, they'll steal it." Uh huh. Well, now you can say that about the Yankee set. Honest to gawd. ANYTHING that you carelessly set down - [Glub!](https://funny-about-money.com/glub-6/) - Hot! AND muggy. What a gummy, awful day! Pushing 90 degrees at 7:15 a.m., in 39% humidity. Oh! There's pool dude...speakin' of jobs you're glad you don't have! How he manages to clean pool after pool after pool in this hot, sticky weather, I can't even imagine. Just cleaning my own pool is almost more - [RELIEVED...](https://funny-about-money.com/relieved/) - ...of running around in the sun! Whew!!! WonderAccountant and I planned to get together this afternoon: meeting at her place. This would entail my having to walk over there...through 108-degree heat, according to the back porch thermometer. Well. Ruby the Corgi and I have already traipsed through the heat, thankyouverymuch, and I can tellya: assuredly - [Balmy Arizona Day!](https://funny-about-money.com/balmy-arizona-day/) - Yeah: if you think this place is livable, you ARE balmy! :-D No kidding: as we scribble -- at quarter to 11 in the morning -- the back porch thermometer reads 111 degrees. Sheeee-ut!!!!! This place is almost as hellish as Saudi Arabia...a venue whose weather defined Hell. Just back from a stroll around the - [Weirdness of Widespread Ignorance](https://funny-about-money.com/weirdness-of-widespread-ignorance/) - {Chortle!} After I went on and on yesterday about the silliness of my own stupidity, now it's my turn to bellyache about others. To wit: Have you noticed that people no longer can follow directions that include words like "north," "south," "east," and "west"? No kidding. Many, if not most, people do not know which - [Argh! What next, Lord?](https://funny-about-money.com/argh-what-next-lord/) - Why does everything crash on your head at once? Ever notice that? Let one thing go wrong, and EVERYTHING ELSE goes haywire! Just now I'm trying to cook a piece of salmon on the grill...and not having much luck. Appears the gas burners are on the fritz. They seem to be burning..but...on "low as low - [What is WITH people??????](https://funny-about-money.com/what-is-with-people/) - G*ddammit! I just went out in back to tidy things up, and there I discover some moron has dragged my gas barbecue OUT INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE GRAVEL-COVERED YARD and effin' LEFT IT THERE! It's out of reach of the gas canister, so I can't even turn it on to grill a piece of - ["Hotter Than a By-Gawd!"](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-a-by-gawd/) - LOL! That was one of my father's favorite turns of phrase: Hotter than a by-gawd Hotter than a two-dollar cookstove Hotter than a three-dollar pistol Hot enough to fry eggs on the sidewalk On and on.... He was a good Texas boy, a dyed-in-the-wool Southerner, and he had a suitcase full of little sayings like - [Another Swampy-Dampy Day](https://funny-about-money.com/another-swampy-dampy-day/) - Ughghh!!!!! It is SO SWAMPY out there that by the time the Dawg and I got back from the morning neighborhood stroll, I was just drenched in sweat and dew. What a horrid morning! Now the question remains: what to do with the rest of the day? Not much, I'm afraid. My son has purloined my car. - [Soggy Doggy Day!](https://funny-about-money.com/soggy-doggy-day-10/) - Yuch!!! It is SO HOT and SO WET out there, it feels like horrible Saudi Arabia, where we lived on the shore of the Persian Gulf. Wet, hot, and miserable. To gild that soggy lily, war planes are busily roaring in and out of Luke Air Force Base. Nevvermind that they're 20 miles to the - [Egad!! No Doggy-Walks Here...](https://funny-about-money.com/egad-no-doggy-walks-here/) - Get this! Wunderground says today's high is supposed to be 111 degrees. You saw that right: a hundred and eleven degrees! Where does this damn place think it is? Saudi Arabia? As we scribble, the back-porch thermometer reads 110 degrees...in the shade of the north-facing back porch. A covered porch. A ventilated covered porch... Holeee sheee-ut! We - [Hotter than the HUBS!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-the-hubs-18/) - ...of Hades, of your race-car wheels, of your stove burner! HOLEE maquerel, is it hot out back. Fox 10 News sez it's 110; Wunderground claims a mere 107 degrees. You understand: it's 8:15 at night and DARK out there. Yeah: 110 degrees by the dark of night... Wrung the little dog out as fast as she - [Movin' On! Or is that STAGGERING On?](https://funny-about-money.com/movin-on-or-is-that-staggering-on/) - LOL! So the Human took it into its pea-brained head to walk down to the nearby supermarket to pick up some stuff for itself and for the dawg. That was what we call "Not Too Bright." For godsake, as we scribble, the thermometer mounted in the deep, dark shade of the back porch reads 110 - [And Now...WTF????](https://funny-about-money.com/and-now-wtf/) - Yesterday was a true, certifiable Day from Hell. Seriously...by bed-time, I knew that if I weren't trapped here by owning the damn house outright and by the piddling retirement income and by the craving to live vaguely near my son, I would be SOOOO OUTTA PHOENIX! But now...we have this morning. WTF????? The weather is - [WHY do people live here???](https://funny-about-money.com/why-do-people-live-here/) - 7:38 p.m. The sun has gone down. And it's 105 degrees under the ventilated shade structure on the back porch. Central Arizona. Maricopa County. What a HELLISH place to live! Why do people settle here, anyway? I got here because my parents dragged me here, when my father attempted to retire. (Failed, thanks to a major - [Report from the Hubs of Hades](https://funny-about-money.com/report-from-the-hubs-of-hades-8/) - Hot, humid, NASTY day. Back-porch thermometer says it's only 98 degrees out there. (This: at sunrise!) Add another 10 to that, and you get a feel for this morning's balmy temperature. The air outside is so wet it almost feels like Arabia....and where we lived was right on the (icky, sticky) shore of the Persian - [How Things Work Out](https://funny-about-money.com/how-things-work-out/) - Stumbling around through the heat this afternoon -- without a car now, I have to walk to every local destination -- I happened to think back on my parents, and on how much they loathed and detested my college boyfriend. This guy was more than a boyfriend. We seriously intended to marry. And our relationship - [Disaster of the Day...](https://funny-about-money.com/disaster-of-the-day/) - Well: make that mini-disaster of the day. And now that my excellent son has addressed matters, it's the non-disaster of the day. The Old Bat turned the garden hose on in the swimming pool, by way of bringing the water level up to normal. Then she wandered off and forgot about it. Right. When I remembered, the water was - [Gone Good Ole Days](https://funny-about-money.com/gone-good-ole-days/) - You know you're too old when the "Good Old Days" appear, in your mind, to be infinitely better than the BS we encounter nowadays. Example at hand: Today my son is dragging me out to the Mayo Clinic for some sort of annoying consultation with one of their quacks. Nothing was said to me about - [Soggy Doggy Day!](https://funny-about-money.com/soggy-doggy-day-9/) - Echhh, is what I say to that! Ruby and I foolishly went out for the routine morning doggy-walk, under a sky padded with thick, high gray clouds. "Thick"? The air itself is thick! And no: I exaggerate not. It actually feels like you're breathing something that's not quite air and not quite water. Ewww! So - [July 4 Moron Frolics...Jeeez!](https://funny-about-money.com/july-4-moron-frolics-jeeez/) - The evening has barely begun -- it's only 8:35 p.m. -- and of course, it being the Fourth of July, every moron within earshot is out there with their bang-bangs. LOL! It sounds like half the city is exploding... BOOM! bam BAM BAM bang bang whiiirrrrr (helicopter buzzes over) BAM! boomp boomp boom BANG.... On and on - [July 4? Really? And...then what?](https://funny-about-money.com/july-4-really-and-then-what/) - Here we are on our nation's birthday. Strolled through the neighborhood, basically to pass the time and to eyeball the neighbors' homes. And...well... It's overcast and gray and wet out there. Not raining...yet. But I reckon it will be, soon enough. So much for watching the fireworks, eh? Usually, a bunch of them are visible - [Humdidity!](https://funny-about-money.com/humdidity/) - Just back from a walk around the immediate neighborhood: really, not more than five or six blocks, all told. It is SO HOT out there -- under cloudy gray skies -- that by the time I got back to the Funny Farm, I was just drenched in sweat. Well...sweat or humidity. It's VERY wet out there - [Soggy Doggy July 4!](https://funny-about-money.com/soggy-doggy-july-4/) - Wow! Is it ever hot and wet out there! The Hound and the Human just got back from cirucmnavigating the park. :-D All sorts of July 4 shenanigans are going on over there. WHAT a hoot! Hot and overcast: Thermometer reads in the 90s...under the shade of the back porch! Patchy gray clouds loom overhead. To the east: high, - [Report from the Hubs of Hades](https://funny-about-money.com/report-from-the-hubs-of-hades-7/) - Yow!! Is it ever HOT out there!!! Dawdled half the day away and so didn't get out for the usual morning walk. Stupidly, I figured I'd go on out along about 3:00 p.m. Bad idea. Extraordinarily bad idea. As we scribble, it's a mere 103 degrees out there, in full sun. :-D Might' crisp, eh??? - [There's Hope! (?) !](https://funny-about-money.com/theres-hope/) - Apparently Amazon is about to hugely expand its grocery delivery service. If that's so -- speaking of "huge" --it would solve a vast problem for me. My son has purloined my car, believing that old bats shouldn't be allowed to drive. Never mind that I've never been in a serious accident. Never mind that I haven't even - [One of Those Days, Continued](https://funny-about-money.com/one-of-those-days-continued-2/) - Magically, the toilet has started working properly. Yep: outta the blue. This was shortly after I'd called WonderAccountant to get the number of the excellent plumber we share. The telephone started working, too. Why????? So I had to phone her back and call off THAT excursion. She must think I'm even crazier than I am. - [Doggy Day from Hell](https://funny-about-money.com/doggy-day-from-hell/) - Migawd! I had SUCH a sh!tf!t of frustration this morning that now Ruby the Corgi will not come out from underneath the toilet, where she's hiding. That's after I stalked out of the house and hiked all the way around the park and back, by way of unwinding. She's been under there nigh unto an hour, - [notes](https://funny-about-money.com/notes/) - In retrospect, I resent people -- esp my parents and teachers -- for maneuvering me into positions that I wouldn't have selected if I'd understood them better and that now I can't get out of. Positions that affected my entire adult life. If I had understood that as a National Honor Society student I could - [Soggy Doggy Day](https://funny-about-money.com/soggy-doggy-day-8/) - 7:40 in the morning: Under a clear sky, the air is hot, wet, and soggy. Ruby and I just shot in the front door, ahead of the babysitter by 20 minutes. Yeah: that's right: 20 minutes of peace and quiet, into which to jam one's breakfast and coffee. The Human stepped into a riot of - [Here We Go Again...](https://funny-about-money.com/here-we-go-again-4/) - Ugh! Today is the 30th, and the calendar says one "Janie" is supposed to surface at 8:00 a.m. -- that's 20 minutes from now -- and hang around until 4:00 p.m. Janie is a babysitter. A woman my good son has hired to watch over senile little me, drive me to grocery stores, and whatnot. - [Swimming through the Doggy-Walk](https://funny-about-money.com/swimming-through-the-doggy-walk/) - Ugh! Here we are in another swampy, hot, sticky Arizona morning. WHAT an ugly day. Most folks, I suppose, would not consider clear skies and a bright morning sun to be "ugly." But when you're lookin' at 22 percent humidity...ech! That's almost 1/4 of the air you breathe in. Glub! This is the kind of day when - [God Bless Great Neighbors!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/god-bless-great-neighbors/) - Yeah: I mean that literally. We have THE best neighbors on this street: the nicest people, and those people are willing to help a brain-boggled old lady. Thanks to these fine folks, our brand-new vacuum cleaner is now functional (noooo..it did NOT work right out of the box...you expected a frog?). Haven't tried to clean - [Hotter Than the Hubs....Still....](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-the-hubs-still/) - 6:00 p.m. and the thermometer reads 101 degrees: in the shade of the covered back porch. Ugh! What a garden spot we live in! What was that I was scribbling, a day or two ago, about wishing I could be living back in San Francisco? Where I belong.... And...what kind of worm could possibly have crawled - [Too Hot for Little Dogs!](https://funny-about-money.com/too-hot-for-little-dogs/) - {chortle!} So much for any proposed scam to take Ruby into the Sprouts or the Albertson's with me, disguised as a "service dog." Without exaggeration, it is hotter than the hubs of Hades out there. Come ten in the morning, I take it into my fuzzy little head to make a pointless little circumnavigation of - [DoggieScam?](https://funny-about-money.com/doggiescam/) - Good grief! Did you know you can buy a "service dog" vest from freakin' Amazon??? I had no idea: imagined you had to get them through your doctor or through some agency for the disabled. Jeez. How bizarre. But bizarre or no... One of these things would allow me to take Ruby into a local - [Garden Spot!](https://funny-about-money.com/garden-spot-2/) - NINETY DEGREES IN THE SHADE at 7:40 in the morning! What a garden spot! Just back from galloping around the neighborhood behind the dog. She loves it. For moi? Well, I could do without it. But maybe not. The Human needs its exercise. Preferably, though, in a slightly more temperate zone. - [Still Frolicking in the Hubs](https://funny-about-money.com/still-frolicking-in-the-hubs/) - Last time we were in these parts, Funny remarked that the weather was hotter than the hubs of Hades. No kidding.... Well, we're still lurking in that locale. Not yet 8:00 in the morning, and we have 93 degrees, with 21 percent humidity under "partly cloudy" skies. No rain in the forecast. Dog and Human, - [Hotter than the Hubs...again...](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-the-hubs-again-5/) - LOL! Maybe what's going on here is that we ARE the hubs???!? It's 110 degrees on the back porch....and overcast! Can you imagine that? A hundred and ten degrees, and the sky wants to dump rain on us. Boiling rain, presumably... Just pulled lunch/dinner off the grill: Lovely salmon and fine accompaniments. Now we have - [Hotter than...](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than/) - HOLEE doggerel! It literally is hotter than the Hubs of Hades outside. Ruby and I set out, along about 20 or 30 minutes ago, to circumnavigate the dawg's beloved neighborhood park. Mistake! We didn't even get all the way over to the park, it's soooo hot out there. And humid, we might add: feels like hideous Saudi Arabia - [Soggy Doggy Day](https://funny-about-money.com/soggy-doggy-day-7/) - Echhhh! Seven a.m. on a June Wednesday, here in lovely uptown Phoenix. WHAT A SWAMP out there. Just back from walking the dog around the 'Hood. For a change, not too many "ohhhh, they just wannna pwa-a-ay!" morons came our way, so I didn't have to drag Ruby out of any fights. That was refreshing. - [Escape from Saudi Arabia!](https://funny-about-money.com/escape-from-saudi-arabia/) - Did Angie Pangia and her doctor boyfriend tell my father that I had a mental problem and so needed to be removed from Saudi Arabia (where we had lived for the prior nine years) and brought back to the States to go to school? More to the point: did they tell him my mother had - ["Another Lovely Day in Arizona...](https://funny-about-money.com/another-lovely-day-in-arizona-2/) - "Leave us all enjoy it..." That was the by-word of a prominent radio announcer who worked here in lovely uptown Arizona for years. Ugh. With lovely days like this, who needs...arsenic, eh? Hot, wet...soggy. As we scribble -- come 8:30 at night -- it is 103 degrees out there. The AC pounds away and pounds - [Hotter Than the Hubs...](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-the-hubs-17/) - Eight p.m. and it's A HUNDRED DEGREES in the backyard! Actually, Google claims it's 104 out there. And now my system is crashing, bollixing up any attempt to comment on that fine state of affairs. And so...awaaayyyy! Into the air-conditioning! Let's just hope the system keeps running.... - [Report from the Hub of Hades](https://funny-about-money.com/report-from-the-hub-of-hades/) - 6:40 a.m. Dear Gawd, it's HOT out there, and hideously WET. Just back from the morning DoggyWalk. The weather is so nasty out there that I am literally DRIPPING wet. No, it's not raining. Nary a cloud in sight. Just hideous, Saudi Arabia-style humidity, so thick you're practically walking through water. Horrible, horrible weather. And purely NOT - [...and Again... Still Hotter than Hades!](https://funny-about-money.com/and-again-still-hotter-than-hades/) - Quickie circumnavigation of the block, by way of running off some neurotic frustration. Come 2:30 in the afternoon, the pavement out there is WAY too hot for Ruby the Corgi's little feet. So, to her disgust, she got left home while her human sweltered its way down the road. HOLEE mackerel, it's hot out there! - [Hotter Than the Hubs!](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-the-hubs-16/) - Seriously: It must be a jillion degrees in the shade out there in the back yard. Okay, okay: hold the melodrama. Let's see what Wunderground says the temp really is: Brrrrr! A chilly 103 degrees in the shade! Who'd've thunk it was that crisp out there? Predicted high for today: 105 degrees. Tomorrow: 107. Lovely. - [Jumping on the Wagon!](https://funny-about-money.com/jumping-on-the-wagon/) - Once again, as happens occasionally here at the Funny Farm, I take it into my head that I need to abjure alcohol. Once and for all. Onto the wagon, and don't jump off! :-D Seriously: my mother's family were tee-totalers (far from what my parents were!). But come the next generation, she and my father - [Cleaning Lady/Babysitter???](https://funny-about-money.com/cleaning-lady-babysitter/) - Quarter to two in the afternoon, and no visitation from the honored cleaning lady: she who (so I was led to believe) has been hired to babysit me on the side. Her car is still in front of the WonderAccountants' place, straight across the street. And you know what that means, right? The poor woman - [Morning in Lovely(?) Arizona](https://funny-about-money.com/morning-in-lovely-arizona-2/) - The Corgi is out back, sniffing every corner of the yard -- her daily task, right? The Human loafs, feet on the hassock, computer on the lap. All is quiet...for the nonce. Not looking forward to this morning, though. M'Hijito has hired a babysitter to come in and supervise me, forgodsake. Today, as I understand - [Eine Kleine Paranoia...](https://funny-about-money.com/eine-kleine-paranoia/) - For reasons unknown, the possibility of a major earthquake in Southern California -- powerful enough to affect lovely Arizona -- has been lingering in my feeble little mind for the past couple of days. No: I'm not clairvoyant. :-D So don't worry about any magical prediction. Some parties have been gnashing teeth about a possible - [Hotter & Hotter](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-hotter/) - Another balmy day in Arizona: "only" 111 degrees in the shade of the back porch. Got that right: a hundred and eleven in the shade. Ain't goin' out into the sunlight...wouldn't matter, because I don't have a portable thermometer. Greater horrors await, though. Horrifically, indeed: the beloved WonderAccountants have just announced that they're retiring! Of all the - ["Another Beautiful Day in Arizona"](https://funny-about-money.com/another-beautiful-day-in-arizona-6/) - Okay, it's "only" 96 degrees out there, at 8 o'clock in the morning. So saith Wunderground. Whatever: it's HOT and it's MUGGY. Ruby and I just staggered in from an hour's walk...one of those excursions that leaves you wondering why on earth anyone would ever choose to live in this place. Well. No snow in the winter. I - [Hotter Than the Hubs!](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-the-hubs-15/) - 5:20 p.m., Tuesday, January 16 Temperature in the deepest shade of the back porch: 111° Holeeee Maquerel! Just stumbled in the house from (stupidly!) walking around the neighborhood. If the unholy heat weren't bad enough, I've managed to inflict a whole lot of equally dangerous behavior on myself: beer after beer after beer, every goddamn - [Sauna City!](https://funny-about-money.com/sauna-city/) - It is hotter than a two-dollar cookstove outside -- as my father used to say. Feels like Ras Tanura out there. That's Aramco's crummy little company town, perched on the shore of the Persian Gulf, about 40 miles out of Dhahran. Horrible place. Horrible horrible place! Damn glad I don't live there anymore. But sometimes I do - [Hotter Than the Hubs!](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-the-hubs-d/) - No: I kid you not: it really IS hotter than the Hubs of Hades out there on the front sidewalk. Hotter than that on the asphalt pavement. Fortunately, we still have enough of our marbles to stay off the ashphalt! :-D Just back from circumnavigating the neighborhood. Spavined a tendon in an ankle a couple - [GLUBBY Glubby Day](https://funny-about-money.com/glubby-glubby-day/) - Good Gawd! High noon on a mid-June day, and...it's 110 in the shade of the back porch! Today's high was predicted to be a mere 108 degrees, with 38% chance of rain. UNbelievable. The dawg and I shot out of the house at dawn. It was already too late to be walking around out there. - [Exceptionally Yucky Day!](https://funny-about-money.com/exceptionally-yucky-day/) - Yes: I stupidly elected to take the Li'l Dawg for a walk, along about 8:00 a.m. When we say "stupid," when it came to that maneuver, we DO mean "stupid"! Exceptionally unpleasant day. Hot. Humid. The air so thick you could swim through it. About as ugly a morning as you can imagine. No one - [One Li'l Catastrophe After Another](https://funny-about-money.com/one-lil-catastrophe-after-another/) - Man! When we say it's one of those days, we ain't kiddin'! The latest news to crash on our skulls: The Wonder-Accountants are freakin' RETIRING! And for an innumerate old bat like me, that is a freakin' CATASTROPHE. Because...in case you can't imagine, eh?...my son is NOT innumerate. Not at all. Quite to the contrary. - [Yahoo! SAVED!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/yahoo-saved/) - By golly, despite this morning's earlier rumination, I discovered I'm NOT out of coffee after all. Yahoooo!!! That means I don't have to leave the house in this morning's gawdawful humid heat. A whole bag of coffee beans resides in the freezer! And you know what that means: Yeah: LOAFING. It's a perfectly horrible day for walking - [Hotter Than the Hubs...Again](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-the-hubs-again-4/) - Twenty to seven in the morning...and the thermometer reads NINETY DEGREES out there on the back porch. Humidity: 35% Chance of rain: 32% Holleeee shee-ut. It's like living back in (un)lovely Saudi Arabia, on the shore of the sweaty Persian Gulf. Dog and human are just back from a soggy doggy walk. No baby-sitters in - [Zowie! Time & Stress Saved!!](https://funny-about-money.com/zowie-time-stress-saved/) - Wow! Amazon is THE BUSINESS, that's for sure. Just ran out of dog kibble. No car. Temp in the shade of the back porch: 108 degrees. Temp in the full sun, walking along beside an asphalt road: you don't wanna know! Ordered 5 pounds worth. - [Not-Too-Bright Walk!](https://funny-about-money.com/not-too-bright-walk/) - 3:00 p.m. on a June day, here in hottest Phoenix: I stupidly take it into my feeble little brain to go for a stroll around the neighborhood. Some of us, after all, really ARE "not too bright." At least I had the brainpower to leave the little dawg home. The scorching sidewalks would burn her - [Update on Yesterday...](https://funny-about-money.com/update-on-yesterday/) - LOL! It got stupider and stupider. I sweartagawd! So today's proposed old-lady babysitter never showed up. AWWWWWW! What a shame! She probably went to the neighborhood street labeled "Lane." I'm on the street labeled "Way." Josie, the occupant of the "Lane" house, lives alone and dwells in fear. She will NOT open the door to - [ANOTHER insanely hot day!](https://funny-about-money.com/another-insanely-hot-day/) - {chortle!} Yea, verily: some of us have NO measurable IQ points! Just stumbled back in the house from peregrinating around the neighborhood in the noonday heat. Hey! Why not? It's only 105 degrees out there! No IQ, eh? Ohhhhh well. At least I got the desired exercise. Tony the Romanian Landlord caught up with me - [Hotter than the Hubs...](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-the-hubs-14/) - Out the door before 7 this morning. Figured if Ruby and I got an early start, we could get back before the cleaning lady and the babysitter show up. That appears to have been the case. No sign of any visiting women when we stumbled through the thick, wet, hot air to the front door. - [Is This Working?](https://funny-about-money.com/is-this-working/) - Okay.... Looks like the computer just let me quit Firefox and then log back in. Let's see if this little mini-post survives "Save Draft" and "Publish".... - [Yipes!!!!! Hotter than the Hubs...](https://funny-about-money.com/yipes-hotter-than-the-hubs/) - Yesh. Hotter for sure than the Hubs of Hades. Just now -- coming on to late in the afternoon -- it's A HUNDRED AND NINE DEGREES in the deepest shade of the north-facing back patio. Augh, I say to that. AUGHHH! Sooo...Ruby and I are trapped in the house, at least until the sun goes down. - [Another Icky Day Comin' Up the Pike....](https://funny-about-money.com/another-icky-day-comin-up-the-pike/) - LITERALLY icky: Just got back from a humid walk with Ruby the Corgi. It is so hot and so wet out there that literally, the air feels sticky. Feels like Saudi Arabia: a hot and wet outpost of Hell. Now some woman that my son hired to babysit me is supposed to show up pretty soon. Goodie gumdrops! Not to - [Hotter than the Hubs...](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-the-hubs-13/) - Ninety-eight degrees in the deep shade of the back porch, according to the thermometer out there. Wunderground says it's 97, with a predicted high of 103. Ohhhhkay....whatEVER: just now it's hotter than the proverbial Hubs of Hades. Google puts the humidity at 12 percent. Hm. Well. Yeah. I could prob'ly believe that. It is, yes, - [Coulda-Shoulda-Woulda...](https://funny-about-money.com/coulda-shoulda-woulda-3/) - Stumbling around the 'Hood through a superheated afternoon exercise walk, I happened to think of a long-ago near-miss in the Department of Real Estate. Videlicet: years ago -- yea verily, a couple of decades ago -- I very nearly bought a house in a distant suburban development called Fountain Hills. It's a pleasantly ritzy-titzy town - [Real Estate Awe](https://funny-about-money.com/real-estate-awe/) - Wanna see something that'll drop your jaw? Take a look at this mansion... The place is in Fountain Hills, an upscale tract on the northeast side of Scottsdale. WHAT A WRECK! And they want four hundred grand for it! Hey. Fountain Hills is real tony and all that...and yeah, you could walk to the Mayo Clinic from - [Palm Tree Heebie Jeebies](https://funny-about-money.com/palm-tree-heebie-jeebies/) - Should I have those trees taken out? The WonderAccountants -- my neighbors straight across the street -- removed the palm trees that were growing along the edges of their pool. And they surely seemed not to regret it...yea, verily, Mr. W.A. was very pleased. Whose idea was it, in the first place, to plant PALM - [Gorgeous morning](https://funny-about-money.com/gorgeous-morning-2/) - It's already 8:30 and the day is brain-banging GORGEOUS. Beautiful clear skies. Balmy temps. Dawg yapping at the passers-by. What more could anyone want, eh? Well...hmmmm... Absence of pain, for one thing. Whatever went wrong with my hip is still wrong. Hurts like the dickens to get out of a chair, to say nothing of - [Good(?) Morning, America!](https://funny-about-money.com/good-morning-america-5/) - NINETY-FIVE DEGREES in the shade of the back porch, at 7:00 in the morning! Hoooleeeee shee-ut! How hot IS it supposed to get today? Hmmm.... Saith Wunderground: 108 degrees, with 23% humidity. Dog and Human are just back from our morning stroll -- around the park and through the hood, the air so thick you - [Out the Door Again....](https://funny-about-money.com/out-the-door-again/) - ...And into the swampy morning. Ugh!!!! Is it ever HOT and WET and STICKY out there! But we managed to make a circumambulation of the garden spot that is our neighborhood. Walked by SDXB's old house. The city GAVE it to a woman who was dispossessed of her own home by construction of an airport - [Thank Goodness for Amazon!](https://funny-about-money.com/thank-goodness-for-amazon/) - Saudi-style weather: Hot, wet, sticky. Eighty-four degrees right now, at 7:20 in the morning: 105 predicted. Out the door with the corgi, at dawn's early light. Everyone else has the same idea: we have to circumvent the park to evade the potential dog fights. Cleaning lady on her way this morning. That.... wait wait wait! - [Lunch at the 'Que...](https://funny-about-money.com/lunch-at-the-que/) - Got a steak and an ear of corn on the grill. But.. WTF? They don't seem to be cooking! It is horrifically hot out there in the backyard. The meat and corn oughta cook by themselves: just set ém out on the back table, eh? But they're hardly browning...surely not charring, that's for sure! Hm. The grill - [Testing](https://funny-about-money.com/testing-3/) - Is FaM working? Will this post go online? Testing! - [Back in the Hubs...](https://funny-about-money.com/back-in-the-hubs/) - What was that I was mumbling yesterday, about the Hubs of Hades? HOLEEE doggerel! It's not even 10 a.m. this morning, and it's so hot out there you can hardly breathe. Ruby and I: just back from circumambulating the park. For a change, not many fellow morons were out there, so most of the time - [Hotter'n the Hubs!](https://funny-about-money.com/hottern-the-hubs-2/) - Wunderground claims the temperature here in lovely uptown Phoenix is a balmy 93 degrees. Hah! They must be CRAZY! The thermometer on the back porch reads HOT HOT HOT! Hmmm...actually, it says 93 degrees. Yep. Right there in the shade. Barely on the high side of warm.... Must be a little humid today. Hmmmm...12 percent. That's - [Good Morning, Dogmerica!](https://funny-about-money.com/good-morning-dogmerica-2/) - WHY, oh why are people SOOOO STUPID? Just back from the morning (almost typed "moroning"....talk about your Freudian slips!) hike around the park. That's a mile or so of trotting along behind a very bossy corgi, dodging fellow dog-slaves around a lovely, grassy expanse. Well. It would be lovely if my fellow humans could manage to cling - [GORGEOUS Evening!](https://funny-about-money.com/gorgeous-evening-2/) - Oh, my! WHAT a beautiful evening! Just got back from circumnavigating the 'Hood: for the first time in living memory, without the dog dragging me around. Lovely! Absolutely LOVELY. The air is soft and delicate. No heat. No cold, either. No one else was around, so the way was quiet and peaceful, just as gentle as - ["SIZZLE!"](https://funny-about-money.com/sizzle/) - You think I jest? Nay, verily: it is SIZZLING hot out there, on the streets, in the park, in the grassy yards. Hoooleee maquerel! Just staggered back in the house. Fortunately, I had enough presence of mind to NOT take the dawg with me when I left the Funny Farm a couple of hours ago. - [Survived to See Another Day](https://funny-about-money.com/survived-to-see-another-day/) - Incredibly enough, dear Janie's ministrations did NOT wreck the vacuum cleaner. Or if they did, the effects are yet to be seen. The thing seems to be working okay. At least for a few quick swipes. One of the challenges that greets you in old age is that younger adults treat you like you were - [Another Gorgeous Day in Central Arizona...](https://funny-about-money.com/another-gorgeous-day-in-central-arizona/) - ...and it IS gorgeous! My goodness, what a beautiful morning...high, lacy clouds, lovely sunrise, balmy temperature...gosh! Ruby the Corgi and I have already circumnavigated the 'Hood. And my, what a beautiful day in a beautiful space. We are getting Olde, alas, and so many of the Regulars whom we visited and loved are long gone. - [Arrrgh!!!! I hate computers!!!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/arrrgh-i-hate-computers/) - Round and round and round and ROUND Robin Hood's Barn trying to get back online and back into Funny about Money. WHAT an AGGRAVATING time suck!!!!!!! Dammit! Now I'm so frustrated and so upset, I've forgotten what I was gonna write about!! LOL! I hate computers. :-D Ohhh well.... On the subject of nothing much: Ruby - [The Gentrification of the 'Hood](https://funny-about-money.com/the-gentrification-of-the-hood/) - Well... Truth to tell, the 'Hood started out gentrified. This has always been an upper-middle-class urban neighborhood. But of late? HOLEE maquerel! Young people are buying up our 1950s and '60's ranch houses and turning them into freaking palaces. Give this trend another ten years, and real estate here is gonna be not just through the - [Another Day, Another Nightmare y-Cumin' In](https://funny-about-money.com/another-day-another-nightmare-y-cumin-in/) - Ugh! Here we go again! Another noxious day in lovely uptown Phoenix. Just what I need, eh? Today, someone named "Janie" is supposed to show up here. Who she is and what she's primed to do: those details escape me. I assume she's a babysitter. Just what I need: another nosey nuisance in my face - [Let Us Try Again...](https://funny-about-money.com/let-us-try-again/) - So...ahem! What happens if we post another test entry? Or...what the hell: a WHOLE, REAL entry for Funny about Money??? Okay: testing, testing! **** Today we're enjoying another Day from Hell. My poor son is so frustrated with me and so mad at me that he can barely manage to be civil. Yea verily, at times - [Movin' On...](https://funny-about-money.com/movin-on/) - As we last contemplated in the most recent post: Best to just keep chuggin'away and hope Funny -- or my computer -- will stay online. For...oh, my! It is SO ungodly hot outside And without a car, getting this contraption to the repair shop is...well...quite the little challenge. Right now the laptop is running. Seems - [Another new test post](https://funny-about-money.com/another-new-test-post/) - Hmmmm.... So the last effort went online smoothly...I think. At least, it seems to have done so. If anything has crashed, I'm not sure WHAT has crashed: Whether it's my website, whether it's my computer, whether it's my online connection, or...what???? Need to find a tech who can figure this stuff out...and without a car...hevvin help us!! - [Another test post](https://funny-about-money.com/another-test-post/) - Fun, ain't it? Ever entertaining. Looks like the last attempt at a post went up OK. But...am not sure. Let's see if this one works. 1234567890 - [Trying again....](https://funny-about-money.com/trying-again-2/) - Hmmm.... It doesn't look like Funny has COMPLETELY crashed...but something is direly wrong. God. It's over 100 degrees outside. My son has kiped my car. It's a six- or eight-block walk to the nearest computer store. How on EARTH am I going to get this system working again????? - [Testing](https://funny-about-money.com/testing-2/) - May 25, 2:05 p.m. Have I crashed Funny about Money?? - [Hotter Than the Hubs...](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-the-hubs-12/) - Ayup! It's mighty balmy out there...if you take "balmy" to mean "crazy." Wunderground claims the outside temp is a mere 93 degrees, here at 11:23 in the morning. Couldn't prove that by me...I'd have put it closer to 100. Maybe even over 100, come to think of it. Google's weather page puts the humidity at - [TIRED of Stupid!](https://funny-about-money.com/tired-of-stupid-2/) - Just back in the house from the early a.m. doggy-walk. Trouble with Doggy-Walk is that every moron on the planet is out there on the sidewalks walking their doggies. And NO AMOUNT of repeating my dog doesn't want to "pway" with your dog; my dog wants to eviscerate your dog will persuade the idiots to keep their damn dogs - [Fire Central!](https://funny-about-money.com/fire-central/) - Gosh...am I glad we're not still in Southern California. That's where I was born, yea verily. Though I grew up overseas -- in Saudi Arabia -- when my father retired, we moved back to the States, where we ended up in Long Beach, part of the vast L.A. sprawl. Never cared for Southern California, myself. - [How Could She Do That?](https://funny-about-money.com/how-could-she-do-that/) - Y'know... It's one thing to poison yourself. But another thing altogether to poison your child. How on earth could she have done that? Why would she have done such a thing? Year in and year out? My mother smoked. She didn't just smoke a little. She smoked constantly. She was never awake when she didn't - [Goin' All Mormon!](https://funny-about-money.com/goin-all-mormon/) - Actually, in my case: Goin' all Christian Science! :-D The tee-totalers in my family were devout Christian Scientists. My wild-assed parents were not among them. Yea, verily: in Arabia, where we weren't supposed to get ahold of booze at all, my parents learned to make their own. No kidding. In Arabia -- where booze was - [Another Fine Day in Southern California](https://funny-about-money.com/another-fine-day-in-southern-california/) - Holy mackerel! THIS is going on right in the vicinity of where my parents and I lived in Southern California. Really: it's right down the road from where our apartment building stood. My father would have been at sea, of course -- he was an oil tanker captain. But by now my mother and I - [Eeeek-a-Dawg!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/eeeek-a-dawg/) - Ohhhh my goodness! This evening I truly thought the Pool Dude had left the side gate open, that Ruby had found it, and that she'd taken off for Yuma! Couldn't find her when I went to call her in for the night. The back door to the house, in lovely weather like we're having now, - [Pool Dude In! Pool Dude Out!](https://funny-about-money.com/pool-dude-in-pool-dude-out/) - Ohhhhhh my gawd!!! Two hundred bucks (plus, plus, plus) to clean that damn swimming pool and service the equipment. No wonder my neighbor Terri just lets hers sit there dry and rotting away! Actually, repairing the mess after you let the thing go to pot for several years would cost one helluva lot more than - [A Little Escape...Of Sorts](https://funny-about-money.com/a-little-escape-of-sorts/) - {chortle!} Looks like I escaped a nuisance that was slated to descend on me today. :-D Mijito arranged for some woman that he'd hired for babysitting me to show up this morning. It's now mid-afternoon: no sign of the woman. :-D Unkind as it is of me, I'm afraid I'm MIGHTY GLAD she hasn't shown - [Around the Swamp...uhm, Park](https://funny-about-money.com/around-the-swamp-uhm-park/) - Hot, soggy morning. Ruby and I: just back from circumambulating the big, green park that forms the centerpiece of the 'Hood, Handsome young parents roll their adorable toddlers around in strollers. Other old buzzards like me dodder around behind our dogs. Athletic middle-aged types stride or jog past us. Workmen shoveling out the house vacated - [Hot Day in the 'Hood](https://funny-about-money.com/hot-day-in-the-hood/) - Augh! It's just NOT that hot out there! A piddling 92 degrees, at a feeble 7 percent humidity. But I stumbled in the house SOAKING wet, sweltering like I'd come in from the 6th level of Hell. Holy mackerel, is it sticky and hot out there! Just returned from perambulating the neighborhood. True: I might - [Hubs of Hades Central!](https://funny-about-money.com/hubs-of-hades-central-2/) - LOL! Yesterday I reported that it was hotter than the hubs of Hades here. And yea, verily: so it was. BUT...we hadn't seen Hades yet, by yesterday afternoon. Today it's handsomely HOT and stickily HUMID. Ick!!!! Seriously: I'd planned to walk over to one of the three nearby grocery stores and pick up a few food items - [Life in Lovely Uptown Phoe...DUCK!!!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/life-in-lovely-uptown-phoe-duck/) - LOL! Here we go again. JUST got my fanny sat down in a big comfortable overstuffed leather chair when ROOOAAARRR whirrrr whirrr whirrr... Yet another goddam cop helicopter soars over the house. Naturally, Ruby is peregrinating around the backyard, whither she wandered through the open back door. Set aside the coffee. Leap up, race through the kitchen. Call - [ARF! Not to say OUCH!](https://funny-about-money.com/arf-not-to-say-ouch/) - Managed to limp around an old and favorite neighborhood route this evening. Just stumbled back in the house... OUCH!! is what I say to that! Man, did that HURT. The whole damn stroll hurt. With every single step. :o I sprained my left ankle a day ago, and instead of getting better, it seems to be - [Hotter than the Hubs...](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-the-hubs-11/) - Did you know you can work up a lather just by walking around a few blocks in your neighborhood? :-D Well. Yeah: if you live in (un)lovely Arizona, you sure can! It is HOT and WET out there! Lightly overcast: feels almost like Saudi Arabia used to feel. And that, for those who haven't enjoyed - [Weather: Best Described as Awful](https://funny-about-money.com/weather-best-described-as-awful/) - Hot(!) dang, but yes indeed: it's HOT here in the loafing room! :-D Didja know you could work up a sweat by typing? :-D Neither did I!! Wunderground claims it's only 98 degrees out there. Bullsh!t... Hmmmmm... Apparently it's not that far off, though. In the shade of the back porch, my thermometer reads...ayup! Ninety-eight! - [STUNG!](https://funny-about-money.com/stung/) - One of Arizona's fine black widow spiders caught me on the left foot yesterday. CHOMP! Hurt? Lemme tellya hurt! Called St. Joe's hospital. They said to watch and wait. If it flares up a lot, to come in to see a doctor. Yeah. Well. Looks like I'll be paying them a visit, soon enough. Oddly, the neuropathy - [Passworded Out!](https://funny-about-money.com/passworded-out/) - Gawdlmighty, every freakin' thing you need to do on the Internet now demands a password. And by damn, they all have to be different! No way can I even begin to remember all these things. So they're typed out and taped to the shell of my laptop. Okay, okay: it's not THAT big a deal. Just - [Hotter Than a Two-Dollar Cookstove...](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-a-two-dollar-cookstove-5/) - So in my latest post, there I am raving on about how happy I don't have a laborer's job, flinging myself and a pile of tools around in the ungodly heat. And...egad! I kid you not: ANY manual-labor job that has to be done outdoors is downright suicidal on an Arizona summer day. One of - [Jobs We're Glad We Don't Have!](https://funny-about-money.com/jobs-were-glad-we-dont-have-3/) - Egad!!!!! It's a chilly 100 degrees out there: rather cooler than it feels. As we loaf in the shade, who do we see across the road but a crew of men flinging themselves around in that unholy heat. Actually, they have a flatbed truck and a large hoist, with which they're hauling a whole-house air-conditioning - [Eeeek!](https://funny-about-money.com/eeeek/) - This fire is burning just up the road from our beloved ranch, located up the hill from the town of Wickenburg. Terrifying! It looks like it's still a distance from where our house and barns were located. But...wayyyy too close for comfort. {sigh} So...I guess I'm glad we sold out and fled to the Valley. - [BELAY that Last Post!!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/belay-that-last-post/) - Forgodsake. Look at this morning's FaM Post. Read that, and then say to yourself, with sterling accuracy and common sense, My gawd! The woman has lost every marble she ever had! And THEN some!!!!! My imaginative little discovery, contingent on my son stealing my car out of my garage -- "I don’t need a car to - [Surprise! {Sorta...}](https://funny-about-money.com/surprise-sorta/) - Just got hunkered down with the computer and my toys, all set to waste the afternoon loafing atop the bed, when BING BONG! ohhhhh gawd, what now? CLEANING LADY, that's what's now! Awwww jeez! She just got done at the WonderAccountants' house across the street, and now here she is, all set to shovel out - [The Music of the Morning](https://funny-about-money.com/the-music-of-the-morning/) - Coming on to mid-morning here in the Funny Farm's backyard. And...oh my goodness, what a lovely place, what a lovely symphony! What we have out here in the side yard, where we take our morning dose of caffeine, is BIRDS. Hordes of wondrous birds. Just now, the Bird Theater is dominated by a flock of - [Woo-HOO!! Car-Free in Phoenix!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/woo-hoo-car-free-in-phoenix/) - My good son, thinking he was pulling a fast one on me, has instead done me an ENORMOUS favor. A favor so huge it's almost hard to comprehend. In an effort to bop me about the head and shoulders, he slipped into my garage and STOLE my car. Did I call the cops? No. Well. - [Pant! Gasp!](https://funny-about-money.com/pant-gasp/) - Four-thirty in the afternoon, and it's 103 degrees in the shade of the back porch. Wunderground predicts temps as high as 109. Credible. Highly credible. :-o Yes. It IS seriously hotter than the hubs of Hades out there. Dawg and I are back in the house, after a brief circumnavigation of the neighborhood lane to - [Another Gray Day in Arizona...](https://funny-about-money.com/another-gray-day-in-arizona/) - Leave us all enjoy it! LOL! A Phoenix radio station, extant some years ago, used to have a talk-show announcer who would start the day with his trademark greeting: It's another beautiful day in Arizona! Leave us all enjoy it! This particular illiteracy was apparently some sort of Midwestern dialect. Today is another muggy, damp - [Sole & Separate: Keep It That Way](https://funny-about-money.com/sole-separate-keep-it-that-way/) - Stumbling through the afternoon heat, out and about on the neighborhood streets. Not one of my brighter ideas eh? Man! Speakin' of stupid ideas: as my brain cooked, my mind wandered to my father's ill-fated marriage to the hair-raising Helen: the woman he took up with after my mother died. You wanna talk about mistakes? - [Parboiled in Phoenix...](https://funny-about-money.com/parboiled-in-phoenix/) - Ruby and her human are just back from the neighborhood park. HOT, stuffy, stagnant morning over there...ugh! Hardly a jolly frolic. Oh, well. At least we got a little exercise. Ruby is flopped under the master bathroom toilet: in Canine Estimation, the coolest spot in the house. The Human is parked in front of a - [Report from the Hubs of Hades...](https://funny-about-money.com/report-from-the-hubs-of-hades-6/) - EGAD, but it's hot outside. Actually, it only seems so: Wunderground tells us the current temp is a balmy 95 degrees. Brrrr! Break out the jacket! Actually, 95 isn't all that hot for Arizona. I think it's a little sticky out there, though: but...but...no!!!! Only 4% chance of rain; Wunderground claims we have 6% humidity. - [Fuzzy Gray Day...](https://funny-about-money.com/fuzzy-gray-day/) - High, flat, smooth-looking clouds coat the morning sky. The sun tries to blast its way through the grey blanket, with only half-way luck. Doesn't look like it's gonna rain...but...what the heck, this IS what we have the Internet for, right? Look it up on Wunderground... hmmm.... 80 degrees just now; 97 forecast. (WHAT are they smoking? It's - [Good Dog(gy-less) Walk](https://funny-about-money.com/good-doggy-less-walk/) - In full Nut Case mode, the Human charged out into the afternoon heat, determined to exercise the spavined hip with a nice walk around the neighborhood. :-D Not to say :-0 Quite possibly not the critter's smartest move. Amazingly, I failed to cripple myself. But did just about bake myself! Yea, verily: it's hotter than - [The Morning of the Morons!](https://funny-about-money.com/the-morning-of-the-morons/) - No kidding: Every moron on the planet is out there on the sidewalks with their dog! Come 7:00 in the morning, they all pour out of their houses and prance back and forth around the park. Gawdlmighty, am I tired of stupid! The favorite Idiocy Trick hereabouts is to come bounding up to you and try to - [Reminiscences](https://funny-about-money.com/reminiscences/) - Achey this morning. Not sick: just tired from too much hiking around. Crackpot neighbors are hollering at each other. Shut UP, folks! Waiting for the toast to brown. Thinking....thinking back over my family's life in Berkeley, California. Wishing I were still there. My relatives' little house was right down the road from where the lightrail - [The Family Lore: What a Show!](https://funny-about-money.com/the-family-lore-what-a-show/) - Strolling around the 'Hood with the little dog this afternoon, I chanced to cast my mind back over what my mother told me of her family(???) and upbringing in Upstate New York. That poor child! What a horror show! The tale as we have it is that she was born illegitimately to a rather swift - [Weird, gray day](https://funny-about-money.com/weird-gray-day/) - First week of May and here we are submerged in a steel-gray morning. In Arizona, of all things! Seriously: the sky is a weird, smooth, featureless gray lid. Ruby and I have circumnavigated the'Hood, returned, chowed down...now sit here wondering what to do next. If anything. "What to do next" will probably amount to "go back - [Whew! Hotter than the Hubs!](https://funny-about-money.com/whew-hotter-than-the-hubs/) - Well...no. Maybe not. It's probably NOT hotter than the hubs of Hades out on the lovely streets of north Phoenix. No...it's just hot and humid. Light overcast, 93 degrees, 0% chance of rain, 14% humidity....whatEVER! It surely feels hotter than the hubs, to say nothing of sticky-damp. Not your standard Arizona springtime afternoon, that's for sure. Ruby - [Circumnavigating...](https://funny-about-money.com/circumnavigating/) - Yea verily: another dog-and-human circumnavigation of our lovely North Central Phoenix 'hood. This morning no sh!thead was holding forth in the park -- too early for him, presumably. Whatever: it was a relief to walk around without having obscenities shouted at me. A new (presumably) owner is re-renovating the handsome, classic home on the corner - [Robin Hood's Barn: Round & Round!](https://funny-about-money.com/robin-hoods-barn-round-round/) - Hotter than the hubs outside. Ruby and I have circumnavigated the'Hood...and circumnavigated it...and circumnavigated it...and....WHEW! We're finally back at the Funny Farm. The Human is pooped. Apparently the Dawg is, too: she's flopped on the cool tiles, looking like she figures it's nap-time. Thinking...thinking...thinking of long-lost friends who are SO missed. Really, Your Godship, did - [GET'em!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/getem/) - Boyoboy, would I love to be able to GET them: the bastards who start blitzing me with phone soliciting around 7 a.m., and on into the morning. Phone soliciting should be illegal. Yeah, I know: freedom of speech and all that. Sure... But you can be free of speech at a decent hour of the - [Summertime in Arizona](https://funny-about-money.com/summertime-in-arizona/) - Dog and I just returned from roaming loose around the 'Hood. Ye GAWDS, but it's hot out there!!! Prob'ly not really that hot...Wunderground claims it's only 90 degrees, in fact rather mild for this time of year. Humidity: supposedly only 9%.....couldn't prove that by me! Feels hot and damp outside just now, come 2:30 in - [Colder 'n' a Bigawd](https://funny-about-money.com/colder-n-a-bigawd-2/) - Jeez! It's 42 degrees out there on the back porch. But for some reason it feels a lot colder than that. No doubt because it's overcast -- Arizona doesn't do overcast well. :-D Gray and a little damp. Reckon that's going to moot this morning's doggy-walk. We're already running way, wayyy late -- it's quarter - [Strange Arizona Afternoon](https://funny-about-money.com/strange-arizona-afternoon/) - Saturday. Overcast and gray. Hot and humid. Betcha didn't know Arizona could get humid, eh? Well...yeah, it sure can. Sometimes even damp enough for rain to congeal out of a clear sky! That's not the case just now: it indeed is overcast. Not raining yet, but feels like it sure would like to rain. Ruby and - [Reminiscing...](https://funny-about-money.com/reminiscing/) - Dear GOD, how I hated living in Saudi Arabia! I grew up there, in an American oil camp called Ras Tanura. That means "Cape Brazier"...and they ain't kiddin'! It was a horrible place, hot and humid all summer long (add the spring and fall to that, to get the total length of the season...). Some - [A Minor Miracle(???)](https://funny-about-money.com/a-minor-miracle/) - Wow! This morning the spavined hip hardly hurts at all. Well. Yeah: it does hurt. But NOTHING like it has! So...jeez. Maybe there's hope. Maybe this gawdawful thing will clear up. Soon as I finish swilling a mug full of water (too lazy to fix coffee just this minute), the plan is to take Ruby out for a Doggy-Walk. If - [April 22, Continued!](https://funny-about-money.com/april-22-continued/) - Gerardo the Lawn Dude's crew just shot out the front gate, headed for their next customer. Good lord! Do those guys ever WORK. This house's yard isn't even that huge -- much of it is occupied by the swimming pool, and another third of it by the paved front patio. It still takes them upwards of - [April 22](https://funny-about-money.com/april-22/) - Ungodly racket from the damn air base, way on the FAR side of Sun City. At least a good 29 miles away: roar roar roar roar ROAR. Don't understand how people living out there can tolerate it, even for a few hours in the morning. My mother used to sit on her back patio there - [Hubs of Hades Central....](https://funny-about-money.com/hubs-of-hades-central/) - Well...no. It's not exactly hotter than the Hubs of Hades out there this morning. More like the outer fringes of that garden spot. Dog and Human flew around the park, shortly after dawn: best time of day to be there. Ruby dearly loves the feel of grass under her little doggy feet. The human loves - [Whew!!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/whew/) - BACK ONLINE! We're in one of those idiot moments. You know...when you can't remember your name, to say nothing of your website's password? :-D Yeah: like that. Fortunately, this isn't my first Senior Moment. By way of heading off these events, I kept a record of the site's password...and stored it on MY OTHER computer! - [LOL! Why do people do this???](https://funny-about-money.com/lol-why-do-people-do-this/) - Point in question: Why do cleaning ladies decide how your house is gonna be organized and where the things you use daily are going to be "put away"? Does it not occur to them that you wouldn't have left something somewhere unless you wanted it there? :-D Wonder-Cleaning Lady is among those given to assigning places - [Lazy, Hazy, Gauzy Day of Summer](https://funny-about-money.com/lazy-hazy-gauzy-day-of-summer/) - Well: Day of Spring: it's only April. But in Arizona, the weather will be summerish by most region's standards. What a strange and gorgeous day. Lovely, balmy temperature beneath high, soft gray clouds. Normally, Ruby and I would have taken off for the park by now. But I've spavined a hip, so she and I - [Hotter than the Hubs...](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-the-hubs-10/) - Along about 7:15 in the evening: that's where we are. And where we are is HOT and Humid. Feels like accursed Saudi Arabia used to feel. Well. Almost. No humidity is dripping off the eaves, anyway. That was a frequent occurrence over there. Still, it's hot and sticky out in back. The grill is running - [In-fukkin'-furiating!!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/in-fukkin-furiating/) - Never fails! Sit your tail down in a dinner-table chair, and RINGY-DINGY DINGY!! There's some a$$-hole on the phone trying to hustle you to buy whatever they're peddling. Literally. This happens almost every time I sit down to eat. This morning, they jangled their way into my breakfast...again. grrrrrrrrrr!!!! If I had any sense, I'd - [Another Day, Another...????](https://funny-about-money.com/another-day-another/) - GORGEOUS morning. Sky is clear, if a little fuzzy. Ever-so-slightly fuzzed-up dawn sunlight glows down into the back patio. Temperature is cool and soft.... Just wanna take the dawg and go for a walk. Actually, what I want to do is finish this mugful of coffee and go back to bed. Preternaturally sleepy this morning...for reasons unknown. - [Cox Gouge](https://funny-about-money.com/cox-gouge/) - So I call Cox Communications and ask what the outrageous gouge for $115 is for, since I never make long-distance calls and hardly even make local calls. The moron who answers says, in effect, that's just the regular price. No, it's not. I've never had a $115 gouge for ordinary local phone service. Sheeeee-ut. Now - [Why Didn't I....?](https://funny-about-money.com/why-didnt-i/) - Ever find yourself wondering What the dickens was the matter with me that I didn't {do X, Y, or Z} instead of the stupid thing I did do? Afraid that's not a rare occasion for Funny. Honest to Gawd. I've done and said the stupidest things over the years...when if I'd kept my mouth shut at - [Ohhh yeah: AGAIN!](https://funny-about-money.com/ohhh-yeah-again/) - Cop copter buzzes the neighborhood, as we scribble. Again. Goddammit! What a PLACE this is. Every time you turn around: cop copters, burglars, prowlers, sh!theads... Lordie, but I am tired of lovely uptown Phoenix. Alas, though, as one of the cops remarked after the Great Home Invasion Episode, this sh!t goes on all over the county. I'd - [Idle Essay of the Day](https://funny-about-money.com/idle-essay-of-the-day/) - Hmmm.... Apparently SCREAMING into the phone does indeed hurt a nuisance phone solicitor's ears enough that the word spreads: don't call THAT number. :-D It's almost 11:00 a.m. and I have yet to receive a pestering phone call this morning. Well. Waitaminit: can't guarantee that. The phone has been set to block incoming calls. So...some - [AUGH!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/augh-2/) - Comin' right on to 7:00 p.m. No sign of my excellent son. He'd said he would make a grocery-store run and bring a bunch of stuff by here. {chortle!} Apparently, the "run" turned into an expedition! :-D Seriously: I do hope he's OK. If he's gone to the slum market to the north of the - [G*d-D***ed PHONE](https://funny-about-money.com/gd-ded-phone/) - Y'know, I'm just about at the point where I can imagine not having a phone at all. Not ANY phone! These days a phone -- especially a land line -- is more of a nuisance than a convenience. This morning the f*kin land line jangled for the third time -- BEFORE 9:00 A.M.! -- with a**holes trying - [UNBELIEVABLE Evil!](https://funny-about-money.com/unbelievable-evil/) - We are to believe this emanated from a President of the United States? The guy needs to be impeached. NOW, not later. What incredible evil! One thing's for sure: he doesn't speak for me. The rest of us -- those of us who have any common decency left -- need to get him out of office and - [LOL! and MORE Skeetifying!](https://funny-about-money.com/lol-and-more-skeetifying/) - No kidding! WEIRD noise emanates in through the back window. WHAT THE DICKENS!?? Roll out of the sack, stagger out to the kitchen, throw open the door, listen.... Forgawdsake! It's the neighbor's rooftop wind bonnet, whirring around and around in this evening's rather brisk breeze. Woooooooooooooooooooooooooo Jeez. Ever think of lubricating the damn thing, folks? - [Skeert, Version 2](https://funny-about-money.com/skeert-version-2/) - It's the weirdness of it that's scary. Like...in the minutes since I posted the last weird FaM entry, the wind -- which had been blowing briskly -- has stopped dead. No, that's not an exaggeration. We're talkin' STOPPED. DEAD. Not a breath of air stirring. Whaaaa?????? No kidding: just a few moments it was whirling - [Skeeert!!](https://funny-about-money.com/skeeert/) - LOL! Now what on EARTH is the matter with me!!????? How weird is this? I'm scared! No, nothing's going on, other than high clouds and a brisk wind. No, no burglars seem to be lurking about. No, nothing's wrong with the house -- not that I can tell, anyhow. No, the sky is not falling. No, the dog - [Jobs We're Glad We Don't Have...](https://funny-about-money.com/jobs-were-glad-we-dont-have-2/) - Oh, my goodness!!!!! How DO some folks survive? Just visited by a lovely plumber, employed by the City of Phoenix. The guy is going around working on the water meters, which reside in holes in the ground in our front yards. As we scribble, Wunderground says it's a chilly 85 degrees out there (and yeah: - [Fried and Fricaseed!](https://funny-about-money.com/fried-and-fricaseed/) - Just stumbled in the door from a good hour and & a half of traipsing through THE most gawdawful heat! Temp out there, actually, is just not that hot. Only 94 degrees. But the humidity is at 9 percent. When the temp is at that level, a little humidity feels like a LOT of humidity! Whew! - [Time to Move Along?](https://funny-about-money.com/time-to-move-along-3/) - Things have started to happen....things that suggest it's time to move along. To start with, apparently some employee at the corner Albertson's supermarket took it into their head that I've been shoplifting from that store. Uh..noooo.... Got better things to steal than groceries and cheap junk. How exactly that happened escapes me. Either someone who - [Seven Kinds o' Hell](https://funny-about-money.com/seven-kinds-o-hell/) - Yech!!!!!!! It's lightly over-cast this afternoon and a chilly 85 degrees on the back porch. Mildly humid. And that translates, in Arizona lingo, to hotter than Hell. Seriously: it's a freakin' sauna out there. Just got back from a hike to and around my favorite local stores. And when we say "hike," we ain't kiddin'. - [Get the F*** Off My Phone and....](https://funny-about-money.com/get-the-f-off-my-phone-and/) - Mid-morning. This is the hour when every goddamn phone solicitor residing in the state prison system gets on the phone and heckles you, heckles you, and heckles you some more. GodDAYUM, but I hate that. A couple of things discourage them and cut the onslaught of nuisance calls a bit. One is to simply BLAST - [Bing Bong!!$$!](https://funny-about-money.com/bing-bong-2/) - Yeah: come the middle of the lunch hour (you thought you were gonna be allowed to have something to eat??), BING BONG goes the doorbell. Forgodsake. City water meter guy. He descends on the equipment. Bop bop bang bang fix fiddle fiddle... They're gonna bill me for his services, sez he. Whaddaya bet that'll be - [PC conversation: Outta Here!](https://funny-about-money.com/pc-conversation/) - Forget this! Trying to delete a largely erroneous post...my system, naturally, hangs and won't erase the post. - [Check Your Homeowner's Coverage!](https://funny-about-money.com/check-your-homewners-coverage/) - Hey! Take a look at your homowner's insurance policy and be sure it covers ALL the contingencies. You could be surprised...and that's a surprise you won't enjoy if suddenly you need coverage that ain't there. Just a few weeks ago, one of the desert's occasional spectacularly violent windstorms blasted through Sun City, a seemingly endless - [Wow! What Luck....](https://funny-about-money.com/wow-what-luck/) - Y'know...Amazon is saving my tail. Seriously: without the comprehensive delivery service that outfit provides, I would be in the old-folkerie by now. Without a car -- as you know, my son contrived to have mine taken away from me -- there's no way I could contrive to get groceries, to take the dog to the - [Yipe$ My mother would faint!](https://funny-about-money.com/yipe-my-mother-would-faint/) - Seriously: my mother believed that when gasoline went over $1.00 a gallon, we would have so-o-o-shal-ism! No kidding: she actually said that, back in the day when about 30 cents a gallon was a lot. Today? Its $5 a gallon! Up by $1.35 over the past month. The poor woman would faint dead away if she could - [Hotter Than the Hubs. Again.](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-the-hubs-again-3/) - Thursday afternoon, late in March. This ain't no spring day: as we scribble, Wundground says it's100 degrees in the backyard. Hotter than the Hubs of Hades, and then some! Being stuck carless in Gaza makes a 100-degree day a bit of a problem. Though in theory I could walk to the nearby stores, doing so in the - [Where Are Ya Gonna Go?](https://funny-about-money.com/where-are-ya-gonna-go/) - So the question of the day is...AM I gonna stay here, in my middle-upscale house in moderately affluent North Phoenix? Or am I gonna sell the house and move into some dreary old-folkerie? Once again, this morning some sh!thead vandalized a hummingbird feeder in front. REALLY??? You seriously have nothing to do but sneak onto a - [The Siege of the Front Yard](https://funny-about-money.com/the-siege-of-the-front-yard/) - So the sprinkler is running in the front yard, outside the walled patio. It's the kind of cheap little metal sprinkler that screws on to the end of a hose. So...given our late experiences with our patio thieves, now I need to wait till the watering cycle ends; then RUN out there, unscrew the sprinkler, - [Sprinkler-Mania!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/sprinkler-mania/) - Well...and Old Bat Mania! :-D Don't get old, whatever you do!!!!! In today's episode of senility...ohhhhh, this is tooo good! Hang onto your hat! Today's moment of what planet am i on entailed losing the lawn sprinkler. One of these cute little fellas: These tiny metal numbers are about my faves, because they are quite small. You can fit them just - [Morning Gad-About](https://funny-about-money.com/morning-gad-about/) - Wow! It's wet and hot over at the park, whence the hound and I just returned. Didn't realize it was so hot and sticky out, or we probably wouldn't have started out. Yea verily: once a Dawg has got you into the park, you're not gettin' outta there easily! :-D But whatever the weather, it's always fun to walk - [Huff-ata-puffa...](https://funny-about-money.com/huff-ata-puffa/) - Ten after 7:00 p.m. Trot up the hall and ratchet down the AC thermostat. Hotter than the hubs in here! Actually, it's prob'ly not that hot. I think it's a little humid. Sticky and dark outside. Artificially cooled yet still plenty warm inside. Ruby the Corgi has taken up residence at the foot of the - [Go-o-o-d Morning, America!](https://funny-about-money.com/go-o-o-d-morning-america/) - Just back from a mile-plus peregrination of the 'Hood, dragged along by my furry boss. How can I count the ways I just wanna sit down and swill a cup of coffee? Stumble over to the easy chair. Flop down in it. And... RINGY-DINGY-DINGY! Goddamned phone. A Goddamned phone solicitor on the other end. I - [Jayzuz! STOP THE WORLD!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/jayzuz-stop-the-world/) - Problem is, stopping the world and jumping off prob'ly won't do me much good today.... If I touch it, it goes SPRRROOOOOINNNGGG!!! What a mess. literally: everything I touch is what a mess. Well...the computer is letting me type...sorta. We'll see if it saves to disk, and we'll see if it lets this post go online. - [Hotter Than the Hubs...Again...](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-the-hubs-again-2/) - Don't even wanna KNOW what the temp is out there! Let's see what we can find out from Wunderground, thereby stoking our neurosis without having to get up and walk onto the back porch to look at the thermometer... Ah! A chilly 106 degrees in the shade...at 4:54 p.m. Balmy, eh? Stupidly, I walked down - [Old Age Creepin' Up...](https://funny-about-money.com/old-age-creepin-up/) - LOL! I swear-ta-gawd, the whole "old age" cliché gets closer and closer to reality the more years you spend on this earth. Just up the road from the Funny Farm -- really, within walking distance on a temperate day -- stands an aging shopping mall called Metrocenter. It used to be a hangout for young - [Hotter than the Hubs](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-the-hubs-9/) - Ruby and I must have gotten a later start on the morning's neighborhood stroll than I thought, at the time we set out. Lordie, it's AFTER 10:00 A.M. Not good, on a "spring" (hah!) morning in lovely uptown Phoenix. Holeee doggerel, is it hot out there. Y'know what job I'd most NOT like to have, - [ARF! we say....and GLUB!](https://funny-about-money.com/arf-we-say-and-glub/) - Loafing on the front porch this gorgeous morning...waiting for a workman to confront the day's catastrophe. Boyoboy, am I tired of catastrophes. This stuff makes a box in the sky down on Central Avenue look good! Nice aspect of apartment living: someone else takes care of the damned repairs. This morning the irrigation system sprang a leak. - [UN-Be-LIEV-able!](https://funny-about-money.com/un-be-liev-able/) - Literally unbelievable, as it happens today. This afternoon, in came a hustling piece of snail-mail, trying to get me to Send Money Now and HURRY to sign up for that wondrous product. It looked like BS to me...sort of. But..but...sort of NOT. Actually, it seemed to be trying to say my homeowner's insurance is expiring - [Hummer Vandals](https://funny-about-money.com/hummer-vandals/) - Okay, so I lost patience with replacing or repairing the stolen/damaged hummingbird feeders in front. Took them down. Refilled them, hung them from eaves in the back yard. Behind an eight-foot concrete wall and a set of locked gates. What a shame! You can't even have a stupid little decorative bird feeder hanging from the - [Turned Upside-Down in Space?](https://funny-about-money.com/turned-upside-down-in-space/) - Holeeee maquerel! WHAT is going on here? Just tried to call my son, thinking it's about dinnertime -- around 6:30 in the evening. But... No.... No, folks: it's breakfast-time! It's not 6:30 in the evening. It's 6:30 in the morning!!!! Understandably, he was pretty peeved at being rousted from the sack at this hour. And I'm pretty - [And I stay here...WHY?](https://funny-about-money.com/and-i-stay-here-why/) - Jeez. Lift the dawg onto the bed: Happy Dawg! Turn on the heating pad, get it warmed up. Happy Human! Climb into the sack, apply hot heating pad to spavined hip. Happy spavined hip! Fire up the computer, start to explore the Local Gnus, and....RRRRROOOAAARRRRR!!!!!!!!!! Goddamned cop helicopter blasts over the house. Presumably in pursuit - [Morning Has Broken...](https://funny-about-money.com/morning-has-broken/) - Like the first day... Blackbird has spoken, Like the first bird... Actually, we don't have blackbirds here in the lovely Sonoran desert. We have telephone solicitors. The ba*tards start calling you as dawn cracks. Ringy-dingy-dingy Ringy dingy dingy ringy.... If you have any fantasy about sleeping in, fuhgeddaboudit! We're told phone soliciting is a prison industry. - [Nothin' Better to Do....](https://funny-about-money.com/nothin-better-to-do/) - Jeez. Can you imagine? The locals have got nothin' better to do than to sneak onto my front porch and steal my bird feeders! They did it again this afternoon. What bastards! Welp: after this, the birds will have to repair to the back yard -- behind locked, six-foot-high gates -- to snack on their birdseed - [CAN you believe it?](https://funny-about-money.com/can-you-believe-it/) - Ten in the morning...the dawg and I prepare to hunker down and loaf around the front courtyard half the morning. And...and this is when I discover that not one, not two, but ALL THREE of the hummingbird feeders have been stolen from the south side of the house. Can you imagine? The greedy bastard (or - [Time to Move to the Old Folks' Home?](https://funny-about-money.com/time-to-move-to-the-old-folks-home/) - Stay? or flee? Do Ruby and I want to sell up, pack up, and move? Shift our base of operations to an institution for the elderly, where staff babysit you 24/7? Or...well...stay here, keep dodging the burglars and the sh!t-heads, keep managing crews of yard guys, housecleaners, pool dudes, repairmen...on and on and endlessly on? - [We're IN! Not to say FED UP....](https://funny-about-money.com/were-in-not-to-say-fed-up/) - SURPRISE!!!!! Our honored computer let me into our blog site! It's a miracle! Gray, muggy day. Reminds me vaguely of life in Berkeley, where my relatives dwelt. Only considerably warmer than the East Bay, which was usually pretty nippy. Dog and Human traipsed around the park, by the light of a dawn best described as - [Yow! TAKE COVER!](https://funny-about-money.com/yow-take-cover/) - EEK, is what we say to all this. Eeeek! :-D, not to say :-o Seriously, quite the little freshet is blowing in from the north. Soon, we could reasonably guess, it will be roaring in from the north. Here's what SDXB and New Girlfriend observed yesterday, out in their Sun City digs. He said the wind blasted shingles - [Never a Dull Moment](https://funny-about-money.com/never-a-dull-moment-6/) - Every time you turn around, here's some new shenanigan or headache to contend with. It's getting old...very old... This morning, in comes an email from a co-religionist down at the church. She and I used to work the front desk in the office, among other things. Soo...I go to answer this message and find it's - [Home, (Not So...) Sweet Home](https://funny-about-money.com/home-not-so-sweet-home/) - Ugh! This is where my parents and I used to live, on the shore of the Persian Gulf. Hard to describe how richly we were hated by the locals, who considered Americans to be emissaries of Satan. So, SOOO glad not be there anymore. My father was paid some ludicrous amount of money to shepherd - [Hair!](https://funny-about-money.com/hair-2/) - Three in the morning. Wide awake. Sick as a dawg. Ohhhh well.... Stumbled into the bathroom. While there, peered in the mirror...astonished. The hair has grown below shoulder length. For hevinsake it's halfway down my back. :-D :-D :-D Ohhh, how I wanted long hair when I was a girl! My mother, for reasons I've - [Coyotes](https://funny-about-money.com/coyotes/) - Several posts showing coyotes in our neighborhood yards. And parks...this one is entertaining: https://www.reddit.com/r/phoenix/comments/1kryhmi/made_some_friend_with_coyotes_at_the_park_near/ https://www.reddit.com/r/phoenix/comments/1kryhmi/made_some_friend_with_coyotes_at_the_park_near/ And thither: they're all over town. They'll wander into our 'Hood now and again. Coyotes aren't real fond of humans, so if they spot you or hear you coming, they'll usually take off. Or hide. But still...one would just as - [Riding the Wagon](https://funny-about-money.com/riding-the-wagon/) - Decided to climb on the wagon for a few days...horrors! :-D Seriously: I no longer sit around tippling half the afternoon, as DXH and I used to do -- and later, SDXB and I did. This grating abstinence cuts the wine consumption to about a bottle a week. Which for us...ain't much. Still...of late, even - [Dim Light on the Horizon?](https://funny-about-money.com/dim-light-on-the-horizon/) - Okay, this afternoon the weirdly spavined back has decided to act a little better. Why, I do not know. Time and the river flowing, I imagine. This is the first time in three weeks or so that the pain has slacked off a bit. At any rate, it does offer SOME hope that this little frolick will - [](https://funny-about-money.com/41898-2/) - Here we are in Coyote Hell again. Actually...I get a kick out of the coyotes and do not consider their presence to be Hell-making. But ooooh my, how they terrorize the local gringos. Get on the neighborhood Facebook Page and it's oooohhhh eeeeeek aaaaawkkkk eeeeek ohhhhhh!!@!!! Squalls of terror from all directions. Humans sure are stupid, aren't - [The House on the Park](https://funny-about-money.com/the-house-on-the-park/) - Every time Ruby and I head out into the' Hood and circumnavigate the park, we pass a house that makes me think We need to move out of this place! It's a beautiful house: two stories, facing right on the park. About as upscale as you can get. But... A friend of mine was living there - [Eeeeek! What NEXT, Lord?](https://funny-about-money.com/eeeeek-what-next-lord/) - So here's the Human: loafing in its easy chair, swilling coffee, and munching chocolate. And there's the Dawg: squirreling around with something on the floor. Human takes a swiggle of coffee and a closer look, and...and... HOOOLEEE maquerel! That something is a SCORPION. Incredibly, it hasn't yet launched its defenses against the Dawg. IS there REALLY never - [Life in the Desert: Hazards Thereof](https://funny-about-money.com/life-in-the-desert-hazards-thereof/) - The heavy-duty steel screen door is closed and locked...interior door open to let in some fresh air and let Ruby peer out. WHAT a goddam place we live in, where you dare not leave the kitchen door open while you putter around the house! Ruby the Corgi, of course, would make a ruckus if someone tried - [Ear Whistle? Or Limp?](https://funny-about-money.com/ear-whistle-or-limp/) - {Chortle!} So a few days ago I held forth about gulping down ibuprofen...which I had to do to beat back the pretty startling pain in a spavined hip. Ibuprofen, it develops, makes your ears whistle. So, as we scribble, my head is singing SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...... Yeah: one gets one's choice: a giant pain in the a$$, or - [Hah! I'm IN!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/hah-im-in-2/) - Click on "Firefox" to open Funny about Money, and get an aggravating pop-up: "Choose a Firefox profile to log in." I don't WANT a Firefox profile, goddammit!!!!! I just want to get into my silly little blog! Arrrrrrrggggghhhh! Life in the 21st Century: one goddamn aggravation after another! Oh, well. For reasons unknown, the system - [And I need a $15,000 car...WHY?](https://funny-about-money.com/and-i-need-a-15000-car-why/) - If you read Funny about Money all the time, you know my honored son made off with my car some weeks ago. Purloined it right out of the garage, and stole the keys that go with it. :-D Did he think this would create some lesson-building entrée into my life? Hevvin only knows. Minds, I - [Another Day, Another Jab in the Hip...](https://funny-about-money.com/another-day-another-jab-in-the-hip/) - LOL! The spavined hip remains...spavined! Well...actually, that's a bit of an overstatement. It does still hurt. As in HURT. But...nowhere as much as it hurt yesterday. The pain does seem to be going down a little. My guess is (Doctor Hay Speaks!) that the worst of the pain will be gone after about another three days. - [B-B-B-R-R-R-R-R-R...](https://funny-about-money.com/b-b-b-r-r-r-r-r-r/) - Egad, it's cold out there! Well....normal people in normal climes would think it was right balmy. But for an Arizonan, it's colder than a by-gawd! :-D Forty degrees on the back porch kinda obviates this morning's doggy-walk. M'hijito is presumably on his way over here: his plan is to pick me up and drag me to - [Glorioski!](https://funny-about-money.com/glorioski-3/) - Truly: what a GLORIOUS afternoon! Weather: cool but not too cool sunny but not hot Neighbors: Sittin' around their front yards with the kids out Kids: cuter than cute, having a great time running around Ruby the Corgi: Snoozing in the back bathroom NOT lost, after all! :-D As you may have deduced: a small - [Beerless in Gaza...](https://funny-about-money.com/beerless-in-gaza/) - Well, that was one of the weirder junkets I've made in the past few years. :-D It went like this: * Out the door * Wander up Main Drag West past the Prod church * Stroll on through the Albertson's, planning to buy... *...to buy? *...to buy WHAT? *How's about picking up a six-pack of beer? * - [A-r-r-g-h! Not to say OUCH!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/a-r-r-g-h-not-to-say-ouch/) - Wow! That really hurts!!! What exactly I did to bring this on escapes me: but just now, the right hip is SO SPAVINED I can barely hobble across a room. Don't recall doing anything to create any damage. So I imagine I must have slept crooked, and in doing so, sprained something in the groin - [Spavined!](https://funny-about-money.com/spavined-2/) - OUCH! Ouch ouch ouchety-ouch OUCH, does that damn hip HURT! Stupidly, the human took off for the park this afternoon with the corgi leading the way. We got about halfway around when I realized I was damn near crippled! Didn't seem to hurt THAT much when we started out. But it just got worse and worse - [Doggie Resistance](https://funny-about-money.com/doggie-resistance/) - Ruby is lobbying to head on out of the Funny Farm and go for a good long walk around the 'Hood. Her human, however...not so much. The human doggedly resists... Cripes. I'm so crippled I can barely limp from the dining table into the kitchen. Why? Dunno. Best guess is I must have slept in - [And the Beat(ing) Goes On...](https://funny-about-money.com/and-the-beating-goes-on/) - The news is full of anguished reports about the disappearance of a woman from her home outside of Tucson. The cops don't seem to be tracking any credible leads: every report we've seen in the news has described yet another dead end. This, my friends, is why you have a German shepherd. Or a doberman - [HAH! Next Time....](https://funny-about-money.com/hah-next-time/) - One ringie-dingie...two ringie-dingies...three... Sucker picks up the phone. Sales pitch commences. Sucker swears like a 19th-century sailor at the ba*tard on the other end and hangs up. One ringie... Jerk on the other end calls back to harass.... JAYZUZ, am I sick of phone soliciting. Really: that's about all my land-line phone rings for anymore. And that - [Scared in Your Living Room...](https://funny-about-money.com/scared-in-your-living-room/) - Egad! Get up and close that damn back door! Ruby and I are loafing in the family room...while the kitchen door hangs open. And while the news is full of reports about the guy who walked in a woman's door as she was enjoying the beautiful weather around her house, out in a tony suburb.... LUV-leeee! - [Spavined!!](https://funny-about-money.com/spavined/) - Actually, the spavined hip is beginning to feel noticeably better. Doesn't mean it's healed...matter of facts it still hurts. And hurts. And hurts...hurts...hurts...hurts. But: doesn't hurt as much as it did. Whatever our grand physical therapist tried to do the other day, that didn't help. If anything, it made it hurt WORSE. By this evening, - [Ruminations on Ruination](https://funny-about-money.com/ruminations-on-ruination/) - Egad! Get up and close that damn back door...NOW! Seriously: the Dawg and the Human just sat down to take in the morning slack -- coffee mug in hand, computer atop lap -- and it dawns on the Human: Do not sit there with the back door hanging open, dammit!!! Nay verily, not even if the - [Back Online! And Chariot-Free](https://funny-about-money.com/back-online-and-chariot-free/) - Hallelujah! Funny appears to be back online. Why, when, where? No idea. At any rate, we'll soon see if this post goes up. Meanwhile, our li'l world is toddling off to Hell on a handcart. (Can you toddle on a rolling thing?) Everybody that I know, just about, is sick as a dawg. (Why are - [The nightmares never stop](https://funny-about-money.com/the-nightmares-never-stop/) - O Gawd! There really IS a point when it's time to hop off from the merry-go-round that is life! WHAT a flickin' nightmare just living has become. My poor son -- make that my HEROIC son -- has been dragging me from pillar to post: doctors, therapists, thisses, thats, and whatnots. Seems to be no end - [Hmmm... Maybe I'm in, after all?](https://funny-about-money.com/hmmm-maybe-im-in-after-all/) - Now it suddenly looks like the laptop is to be allowed in to my website. WHY, i have noooo idea! Whatever, other FaM sites are apparently dead. Sick and tired of this computer stuff! - [Hallelujah!!!! We're IN](https://funny-about-money.com/hallelujah-were-in/) - So: the big desktop computer lets me in to Funny about Money! The laptop: not so much. Why? I have NO idea. Not much to say: this is more of a test post than anything else, just to see if the site will go online at all. And so, a-w-a-a-y! - [A-a-n-d...just to make things perfect...](https://funny-about-money.com/a-a-n-d-just-to-make-things-perfect/) - Now Facebook has changed its settings in some weird way so that I can't get into my page there, or if I can, it won't let me post anything there. SCREW YOU, FACEBOOK! Seriously: that's the end of my Facebook presence...and...I hafta say, I am so out of patience with this kinda BS and with - [NEVER Stops...](https://funny-about-money.com/never-stops/) - cripes. Come along about noon...I just get my spavined body settled onto the bed with the heating pad cooking the sprained groin muscles, and... !!!!!BING BONGGGGG!!!!! God DAMN it. Drag out of the sack, limp through the house...limp through the house...limp through the house: Gerardo and his boys at the door: all set to rake and - [Securing the Security...](https://funny-about-money.com/securing-the-security/) - Lookit this hair-raising tale! This charming incident happened just down the road, in Tucson. Holeee shee-ut! The victim is a famous person -- or near famous, connected with the Today show. But y'know...it could be any of us. You or me or...who knows? It's a good reason to be sure you secure your exterior doors. And I do mean seriously secure them. Make - [Kaput?????](https://funny-about-money.com/kaput/) - Well: we'll see if Funny is kaput in the land of the flying computers... AUGH. It looks like my desktop is offline altogether, and the laptop is sorta offline...maybe kaput, maybe not kaput. :-o To perfect that predicament, somehow I spavined a hip joint and now can BARELY limp up the hallway. Hmmm... does that mean My hip is - [Are We Still Online?](https://funny-about-money.com/are-we-still-online/) - Looks like once again I'm back in to Funny about Money, despite the last week's hijinks. Hallelujah, brothers and sisters! That's surely some kind of little miracle. It's a gray, drab morning: 8:30 and no brighter than about 7 a.m. Harvey the Beloved Pool Cleaner appears to be on the fritz. Looks like he's stuck - [Egad! Who'd've Thunk it?](https://funny-about-money.com/egad-whodve-thunk-it/) - Woo HOOO! I'm IN!! Yeah: Seriously, I thought there was NO WAY I could get back into Funny about Money, not without hauling the laptop over to the computer guys and begging them to fix it. But mysteriously: here we are! At least I think so... We'll find out when we try t...JANGLE JANGLE JANGLE!!!!! - [Owwwwww!!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/owwwwww/) - Was it REALLY only a day ago that I was whinging on and on about the pain in the hip? Feels more like about a year. HURT? Hoooleee Gawd, does it HURT! To get up the hallway from the bedroom to the kitchen & front of the house, I have to stick out my arms - [YOWCH!!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/yowch/) - Ouch, every which way from Sunday! In the hip. In the feet. In spavined fingers... Every goddamwhich way from Sunday! Thank HEAVEN for Amazon! Honestly: I have NO idea how on earth I would cope if somehow I had to traipse to the store for everygoddamthing the dog and I need. Just walking up the - [Ah hah! Back IN!](https://funny-about-money.com/ah-hah-back-in/) - Thought Wordpress had locked me out of Funny about Money. But nay! Here we are!! Actually, M'hijito is probably the one who got me back in. He's in the study right now, wrestling with the computer and the Internet. Must say: you have to own a LOT more IQ points than I do in order - [Work Life: Movin' On](https://funny-about-money.com/work-life-movin-on/) - A middle-aged man of my acquaintance -- early middle age, but still: no kid -- recently lost his job. Canned for no great fault of his, but you may be sure the ex-employer will try to foist blame on him by way of minimizing post-employment payments. {sigh} I think what would I do if I were - [Pain, Pain, and More Pain!](https://funny-about-money.com/pain-pain-and-more-pain/) - Omigawd. Wanna hear about hurt? Lemme tellya HURT. For reasons unknown, my right hip is massively spavined. Seriously: I have no idea why or what caused it: must have twisted around funny in my sleep. All I know is that the joint hurts SO MUCH that I'd classify it as about the worst pain I've ever had. And - [And When I Said "One of Those Days"...](https://funny-about-money.com/and-when-i-said-one-of-those-days/) - Plumber visited. Gouged me $400 to fix the toilet and attendant piping. AND -- get this!!!!! -- tried to make a pass at me! No kidding; he actually groped me, like I was a 17-year-old kid!!! Yeah: ME. The cranky old bat who's olde enough to be his grandmother. So...that company won't be invited back. :-D - [Weirdness!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/weirdness/) - Jayzuz! Last week ended weird and today -- Monday -- starts weird! No clue what's going on, but whatever it is...it's weird. We're coming up on 8:00 a.m. I've been charging around since dawn, searching for the source of weird noises. One of these is a strange thump-thump thump-thump that sounds like it may be coming from - [The Plague of Passwords](https://funny-about-money.com/the-plague-of-passwords/) - Godlmighty, am I ever sick & tired of password hoop-jumps set up for you to navigate at every goddamn website. Yeah: Including the ones you own. FaM used to recognize my computer when I surfaced over here No more! Now I've got to look up a stupid password and type it in -- carefully -- to access my own - [Gorgeous Evening!](https://funny-about-money.com/gorgeous-evening/) - Five-thirty...and oh! What a gorgeous, beautiful evening. The magical corgi and I loaf on the back porch, beneath a sky richly decorated with fluffy clouds: High gray clouds reflecting the orange sunset, so beautiful! Just back from the Albertson's shopping center, down on the corner of Slum Drive and Commuter's Way. The crummy apartments across the way - [Evening in the 'Hood](https://funny-about-money.com/evening-in-the-hood/) - Dusk, with high thin clouds floating over the 'hood. Wow! What a GORGEOUS evening as Ruby and her human stroll around. This neighborhood gets tonier and fancier and more spectacularly expensive-looking by the day. If I manage to stay here until I die, my son is going to inherit the Asset from Heaven! Seriously: worth - [Here We Go Again...](https://funny-about-money.com/here-we-go-again-3/) - Speaking of the glories of the Middle of Nowhere (as we were yesterday), this morning a fine cop copter is buzzing the low-rent district just to the north of us -- right across Main Drag North. Nine times out of ten, these little dust-ups ("copter-ups"?) amount to nothing. It's the times when they chase the - [Tromping, Endlessly Tromping...](https://funny-about-money.com/tromping-endlessly-tromping/) - For reasons unknown to The Olde Bat, this afternoon my right hip is spavined. And Boy! Does it hurt! No idea why: don't recall slipping or tripping or sleeping cattywampus. All I know is...I can barely hubble up the damn sidewalk! Needed to make a grocery-store run this afternoon. The Albertson's is close: only a - [...And Day Fades into Evening](https://funny-about-money.com/and-day-fades-into-evening/) - My son will soon be over here to drag me over to the (hateful!!) physical therapy studio. Ohhhh gawd how could I do without that place and its mindless routines? Said routines do nothing to help the spavined hip and back. What helps, apparently, is Time and the River Flowing. And walking, walking, walking, walking... Trotted up - [One Ringie-Dingie...Two Ringie...](https://funny-about-money.com/one-ringie-dingie-two-ringie/) - Not even 8:00 in the morning and I've already had three hustling phone calls and hung up on the plumber, who was calling to see if I was here and would let him in. Because I didn't answer the phone -- or rather, slammed it down in his ear, one of my favorite tricks for - [Pool Dude!](https://funny-about-money.com/pool-dude/) - ARF! we say. ARF ARFETY ARF! IT'S POOL DUDE DAY! Darned if I can imagine how Ruby the Corgi knows when it's Pool Dude's day to come over and shovel out the hole-in-the-ground-into-which-to-pour money. But by golly, she sure does! And she's out there lurking by the gate -- or in the house by the back Unless you have kids who play in the pool every day, owning one is hardly worth the cost. - [Memories...of Nightmares](https://funny-about-money.com/memories-of-nightmares/) - {chortle!} Sittin' here over breakfast remembering my beloved San Francisco Bay Area relatives of the prior generation. They lived on the side of a hill in Berkeley, just below a tunnel where the train to San Francisco entered the neighborhood. Those were cool ladies: my aunt Gertrude and her mother (my great-grandmother) Clarissa, lovingly known - [Why would she do that?](https://funny-about-money.com/why-would-she-do-that/) - One of the things that puzzles me, here in the wee hours of the morning, is why my mother killed herself that way? She knew what she was doing. She'd watched her mother die, hideously, of cancer. One might say, of a self-induced cancer. So she knew the horror and misery that particular type of suicide - [Never a Fukkin' Dull Moment!](https://funny-about-money.com/never-a-fukkin-dull-moment/) - Saturday noon...and now I've got the plumber on his way over here. The toilet in the master bathroom is totally clogged. The one in the center bathroom, which drains through the same system, is barely working. Jayzuz! Another pile of obscene bills, galloping down the pike!!! Just talked to their dispatcher: she says they're on - [Bring Her Back](https://funny-about-money.com/bring-her-back/) - I want my mother back. She was murdered by the tobacco merchants of death. It was an effective way to kill her: get her hooked on an addictive, toxic weed and let her puff herself to death. She never saw her grandson. But oh, my! How she would have loved him. How she would thought - [Loverly Loafing...](https://funny-about-money.com/loverly-loafing/) - WHAT a gorgeous afternoon! Cool but not too cool, warm but not too warm. Cute little kids behind us playing in their yard. Birds gliding around...DANG! But this part of the neighborhood is THE business. Days have gone by without a car, and y'know what has happened? That's right: nothing Not one single catastrophe has - [Another Day Later and Deeper in... ??? ...](https://funny-about-money.com/another-day-later-and-deeper-in/) - A day later and early evening. Still sicker than a dawg. Well: that's not surprising, since the Dawg shows no sign of anything resembling an ailment...whereas I'm banging at Death's Door. :-D Well. At least...at some doctor's door. Jeez. Did you know you could get peripheral neuropathy in your damned teeth??? No kidding: my two upper - [San Francisco: Take Me Home](https://funny-about-money.com/san-francisco-take-me-home/) - ...To the place I belong... Parkmerced. That's where I belong. Oh, my: what a lovely development, down near the shore of Lake Merced, on the southerly end of San Francisco. My mother got us in there when we came back from Arabia: before my father came back to the States. We left the Hell-Hole ahead - [Colder Than a By-Gawd!](https://funny-about-money.com/colder-than-a-by-gawd-3/) - LOL! Well, no: it's probably not THAT cold. It was one of my father's favorite turns of phrase: hotter than a by-gawd! colder than a by-gawd! LOL! I never did figure out what, if anything, a "by-gawd" was. As a kid, I assumed he meant "bi-god." By that, he apparently did not intend the Earls of - [How Do They Know?](https://funny-about-money.com/how-do-they-know-3/) - ...How DO they know when you've been awake half the night and want only to flop down on the bed and doze off? :-D I dunno...but they DO know. No doubt of it. Mental telepathy, maybe? Just get under the covers. Play a computer game of solitaire. Next: to turn off the light and launch - [I'm IN!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/im-in-2/) - A miracle! Lost the password for FaM. And thought...well, that's it for the blogging hobby. But nay! called up a magical page, and presto! Here it is! Why or how, I have no idea... Probably FaM is no longer for this world than I am...which at the moment appears not to be much longer. I'm - [Ever-So-Slightly De-crippled...](https://funny-about-money.com/ever-so-slightly-de-crippled/) - The spavined hip I've been whining about seems s-l-o-o-w-l-y to be getting better. The Dawg and the Human managed to make our usual perambulation around the populated part of the 'Hood -- short version -- without crippling the old lady. Still hurts, but at least the leg & hip are now functional. With any luck, - [Hurts Like Hell! Down through the ages...](https://funny-about-money.com/hurts-like-hell-down-through-the-ages/) - No kidding. It's 6:00 in the evening, and the hip pain has been holding forth all day. Not any better as the sun goes down. Seriously, this thing DOES hurt like the dickens. Won't say I've never had anything hurt this much...but it's close. Very close. Contemplating the ancestors and the family history... Here's my - [Colder'n a By-Gawd](https://funny-about-money.com/coldern-a-by-gawd/) - Mighty crisp out there this morning. Truth to tell, though, it's not THAT cold: no frost on the windshields. O'course, that may be because it's a dry cold. :-D Hoping that Wonder-Cleaning Lady shows up today...but then realize...hold the phone!!...it's Friday! And that is NOT Cleaning-Lady-Day. Oh well. The house is still clean from her last visit. - [Another Doggy-walk Escape!](https://funny-about-money.com/another-doggy-walk-escape/) - Cackle! We've got another excuse to cheat the corgi out of her morning doggy-walk: weather! Seriously: it's cold as the dickens out there, with cumulus clouds stacking up all around us. Now, if I were a responsible grown-up, by now I would have gotten up off my duff and walked the hound around the hood. But...but...that would - [Rain, Wet Dog, Cranky Human](https://funny-about-money.com/rain-wet-dog-cranky-human/) - As predicted, water is falling out of the sky now, along about 9:00 p.m. And, as predictable, Ruby the Corgi decides nothing will do but what she must go outside. Of course. I expected a unicorn????? Drag dawg off bed, stumble to the back door, stagger out into the soggy darkness. For a change, Ruby - [When You Are a Dog...](https://funny-about-money.com/when-you-are-a-dog/) - You most certainly do know how to loaf! LOL! Ruby the Ineffable Corgi has been practicing her loafing skills all day...and by golly, it's quarter after 1:00 in the afternoon! And..there will be no distractions from the Ridiculous Human, by golly! It's heavily overcast and just a bit chilly: 60 degrees or so. Rain predicted today and - [Lost Times, Lost Friends, Lost Family...](https://funny-about-money.com/lost-times-lost-friends-lost-family/) - Phoenix...ugh! The place gets more and more like L.A. as the days pass! I was reminded of this, fairly vividly, when I drove through a tract just to the south of the 'Hood, probably built out in the late 1950s or the 1960s. The houses there remind me so much of my mother's best friend, - [Totally Not in the Mood!](https://funny-about-money.com/totally-not-in-the-mood/) - LOL! A passel -- and we DO mean passel -- of annoying chores awaits the Human's attention this a.m. How can I count the ways that I don't wanna... Pick up the kitchen Wash the dishes Make the bed Walk the dog Figure out what's wrong the the computer this time Drag the garden hose around Wash - [The Boggle Minds!](https://funny-about-money.com/the-boggle-minds/) - LOOK at the prices on these old Hudson's Bay blankets! My father, who was a merchant mariner sailing oil tankers, brought two of these back for my mother. He would faint dead away if he saw the prices posted here! So would my mother. I'm sure she knew, at the time he brought them home, that the - [Congregate Living???](https://funny-about-money.com/41669-2/) - Jeez. Here's an update on the latest hoodlum fiasco in downtown Phoenix. Horrors! I almost bought a condo right across the street from this happening. Very nice apartment, centrally located, excellent public transportation, right down the street from two major regional hospitals, and no further from my son's house than this place is. If I'd - [How Lucky Can Ya Get?](https://funny-about-money.com/how-lucky-can-ya-get/) - Really: just exactly how lucky CAN some little old lady get? The Cleaning Lady from Heaven just trotted out the front door -- very likely en route to her next house. That woman works like a horse. Oh hell: make that like a Clydesdale. You've never seen anyone who does so much work at such high - [Pain Pain Pain!](https://funny-about-money.com/pain-pain-pain-2/) - Augh!!!! WHAT a way to start the New Year! My left hip hurts SO much -- for reasons that frankly, I do not understand -- that I can barely stand up from a chair or hobble across a room. Amazing pain! Apparently I spavined a hip joint -- how, I do not know. The result: pain, pain, pain, - [Glorioski!](https://funny-about-money.com/glorioski-2/) - What a GORGEOUS morning!!! High, thin clouds gently floating overhead. The blue sky peering through them. And splendidly temperate, inviting you to park yourself on the back porch, crunch a cookie, and guzzle black coffee. Truth to tell, for all its eccentricities Arizona really IS a splendid place to live. Don't know how my father - [Morning in Arizona...](https://funny-about-money.com/morning-in-arizona-3/) - Ahhhhhh! Is that coffee good, or IS that coffee GOOD? Waiting for Wonder-Cleaning Lady to surface...if she's gonna surface. It's 9:40 in the morning now, and she hasn't appeared at the Wonder-Accountants' house -- she goes there first; then comes to the Funny Farm. Sooo...I think (hope!) it's safe to assume this isn't one of her - [Reel Estate...](https://funny-about-money.com/reel-estate/) - Good lord! Looking at the local real estate ads is like watching a horror movie! :-o Prices have hit the stratosphere and are headed into orbit. Here's an aging tract house in my son's neighborhood, nothing special: $389,000. What the hell do they think it's made of???? And...have they ever heard of "taste"? That orange - [Don't Do This to Yourself...](https://funny-about-money.com/dont-do-this-to-yourself/) - Mwa hah ha! The LAST thing a reasonably rational person needs is a mud-bath in sentimentality... Seriously: The Internet, being a repository of all things remembered, forgettable or not, presents a serious threat to your sanity. It invites you to wallow in memories best left forgotten, We have my friend Bruce Macalvanah, about a year - [BANG! BANG!! BANG-A-DA-BANG!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/bang-bang-bang-a-da-bang/) - Eight-thirty of a New's Eve! And everyone within (and beyond) earshot is celebrating: BANG! BANG!! BANGA-DA-BANG!!! Amazingly, Ruby the Corgi is taking it all in...very relaxed stride. Really: I would have expected her to be all nervous and jumpy and spooked. But nay! She seems to realize all that racket is coming from somewhere else: somewhere a - [Hurt! Hurt! Hurt! Hurt!!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/hurt-hurt-hurt-hurt/) - Ohhhhh my GAWD it hurts! The hip ailment, that is. Old age bein' what it is, I contrived to SPROING my hip (don't ask how...I dunno!) so that every goddam movement hurts, hurts, and then hurts some more. Dog followed me out to the mailbox this afternoon...didn't know whether I could get her back in. Fortunately, - [Pool Dude, Beloved Pool Dude](https://funny-about-money.com/pool-dude-beloved-pool-dude/) - HOW ON EARTH does this dawg know when it's Pool Dude Day??? Do dogs have internal calendars? That wonderful man comes around regularly to shovel out the leaves, the dust, and the whatnot, to update the chemicals, and to keep the pump equipment running. If it weren't for him, by now I'd have had to do what - [December 29, Part II](https://funny-about-money.com/december-29-part-ii/) - Well...that must have amused the neighbors no end! :-D :-D :-D Ruby and I set out for a dusk doggy-walk. We had just gotten under way -- literally, just a few steps up the driveway -- when OOOOWWWWWWW!!!!!!! The human's back went out. And I do mean out. As in OUT out. Dunno when I've ever had - [Wow!!](https://funny-about-money.com/wow-2/) - Life in lovely downtown Phoenix... This little adventure occurred right across the road from where I was gonna live. Yeah: just a few years ago, I almost bought an apartment just across the street from this spot. What a place!! Fortunately, I decided the price was too high for what the condos offered. And that the - [Outta There!](https://funny-about-money.com/outta-there/) - Hmmm... Sounds like the cops must have chased off the legions of delinquents, drunks, and morons who inhabit Main Drag North at this hour of a weekend evening. The Roar ROAR ROAR that we normally enjoy at this time of night has suddenly ceased. So...presumably the gendarmes went after the roaring idiots. It's the kind of stupid - [Brats and Morons Abroad!](https://funny-about-money.com/brats-and-morons-abroad/) - Saturday night! A lovely night, actually: cool but not cold, soft of air and clear of sky.... The racket from our local morons' unmuffled hot-rods echoes down from Main Drag North. And what a racket! The cops have lots of other things to do than enforce the law that requires cars to be equipped with mufflers. - [Real-Estate Dreamin'](https://funny-about-money.com/real-estate-dreamin-2/) - The idle(!!) mind returns to the fine overpriced patio homes I saw yesterday while roaming around the neighborhood. Parked between the canal and the neighborhood that DXH still inhabits, one of those places would be exceptionally convenient for my son. And about three blocks from a major supermarket, allowing me to stock up on groceries without ever - [Batteries Battened Down...](https://funny-about-money.com/batteries-battened-down/) - Chortle! Have you noticed that smoke alarm batteries invariably pick the middle of the night to run out of juice? How do the things know? :-D So...it was climb up on a ladder and unhook the living-room alarm from its seat on the ceiling. Disconnect the juice from the beeper. HUH...that's the last battery on the ceiling, - [How is it possible to HURT this much????](https://funny-about-money.com/how-is-it-possible-to-hurt-this-much/) - December 26: Oh. My. GAWD! The Pain!!!! What the heck did I do to myself??????? NO idea. All I know is my left hip hurts so much I can barely walk. And that is NOT an exaggeration! Launching into the afternoon in a state of High Boredom, I took it into my pea-brained li'l head to - [Hiking Dogtilda...](https://funny-about-money.com/hiking-dogtilda/) - So along about noon or so, I imagine I'd heard nary a word from the Kid, so I assume he doesn't give a da*n what my Christmas is like. Grump, say I and grumble! Send him a crabby-ole-lady message and take off into the 'Hood with the pooch. and... And...yeah.... The Dawg and I return and take - [Merry Xmas!!](https://funny-about-money.com/merry-xmas/) - Waiting to hear from M'hijito to see if he's coming over for dinner, or if the's been hijacked by his dad. :-D One way or the 'tother will be fine. We have some nice steaks defrosting. If he doesn't want to surface here, he can come over on the weekend to tear into them. Meanwhile, - [Our Garden Spot...](https://funny-about-money.com/our-garden-spot/) - Cop Copter overhead to the north, circling angrily... BANG! BANGBANG! Some a$$hole shooting at him, Herd the dog inside, follow her in. Shut off the exterior house lights. Bathe as fast as I can scrub my li'l self. Dry off. Dart into the bed. Cop is still circling to the northwest, though a further distance - [Unmerry Christmas](https://funny-about-money.com/unmerry-christmas/) - It's noon on Christmas day and NOT ONE PERSON has bothered to so much as call on the phone and wish me a Merry Xmas. Gosh. I knew I was repellant, but I had no idea I was that bad. :-( :-( :-( The sky is overcast and threatening to rain. Otherwise Ruby and I would - [Holiday Confuse-a-Bat](https://funny-about-money.com/holiday-confuse-a-bat/) - :-D Ohhh-kayyy.... It's Christmas Eve. WHAT am I supposed to be doing today? Seriously: if we had a plan, I failed to enter it on the calendar. And since nothing can be entered with any certainty in the agèd brain, natcherly I cannot remember whether m'hijito and I had something up...or not. I assume he's going to - [Still Pre-Xmasing](https://funny-about-money.com/still-pre-xmasing/) - M'hijito called and offered to drive me to the stores. Convenient, since my car has been glommed and apparently I'm never gonna get it back. So this is one shopping jaunt I don't have to make on foot. Would be nice if I could remember what I need to buy... Ohhhh well... He, then, presumably is - [Pre-Xmas, Continued...](https://funny-about-money.com/pre-xmas-continued/) - Ruby the Corgi seems to have gotten over whatever ailed her, the last time we met in these environs. No barfing(!!). No urgency to get outside. Luz, the Cleaning Lady from Heaven, just showed up at the door. That was a jolt: I didn't expect her this week!!! Fortunately the house was sorta kinda almost - [Uh-oh! Xmas-time!!](https://funny-about-money.com/uh-oh-xmas-time/) - Well, Christmas snuck up on me this year. But good! I've been loafing with such extravagant loaf-skill that I haven't paid a bit of attention to the annual merchandising frenzy. And what with my car purloined, I can't drive to choir...so frankly, I hadn't even noticed that Christmas comes in three days! Eeeeek!!!!! And I - [Pillar to Post...and Back Again!](https://funny-about-money.com/pillar-to-post-and-back-again/) - What a hoot! For unknown reasons, I got all revved up and launched on a Hike That Would Not Stop this afternoon. Seriously: I've been walking for a good three hours. Pillar to post and back again... And highly entertained by that which is the same and that which has changed around the 'Hood. As - [One of Those Days: Adumbrated](https://funny-about-money.com/one-of-those-days-adumbrated/) - Hallelujah, brothers & sisters! Dunno what brought Ruby the Corgi under the weather last night, but this morning she seems to be miraculously healed! Yes. She's scarfed down the usual dose of 1/3 can of dawg food. She's patrolled the backyard -- twice, come to think of it. Now she's standing out there waiting for a - [Ugh!](https://funny-about-money.com/ugh/) - Quarter to Four....in the morning. The dog is sick. She's got sh!t stuck all over her rear end. Cleaned her up as best as I could...which ain't very. If and when it warms up this morning...if and when morning ever comes...I'll have to haul her into the bathtub, scrub her down, haul her out, dry her off...a - [The Ole Guy...The Ole Neighborhood](https://funny-about-money.com/the-ole-guy-the-ole-neighborhood/) - Took a hike up to the corner shopping center, there to pick up some not-very-necessaries and socialize with the locals. On the way home, I walked through the northwest corner of the 'Hood, an area that SDXB and I used to frequent when he lived here in Phoenix (before he made his escape to Sun - [Does It EVER stop? Or even slow down?](https://funny-about-money.com/does-it-ever-stop-or-even-slow-down/) - Goodie Gumdrops! Now we've got a new flu epidemic revving up. And the authorities expect it to be particularly bad in Colorado. That's just across the state line... ;-) Seriously: if we have a flu epidemic in Colorado, we'll have it here in lovely (adjacent!) Arizona. Tourists will bring it across the state line, and - [She Would've Loved....](https://funny-about-money.com/she-wouldve-loved/) - Oh, my goodness! How my mother would have loved this adorable little corgi. Ruby is... ...hopelessly cute(!!) ...sweeter than candy ...doggily persuasive ...richly funny What a charmer. She surely would have seduced my mother within minutes of their meeting. And they would have been pals for life. Or at least, for rest of my mother's - [Free!! (??) I hope....](https://funny-about-money.com/free-i-hope/) - Woo HOOO! It looks suspiciously like this is NOT cleaning-lady day! The wonderful Luz (Cleaning Lady from Heaven) is not parked in front of my neighbor's house (she visits those neighbors before descending on me). It's almost noon! So...unless that dear woman picked up another client and has enjoyed scrubbing yet another shack before coming here, - [Colder than a By-Gawd...](https://funny-about-money.com/colder-than-a-by-gawd-2/) - Yes: It's quarter to ten in the morning and 55 degrees out there on the back porch. Now, in the large scheme of things, that ain't very cold. Especially not for mid-December. But for mystical, unknowable reasons, it seems damn cold! As my father used to say, Colder'n a by-gawd. What exactly a by-gawd was (some sort of - [And now it's night-time....](https://funny-about-money.com/and-now-its-night-time/) - No longer colder than a by-gawd out in the back yard...but not much fun, come 10:00 p.m., as a venue to stand around waiting for the dawg to do her Thing. And waiting...and waiting...waiting.. Aarrrrgh!!!! Traffic is roaring back and forth to the north of us. The ridiculous light-rail train is bong-bong-bonging up and down - [So...What would you have done if...?](https://funny-about-money.com/so-what-would-you-have-done-if/) - LOL! Ever look back on earlier years and contemplate what life would have been like if you had done y instead of x? :-D Undoubtedly an exercise in futility...because o'course you did NOT do y. Probably for the best, come to think of it. But it's entertaining.... What if I'd moved to Sun City when SDXB went out there? What - [Understatement of the Century](https://funny-about-money.com/understatement-of-the-century/) - Well, it isn't at all funny (about money or about anything else), but truth to tell, the first thought that entered my mind after this morning's dawn flood of undisciplined thoughts was "My father's marrying That Witch after my mother died must have been an unholy disappointment for him." Second thought: "Disappointment? What are you smoking?? It - [LOL! NOW what new neurosis???](https://funny-about-money.com/lol-now-what-new-neurosis/) - Just don't get old, especially if you're female. It's a recipe for escaped marbles! :-D Seriously (...well...almost...) ! Just roamed out into the backyard, on the trail of the Dawg. So there we are out in back, puttering around. Nice and quiet. Clear sky. Balmy afternoon... Balmy is right! :-D Suddenly, weirdly: I'm horrifically scared! WHAT the - [She killed herself. Why, why, WHY the Hell????](https://funny-about-money.com/she-killed-herself-why-why-why-the-hell/) - I fail to understand how she could have done anything so stupid. It was as though she deliberately incubated the cancer growing in her gut so as to inflict as much suffering as possible not only on herself but on those around her. She knew. She knew because she had been through the same horror with She killed herself. She knew. - [Did She Know?](https://funny-about-money.com/did-she-know-2/) - Did the woman who murdered my mother know what she was doing? Well…there is an element of ambiguity there. Luella was, after all, stupid as a post, a perfect match for her less-than-brilliant spouse. But Jeez! How hard is it to understand “You must clean all produce thoroughly AND sanitize it, lest you come down - [December in Phoenix...oh my!](https://funny-about-money.com/december-in-phoenix-oh-my/) - Yea, verily! What a place this is come a fine December afternoon! * Balmy, but not chilly. * Warm, but not hot. * Pleasantly active, but not especially busy. * Goosed by busses roaring by on Main Drag West. * Graced by kids frolicking in their yards or on the playgrounds. * Blessed by shop owners and - [Key Hell](https://funny-about-money.com/key-hell/) - LOL! Went to find a key to unlock one of the exterior screens and... Voilà! a half-dozen goddam different keys!!!! It's taken almost an hour to unjumble that mess, and it's still not straightened out. Just now: counted NINE keys, a couple of which I don't even know what they go to. Part of the problem is, - [My Father's Little Orphan Annie](https://funny-about-money.com/my-fathers-little-orphan-annie/) - In effect, my mother was my father's Little Orphan Annie: an abandoned child with no resources and no future. A large part of my mother's life, certainly during her upbringing, was fukkin' gawdawful. My father came along and rescued her from fukkin' gawdawful. His answer to fukkin' gawdawful was marriage and an escape overseas, to - [Is there a REASON we never notice...???](https://funny-about-money.com/is-there-a-reason-we-never-notice/) - {chortle!} Just back from the early morning dawg traipse. It's a little after 9 a.m. I take it into my vacant little noggin that I should walk over to the Sprouts (a few blocks away, across Main Drag West), thereinat to buy a new bag of coffee beans and some beloved dawg food and...such-like. What - [Brrrrrrr! ...I think....](https://funny-about-money.com/brrrrrrr-i-think/) - Colder 'n' a by-gawd out there on the back porch. But...but...the thermometer reads 48 degrees....which just ain't THAT cold. Need to take the Savage Beast (all 30 pounds of her) for a walk. Now, not later. But my enthusiasm for that project is about nil. And speaking of dawgs and jobs you'd druther not do: - [Too Silly for Words...](https://funny-about-money.com/too-silly-for-words/) - Did I tell you folks this story? I think not. It concerns a little incident that really WAS too silly for words. So I'm loafing here at the Funny Farm, watching Wonder-Cleaning Lady work her butt off. While she's thrashing around, two jerks....uhm...guys show up at the door, followed shortly by my son. The pair, - [Dog as Everywhere Everywhen Companion](https://funny-about-money.com/dog-as-everywhere-everywhen-companion/) - Good grief!!! Did you realize that...my goodness! You don't need to have official, doctor-certified proof that your dog is a service dog to acquire a "service dog" vest that will let you take the critter just about anyplace you can go? Check this out: Service Dog Info... Really, all you need is a service dog - [Renovations](https://funny-about-money.com/renovations/) - The young(ish) couple who bought my neighbor Sally's house are over there madly renovating. Sounds like a buzz saw -- or maybe a floor sander -- whirring away. Hm. While we think of it...let's go on a li'l doggy walk and poke our nosy schnozz into their business as we stroll by... **** So we're - [Five Days Later!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/five-days-later/) - SURPRISE!!!! The ole bat actually survived any number of days after the last time I was posting in Full Glum Mode. :-D Can you imagine? Who'd've thunk it?? I sure wouldn't've, a week ago. Welp. The teeth still ache. The gums still burn, The fingers and the feet still tingle. But just now they ache, they burn, - [GORGEOUS Day!](https://funny-about-money.com/gorgeous-day-2/) - Wow! This is one of those days when you should be in Arizona. The fine blue sky is striated delicately with high, thin, fine white clouds. The temperature hovers between perfect and perfectly perfect. Folks are strolling around and driving around and frolicking with their kids. And...yeah: you should be here! Walked through a couple - [Colder Than a By-gawd...](https://funny-about-money.com/colder-than-a-by-gawd/) - ...as my father used to say. Things were colder than, hotter than, faster than, slower than, pricier than, smarter than, stupider than...a by-gawd. And no, I don't know if he knew what the word "bigod" meant. Or even that there was such a word. He wasn't what you'd call a real eddycated fella. At any rate, it's - [And...whaaa? UNdone for????](https://funny-about-money.com/and-whaaa-undone-for/) - WTF????? After this morning's whiney whinge, now -- come 3:34 in the afternoon -- suddenly I'm a whole new person!!! Why????? What on earth would cause a gigantic slug of misery to suddenly evaporate? To be replaced by a calm, almost complacent mood tending (even!) toward the cheerful????? Seriously: I cannot imagine. This morning I was - [Day's End](https://funny-about-money.com/days-end/) - WOW! What an incredibly beautiful evening!! The sun has dropped below the horizon, leaving a lush, quiet circle of pinks and pale blues and violets surrounding the'Hood. Sooooo pretty. Kids are still playing outside: what could be better? Cruised up the street past the neighbors' yards, where fine young people have taken over the landscape. Yes: I do love - [Strangely Healed...](https://funny-about-money.com/strangely-healed/) - The other day I was whinging on and on and freakin' ON about the aches and pains of Olde Age. And now, amid a gorgeous Tuesday evening richly festooned with Christmas lights? Weirdly, almost ALL the pain is g0ne! Why??? THAT is beyond me. Obviously, if I knew what makes it come and go, I might - [Done For!](https://funny-about-money.com/done-for/) - Continuing spectacularly sick. Ohhh well...by now I've gotten used to the what appears to be the fact that I'm never going to get well. The best that can be hoped, I reckon, is that life comes to an end in some reasonable period of time. Though, it must be allowed, we're well past any "reasonable - [Gosh!](https://funny-about-money.com/gosh/) - LOL! As dawn cracks, WordPress is bloody well NOT ABOUT to let me into Funny about Money. The system is set up to recognize me, and so I haven't had to memorize the password...and I'll be damned if I can find a clue to it. Usually I tape the things to the computer's case, but - [En Train](https://funny-about-money.com/en-train/) - So here we are, trapped in a Mayo lab room imterminably while they pump a bottleful of medication into my arm, ******* OHHH for cryin' out loud! Wordpress just ERASED 3/4 of this damn thing when I hit "publish." Must not have gone "Save" first, eh. Welp! Watch this space. Just got home. Now must - [So...Where Were We?](https://funny-about-money.com/so-where-were-we-2/) - These days, I never know.... :-D Last I heard, we were at the Mayo Clinic, where staff were busy torturing me. That was grand fun. Did it do any good? Uhhhhh...well... In a minuscule way, I'd say. Hammering on the keyboard still makes the fingers tingle. But not as badly (I think) as before. Hey! - [Good(?) Morning, America...](https://funny-about-money.com/good-morning-america-4/) - Okay...back online. For the nonce, anyway. We seem to have lost the post I was working on. Big deal: not like I had much of import to say. :-D No more than I ever do! Don't know what hung the laptop, but suspect this little glitch presages a trip to the computer store to have - [Never a Frikkin' Dull Moment](https://funny-about-money.com/never-a-frikkin-dull-moment/) - Now we're told that a slew of aluminum pots and pans -- sold by different retailers under different brand names -- will leak lead into your food. Jayzuz! Never a frikkin' dull moment, eh? Looks like none of my cookware falls into these categories. Probably because I bought all my spectacularly overpriced pots and pans - [Kickin' & Screamin'...into the 21st Century](https://funny-about-money.com/kickin-screamin-into-the-21st-century/) - {chortle!} Welp, it looks like I'm gonna be FORCED to come into the (dire!) 21st Century. If you don't have your own chariot, you now pretty much have to hire a robo-taxi: a driverless monstrosity that requires an A.A. in computer tech to operate. How CAN I say how much I absolutely positively do NOT - [And...you thought "hotter than the hubs" was hot?](https://funny-about-money.com/and-you-thought-hotter-than-the-hubswas-hot/) - Hah! we say to that... {chortle!} 7:19 a.m.: Just back from the morning Dawg Walk. It seems hotter than the Hubs of Hades. But in fact...it's not. In fact, it's only 90 degrees out on the patio. That seeming, I expect, is occasioned by the fact that it's a bit damp out there. The air is hazy: - [What a Life She Had!](https://funny-about-money.com/what-a-life-she-had/) - Migawd! I think about my mother and all the things that happened to her over her 65 years on this earth...and I wonder...how EVER did she survive that long? My father, clearly was the best thing that ever happened to her. He rescued her from what I would describe as Hell. And he gave her - [And I'm Staying Here...WHY???](https://funny-about-money.com/and-im-staying-here-why/) - This garden spot is within easy walking distance of the Funny Farm: two, maybe three blocks. In fact, I walk by there every time I stroll up to the liquor store to grab a six-pack of Guinness. Any question why I'm beginning to think it's time to move away from here? This is far from - [A Long Time Till Dawn of a New Day](https://funny-about-money.com/a-long-time-till-dawn-of-a-new-day/) - LOL! It's 3:30 in the freaking morning! How DO I manage to wake up at these crazy hours? Ohhh well: Last night I got excused, once and for all, from the annoying hup-hup-hup physical therapy sessions. So that's a relief, anyway: for me and for my son, who was having the schlep me over there - [Fundamental Questions of Olde Age](https://funny-about-money.com/fundamental-questions-of-olde-age/) - What am I doing? What am I supposed to be doing? Who the Hell am I? And why am I here? Yes. There we have the fundamental questions that confront the aging mind. :-D Was just about to fly out the door and trudge down to the ever-pricey AJ's fancy-Dan grocery store, there to buy If this is senility, my friends...then senility is freakin' weird! - [Round and Round We Go....](https://funny-about-money.com/round-and-round-we-go-2/) - Whatever it is, it... ...doesn't work ...has to be done over again ...needs a technician to deal with it ...needs my son to wrangle the technician ...is gonna cost an arm and a leg and another arm! Air-Conditioning Dude just climbed down from damn near an hour on the roof. M'hijito was struggling to get - [A-n-d...here we have another December...](https://funny-about-money.com/a-n-d-here-we-have-another-december/) - More to the point, soon we will have another nuisance workman here. Two of them are slated to show up. Neither has surfaced yet. To add to the aggravation, my pore ole' son is coming over to supervise at least one of these worthies. (Meaning, in the Department of Aggravation, that he has to drop - [Inna Minnit...](https://funny-about-money.com/inna-minnit/) - Oook...squeak! {pace pace pace} Whimper! Oook! Dog wants out???? In a minnit, Dawg! Get up off duff, stumble to the kitchen door, fling it open for Her Majesty... Queen walks around in a circle. Strolls through the kitchen, ambles down the hallway, and heads for her nest under the back bathroom toilet. Peer outside... Water is POURING - [Surely the End Is in Sight](https://funny-about-money.com/surely-the-end-is-in-sight/) - So, so sick. One can only hope this comes to an end fairly soon. Not that I'm in any hurry to shuffle off this infamous mortal coil...but...dayum this old-age stuff hurts! Need to find a way to get down to the nursing home/old-age factory, there to talk with the operators and figure out how to arrange - [Hiking to Pretoria...](https://funny-about-money.com/hiking-to-pretoria/) - Well...to Dogtoria, actually. Ruby and I just got back from a seemingly endless trek around the'Hood, not only all over the interior regions but up and down the east and south main drags. Traipsing traipsing traipsing. Neither of the two lawyers I'd consider engaging were in their offices...not surprising, considering that this is a Sunday. - [Another Night of the Sh!theads...](https://funny-about-money.com/another-night-of-the-shtheads/) - BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! The local sh!theads are out in force this evening, playing with their fireworks (most of them illegally smuggled in from Mexico) and scaring the bedoodles out of the dog. Idiots! Ohhh well...sounds like - [Women and Terror](https://funny-about-money.com/women-and-terror/) - Loafing late in bed of a Friday morning (nya nya nyaaa! I don't hafta go to work!!!), I find myself wondering about a peculiar behavior of my mother's. She was scared, y'know. Not just scared. But absolutely fukkin' TERRORIZED. All the time. Any time she was alone in the house. Any time after dark. One - [Thank You, Good Realtor!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/thank-you-good-realtor/) - Y'know, my good Realtor Friend, a guy named John Shackleford, did me one of the greatest favors anyone ever did for me: by bringing me to this house, in this neighborhood. What a lovely, peaceful, pretty place to live! Ruby and I just got back from one of our circumnavigations of the 'Hood. And oh, - [No, Thank You!!! And it works!](https://funny-about-money.com/41412-2/) - Okay, so now we've posted a fresh new edition of our front-door message: Please be kind enough not to steal this sign NO SOLICITING, PLEASE NO PETITIONS, PLEASE Kindly do not jangle the doorbell. Occupant is ill and does not wish to yak with you. Occupant does NOT buy from solicitors. Astonishingly, I've found this - [Loafing: The Impossible Dream...](https://funny-about-money.com/loafing-the-impossible-dream/) - 87 gerjillion things to have to do before leaving for the dentist this morning: Clean teeth Wash face Paint face Comb hair Make bed Put dishes in washer (= take clean dishes out of washer & put away) Hip hurts. What have I done to myself this time???? Pick up DR table (= put away - [Now for some serious loafing...](https://funny-about-money.com/now-for-some-serious-loafing/) - Out the door, an hour or so ago. It being Thanksgiving Eve, none of the hired help is around: no sign of Gerardo the Great, no sign of the Luz the Ineffable Cleaning Lady. Our neighbor and wonder-accountant reached Luz, whom she also hires. Luz is NOT working today, thankyouverymuch. To which we say: hooooraaaaayyyy! Ruby - [Mayo-Trapped!](https://funny-about-money.com/mayo-trapped/) - So here I am stuck inside one of the Mayo Clinic's many blood-sucking rooms. Sunday morning again: once again. Just asked my son why these appointments are always made on Sunday -- one of the reasons I dropped out of choir. Got a crabby answer...but apparently he's the one who's been doing this. Like...he didn't - [Glub!](https://funny-about-money.com/glub-5/) - Yeah, verily: It's a glubifarious morning. You should see that rain pouring down out of the skyfull of dark gray clouds! Thank Gawd for coffee, that's all I can say!! It obviates my plan to traipse to the grocery stores this morning. What with my honored son having persuaded the stump-dumb doctors at the Mayo to cancel - [Today, Continued....](https://funny-about-money.com/today-continued/) - Oh, my! It is POURING out there! Seriously and no exaggeration: water dumping out of the sky by the bucketful. Aaahhhh well... So much for the plan to walk to the Sprouts or the Albertson's and retrieve some food and some wine. Ain't doin' that, not in the stuff that's falling out of the air. - [Today...](https://funny-about-money.com/today/) - Today while the horrors Still cling to your vines... I'd taste your strawberries if I could get to a store to buy some... I'm not allowed to drink your sweet wine... :-D Not to say "LOL".... Continuing in general misery this morning. Maybe, though, not as bad as it has been the past weeks. The - [Roaaaarrrrrrr!](https://funny-about-money.com/roaaaarrrrrrr/) - Gosh, what a...classically Arizona winter day. How strange, how weird, how...funny. Coming on to 10:30 of an early November morning. Ruby and I go out front to oversee The Property. Yeah: get Gerardo to fix this. Get him to trim that. Admire the other plant. Loaf, loaf, and loaf... The sky is deep gray, coated - [Summer Storm-time](https://funny-about-money.com/41366-2/) - 1:40 p.m. November 18, 2025...still! Fine freshet of an Arizona afternoon storm is y-rollin' in. kerBOOM! Thunder growls angrily in from the west. The sky has turned ash gray as clouds gallop ahead of the wind. Ruby the Corgi loafs on the bed, gazing out the window...apparently unfazed. What un-fine timing. Tonight M'ijito is dragging me - [wooo-OOOO-ooo Argha!](https://funny-about-money.com/wooo-oooo-ooo-argha/) - Dog and human return from circumnavigating the 'Hood and its park. Pick up the Funny Farm. Fix breakfast (of sorts). Chow down... ...and... woooo-OOOOOO-ooooo wooo wooo! The Song of the Yard Dude! DAYUM! So much for loafing outside over coffee, eh? Look out the window to see where our guys are. No sign of Gerardo. - [Roar...Roar...Roaaaarrrr....](https://funny-about-money.com/roar-roar-roaaaarrrr/) - Argha! Another cop helicopter, whirling around over the neighborhood to the north of us. At least, for a change, this one is not hovering right over the house. /eyeroll/ The 'Hood isn't exactly Crime Central, but neither is it a place of sweetness and tranquility. We reside on the southern edge of a suburb called - [Soggy Doggy Day](https://funny-about-money.com/soggy-doggy-day-6/) - {glub!} Rain, rain, and more rain, pouring down from a lovely pearlescent gray sky. Dawg and Human are stuck in the house. From faraway Luke Air Force Base, we're serenaded by the constant roar of fighter jets, practicing their take-offs and landings. Birds outside the back door squabble. The pool system kicks on: seems to be working - [Yuch! Another Tuesday](https://funny-about-money.com/yuch-another-tuesday/) - HORRORS. Today is Tuesday. That means this evening is soaked up and f**ked up by the endlessly annoying weekly physical therapy session. hup hup jump jump roll roll hup hup groan moan hate hate HATE. Boyoboy, do I hate the physical therapy sideshows. Not that they hurt. They don't, especially. But that they are... boring pointless - [How DO they know????](https://funny-about-money.com/how-do-they-know-2/) - Heeeee!!! Seriously: how do people know...for example, when you're so tired all you want to do is go back to bed, along about 10 in the morning? That's when they break out a jackhammer and start RRRATTTA-TATTA-TATTA on the foundation of their house. No kidding! That's what the guy catty-corner across the road is up to: jackhammering up - [Roar! Roar! ROOOARRR!](https://funny-about-money.com/roar-roar-roooarrr/) - And HOW glad am I that I don't live in Sun City anymore? GAWD, what a racket emanating from that place this afternoon! And it's a good 20 miles from here... We're talkin' jet engine noise. Sun City is just down the road from Luke Air Force Base, where what must be a VAST fleet - [A Seller's Personality](https://funny-about-money.com/a-sellers-personality/) - Yes, I do love driving around and around, looking at real estate...occasionally even getting out of the car and touring an open house. It's a trait I seem to have inherited from my mother. She also loved to look at open houses -- in Southern California, before we moved to the desiccated spaces of lovely - [Go Ahead: Just TRY to Put Your Feet Up and Relax!](https://funny-about-money.com/go-ahead-just-try-to-put-your-feet-up-and-relax/) - Feed the dog • Pick up the dishes, and • put them in the dishwasher • Pour the coffee • Lock the back screen door and • open the kitchen door to let in some cool, clean(ish) air • Find the computer • Peruse the latest news • Check Wunderground's (unremarkable) weather prediction for the - [Kids!!! <3 Kids!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/kids/) - Joy! The 'Hood gets better and better! Because..NOW we're getting KIDS! Gosh, what could possibly BE better than a passel kids playing out front? The neighbors have thrown a birthday party for one of their short set. Maybe a dozen wonderful pre-teens out there, running around and partying and laughing. Ruby and I set out - [And...So...DO I really wanna stay here?](https://funny-about-money.com/and-so-do-i-really-wanna-stay-here/) - Out the door as the earliest stores opened, the better to traipse from pillar to post. WHAT a gorgeous day!!! Neither cool nor warm...we could call it "temperate," I suppose. Without a car lurking in the garage, I have two choices: pay an Uber driver to schlep me around, or (hang onto your hat!) to - [Imagine that!!](https://funny-about-money.com/imagine-that/) - Our honored website LET ME IN!!! At least, it appears to have done so. Haven't tried to hit "Publish" yet. Mwa ha ha! That'll be the acid test, I reckon. Or the beer test. Or something. Gray and rainy out there: really a gloomy day! But here in Arizona, we don't bellyache about rain. We're - [Arf! We say...ARF!](https://funny-about-money.com/arf-we-say-arf-3/) - Back again from traipsing around the neighborhood: pillar to post to pillar. Dawg and I marched from here to the shops east of Main Drag Central; then home and into the Shack. Dawg takes up her post on the doggy bed, in the lovely air-conditioning. Human goes back out to hit the Sprouts and waypoints. - [GLORIOSKI!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/glorioski/) - Wow! What a beautiful morning!!! The Hound and I perambulate our favorite slabs of our pretty little neighborhood. Oh, my goodness: did we fall into it when I bought my first house here! We rolled out of the sack at the crack of what can only be called a GORGEOUS dawn. Garbed the human. And shot out - [Gettin' Old...how is it possible???](https://funny-about-money.com/gettin-old-how-is-it-possible/) - Gosh. As dawn cracked this morning, I happened to think of a long-gone Arizona Highways colleague, Jerry Jacka. He was one of the great landscape photographers of the Western World...I'll tellya! Look him up in the Font of All Electronic Wisdom (the Internet, of course) and discover...my gawd! He was EIGHTY-THREE when he croaked over. - [Wow! AWESOME!](https://funny-about-money.com/wow-awesome/) - Which is to say: AWESOME afternoon! What a beautiful day! When my Realtor friend John Shackelford brought me to the 'Hood, lo! these many years ago, he could not have done me a bigger favor. This middle-aged North Phoenix tract really is a beautiful little mid/middle-class neighborhood, perfect in every way. Seriously! It IS in the - [LOL! It Gets Stupider and Stupider!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/lol-it-gets-stupider-and-stupider/) - ooooohboy!!!!!! This is ONE OF THOSE DAYS!!!! One of the days where EVERY GODDAMN THING I TOUCH goes SPROOOOOIIIINNNNGGGGGG!!!! Seems to be a rather more extreme Sproingy-Day than usual, too. Forgot that today was Cleaning-Lady Day. So the wonderful Luz showed up as I was loafing and playing with the computer, and o'course the damn place - [GGRRRRRR!!!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/ggrrrrrr/) - SEVEN-FORTY FIVE IN THE MORNING and here's some phone soliciting a$$hole on the phone to pester me! Jayzuz! Arizona doesn't do Daylight Savings Time, so these clowns are probably calling from what seems like an early but marginally OK time for them. For me, there is NO time that's OK to pester me with a - [Testing](https://funny-about-money.com/testing/) - Will this work??? - [Sunday Evening: November 9](https://funny-about-money.com/sunday-evening-november-9/) - Whew! What a whirl, what a confusion, what a never-ending ongoing PITA!!!!! Here we are: Sunday night. The unholy hip pain is slightly milder. If this keeps on for a day or two, I could be persuaded (uhm...maybe) that it's going to heal up. My son having purloined my car puts me over several barrels...no doubt to - [No Longer Even Bother....](https://funny-about-money.com/no-longer-even-bother/) - BRRRIIIINGGGGGGG! BRRRIIIINGGGGGGG! BRRRIIIINGGGGGGG! CALL FROM "V....[ETC ETC ETC] Oh, hey!!! Turns OUT it's from my pal VickyC! She wants to go out for brunch...lunch...whatever it is! Yahoo! Now I have less than an hour to get off my duff, wash up, and get dressed. The heck with that noise: I'm drinkin' the rest of this coffee, - [Li'l Afternoon from Hell...](https://funny-about-money.com/lil-afternoon-from-hell/) - Y'know, it's really NOT that hot this afternoon. Only 80 degrees, come 2:45 p.m. High, faint cirrus clouds off to the north. But for some reason the afternoon feels miserably stuffy and hot. Maybe it's because whatever I try to do, I do it wrong. Those two fine sentences, for example: "High, faint...hot": FOUR typos - ["The Sound of Freedom"!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/the-sound-of-freedom-3/) - Weather conditions are right this morning to waft the breathtaking "Sound of Freedom" 25 miles across the Valley from Luke Air Force Base into our yards here in North Central Phoenix. My parents' little house in Sun City was just a few miles up the road from Luke. So there was no escape from that - [Zowie!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/zowie/) - CAN you believe it??? WordPress let me back into Funny about Money on the FIRST TRY! Zowie! It's a miracle! :-D Just back from trudging around the park with Ruby the Corgi. Usually this is pleasantly fun, and today is no serious exception. Kids playing. Grown-ups loafing and socializing. Other dawgs walking their humans. Beautiful, - [And we're b-a-a-c-k!](https://funny-about-money.com/and-were-b-a-a-c-k/) - Yep: the Hound and the Human are back from another park circumnavigating junket. WHAT a beautiful night! Perfect temperature. Velvety dark evening. Kids playing. Kids playing. Kids playing. Teenagers batting baseballs and batting baseballs and batting baseballs. A brilliant full moon pouring light down through the darkening sky. Just freakin' gorgeous. Walking through the dusk, I'm reminded - ['Round & 'Round They Go...ARF!](https://funny-about-money.com/round-round-they-go-arf/) - Eighty-nine degrees out there, sez Wunderground, with 12% humidity. Ohhh yah? Couldn't prove that by me. Just back from a junket around the park, dragged forth by a small dog. I'd have said it was nigh unto 90 degrees, ayup... and freakin' WET. Humid. Soggy. :-D Thinkin' about my late stepsister as we traipsed along. - [November 4, continued....](https://funny-about-money.com/november-4-continued/) - Some hours have passed since this morning's post. My excellent son is presumably on his way over here to pick up the shopping list he asked for when he volunteered (!!!!!) to make a grocery run for me. How cool IS that, anyway? Now I won't have to hike to the Sprouts or the Albertson's - [Ahhh! And now to LOAF!](https://funny-about-money.com/ahhh-and-now-to-loaf/) - Dayum, but Olde Age has its compensations. :-D The biggest is NOT HAVING TO GET DRESSED AND TRUDGE OFF TO WORK!!! Wheeee! Here we are, dawn's early light cheerily glowing in the window. The Dawg and the Human stuffed with breakfast. Human lingering over a cup of hot coffee. Beloved Pool Dude has been here and - [Another incredibly gorgeous morning!](https://funny-about-money.com/another-incredibly-gorgeous-morning/) - Seriously: WHERE do these incredible mornings come from? Back in the house from a pillar-to-post trek: local doctor (no one home), Sprouts, mysteriously emptied store in the Sprouts shopping center, computer store, Albertson's, on and on and unendingly on. Ruby was with me, so some of these stores did not welcome our custom. Which was - [Too Gorgeous to be Miserable...](https://funny-about-money.com/too-gorgeous-to-be-miserable/) - Seriously, this afternoon --- along about 3:00 p.m. -- is SO mellow, so soft, so clean, and SO beautiful that even the plague of little maladies fails to make one miserable. Just...incredibly...lovely! Maladies? Ohhh...just a few... Peripheral neuropathy: frantic buzzing and burning in the hands, soles of the feet, and lips. Hurts. Makes you crazy. - [EEEEK! Senility Attack!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/eeeek-senility-attack/) - Well...that was a moment of high terror... This morning I went to get my laptop so I could take it out on the back porch, there to play with the Internet by the dawn light of a gorgeous morning. Get computer from bedroom... Uh...no. Nope. No computer in the bedroom. Nor on the bed. Nor under - [Turning the House into Profit...](https://funny-about-money.com/turning-the-house-into-profit/) - So here we are, late in the afternoon: just in from a hot, muggy walk around the 'Hood. This neighborhood was one of my luckier finds along the Road of Life. Yea, verily...I do love it here! And surely do hope to pass through old age free of medical and baby-sitting bills right up to the - [You Want Me to Pay WHAAAT?????](https://funny-about-money.com/you-want-me-to-pay-whaaat/) - Statements arrive in the mail, claiming to show what is not covered by Medicare. Alarming, because they don't really say you have to pay the vendor...these outfits often generate a Medicare bill, send it off, and then refrain from charging the amounts Big Brother declines to pay. Then the vendor drops the amount the statement says - [What's Your Favorite Phone Solicitor Bounce?](https://funny-about-money.com/whats-your-favorite-phone-solicitor-bounce/) - EVERY....GODDAM...MORNING the accursed phone solicitors ring up this number. Even though I have the telephone set to ring through only on calls from specific area codes, almost every day at least one nuisance call gets through. Usually more than that. They spoof area codes as well as local exchanges, trying to trick you into picking - [What COULD she have been thinking?](https://funny-about-money.com/what-could-she-have-been-thinking/) - Or DID she think? My great-aunt Gertrude -- a kind of amateur intellectual -- lived with her mother (my great-grandmother) in a pretty little Frank Lloyd Wright-influenced bungalow in California's Berkeley foothills. It was such a lovely little house! All wood floors and handsome windows and...on and on. In back stood a similarly designed garage. - [Doggy-Walk from Heaven](https://funny-about-money.com/doggy-walk-from-heaven/) - INCREDIBLY gorgeous morning! Cool but not cold. Clear skies. Lovely, low morning sun. Neighbors out walking their dogs and taking the early air... What a fantastic neighborhood we live in. Ruby and I circumnavigated the park. Said "hello" to half-a-dozen other dawg walkers. Soaked in the gorgeous morning air. Walked past the house where the family's - [Bug Bite Bait!](https://funny-about-money.com/bug-bite-bait/) - Arrrgghhh! WHY do biting bugs sooooo love me? No kidding. This human is walkin' talkin' Bug Bait! As soon as the li'l critters see me, they swarm in for the feast. Interestingly, they also recognize the battery-operated electric bug-swatter I use to chase them around. Just now, we're in Arizona's High Mosquito Season. The li'l - [Close One!](https://funny-about-money.com/close-one/) - Every now and again -- for indiscernible reasons -- your common sense blanks out, leaving you with absolutely no idea of how to cope with your surroundings and how to cope with the shenanigans going on around you. Ever notice that? This morning, the errant brain happened to wander back thirty or forty years to - [Pure Nit-Wittitude!](https://funny-about-money.com/pure-nit-wittitude/) - What WAS the matter with me that I didn't know any better? Why did I fail to listen to my parents' opinions and advice? How could I have failed to see what a cad the boyfriend was? What about the jerk was so attractive that it overrode the attractiveness of other, much more decent and - [Love Escapes Blindness at the Garden Gate...](https://funny-about-money.com/love-escapes-blindness-at-the-garden-gate/) - My father openly called him a sh!thead. My mother didn't use that kind of language, but she made it more than clear that she agreed with my father's assessment of my Dearly Beloved Boyfriend, that junior year at the university. Ooohhhboy, did they loathe the guy! And y'know, from the vantage point of decades, I - [The Big Apartment Adventure](https://funny-about-money.com/the-big-apartment-adventure/) - Well...make that "the LITTLE apartment adventure." The hovel in question was the first place I rented all by my young self, with the proceeds from my first full-time office job. LOL! Yes, it was tiny. A one-room studio with a fold-out bed that disguised itself as the sofa when it was put away. But oh my: I was proud - [Awww, jeez! Guys!!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/awww-jeez-guys/) - Dare to sit down to breakfast, and ARF!!!! Get up to see what the Hound is arfing at, and see Gerardo's wondrous gang of yard dudes out front. Dayum!!! Get off duff. Trot around: pick up junk, put junk away; set up pool so guys can work around it; pick up more junk, put more - [Glorioski! Glorious Day, Glorious Future](https://funny-about-money.com/glorioski-glorious-day-glorious-future/) - Wow! What a gorgeous morning. Intermittent overcast with big, fluffy, cottony clouds. Cool but not cold. The sky wants to rain, but can't work itself up to that much effort. Ruby and I frolicked through Upper Richistan, as usual admiring the big ole' expensive houses and their big, expensive irrigated lawns. Gorgeous neighborhood. Ours isn't "gorgeous," but - [Hup hup hup hup...](https://funny-about-money.com/hup-hup-hup-hup/) - Waiting for M'hijito to arrive, collect me, and haul me off to the physical therapist's gym, there to spend the next two hours going hup hup hup hup hup.... Wish I knew for sure that a brain-numbing evening of mindless exercises actually works to ease the peripheral neuropathy, or whether the fading of the numbness and the buzz - [Hotter'n'The Hubs...](https://funny-about-money.com/hotternthe-hubs/) - Okay, okay...not THAT hot. But it is humid, sticky, and too damn warm out there. Ruby and I: freshly back from circumnavigating the park. It's after 2:00 in the afternoon, which makes it a bit too hot to be frolicking around out there. That notwithstanding...the dawg LOVES it. ***** My honored son, in a fit of filial - [What NOT to Do in Old Age...](https://funny-about-money.com/what-not-to-do-in-old-age/) - Gorgeous, cool morning. Few people and fewer dogs out and about. Ruby and I have a great (and peaceful) doggywalk. As we stroll through a fog of boredom, I consider...horrors abundant: * My father having to care for my mother in her last, agonizing days and weeks. * She dies and he moves into an - [Still a GORGEOUS Monday](https://funny-about-money.com/still-a-gorgeous-monday/) - Yep...we're on the third blog post of the day. Tis true! and the truth is: telephone scammers notwithstanding, worries about old-age incarceration notwithstanding: this is an OBSCENELY GORGEOUS day. Beautiful sunlight. Beautiful mild temperatures. Beautiful clean air. Beautiful spectacular blue skies. Beautiful little dog. Beautiful glass of beer. Beautiful beyond anything you can think of. - [Never-Ending...scams](https://funny-about-money.com/never-ending-scams/) - Brought back to the current stream of FaM posts by this morning's scam phone call. Seriously: EVERY DAY here's another goddamn scammer on the phone, trying to trick me into this or trick me into that. Yes, usually I do hang up on them before they get very far into their pitch. But truth to tell, some - [Late October in the Desert](https://funny-about-money.com/late-october-in-the-desert/) - Incredibly gorgeous morning! Clear, cool but not cold, not even crisp. People out pushing their baby strollers, walking their dogs. My mind wanders... ...to the horror of potential incarceration at the Beatitudes, a venerable Phoenix old-folkerie. Honestly: I'd rather be dead than locked up in an institution. Must figure out potential alternatives... * Hire someone - [Glorioski Morning](https://funny-about-money.com/glorioski-morning/) - Truly: a genuinely beautiful day has dawned. Ruby and I loaf in the west side yard, having traipsed all over the neighborhood. Dodged Mr. Coyote while on that junket. Fortunately, the coyotes here are more scared of the humans than the humans are scared are of them...and that is irrationally scared. So our wild doggy friend melted - [Ethnic Hatred](https://funny-about-money.com/ethnic-hatred/) - They did hate him. Yes, indeed. WHY, I never fully understood, except that he was THEM and we were US. My parents were born & bred to think of themselves as Yankees: specifically, as Whitey-White natural-born Americans. This, despite the fact that my father was at least a quarter Choctaw Indian. More like half, far - [Slow Morning in Citrus Central](https://funny-about-money.com/slow-morning-in-citrus-central/) - Loafing my way through the morning... :-D The miniature killer watchdog has dragged me around the park and through the neighborhood. We have chowed down. And now we loaf. One of the nicest things about loafing, here at the Funny Farm, IS the Funny Farm. It's such a pleasant place to sit around doing as - [Beautiful Dog-&-Human Night](https://funny-about-money.com/beautiful-dog-human-night/) - Ruby the Corgi dragged her Human all over the north part of the neighborhood this evening. And what a beautiful evening it is! Really one of those incredible Arizona nights...just gorgeous. We walked northward, past my old Arizona Highways colleague's place: Jerry Jacka, one of the great landscape photographers of the Southwest. Then up past our now-absent - [A Day Not QUITE from Hell...](https://funny-about-money.com/a-day-not-quite-from-hell/) - But close. Very close. Why? Well...where on earth to start? Let's start in the neighborhood computer store. My laptop crapped out; needed the attention of a computer tech. My son has my car, so I can't drive the computer across the city to the Best Buy, where I have a warranty that covers it. Shee-ut. - [Scam-a-Bat](https://funny-about-money.com/scam-a-bat/) - My poor son was mightily peeved this morning when I interrupted his work by calling him to ask if some marvel of an offer that arrived in the mail was, as suspected, a scam. Yes. Of course it's a scam. Quit breaking into my workday with that stuff! Uh huh. Well, what happens when you're - [Thursday Afternoon in October: Phoenix, AZ](https://funny-about-money.com/thursday-afternoon-in-october-phoenix-az/) - Gawd, is it ever HOT! Actually, no...it's not hot out here on the back porch. It's just stuffy. The air, I think, is slightly damp, despite its cloudless state. And that makes it seem warmer than it is. And kinda uncomfortable. Just back from a doggy-walk around the park. Traipsing, traipsing...Ruby and I are about the only - [Arrghh! Home Sweet Home?](https://funny-about-money.com/arrghh-home-sweet-home/) - Just get yourself settled into the sack. Toss doggy's Indian blanket atop the human's bedding. Turn the fan on to get the bedroom air circulating. Pooch has claimed a patch of real estate at the foot of the mattress. Climb under your own covers... ...and... Yeah. RRR..rrr...oOAOarrr...rrrrrrr! Cop copter circling over the roof. Again. These - [Traipsing to Pretoria....](https://funny-about-money.com/traipsing-to-pretoria/) - Hot, wet morning! Out the door as dawn cracked, wherewith to take an exercise walk before it gets unbearably hot. "Gets"???? Seriously? Ohhhh well. It was down to the Albertson's shopping center, wherein (I imagined) to visit the shopping-lot doctor's office and tell the staff to QUIT CALLING ME ON THE PHONE, DAMMIT!!!!!!! Three guesses: - [Morning Perambulation](https://funny-about-money.com/morning-perambulation/) - So it was OUT THE DOOR as the sun bobbed above the eastern horizon. Gorgeous morning! Cool, clear, and bright. We were, as usual, not alone. The locals love to do their morning exercise and/or dog walk as dawn cracks. Most of them probably have to go to work -- poor souls -- and so - [How Much Longer, Lord?](https://funny-about-money.com/how-much-longer-lord/) - :-D That's not a moan of despair. That's an honest question to His Godship. How much longer, dear Lord, am I likely to live? And if Your answer to that is "forever and aye...or at least longer than another two weeks," then the next question is how much longer am I going to be able to live - [Ruby-Dooo!!! EEEEEEK!](https://funny-about-money.com/ruby-dooo-eeeeeek/) - Went to call the Ruby-doo this afternoon, by way of feeding her and then loafing on the back patio, and... and... and she was GONE!!!!! As in GONE gone! Searched all through the house. Searched the yards. Called and called and CALLED.... Noooo Ruby! OOOOhhhh sheee-ut! I just about fainted dead away. She must have managed - [Glub!](https://funny-about-money.com/glub-4/) - Rain all night, letting up by light of day. We still have high clouds, and the pavements are all soaking wet. But...it looks suspiciously like whatever this is will blow away. Hmmm.... Reading the local news leads me to think I ought to blow away, myself. Good GAWD, has this place LosAngelized! Cops shoot a - [And Another Evening at the Gym](https://funny-about-money.com/and-another-evening-at-the-gym/) - The plug I just posted, a few minutes ago, covered yesterday's antics. :-D Now we have today's... Which includes, as its high point, this week's junket to the physical therapist. Can't complain about these safaris. After all... * The therapists are beyond awesome. They clearly know what they're doing (and then some!). So an evening spent - [Gray Day Redux](https://funny-about-money.com/gray-day-redux/) - Another spectacularly, tropically rainy gray day. Weirdly beautiful. Ruby and I would be out traipsing through the 'Hood if I could move my hip without eliciting a shriek of pain. Alas, I can't. So...instead, we loaf upon the bed, gazing out the big bedroom windows onto the cloudy skies and the burbling pool. Dayum! If - [Gronk! Spare Me, Lord!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/gronk-spare-me-lord/) - Even if were not pouring rain, this is NOT something would wanna do tonight. Dammit!! Dear Son called a few minutes ago to remind me that, ohhhhhh joy! We have to traipse to the physical therapists' gym and blow away the whole evening going HUP HUP HUP... What a freakin' bore! What a freakin'' waste - [Can a day REALLY be this gorgeous???](https://funny-about-money.com/can-a-day-really-be-this-gorgeous/) - Okay, okay...I do understand that some (benighted!) folks fail to recognize that a rainy day coated in pearl-gray skies is fukkin GORGEOUS. But... {sigh} their loss. My goodness, it's beautiful outside those big sliding glass doors. Yes, the sky really IS the color of pearls: gray and glowing and effing' gorgeous. A sweet and gentle rain sprinkles briefly - [It's Taken Me 60 Years to Figure It Out??????](https://funny-about-money.com/its-taken-me-60-years-to-figure-it-out/) - Dear God!! It just dawned on me -- here in 2025 -- how my mother got herself and me out of Hellish Saudi Arabia. Only now, lo! these many gerjillion years later! Jayzuz! WHY did I never see this before? It was so obvious... She and her best friend, Angie -- a nurse in the camp clinic -- how my mother got herself and me out of Hellish Saudi Arabia. - [Lock It Down!!!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/lock-it-down/) - Arghhhh! I have GOT to get special training on not answering the door, on not speaking to strangers, and on uttering the sound N-N-N-N-O-O-O-O! Crimineee! The crooks are storming me from all directions. Did I tell you about the Tree Dudes? A crew of guys showed up at the front door saying they were here - [What happened next...](https://funny-about-money.com/what-happened-next/) - Yep: that appears to be what we have next on the agenda. My son is on his way over here to pick me up and drag me to the physical therapist's gym, there to be pestered and exercised no end. UGH! How could I do without it?????? Well. Actually...I have no business bellyaching about this routine. The - [Another Evening from Hell, Comin' Up!](https://funny-about-money.com/another-evening-from-hell-comin-up/) - Yep: that appears to be what we have next on the agenda. My son is on his way over here to pick me up and drag me to the physical therapist's gym, there to be pestered and exercised no end. UGH! How could I do without it?????? Well. Actually...I have no business bellyaching about this routine. The - [More October 5 Scribbling](https://funny-about-money.com/more-october-5-scribbling/) - Not much else to do but scribble...sorry about that, folks! :-D Hot and humid outside, coming on to four in the afternoon. Ruby and her human have traipsed around the neighborhood. Admired kids playing. Damn near melted in the heat. The Human kept remarking that she wanted to back to go San Francisco. The Corgi - [Morning in the 'Hood](https://funny-about-money.com/morning-in-the-hood/) - Not to say "mourning." One of the neighbors passed away this week, leaving a bereft spouse. Nice folks: it is a loss, for everyone who knew them. Well, if you have to croak over, you couldn't pick a nicer time of year to do it -- not in central Arizona, anyway. Beautiful weather. Gorgeous day to - [Stay Away from My Doorbell...Stay Away from...](https://funny-about-money.com/stay-away-from-my-doorbell-stay-away-from/) - LOL! How's about "Stay away from My House"? This town is alive with door-to-door nuisances. I've pretty well learned never to answer the door. As policies go, that one leaves something to be desired: it causes you to miss calls from folks you do want to see. But...they number only about one in five of the - [Coyote Jamboree](https://funny-about-money.com/coyote-jamboree/) - A pair of coyotes have found the neighborhood park. Ruby and I were over there yesterday...and kinda dodged out of the way. {grump! crab!!} Decided against taking her over there for this morning's dog'n'human stroll. Not that I don't think I can fend off a coyote (I do carry a shilelagh with me, partly for - [Headin' Toward Hallowe'en!](https://funny-about-money.com/headin-toward-halloween/) - It's only the fourth of October. But o'course, that means we only have about twenty-eight days till HALLOWE'EN! My favorite annual holiday!!! People here already have silly witches and wizards set up in their yards. This is a neighborhood that embraces pagan rites, bless'em! So we get a great deal of fun hootenannying going on - [Ohhhh, the Terrror!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/ohhhh-the-terrror/) - Just back from the morning park circumnavigation. The place is overrun with dog-walkers...and...a fine pair of coyotes! LOL! One of the funniest things about living in the Hood is how brain-banging stupid the locals are about the coyotes that wander in off the desert -- about six blocks to the north of us. Ohhhh the terror!! - [So it goes...and goes...](https://funny-about-money.com/so-it-goes-and-goes/) - ...and goes. As I mentioned in my latest scribble here, the bastards at the Mayo Clinic have, for no good reason other than my age, nullified my driver's license. This, in my opinion, amounts to your basic discrimination. And if I had a little more energy and a little more sense of outrage, I'd hire - [New Post? Nothin' Much New...](https://funny-about-money.com/new-post-nothin-much-new/) - Gorgeous morning! Nothin' new for October in Arizona. Great doggy-walk, from one end of the 'Hood to the other. Nothin' new for Ruby the Corgi. Yard dudes down the street ripping up the place with their LOUD goddamn hardware. Nothin' new for this time of day. Pool Dude in and outta here before I could - [Argh! With the Perps on Our Tail](https://funny-about-money.com/argh-with-the-perps-on-our-tail/) - Lordie! Ruby and I, winding up this evening's dog-and-human walk, shoot up the street, across the yard, and into the house, cop copters hot on our tail. Dunno what's goin' on out there, but whatever it is, it's got the cops all riled up. Dart in the house. Check the exterior doors: Front door: Screen - [Progress Being Made...](https://funny-about-money.com/progress-being-made/) - Hey!!!! Here's something weird: the hip pain has slacked off SO DRAMATICALLY that it hardly hurts at all to walk around the Funny Farm! Whaaaaaaa????? Getting out of the bathtub? Didn't feel like I'd better have the phone close at hand to call the paramedics. Making the bed? Swift, tidy, and easy. And...uhm...most important: pain free! WhatEVER would cause - [Awaiting....](https://funny-about-money.com/awaiting/) - ...the arrival of M'hijito, who is slated to drag me out to the Mayo Clinic this morning. UGH! How do I hate schlepping halfway to Payson to go to a doctor? One who usually hasn't much to say that I don't already know... BLECH! The particularly annoying aspect of a Mayo Clinic appointment is that, - [A-n-n-d... {rumble rumble} here we go again!!](https://funny-about-money.com/a-n-n-d-rumble-rumble-here-we-go-again/) - Dusk. Dog and human fed and dutifully loafing. And the evening serenade rumbles in through the windows: GRRRGGRGGRRRRRUUUMMMMMBLLLLEEEE GRBAM! Wooo HOO! Lightning and thunder bouncing in through the gray skies. Just enough rain to wet the pool's decking and the houses' roofs. But otherwise: mostly stürm und drang...rather little water. That notwithstanding: we who are - [Back at the Ranch...in the nick of time](https://funny-about-money.com/back-at-the-ranch-in-the-nick-of-time/) - GAAAAAHHHH! Go ahead: just try to sit down while the coffee steeps! Hah. we say to that. Hardy-har-har! Comin' on to 8:00 of a VERY soggy morning. Thunder rolling. Clouds lurking. RRRR-O-O-A-A-R!!!! Just made it back in the house from this morning's doggy-walk.... How can I count the ways...? Seriously, this is one weird morning. We're right at - [And now...Friday Afternoon](https://funny-about-money.com/and-now-friday-afternoon/) - LOL! The Dawg and the Human dodged some very soggy bullets this afternoon. Doggy-dodgey???? :-D You should SEE the wonderful, fantastic storm that's pouring outside the bedroom window, from the inside of which -- mercifully -- Ruby and I are watching the weather. Hardly any wind. The rain is pouring straight down. And pouring down is the - [Friday Morning...](https://funny-about-money.com/friday-morning/) - Not yet 8:30...the Dawg and the Humann have rolled out of the sack, trudged around the neighborhood, perused the pool and the yard, chowed down on whatever was in the fridge, slurped up coffee, read the news (and then some) and now... Now? Wish nothing more than to go back to bed. :-D I should - [Really: There is no answer, is there?](https://funny-about-money.com/really-there-is-no-answer-is-there/) - He had already decided that he wanted to move out of Sun City and into Orangewood, the old-folkerie of his choice. But she was having none of it. Because he adored her, he wasn't about to insist that she move someplace where she didn't want to live. Surely 10 years in Saudi Arabia must have - [Garden Spot!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/garden-spot/) - So saith the beloved Wunderground, as we scribble: 103 degrees(!) with a 15% chance of rain... Glub!!! Seriously: It feels like (un)lovely Saudi Arabia out there: Hotter than Hell and as humid as the inside of an active shower stall. We've got pretty clouds fluffing their way across the sky...so I'd suggest (being the expert - [Dawgy Walk...Through the Swamp](https://funny-about-money.com/dawgy-walk-through-the-swamp/) - Blech! That is hardly an understatement. 6:30 in the morning and it feels like a freakin' sauna out there! What a horrible day! It's 90 degrees in the shade of the back porch. 8:30 a.m. Truly does feel like a freakin' SAUNA out there, it's sooo hot and soooo WET. I've seen days like this in (un)lovely - [Movin' On...if it can be called moving...](https://funny-about-money.com/movin-on-if-it-can-be-called-moving/) - LOL! Okay, so the magnificent stabs of pain that visited the lame hip a little earlier today have pretty well settled down. What kicked it up, I have NO idea. Nor do have I a clue what made it settle down. All I know just now is that at the moment it hurts, but it - [Haunted!](https://funny-about-money.com/haunted/) - LOL! Ya just think some damfool ailment is gone, and wooooooOOO, like Caspar the Ghost it's b-a-a-a-c-k!!! Here I thought the hip pain was magically healed...gone...free of limping and aching and whining!!!!! Uh. No. It's back now, and with a vengeance. What DID I do to bring it back? Nothing, that I can think of. Just sitting here, loafing - [And What to Do Next?](https://funny-about-money.com/and-what-to-do-next/) - Hmmm...ooohhkayyy.... I seem to have recovered from the spavined hip episode. That was weird...to say nothing of startlingly painful. Now, just a few hours later -- shortly after noon -- the pain is gone. As in GONE gone. That's weird. Dunno what made it start hurting, and don't know what made it stop hurting. **** - [YOW!!! Incredible pain!](https://funny-about-money.com/yow-incredible-pain/) - Holeee maquerel! This morning as I was puttering around the house, my right hip went out. As in OUT out...yow!!!! I don't think I've ever had anything hurt that much...and I had my baby without anaesthetic because I thought childbirth is supposed to hurt more than one's periods. (Hint: it doesn't.) Could barely walk, but - [Giddy-up!](https://funny-about-money.com/giddy-up/) - Two days later and, incredibly, we're STILL on the wagon! Who would've predicted it, eh? Now, I ain't a-gunna say that I don't miss a nice beer right about now -- come 4:20 in the afternoon. But neither am I gunna say that I'll keel over in a faint without it. The crazy-making peripheral neuropathy - [AAARRRRGHHH! Not to say "goddammit!"](https://funny-about-money.com/aaarrrrghhh-not-to-say-goddammit/) - Just went out in back to enjoy this morning's swiggle of coffee and... Yeah: Discovered that SOMEONE STOLE THE PILLOWS OFF THE BACK PORCH CHAIRS. God. Damm. It. !!!!!!! I made those pillows myself, to fit the chairs. With some difficulty, we might add. Had to drive clear across west Phoenix to get the cushions - [Morning Does Not Become Us...](https://funny-about-money.com/morning-does-not-become-us/) - Ayup! It's another gray, soggy morning in (un)lovely Arizona. Hot Muggy Stuffy Dim Whatever you touch goes HAYWIRE Why is that? The Haywire Effect, I mean. Most of the time, life the universe and all that goes along peaceably enough. But nay verily! Not today! It truly is an unpleasant morning. Hot and overcast. The - [Car? We Don't Need No Steenking Car!](https://funny-about-money.com/car-we-dont-need-no-steenking-car/) - LOL! Ever had that thought? The why am I spending 87 gerjillion bucks on this clunk thought? The what a PITA it is, schlepping this contraption in for its regular maintenance thought? Yeah..... Lately, I've been kinda haunted by that thought. Main reason is that it has slowly but steadily dawned on me, now that we have a lightrail - [Three sheets(????) to the Wind...](https://funny-about-money.com/three-sheets-to-the-wind/) - By way of soothing my son's concerns about my boozing habits, I've been on the wagon for the past few days. Blech! NOT my idea of pleasurable living. But WTF: refraining from my favorite potables (and from any potables) is easy enough...and probably not a bad idea. Presumably the spirits of my Christian Scientist forebears are - [Beloved Neighborhood, Beloved Neighbors](https://funny-about-money.com/beloved-neighborhood-beloved-neighbors/) - The ineffable Josie was out in her front yard, yanking weeds as Ruby and I ambled back home from our morning circumnavigation of the park. Josie lives in SDXB's old house. She came up from the daunting slums of South Phoenix -- the house purchased by the city and donated to her after the city - [Another Day, Another Thunderstorm...](https://funny-about-money.com/another-day-another-thunderstorm/) - Welp, I never did make it over to The Terraces (formerly Orangewood Retirement "Community"). Just as well, I suppose. Seriously: I do NOT want to live in an institutional environment. And especially not an institution designed to warehouse the elderly until they die. Given what those places cost, y'know... I could borrow against the paid-off - [Report from the Hubs.](https://funny-about-money.com/report-from-the-hubs/) - It's not that hot out there, really. At a few minutes to 8:00 a.m., the thermometer reads a mild 98 degrees. But it's WET. High, filmy white clouds lurk overhead. Apparently they're ushering in a ground-level cloud of sickening humidity. So...what we have is hot...wet...and miserable. Dawg and I are back from the morning park - [Round and Round They Go...](https://funny-about-money.com/round-and-round-they-go/) - And where they bite, no one knows. ARF! Actually, this morning's junket around the park was uneventful. Quiet. Arfifarious. Ruby declined to try to eat any of our fellow dog-walkers' companions. (Either that, or the dog-walkers have finally wised up a bit...) Weather was hot, humid, icky -- reminiscent of (un)lovely Saudi Arabia. Mornings like - [The Phone Is Not Your Friend](https://funny-about-money.com/the-phone-is-not-your-friend/) - The other day I learned something that just dropped my jaw! Telephone operators, despite any hallucination you may have to the effect that it's illegal to eavesdrop on you, sit there as they while away the workday hours and listen to customers' conversations. Noooo kidding! In the course of a discussion about my service and lack thereof, - [Trudge Trudge Trudge](https://funny-about-money.com/trudge-trudge-trudge/) - Holeee maquerel! WHAT a day!!! Trudged from pillar to post and back to pillar. Metaphorically, of course: most of the trudging was done in cars. My excellent son, Ian the Great, drove me way to Hell and Gone, from one fine Valley Center (the Mayo Clinic in North Phoenix) and through one fine commercial district - [The Choirless Sunday Proceeds](https://funny-about-money.com/the-choirless-sunday-proceeds/) - Hmmmmm.... So, the MayoQuacks are (again!) precluding my attending choir or even going to church by demanding that we traipse to the Mayo Clinic way to Hell and gone out in Scottsdale. Yes. That's damn near an hour's drive. Not like my son has nothing else to do with his time, either -- right? This - [Choirless Sunday](https://funny-about-money.com/choirless-sunday/) - Ugh. Still haven't figured out how to stay out of Orangewood, the prison for old folks [now called "The Terraces," apparently]. Oh well: I'll figure that out later...if it can be figured out. Meanwhile, it was off to the park with the Human and the Dog. Speaking of "Ugh!," the weather is sunny...and soggy. A - [Good Morning, Dogmerica!](https://funny-about-money.com/good-morning-dogmerica/) - Scarfety chomp munch munch scarf scarf chomp... Ruby's way of greeting the morning. Arf! we say to that. Lately back from the ayem tromp around the park. Apparently the Human tromped on an ant's nest: Crazy-itchy spots on the feet. Hey, stupid! Next time remember to wear a decent pair of shoes! :-D Honestly! Humans aren't - [Please, please make it harder to get a covid shot!](https://funny-about-money.com/please-please-make-it-harder-to-get-a-covid-shot/) - For the LOVE of Gawd!!!! Did you know that they're trying to force you to go to a doctor and get a prescription just to get a damn covid shot? Nooooo effing kidding!!!!! This afternoon I trotted up to the Albertson's, where staff were just beginning to demand that you show them a doctor's prescription to - [Why You Have a Kid...](https://funny-about-money.com/why-you-have-a-kid/) - Ever ask yourself that? Why DO you have a kid? Welp, I'll tellya: Its because your kid is smarter than you. Yep. That's it: no question. Chances are your kid started out smarter than you. But as time passed, the brat got smarter and smarter...the brat figured out more things...the brat adapted to the changing times... And - [Another Beautiful Day in Arizona... /eyeroll/](https://funny-about-money.com/another-beautiful-day-in-arizona-eyeroll/) - Ugh!!! Hotter than the Hubs out there this morning. And wet. Not raining, but so humid the air feels thick. Ruby the Corgi and I are just back from trudging around the park: the exercise walk of the day. It's so sticky out there, you feel like you're walking through cotton candy! M'hijito has got - [Good Morning, America! And...](https://funny-about-money.com/good-morning-america-and/) - ...DUCK FOR COVER! LOL! 8:00 in the morning, and you can hear those damn fighter jets from Luke Air Force Base all the way over here in North Central Phoenix! What A Racket! Yes, the Sound of Death is no lullabye. That's for sure. People who live in Sun City bitch nonstop about the noise from - [And I'm still doing this...WHY?](https://funny-about-money.com/and-im-still-doing-this-why/) - Keeerimineee! Gerardo's guys surfaced here. Roared around, banged around, raked around. Held out a hand: A HUNDRED BUCKS for one hour's worth of clean-up. Folks...I just paid them two weeks ago! Now, admittedly: I couldn't do that kind of work anymore, even if the temp outside were NOT 100 degrees just this moment, right at - [Wow! Not to Say Good Grief!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/wow-not-to-say-good-grief/) - Strolled down to the commercial corner at Main Drag South, there to find out if I need another covid shot...or what. Chatted with the pharmacist at the Albertson's. He said not. Apparently I'm now about as covid-proof as I'm gonna get. Which, I suspect, ain't 100%. It is hotter than the proverbial hubs out there. Left me highly resenting - [Snoop Snoop Human](https://funny-about-money.com/snoop-snoop-human/) - Here we are on Truthfinder, searching out dirt on an old neighbor and sorta-friend of mine. Their "search" is in-freaking-terminable! On and on and on and on.... And, as we all suspect, very probably a waste of time. This lady was married to a prominent lawyer here in town, at the same time my own - [Ripped!](https://funny-about-money.com/ripped/) - ...and ripped off? Criminey! Just had to order a new set of queen-sized sheets. The pair I've been using ripped up the middle (that's a new one on me!!). Forhevvinsake: FIFTY-FIVE BUCKS for one set of cotton sheets! This, because the G.D. Mayo Clinic took away my driver's license, so I can't in any sane - [A Revelation in Transit](https://funny-about-money.com/a-revelation-in-transit/) - Y'know... Over the past few days -- "weeks," really, is more like it -- a kinda startling revelation has occurred to me. Hang onto your hat, now: What with the proximity of key retail stores, the new lightrail running up and down Conduit of Blight Blvd., and a fleet of shiny new busses, I don't really need - [Tryin'to F'geddaboudit....](https://funny-about-money.com/tryinto-fgeddaboudit/) - Ever have memories that you seriously can NOT shake? You try to put events and stupid stuff behind you, but they just won't go away. That's how I remember my childhood in Saudi Arabia, stumbling miserably through the Ras Tanura Senior Staff School. It was a K-8 school for Aramco employees of the American variety. - [Re: Paul the Romanian Lover](https://funny-about-money.com/re-paul-the-romanian-lover/) - Oh! how my parents hated him!! They hated him for racist reasons -- in their minds, Romanian wasn't quite "white." But...truth to tell, they were right, only in ways they didn't understand. P. had no compunctions about theft. Or about cheating on one's wife. First time this came to my attention, he and I had - [And moving on...](https://funny-about-money.com/and-moving-on/) - Okay, so our call to the volunteer group that supposedly will help you get groceries and the like when you're carless in Gaza: that was a FAIL. What to do next? M'hijito has offered to come over and get groceries for me. That is an exceptionally generous offer!! As we all know, he has other things to - [GRONK! Another sylvan day in Arizona](https://funny-about-money.com/gronk-another-sylvan-day-in-arizona/) - Grrrr!!! I AIN'T GOIN'!!! No, nope, nooooo way! Not goin' out in that unholy swampy heat to hike three blocks to a grocery store. The dawg and I can go hungry, by dayum! Truth to tell, neither of us is about to go hungry. The larder has enough dog & human food to tide us - [Soggy Doggy Day](https://funny-about-money.com/soggy-doggy-day-5/) - Wait what? You say the sky is supposed to be blue??? Where DID you get that idea? :-D Another gray, soggy day. Grayer, even, than the last two days, which have been passing grim. When you are a corgi, though, you don't put up with any bellyaching from the Human. So, at Ruby's behest, it was out - [One of Those Days, Continued...](https://funny-about-money.com/one-of-those-days-continued/) - LOL! When I remarked in this morning's squib that this was gonna be one of those days, I wasn't far off the mark. :-D Ohhh well. It's entertaining, anyway. Strolled up to a favorite store in the nearby shopping center, there to ask the sales clerk if my driver's license actually is valid. He thought - [Trying Again...](https://funny-about-money.com/trying-again/) - And again...and again...and again.... Not even eight in the morning, and this has turned into One of Those Days! Nothing you try to do goes right! Right? Human & Dog are just back from a seemingly endless walk through a swampy morning. Around the park and through the 'Hood. The air is so wet it - [Joys of Olde Age](https://funny-about-money.com/joys-of-olde-age/) - Grrrrrrr!!!!!! Have you noticed that as you get older, you find it harder and harder to get routine things done? The stupidest things become major freakin' hassles! 6:15 this morning: Charging around the backyard, trying to get the potted plants watered before the dog and I go out for this a.m.'s doggy-walk. Checking on the pool. Generally - [Loaf-ifariousness](https://funny-about-money.com/loaf-ifariousness/) - Loafing seems to have become the Order of the Day. Ruby is snoozing at the foot of the bed. The Human regards the mere thought of getting off the sack and doing something constructive with...well...horror. :-D It's a decently walkable day, actually. A mere 101° in the shade of the back porch, as we're pushing - [Cool Dude!](https://funny-about-money.com/cool-dude/) - My son: definite COOL DUDE. The man took time off his job(!!) to schlep me up to the Mayo Clinic, there to get a blood test. That's a bit of a drive, and as you know, sitting around a doctor's waiting room is always an efficient use of your time. /eyeroll/ Drove me out to the - [Hotter Than the Hubs...Again...](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-the-hubs-again/) - Or "still"... Or something. Sunday... The AC has been pounding away. Don't even THINK of asking what the power bill is likely to be this month. Probably two or three hundred bucks. But...don't think about it. No. No thinking!! Today is Sunday. If I had any sense, I'd surface down at the church and rebuild - [Hotter than the Hubs](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-the-hubs-8/) - And now it's Saturday, a morning not one whit better than the one that came before and the one that came before that. HOT. Hot hot hot. 95 degrees in the shade of the back porch. Clammy. Sticky. Little dawg is scarfing water so frantically she's choking on it. Human is about to melt. Icky - [Heeee! It keeps getting better...](https://funny-about-money.com/heeee-it-keeps-getting-better/) - Well, by damn! I found a copy of my driver's license. Who would ever have expected such a thing? :-D So now I don't have to put up a friend or a taxi driver to schlep me down to the county and wait while I stand in line and I stand in line and I stand in - [Wetter than a By-Gawd!](https://funny-about-money.com/wetter-than-a-by-gawd/) - Yech! This has got to be one of the nastier mornings I've had the privilege of living through. By the time Ruby and I got back from circumnavigating the park, I was SOAKED with sweat and, presumably, dew. She's still swilling water, poor li'l thing. Ugly weather! Sticky, gray, and overcast. Ohhhh well. At least that meant - [Grrr! Makes a Landlord Look Good!](https://funny-about-money.com/grrr-makes-a-landlord-look-good/) - Here's another fine hassle to fart with this morning: check all the attic fans to see if they fall into this category. And thereby need to be replaced.... Arrrggghhhh! This is the kind of BS that makes you feel that renting is a good thing, as opposed to owning your place. If I lived in an apartment - [STILL hotter than the hubs...](https://funny-about-money.com/still-hotter-than-the-hubs/) - My GAWD!!!! Ruby and I: just back from our morning perambulation of the park. By 7:30, it was SOOO HOT and SOOO WET out there, the human was literally drenched. Horrible! Hideously reminiscent of (un)lovely Saudi Arabia, in the sun-scorched sand by the waves of the Persian Gulf. Gawdawful place!!!! So glad to NOT be - [And now: Eeeeeeps!](https://funny-about-money.com/and-now-eeeeeeps/) - WTF? Something there is about that sky that is giving this old bat the Serious Creeps. Further creepifying: I dunno what the "something" is. What we have out there is...hmmm.... heat high, fat cumulus style clouds heat mugginess heat high, thin web-like clouds drifting in with the cumulus clouds heat mugginess.... WTF? What IS it trying - [{Gasp!} {Pant!!}](https://funny-about-money.com/gasp-pant/) - Lordie, it is HOTTER THAN THE HUBS OF HADES out there. Two o'clock in the afternoon and it's 100 degrees in the deepest dark of the back-porch shade structure. Or... 105 degrees, according to Wunderground. So much for any bright ideas I might have had about making a run on the corner Fry's or the Sprouts - [Out the Door](https://funny-about-money.com/am-i-nuts-oh-yeah/) - So my son asked me to delete this post. Noooo problem!!! Such is the power of one's excellent son! :-D - [Okay, I give up....](https://funny-about-money.com/okay-i-give-up/) - Tooling along halfway through today's FaM post, when Wordpress CRASHED the post. Can't find it. Can't reconstruct it. AAAAARRRGHHHH! Like we don't have enough frustration in our ordinary boring lives? So: toss it all, forget it all, start over from scratch and f*ck it all. Especially the latter. Grrrrrrrrr! My son having purloined my vehicle, I - [Another Soggy Doggy Day](https://funny-about-money.com/another-soggy-doggy-day/) - 6:40 in the morning, and Ruby drags her human back in the house from the morning doggy-walk. The human is glad to get back indoors. It is overcast out there, and literally, the air IS so wet as to be soggy. We managed to avoid the park, which is the "long way" walk for us, and - [And further(glub!)more....](https://funny-about-money.com/and-furtherglubmore/) - As we were saying about what a fine, wet, HOT soggy morning this is...BE GLAD, BE VERY GLAD that you are not a lawn dude. Oh aaaaagh! What a job! It's 11:30 in the morning. Hotter than the Hubs outdoors. Ninety-five degrees, 15 percent humidity. Coming on to noon, and I'm sitting here exhausted from - [Rasty-Nasty Weather!](https://funny-about-money.com/rasty-nasty-weather/) - That's what my father called Ras Tanura, the company town where we spent ten years on the shore of the Persian Gulf: Rasty Nasty. Today's wet, soggy Arizona summer morning reminds one of Rasty Nasty. Hot and miserable: 93 degrees at 8:00 a.m.. No sign of rain that might leach some of the water out - [Glub!!!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/glub-3/) - You thought Arizona has "a dry heat," right? HAR HAR!!! Just now it feels like Ras Tanura did, when we lived there on the shore of the Persian Gulf: HOT and WET, WET, WETTER THAN WET. Ugh. Ghastly morning! Ruby and I: just back from circumnavigating the hood, through this very soggy doggy day. Ugh! Indeed. M'hijito - [Round and Round She Goes...](https://funny-about-money.com/round-and-round-she-goes-2/) - And where she stops, nobody cares... :-D My son alleges that he managed to get my driver's license invalidated. Which is to say, it is now illegal for me to drive. (Thus his excuse for hijacking my car, right?) Well. Ohhhhkayyyy. Who can tell us whether that's true? Who can say whether this little plastic-coated - [The Joys of Living in Phoenix](https://funny-about-money.com/the-joys-of-living-in-phoenix/) - 10:52 p.m. What a fukkin' ZOO this place is! Rousted by the dog: got up to let her out to do her Thing. Spotted a cop copter buzzing the neighb0rhood. Managed to urge the dog along and then dodge back in the house. Cop is still buzzing around over Main Drag West...essentially right over my - [Amor de Amazon...](https://funny-about-money.com/amor-de-amazon/) - How do I love Amazon? Let me count the ways! Here we are loafing on the bed with the dog, watching a fierce-looking storm come a-rolling in. And what have we done that's even faintly useful? Well: one real useful thing! We just ordered a leaf-skimming net from the beloved Amazon. This gadget is a device much - [Hot enough to fry your brain...if you still have one...](https://funny-about-money.com/hot-enough-to-fry-your-brain-if-you-still-have-one/) - WILL Wordpress let me back in this time??? Hmmmmmm..... The answer would appear to be "Yep!" But...let us hold our wind and water...we don't KNOW that it will let me post this squib. Ohhhh well...got nothin' else to do just now. M'hijito, my honored son, just called on the horn. He's on his way out - [Over the Hills and Through the 'Hood...](https://funny-about-money.com/over-the-hills-and-through-the-hood/) - Beautiful morning! Edging on to 10:15 as we scribble: a warm mid-morning, "hot"by some standards. Hmmmm.... Wonder what the mechanical opinion is? {tap tap tap...Enter...} Gosh! It's only 82 degrees out there! Feels a LOT warmer than that. Which implies some humidity is lurking around... Oh, yeah: 20 percent! Whew: A fifth of the atmosphere - [She's B-a-a-a-c-k!](https://funny-about-money.com/shes-b-a-a-a-c-k-2/) - Zowie! I'm in!! Wordpress has been blocking me from signing into the Funny About Money website. Just did something -- dunno what -- that suddenly let me into the site. Since I may not be able to get back, here's an update, of sorts... Things keep getting ridiculouser and ridiculouser. For myself: I'm slowly sinking into the - [What WAS the matter with us???](https://funny-about-money.com/what-was-the-matter-with-us/) - Ever have one of those reflective, memory-filled moments when you wonder..."Why didn't I do this?" or "Why didn't we do that?" Yeah...don't we all, eh? This afternoon I'm haunted by one of...well, the most haunting such moments. In the first chapter of our marriage, DXH and I lived in Phoenix's downtown Encanto district, a quaint - [Shades of Araby...](https://funny-about-money.com/shades-of-araby/) - It's not really that the exterior temperature is so hot. It's the humidity. Under high overcast come 11:44 a.m., it's 105 degrees in the shade of the back porch. Yes: that IS one hundred and five degrees. {gasp!} Wunderground claims it's 106 degrees (BFD!) with a 15% chance of rain in the next six hours. - [Hotter Than the Hubs...Crabbier Than a Dungeness Crab](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-the-hubs-crabbier-than-a-dungeness-crab/) - Man! It is passing cozy out there! Four in the afternoon and 110 in the shade of the back porch...augh!!! A modest bank of clouds lurks to the north...this would add humidity to the mix. How much, I wonder? Humidity: 16% Chance of rain: 24% Yech! And we live here...why? Totally not in the mood - [F'rgodsake, At Least Get the Story Straight!](https://funny-about-money.com/frgodsake-at-least-get-the-story-straight/) - The most ludicrous stuff is going on here. It's my fault, because behaviorally I do not hew to the standard American middle-class way of daily living. I grew up overseas, in a remote oil colony surrounded by a culture best described as "alien" to the American way of doing things. It was like living on - [Another Balmy Day in Arizona...](https://funny-about-money.com/another-balmy-day-in-arizona/) - "...Leave us all enjoy it," as one beloved radio announcer (now extinct) used to croon. Yeah. It's 5:25 in the afternoon and A HUNDRED AND NINE DEGREES in the balmy shade of the back porch. To gild that thermometer, a layer of overcast is drifting in from the east. So...it's hotter than the hubs out there -- and humid. Lovely. - [Freedom's Just Another Word...](https://funny-about-money.com/freedoms-just-another-word-3/) - ...for NEVER HAVING TO PUMP ANOTHER GALLON OF GAS into a hole in the ground into which to pour money. Seriously. Folks nearby seem to think I'm going to be stricken, heart-broken, ripped-off, and agonized at my son's making off with my Toyota Venza, and at the (amazingly short-sighted) docs at the Mayo Clinic issuing - [Muse Me No Muzak!](https://funny-about-money.com/muse-me-no-muzak/) - Daaayum, but I hate Muzak. Do you know anyone who actually likes to sit on the phone interminably listening to bing-bing-BONG-bing/bong bong BING bing pumped into their ear? Tried to call Young Dr. Kildare's new office, way to hell and gone out in Sun City, by way of canceling today's appointment. Ring 'em up and - [Lovely Morning in Uptown Phoenix...again](https://funny-about-money.com/lovely-morning-in-uptown-phoenix-again/) - Wunderground tells us our humidity is a mere 22%. Shoot! You can't even swim in that! Hot. Wet. Gray. Boring. Waiting for my son to pick me up and take me to see a new-to-me doc, one whose practice is way to Hell and Gone out near Sun City. Stupidly, eagerly...I picked this guy - [Daydreaming](https://funny-about-money.com/daydreaming/) - Daydreaming about moving away from the creeping urbanization of North Central: creeping like a fungus. Where would I go if I were gonna move away from here? This sounds monstrously complacent, but... Truth to tell, I can't think of many places I would want to go. Sun City: a ghetto for old folks, serenaded every morning by - [Staying Home; Getting Safe](https://funny-about-money.com/staying-home-getting-safe/) - So as I advance into my dotage, I do worry -- more and more -- about falls or confusion or strokes or Gawd Knows What could happen while I'm here alone. Between you'n'me, I happen to know my son worries about this issue, too. One way to address it, once and for all, is to - [And now...DIS-dislocated?????](https://funny-about-money.com/and-now-dis-dislocated/) - So yesterday I was whining about the excruciatingly sore hip and speculating that it must be dislocating and figuring that dammit I was gonna have to go to ANOTHER doctor and gaaaaaaaahhhh! ...and...uhm... now??? Now, as we scribble, I sit on the sofa without one twinge of pain. Naaaaahhhh...must be a hallucination. Get off the - [Huffa puffa...WOW](https://funny-about-money.com/huffa-puffa-wow/) - Hotter than the Hubs of Hades out there. It's only 11:15 in the morning, but the thermometer on the back porch reads 100 degrees. Objectively speaking, that ain't very hot...for Arizona, we mean. But it's a little humid out. So the heat...or whatever it is...strikes one as a shade (heh!) on the uncomfortable side. But - [The Evolution of Car-Freedom](https://funny-about-money.com/the-evolution-of-car-freedom/) - Another (un)lovely day in Phoenix. Leave us all FLEE it... LOL! That's a take-off on the daily pitch of a guy who, back in the Day, was probably Phoenix's all-time greatest morning talk-show host. He's long gone now. But anyone who's been in the Valley for a lifetime or so remembers his daily greeting: It's - [Augh! SPARE Me, Lord!](https://funny-about-money.com/augh-spare-me-lord/) - Well, we've got about 2.5 hours before my son shows up to drag me back out to the Mayo Clinic -- on the far side of Scottsdale, halfway to freakin' Payson -- for another time-wasting yack-fest. These supposedly therapeutic sessions consist of gathering about two dozen old farts around a large conference table, where we - [Idle Question of the Day...](https://funny-about-money.com/idle-question-of-the-day/) - Why, after my mother died, did my father choose to enter the Orangewood "Retirement Community" (read "prison for old folks") rather than the Beatitudes, a larger and more established prison? I could walk to either of these places from here. If I could afford to give this house to my son (moot: when I have - [Which Way to Jump? If Jump at All...](https://funny-about-money.com/which-way-to-jump-if-jump-at-all/) - So this morning I'm idly thinking of walking down to the Beatitudes (since my son has kiped my car) and looking into how much it would cost to move into that old-folkerie. A lot, I can tellya. After my mother died, my father moved into one of those places. It cost just about everything he - [Glub!](https://funny-about-money.com/glub-2/) - Wow, what a horrid morning. By the time the dawg and I got home from peregrinating around the park and Lower Richistan, I was soaking wet. It is so humid out there that you come inside with your clothes soggy. Meanwhile, fighter jets ROOOOOAAR out of Luke Air Force Base, preparing for the next World War, My mother used - [Still More Existential Agonizing](https://funny-about-money.com/still-more-existential-agonizing/) - My poor son is freaking out because -- with some reason -- he thinks I drink wayyy too much booze. And y'know...the truth is, even a glass or so a day is prob'ly too much. My parents always had a cocktail or two before dinner. And as I reached the Drinking Age, I came to - [The Night Comes...](https://funny-about-money.com/the-night-comes/) - Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Though wise men at their end know dark is right, Because their words had forked no lightning they Do not go gentle into that good night. Good men, the - [How Did They Live That Long?](https://funny-about-money.com/how-did-they-live-that-long/) - Old age is creepin' up, y'know. Where the heck did THAT come from, eh???? Welp...as I get older, I do find myself wondering... * How DID I get this old? * How much older will I get? and * Do I care? * What can I do to stay in my home until I croak - [Joys (and Amazements!) of Cultural Difference](https://funny-about-money.com/joys-and-amazements-of-cultural-difference/) - Ever notice how differently people from different cultures do things in daily life? :-D The current amusement, here at the Funny Farm, has to do with toothpaste. Wonder Cleaning Lady, that gift from Heaven to our house, is totally flummoxed by the Old Bat's habits in dental cleaning. Ohhhh weirdness... I like to brush my teeth not - [Dog & Human & Heat & Humidity](https://funny-about-money.com/dog-human-heat-humidity/) - 8:25 in the morning. Back-porch thermometer says 95 degrees in the shade. And WET. Wet as fukkin' Saudi Arabia. Wunderground says a mere 11% humidity...but I wouldn't believe that. It is plain downright SOGGY out there in back. Wanna fix coffee and food, but don't feel like ingesting anything: it's just too hot! Ruby and - [Deliver me the chow!](https://funny-about-money.com/deliver-me-the-chow/) - Okay, here we are in the 21st century, whither Yours Truly just arrived. As we scribble, it is hotter than the hubs of Hades here in lovely uptown Phoenix. I need to go to a grocery store: the only chow with which our shelves are well stocked just now is...yeah...dog food! The human needs meat. It needs - [HOW do dogs know????](https://funny-about-money.com/how-do-dogs-know/) - Doggy telepathy, right? Obviously, Ruby can see me sit down. Get comfortable. Open the computer on my lap. Start playing with it. But how does she know the exact moment when really, truly, I do not want to drop everything, get up, traipse across the house, open the back door, and let her out? She does know. Absolutely. And there - [Hotter than the Hubs](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-the-hubs-7/) - 6:15 p.m., and it's 105 on the back porch. The back porch wherein no sunlight penetrates.... {whine whinge!!} It's SO hot, so miserable that it's hard to believe this is Arizona. Yeah, it does get HOT in Arizona. But as we like to brag, "it's a dry heat." Today the oven appears to be attached - [Hot and Hellish](https://funny-about-money.com/hot-and-hellish/) - Lovely, lovely Arizona. At 3:30 in the afternoon, it's 108 in the shade of the back patio. And overcast. Got that? 108 under a blanket of gray clouds. What a place! Almost as lovely as lovely Arabia. Ick! My son, figuring to protect me from myself (somebody has to, right?), brought over a few cans of - [Hotter than the Hubs; Ever Amazing](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-the-hubs-ever-amazing/) - Holeeeee maquerel, is it hot out there! In the shade of the patio shade structure, tucked away among the leaves and branches of the big old ficus plant, the thermometer measures 108 degrees. My excellent son charged out into the blasting heat and returned with a pile of chow and treats from the Sprouts -- - [How'm I Gonna Get it???](https://funny-about-money.com/howm-i-gonna-get-it/) - Well. I ain't a gonna get it. Wine, that is. From the nearest fancy yuppy grocery store. Because I can't get to said store without risking my life. And I ain't a-gonna risk my life for a bottle of Sauvignon blanc. No kidding: As we scribble, the temperature in the deepest shade of the back porch registers - [ohhhh well....](https://funny-about-money.com/ohhhh-well/) - 11:20 Friday night: And dayum! Here I thought this vicious ailment was getting a little better...but ohhhhh no! It's back with a burning, tingling, hurting vengeance. LOL! Do not annoy the Gods of Pain, whatever ya do! Seriously, by evening I (stupidly) did think it was slacking off. Getting a little better. Becoming tolerable. Har har har! - [Eeeps! Sell Car? Get Free? Whaaaaa!](https://funny-about-money.com/eeeps-sell-car-get-free-whaaaaa/) - O...M...G... Contemplating the idea of selling the car, as I was throwing myself around fixing dinner, suddenly gave me SUCH an emotional overload that, briefly, I thought I was gonna pass out. Such is the power of cultural tradition, eh? :-D Told M'hijito about this idea. To my amazement, he didn't seem especially exercised about - [And Yet ANOTHER Wild-Eyed Radical Idea...](https://funny-about-money.com/and-yet-another-wild-eyed-radical-idea/) - Hmmmm.... If you read my past few posts, you'll get the distinct impression that I'm in the middle of some kind of life-changing revelation. Changes to the left of me, changes to the right of me, wack-shit ideas pouring in from all directions. Well, it's not quite that radical. But something has happened that presents the potential - [Idle Reverie of the Day](https://funny-about-money.com/idle-reverie-of-the-day/) - Hotter than the Hubs outside. No car...not that I would go anywhere if one was sitting out there in the garage. Wasting time on the Internet. One of my fave time-wasters: real estate ads. Another fave: reminiscing about growing up, and our time in the San Francisco Bay Area. This little place looks kinda like - [Time to Exit, Stage Left?](https://funny-about-money.com/time-to-exit-stage-left/) - Hmmm... The last couple days' Incidents keep returning to haunt. In specific, those two social-workerish women who showed up at my door and sat around quizzing me and altogether too obviously assessing my (spotlessly clean!!!) surroundings...eeeeeee! I'll tellya: reflecting on those two really gives me the willies. Who reported to them that I was being - [Hotter Than the Hubs](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-the-hubs-6/) - Now, waitaminit here. How do we know the Hubs of Hades are hot? Some cultures picture the domain of the afterlife as colder than a by-gawd. Could be, I suppose. Oh well. Dawg and I are back from an hour's perambulation of the 'Hood. And yes, it IS damn hot out there. Worse, though: it's humid. Sticky. - [Outta Here?](https://funny-about-money.com/outta-here/) - Hmmmm.... IS it time to get outta here? I'm thinking, the more I contemplate events of the past week or so, that it surely is time: that I need to get on the road NOW, not later. Hire a Realtor to unload the palace. Pack up the chariot. Toss the dawg in and jump in after her. - [Weird-weather Day](https://funny-about-money.com/weird-weather-day/) - Just back from marching thru the 'Hood with Ruby the Corgi. ICK! What a weird morning. It's overcast...and hot! Doubt if it will rain -- that would cool it off, eh? None o' that nonsense in these sylvan pastures! :-D We strolled down into Lower Richistan, an affluent neighborhood to the south of the 'Hood. - [August 5 Heat, Continued...](https://funny-about-money.com/august-5-heat-continued/) - So the day that I began describing this morning has trundled on. And on. And on. Now it's late afternoon. Hotter than a two-dollar cookstove out there. No kidding: As we scribble, the back porch thermometer registers 110 degrees in the shade of the back porch overhang! Yeah: that's 110 in the shade! :-o WHAT - [Holee Ess-aitch-ai! Does this stuff NEVER stop?](https://funny-about-money.com/holee-ess-aitch-ai-does-this-stuff-never-stop/) - So I'm trotting around the house, having just climbed out of the bathtub in the heat of the afternoon...wads of wet hair cascading around my shoulders, when BING BONNNGGGG! Somebody at the front door, dammit. It's a woman looking for Josie, my neighbor to the north. I explain that she needs to proceed another block - [Hee heeee! And I imagined I was drinking...WHAT?](https://funny-about-money.com/hee-heeee-and-i-imagined-i-was-drinking-what/) - My goodness. Sometimes one does wonder if somehow one is absorbing a little whiskey through the air! What on EARTH??????? Just now, I'm puttering around the Funny Farm and thinking, ohhhhh, I'd like to walk up to the grocery store and buy a cool li'l snack and also something for the Doggy-Woggy! Ohhhhhh, wouldn't that be - [Take Me Home, Lord!](https://funny-about-money.com/take-me-home-lord/) - Well, actually....hold that thought, Your Lordship. "Home" was grody Ras Tanura, an American compound on the shore of the Persian Gulf. You don't wanna live there. And I sure don't! Never again!!!! This morning, though, the weather here as weirdly reminiscent of Ras Tanura's: hot, sticky, stuffy...so wet as almost to be foggy. Horrible place there. And - [Hotter than a Two-Dollar Cookstove...](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-a-two-dollar-cookstove-4/) - Jayzuz!! As we scribble -- at 6:05 p.m..,early evening! -- it's 109 degrees out there on the back porch. Got that? A hundred and nine degrees in the freakin' SHADE of the back porch!!!!! Auuughhhh! Even (un)lovely Saudi Arabia never got THIS warm and cozy. Horrible!!!!! We lived right on the shore of the Persian Gulf, - [In the Land of Looney Toons...](https://funny-about-money.com/in-the-land-of-looney-toons/) - Welp, speaking of Looney: I've lost the post I was writing. In it, I went on at length about an alarming incident: a surprise visit from a pair of social workers, who apparently were trying to elicit evidence that some of my marbles have rolled out my ears. Luckily, Wonder Cleaning-Lady had just been here, - [Tired of Stupid!!!!!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/tired-of-stupid/) - So a few minutes before 8 a.m., Ruby the Corgi and I get back to the house after an hour's trudge through unholy heat and humidity. ALL I WANT is to get back in the house, back in the air-conditioning, and sit down with a glass of water in my paw. But nooooooo....NOT A CHANCE! - [Another Beautiful Day in Arizona...](https://funny-about-money.com/another-beautiful-day-in-arizona-5/) - "Leave us all enjoy it," as one long-gone local radio personality used to intone, every morning. Ugh! I'd like to leave it, all right. But with M'hijito living here in town, I'm ain't about to go anywhere. Leave us all enjoy it. Sure. Right now it's a chilly 95 in the shade of the back - [Delivery? HOT diggety!](https://funny-about-money.com/delivery-hot-diggety/) - Eight o'clock in the morning and already hotter than the Hubs of Hades outside. Without a car, I need to get going RIGHT NOW to hit the Sprouts, the Albertson's or the Fry's to buy the groceries I need. But...but...I also want breakfast. More than I want to go grocery shopping. By far... The coffee - [Beloved Contract Workers....](https://funny-about-money.com/beloved-contract-workers/) - Bein' an old lady alone with a 25-pound dog in lovely Phoenix, well...natcherly I have a swimming pool, right? And natcherly it takes up about a third of the back yard. And, it bein' a swimming pool, natcherly it has to be kept clean. In lovely Arizona, maintaining a pool involves much more than a - [BBBRRRRAAAAAAAACCCCKKKKK!](https://funny-about-money.com/bbbrrrraaaaaaaacccckkkkk/) - LOL! Here's something you need to learn to do in your dotage: Get used to people (what sometimes feels like mobs of other people) roiling around in your space and in your face, making a racket and making a nuisance of themselves. :-D Usually this nuisanceferizing happens with THE best of intentions. Your grousing about it - [Hotter than a three-dollar cookstove...](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-a-three-dollar-cookstove-2/) - ...as my father used to say about the lovely weather in the garden spot that was Saudi Arabia. As we scribble, the back-porch thermometer claims the temperature is 108 in the shade. Yeah. That's degrees Fahrenheit. Ye gawds! It makes Arabia look balmy. But...but...seriously: it's 12:30 in the afternoon. Earlier in the day -- shortly - [And all these years I've been paying...for WHAT?](https://funny-about-money.com/and-all-these-years-ive-been-paying-for-what/) - Thanks to my son's recent sh!tfit, I've made a huge discovery: For lo! these many years, I've been paying through the schnozola for that damn car sitting out there in the garage, little guessing that in truth, I can get wherever I want to go in lovely uptown Phoenix for less than it costs to - [Summertime, And the Livin' Is...](https://funny-about-money.com/summertime-and-the-livin-is-2/) - ...the livin' is sauna-like! :-D You should be here to enjoy a fine, humid 102-degree day... Uhm...well, no...maybe you shouldn't. Seriously: it's like a steam-bath outdoors just now. Hotter than the proverbial hubs, and SOGGY. It puts the eefus on my plan to walk over to the nearby Sprouts and raid their fruit and veggie bins. - ["Another Beautiful Day in Arizona...](https://funny-about-money.com/another-beautiful-day-in-arizona-4/) - "...Leave us all enjoy it!" LOL! That was the buzz-phrase of a long-time local radio personality here. He had a morning show, and every day he opened with that little theme-phrase. "Beautiful" is not the word I'd use today...especially if you have to go outdoors in it! Yes, it's clear and sunny. Yes, at this - [A Hundred WHATS????!!??](https://funny-about-money.com/a-hundred-whats/) - HOLEE DOGGEREL! Gerardo the Lawn Dude's guys just finished blowering and raking the front and back 40. His head dude knocks on the Arcadia door and asks to be paid. "How much?" "$100." HOLEE SHEE-UT! That's up from the $80 they usually charge. Forgodsake: we're not talking about any extra work here. Nothing special. Just - [Why?](https://funny-about-money.com/why-5/) - I do believe that she knew what she was doing. She knew smoking causes cancer. That revelation was in every print and broadcast medium in the English language. She knew what dying of cancer was about. She had watched her mother die of it as she attended the woman on her deathbed. She knew her - [Soggy Doggy Day](https://funny-about-money.com/soggy-doggy-day-4/) - 7:34 a.m. Another soggy-doggy day in (un)lovely Arizona. Just back from the morning stroll around the neighborhood with Ruby the Corgi. Ugh!!!! It's sooo hot and sooo wet out there it feels like a seaside morning in accursed Saudi Arabia. Not quite that soggy, though. There, you'd wake up to clear skies in the morning to see water dripping off the - [Back at the Hubs...](https://funny-about-money.com/back-at-the-hubs/) - Quarter to eight in the morning. Hot. Sticky. Yucky out there. The balmy weather blocks all but the balmiest of dog owners from circumnavigating the park, so Ruby the Corgi and I had the place almost to ourselves. Traipsed down Main Drag Central. Eastward across Fancy-Dan Street South. Back north along Palm Row...passed the lady who HATES - [Arf, we say. ARF!!](https://funny-about-money.com/arf-we-say-arf-2/) - Too, too WONNERFUL! M'jito brought his beautiful new puppy over this afternoon! The little gal is a lovely little white golden retriever, fluffy all over and cute as can be. Friendly. Cute! Unfazed by Ruby. Cute! Full of ginger. Cute! Everyone needs a puppy. All. the. time. Right? This little pooch will be a worthy - [Ninety degrees at seven-forty...](https://funny-about-money.com/ninety-degrees-at-seven-forty/) - Yeah, you read that right, far as it goes: Just now it's 7:40 in the morning, and the thermometer reads 90 degrees in the shade of the back porch. Ugh! Dawg and I just returned from a stroll around the park -- about a mile or so. Ruby is SO ridiculously cute and adorable that - [What Happened to Her?](https://funny-about-money.com/what-happened-to-her/) - Yknow... Sometimes in idle moments I wonder what happened to my mother to make her SO SCARED. Something must have happened. You wouldn't be that terrorized of ordinary daily living unless something had happened to you. When DXH and I lived downtown, we had a beautiful old classic rich person's house in the historic part of the - [Hot and Wet!](https://funny-about-money.com/hot-and-wet/) - Nasty weather here in (un)lovely uptown Phoenix: hot and wet! No, it's not raining (yet). As we scribble by the 8:30 light of a stuffy dawn, the back porch thermometer registers a balmy 90 degrees. But Wunderground predicts a high of 108 -- ah, lovely! Humidity: a mere 12%. Things could be worse, as we - [Yuck! ...and... WHY am I Here???](https://funny-about-money.com/yuck-and-why-am-i-here/) - Hot. Humid. Sticky. Feels almost like Arabia. The park: overrun with early-morning dog-walkers, all trying to get the daily calisthenics out of the way before it gets seriously hot. All these folks leave their IQ points at home when they take their dogs out. So, when you have an aggressive dog -- especially one as - [Report from the Hubs of Hades](https://funny-about-money.com/report-from-the-hubs-of-hades-5/) - gaaaahhhh!!! At 5;40 in the evening, it's 104 in the shade of the back porch. Wunderground says the chance of rain is 0% (ya don't say, Jose?). We're told the weather's relatively cool for this time of year, though supposedly a blast of heat is due next week: around 110º. Uh huh. Just back from - [Porch Pirate Heaven](https://funny-about-money.com/porch-pirate-heaven/) - My house has a nice big courtyard in front, with two entry gates: one on the east side and one on the west side. This makes for a pleasant and welcoming front porch, and it also provides a nice fenced-in patio where Ruby the Corgi can watch the passers-by. And bark at them. Especially if - [](https://funny-about-money.com/40631-2/) - Remembering Paul P., my college boyfriend. How my parents hated him!!! Mostly, I think, because of his ethnicity. It would have made more sense to hate him because he introduced me to alcohol and sex when I was about 17 or 18. This was in my junior year, which would have been about 1964. Paul - [Arfa -EEEK!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/arfa-eeek/) - OMG! Is there a reason I can't keep track of dates and times? Some sort of learning disability? WHAT? Moment of panic just now: Calendar seemed to say I missed an appointment with WonderDentist. Eeek thrash bang thrash eeeeek!!! Look stuff up. Call the kid. (He plans to drive me over to the doc's office.) And...and...nope! It's - [Lone Wolf Howls at Moon...](https://funny-about-money.com/lone-wolf-howls-at-moon/) - Aaa-rooooooo! Leave me alone, goddamit!!! SNAP BITE! LOL! Wednesday: Not sure whether this is a Cleaning-Lady Day. But I don't think it is. Sure as Hell hope not, anyway. Talk about your ingrates, eh?! Here I am, loafing in a spotless house, and WHINING because the person who keeps the damn place spotless is likely to - [Hotter Than a Three-dollar Cookstove!](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-a-three-dollar-cookstove/) - LOL! That was one of my father's favorite sayin's, usually applied to a car -- or to a warm afternoon. And as we lived out in Saudi Arabia, on the arid and fricaseeing shores of the Persian gulf, it was often a particularly germane folk phrase. He grew up in Texas, though in fact he - [And speakin' of real estate...](https://funny-about-money.com/and-speakin-of-real-estate/) - ...as we were saying yesterday, briefly, Zillow claims my li'l middle-class house is worth (hang onto your hat) $563,000! And change. What???????? Over half a million dollars for an aging tract house within walking distance (easy walking distance) of a dangerous slum? Seriously???? And horrors! **** I return to the idle thought that maybe I ought to - [Hotter than the Hubs!](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-the-hubs-5/) - Seriously: hotter than the hubs of Hades out there. At 7:20 in the morning, the shaded(!) back-porch thermometer reads 85 degrees...but you couldn't prove that by me. Ask me, and I'll guess 95 to 100. * Wet. * Overcast. * And hot. A humid day like this is NOT a typical Arizona number. Generally, "it's - [I'm IN!](https://funny-about-money.com/im-in/) - Geez, FaM's website let me in! I lost the log-in data and for awhile thought...well...that's the end of scribbling blog posts! Whether I can get in again remains to be seen. Didn't think the code I entered would work, so...I didn't write it down. Hoping that today will not be another Day from Hell. It's - [To Move...or Not to Move](https://funny-about-money.com/to-move-or-not-to-move/) - The other day I enjoyed some time socializing with a business acquaintance/friend, Ken, and his very pleasant wife. They live in a planned housing development called McCormick Ranch, out in ritzy-titzy Scottsdale: They have a nice little condo with a sweet patio verging on greenswards that make splendid hiking space. Their apartment's not very big - [G-D Phone Solicitors!](https://funny-about-money.com/g-d-phone-solicitors/) - They got a late start this morning: it's already 8:14! One ringy-dingy two ringy-dingies three ringy-dingies...and here's the start of the sales pitch. The targeted victim emits a high-pitched stream of obscenities, followed by BITCH! STAY OFF MY PHONE!!!!!!! She's probably in jail. Phone soliciting is a prison industry, so a fair number of the - [Weird Little Experience...](https://funny-about-money.com/weird-little-experience/) - Now, HOW on earth did I know????? Wonder-Cleaning Lady just emailed to say she wouldn't be able to come shovel out the Funny Farm this week. And that's fine...she has -- you know -- a life, if you can imagine. But the weird thing is...yesterday evening and then again this morning I thought, clear as - [Lazy Hazy Crazy Day of Summer...](https://funny-about-money.com/lazy-hazy-crazy-day-of-summer/) - LOL! Twenty after 9:oo in the morning -- Sunday -- and the Human & the Hound are back from our daily perambulation of the neighborhood park. It's a nice, grassy spread, surrounded by rows of upper-middle-class homes. Very pretty, nice and quiet: Dawg Hevvin! Today, though, is hot, stuffy, and overcast. To perfect that scenario, - [Movin' Movin' Movin'....](https://funny-about-money.com/movin-movin-movin/) - LOL! This morning I happened to find myself contemplating my lifetime on the move. In the years since I was born to life on this planet, I have moved house twenty-five times. That's just the places I can remember. Without a doubt, several others occurred when I was too little to know or remember much of - [Ugh! Through the Swamp](https://funny-about-money.com/ugh-through-the-swamp/) - Just back from this morning's Doggy-Walk. HORRIBLE out there: it's like a damn swamp. Ohhh well...it cut down the number of merrie dawg-walkers, anyway. Nowhere near as many nitwits who think their dog (and your dog) are basically four-legged kids. Is there a reason people are so stump-dumb stupid? Anyway,the dog is fed and watered and walked. - [My poor father!](https://funny-about-money.com/my-poor-father/) - He would have been trying to save the equivalent of something over a million dollars in today's money. I doubt if he would have thought of it in those terms. He surely was aware that a hundred grand (his coveted goal) was a lot of money for a working-class guy. But a MILLION BUCKS' worth? Probably not - [7:00 a.m.: The Moron Hour](https://funny-about-money.com/700-a-m-the-moron-hour/) - Why IS it that every moron on the planet turns out of their house at 7 in the morning? With their dog, o'course! Just back from the morning DoggyWalk. Nasty morning: hot, overcast, and wet. Back porch thermometer registers a mere 85 degrees. Days like this, sometimes rain just coalesces out of the air. Don't - [BREAK TIME!!!!!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/break-time/) - Okay, it's time for Funny to take a little vacation. :-D Seriously: I seem to have teetered off the Deep End and begun to write bizarre stuff in these posts. I've not been aware of the bizarritude, but when a friend brought a moment of Looney Toons to my attention, I thought...well...EGAD!!!!! What on earth - [{chortle!} In the Department of Wacksh!t...](https://funny-about-money.com/chortle-in-the-department-of-wacksht/) - {chortle!!!} Noooo, I am not taking Funny about Money off the air because some sensitive soul imagines one of its posts is...is...really????...is suicidal. No kidding. The more I study it, the stupider it looks. Seriously. WHERE in any of the posts that have appeared over the past three weeks is there any hint of suicidal ideation? Let's see what topics we've had - [Still Kickin'](https://funny-about-money.com/still-kickin-4/) - Okay...not to say grrrrrr.... Funny about Money is still online, despite the momentary threat to its existence. So far no one has tried (actively, anyway) to force me to take the site down. So...I dearly hope THAT dust has settled. Just back from a Ruby-free hike around the 'Hood. It's too, TOO hot to take the little - [Reeeel Estate!](https://funny-about-money.com/reeeel-estate/) - Gosh! Lookeee here! This high-rise is just down the street from where DXH and I used to live, right in the center of the toniest part of mid-town Phoenix. How kewl can you get, eh? Seriously: I do like this li'l hovel. It's literally right down the street from where DXH and I used to - [Morning in Aridzona...](https://funny-about-money.com/morning-in-aridzona/) - Brrrrr! It's mighty cold out there come seven in the morning: just 89 degrees. In fact, even for lovely uptown Phoenix, that's hot and muggy. The air is so damp it's practically squishy. Ruby and the Human: just back from circumnavigating the 'Hood: over to the park, down the street that parallels the south side of - [Bye, All!](https://funny-about-money.com/bye-all/) - Forgodsake. Apparently a coreligionist of mine complained to my son about a post that appeared at Funny -- she didn't like something I'd posted. From what I can tell, she imagined it was a threat to commit suicide. !!!!!!! So, I'm going to have to take Funny about Money off line. Throw it away. So - [Hotter than the Hubs & Crazier than a Loon](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-the-hubs-crazier-than-a-loon/) - Actually, it's relatively cool out there on the back porch: only 105° in the shade. Which is just NOT that hot. My son is on his way over here -- or soon will be -- presumably to scold the bedoodles out of me. Again. Apparently I was rude to one of my coreligionists. Again. Gawd - [For the Luvva Gawd](https://funny-about-money.com/for-the-luvva-gawd/) - Sooo..., I post a famous poem by Dylan Thomas, and some nincompoop calls my son and tells him I'm fukkin SUICIDAL???????? Holeeeeee shit! What IS the matter with people? And why the HELL don't high schools and universities require their idiot students to take at least one course in literature every semester? No, dear Reader. - [And QUADRUPLE-ARRRRRRGHHH!](https://funny-about-money.com/and-quadruple-arrrrrrghhh/) - So some long-time workmen who are pretty reliable fellas show up. They're puttering around...and somehow.... SOMEHOW... ...they get ahold of my front door keys and they fuck them up with élan!!!!!!! My GAWD! None of the keys works any of the locks or none of the locks or whateverthehell...WHAT A MESS!!!!!!!! HOW THE HELL DID THEY DO - [Arrrrghhhh!!!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/arrrrghhhh/) - Puhleeeezzze, li'l computer! Let me enter ONE (1) new post without another disaster! Just got sat down to wrestle with this thing, when BING -BONGGGGGG!! Yard dude at the front door. I'm so harried with the damn computer that i don't remember why I called him!!!!! Nor, in the course of yakking with him, does it - [](https://funny-about-money.com/40520-2/) - Back home right at 7:30 a.m. from a dog-and-human walk around the neighborhood: circumnavigating the park, roaming through the ritzy-titzy part of the 'Hood, trotting past a major grocery store, past a 24-hour clinic, past the Sprouts, past the Walgreen's...and... ..And WHY, again, have I been driving my car from the smallest pillar to the - [WHAT IF...you didn't need a car?](https://funny-about-money.com/what-if-you-didnt-need-a-car/) - What if, here in the Great Newnited States of America, here in the ninth-largest city in the nation, on the tenth day of the seventh month of the 25th year of the 20th century, one discovered that...hang onto your hat...that one really didn't need a car? Got that? Holeee shee-ut. What if a person living - [Woof!](https://funny-about-money.com/woof/) - Good freakin' morning, America! Five-thirty in the freakin' morning, and the dawg just rousted me out of the sack, barfing. Actually, I'm not sure she actually woofed up. Got her outside before she threw up, and she then seemed sorta OK. Then I stumbled inside. She just roamed back in and appears not to be - [Corner of Hell and Hades....](https://funny-about-money.com/corner-of-hell-and-hades/) - HOOleee keerap! It was hot when I left the Albertson's to walk home with a small armful of groceries. My GOD what torture! I hafta tellya... For sure: I'll never buy groceries at that Albertson's again. As we scribble, it's 115 in the shade of the back porch. Wunderground says it's 116. Out in the - [EGAD!](https://funny-about-money.com/egad/) - Holee doggerel! Temps here are supposed to hit 117 today. Nice and cozy, eh? Ruby the Corgi and I were out the door by 7 a.m. or so...and it didn't seem any hotter than usual. Maybe it's just that for most humans, our version of "no hotter than usual" is the same as "too damn hot"... - [WTF?????](https://funny-about-money.com/wtf-2/) - Okay, friends...and yes, dear foes: I'm about to tell you something I probably shouldn't tell you. Or anyone. Stuff is scaring the Hell out of me...even though it probably shouldn't. Weird stuff. Stupid stuff. Even serious rational stuff. For example... I lost my bicycle. Yeah. Lost it BIG time. Don't know where. Don't know how. - [How DO they compete?](https://funny-about-money.com/how-do-they-compete/) - Yea, verily: HOW do local stores compete with Amazon? Just found myself running low on coffee grounds, something I'd ordinarily buy at AJ's Overpriced Fancy-Dan Grocery Store. But... but... * My car has been purloined. No way I can get it back from the kid. And I can't get to AJ's without a car, or - [Fricasseed!](https://funny-about-money.com/fricasseed/) - And very likely, my toast is...toasted. Yesterday afternoon I enjoyed a fine heat stroke. Yes, I do know what that is. Yes, I do know the symptoms. And Yes, I do know what it feels like... Because I've had one before. In Arabia, when I was about 10 or 12 years old. It's a hot and humid sand - [Back!!(wards...)](https://funny-about-money.com/backwards/) - WHY does the Cleaning Lady do this???? No matter how many times she's been here -- and it's been dozens & dozens -- she invariably installs the roll of kitchen towels backward. EVERY TIME. Backward: no matter what. :-D I like paper towels to unroll over the top, with the loose end coming toward the user. This, - [And Speakin' of ARGHA!...](https://funny-about-money.com/and-speakin-of-argha/) - BING BOOONGGGGGGG! Ohhhh gawd, NOW what? Stumble to the front door. It's the CLEANING LADY FROM HEAVEN! Ohhh damn ohhh hell I thought NEXT week was her week.... Stumble out to the living room. Let her in. Start to pick up litter. And pick up litter.... And pick up litter.... And pick up litter.... And - [Glub!!](https://funny-about-money.com/glub/) - Hot! Humid. Light overcast. Not enough to rain -- which might clear out the swampy effect. Just enough to create misery. Dawg and I have circumnavigated the 'Hood again...pretty much a daily ritual. My bike is still missing: either purloined by my son or stolen by a passer-by. The upshot is the same. Whenever I - [Gasp! Huff! Puff!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/gasp-huff-puff/) - Just back from about two miles through 105-degree heat. HOLEE shee-ut! Not only hot out there, but passing muggy. If I had any sense, I'd plunge into the pool. But... a) No, I have no sense; and b) It's 107 in the shade out there on the back porch Jayuz, it's almost as miserable as - [EEEEEEK! Be scared! Be VERY scared!!](https://funny-about-money.com/eeeeeek-be-scared-be-very-scared/) - LOL! People are SO freakin' ridiculous! Ruby and I are perambulating the north-eastern quadrant of the 'Hood. This area is sandwiched between a broad, green park to the south and a desert wilderness area to the north. As we stroll along, we run into Wile E. Coyote, a resident of that wilderness park. He presumably - [Joys of the Computer Age](https://funny-about-money.com/joys-of-the-computer-age/) - ARGHA! WordPress -- the platform that hosts Funny about Money -- wants me to diddle away some time and energy updating this and dorking with that. Like I have nothin' else to do, right? Now I have to pester our honored Web Guru -- who also has nothin' else to do, right? -- to get him to - [Why fireworks are illegal...](https://funny-about-money.com/why-fireworks-are-illegal/) - https://www.fox10phoenix.com/news/pacoima-fireworks-explosion-california Good grief! - [July 4, 2025: 7:30 a.m.](https://funny-about-money.com/july-4-2025-730-a-m/) - Accuweather: Humidity 50% at 7:37 a.m., wind 3 mph Predicts a high of 103. Yeah…it’s gotta be that already! Shindig in the park: July 4. Place is overrun with kids and dogs and grown-ups. Shenanigans under way. IMHO, w-a-a-y-y too hot to be shuffling around out there! It's great fun to see all the little - [Car Hijinks: Is this even possible?](https://funny-about-money.com/car-hijinks-is-this-even-possible/) - Y’know… It’s kinda embarrassing to have a son (even a magnificently grown one) who’s a lot smarter than you are. Eeps! The other day, my son purloined my car out of my garage. He refuses to bring it back. So here I am: carless in Gaza, having to do errands on foot and hire - [Moving: A Bad Idea](https://funny-about-money.com/moving-a-bad-idea/) - So here I am: coveting the Old Neighborhood. Thinking how much I'd love to move back down into the historic mid-town Encanto neighborhood, where DXH and I spent the first 15 years or so of our marriage. Where M'ijito grew old enough to pass through the first several years of the tony private grade school - [Inauspicious Morning](https://funny-about-money.com/inauspicious-morning/) - Ugh! Not 7:30 yet, and we've already had one Drama of the Day. More to come, no doubt... Ruby and I were headed homeward from the morning walk, when we came upon a favorite neighbor. This lady lives alone. She's very smart and very charming and just the sort of person you enjoy having as - [A Plan!](https://funny-about-money.com/a-plan/) - So…here I am, stuck in the house with no car in the garage and 112-degree heat outside. I need groceries. But ain’t about to get them in this weather. Ooohkayyy…. So what AM I gunna do? Welp, truth to tell, of late I’ve come up with a New Plan. The basis of this Plan is - [How DO they know???](https://funny-about-money.com/how-do-they-know/) - LOL! Just as I was about to stroll off to the Sprouts, along comes ROARRRRRR ROAARRRR ROOOOAAAARRRR!!! Dayum! It's Gerardo and his boys. Raising the question: How do those guys know when I'm in the middle of something that I can't easily knock off, or just about to head out the door and need to get going? - [Back from the Hubs of Hades...](https://funny-about-money.com/back-from-the-hubs-of-hades/) - Holeeee sheee-ut! Is it ever HOT out there! Hotter than the hubs, and damp as the inside of a shower stall. Seriously: it's nowhere near as hideously hot ad humid as an Arabian morning used to be. But it's close. There, you'd get out of bed and peer out the window to see water dripping off the - [Hotter 'n the Hubs...again](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-n-the-hubs-again/) - Not even 7:30 a.m. by the time the Ruby and I stumble back to the house. We left at dawn. The SMOG! My gawd, the SMOG! At first I thought it was fog. Seriously: it looks like a San Francisco morning out there. Doesn't feel like it. It's 95 in the shade of the back porch. - [HOW many degrees?????](https://funny-about-money.com/how-many-degrees/) - Uh oh... The local Play-Nooz says it's 116 degrees out there! Dog and I haven't been out there to test that assertion. Aren't gonna, either: that kind of heat will burn her li'l paws. .......................... Eeeek!!!! It is 116: in the shade of the back porch. Holeeeee doggerel! Don't even wanna know the temp out in the - [The Evolution of Life in (un)Lovely Arizona...](https://funny-about-money.com/the-evolution-of-life-in-unlovely-arizona/) - Ugh!!! 7:50 ayem. We're back from the Dawg Walk. Ruby is perky. The Human is wilted. I... Hate... Arizona! Just now it's a chilly 94 in the shade of the back porch. Still cool out there: we're supposed to reach 116 today. Present humidity: 19%. Think of that. almost 1/5 of what you breathe in - [Egad! Watch out for this...](https://funny-about-money.com/egad-watch-out-for-this/) - https://www.yahoo.com/news/usps-warns-americans-brushing-scam-140000360.html Good grief!! - ["The Sound of Freedom"](https://funny-about-money.com/the-sound-of-freedom-2/) - She used to sit out there on her beloved back porch, gazing into all the other unfenced backyards of the houses around our home there in Sun City. Perched over her morning coffee, she would listen to the b-l-a-a-a-a-s-t of fighter jet engines, a racket emanating from nearby Luke Air Force Base. Oh, how I hated - [Who'd've Thunk It?](https://funny-about-money.com/whodve-thunk-it/) - I'm gunna say something here that will sound totally off the wall given the L.A.-style city that I live in. Hang onto your hat! I could probably do completely without a car of my own. None. No car. No wheels. No insurance bills. No maintenance bills. No gas bills. None. Zero. Zilch. CAN you imagine? A week or - [Hotter than the Hubs](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-the-hubs-4/) - Doorbell jangles. It's along about 3:30 p.m. Outside: a kid. Looks to be about 10 or 12. Articulate and well-spoken, he explains that he's lost a football. Thinks it may have gone over the back wall into the pool. Hot diggety: a MISSION! We launch into a search. And man! Is it hot out there. Explore through the - [Report from the Department of Weird Experiences](https://funny-about-money.com/report-from-the-department-of-weird-experiences/) - Good grief! If it hadn't been so funny -- so goofy -- I'd be hiding under the bed right now. Did you know there are people in this world who cannot imagine why anyone would want to buy a chilled bottle of white wine? Some of those folks reside behind the customer service desk in a certain beloved - [Life with...Other Humans](https://funny-about-money.com/life-with-other-humans/) - See...this kinda thing is THE reason I do NOT wanna live in an old-folkerie, elbow-to-elbow with my fellow senile humans, taken care of by folks who can't get a better job anywhere else: Apparently, WonderCleaningLady unplugged the microwave, which resides in the garage. Unplugged it...WHY???? Gaddamm it. This a.m., I go out there to heat some potatoes - [Hotter Than a By-God](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-a-by-god/) - Crimmineee. It's only 2:00 in the afternoon, and the temp in the shade of the back porch is 104. Welp...I had things I needed to do. But I ain't goin' out in that! Especially not without a car. Should've gotten off my duff at 7 or 8 this morning, when the local shops opened. If they opened - [She Knew. Oh, Yes: She Knew.](https://funny-about-money.com/she-knew-oh-yes-she-knew/) - Dunno why, but for some reason my idle thoughts seem focused on my parents, and on their marriage. My father was deeply, passionately in love with my mother. She was a good, obedient wife, and yes: I do believe she loved him as much as he loved her. They met in California, where my father - [Shocked! Back to Sobriety...](https://funny-about-money.com/shocked-back-to-sobriety/) - SHOCKED, I tell you. Shocked! :-D This noon, I thought...gee, I'd like a bottle of beer to go with the orzo I'm planning to fix for a mid-day meal. Beer, or maybe a glass of wine. Ohhhhhkayyyy.... Welp...I knew I was out of wine, and I feel uninclined to buy more just now. But...beer? Yeah: beer: - [And we need this...WHY?](https://funny-about-money.com/and-we-need-this-why/) - Herein lies the question: My son, the redoubtable M'hijito, got mad the other day and stole my car. Just now it resides at his house, all the keys stashed inside his shack. In 110-degree heat, it's too far and too hot for me to walk down there and steal it back. And so...just now I - [Now what?](https://funny-about-money.com/now-what-5/) - {sigh} Quarter to four in the afternoon, and NO WORD from the adorable Pool Dude. This is decidedly not a good sign. It's only 100 degrees in the shade of the back patio. But most humans -- even the Arizonan variety -- think of that as on the high side of cozy. So it's real unlikely - [Arf! We say...ARF!](https://funny-about-money.com/arf-we-say-arf/) - {chortle!} Here we are, back home from the morning Doggy Walk, right along about 7:30 a.m. A little hot & muggy, but not too bad this morning Yesterday: it was a swamp out there. Still no sign of Pool Dude. Dayum! I do hope he's not back in the slam. I'll try to call him - [Makes the Old Folkerie Look Good...](https://funny-about-money.com/makes-the-old-folkerie-look-good/) - Gawd, I never imagined I'd have any such thought! But here it is, not even 6 in the morning, and I'm being blitzed with hassle after hassle after HASSLE. Got to take the dog for a walk before it gets hot -- which means we've gotta get out the door NOW. The pool is suffocating - [What Next, Then?](https://funny-about-money.com/what-next-then/) - Okay...no sign of Pool Dude. That's not surprising, though. We've arrived at a Saturday in one of the hottest months of a Phoenix year. If you were a Pool Dude, would you be busily running from backyard to backyard? So presumably, it'll be Monday before the mess gets cleaned up. At the soonest: that calculation - [Another (un)Fine Mayo Day](https://funny-about-money.com/another-unfine-mayo-day/) - Ugh! This noon we have to traipse to the far side of the galaxy for another round of poking and prodding at the Mayo. How can I do without that? Let me count the ways! Way #1 is simply that I do not believe anything serious ails me. For that reason, this medico-charade strikes me - [MORE Pool Dude Shenanigans](https://funny-about-money.com/more-pool-dude-shenanigans/) - So I stagger out to the backyard to be sure Harvey the Hayward Pool Cleaner is working properly...as he should be, after Pool Dude got finished with the job late y'day afternoon. Should, eh? Shoulda coulda woulda.... The damn thing isn't hooked up properly. Nothing is working right. The bottom of the pool is showered - [Hah! I'm IN!](https://funny-about-money.com/hah-im-in/) - Jeez, these damn computers just leave you confounded. Funny appeared to be off-line. Not visible in Firefox's alleged FaM web page. ARRRG! Another computer hassle. But????? Now I get online, click in the address line, and damned if the thing doesn't come right up. Whaaaa? Ohhhhh well. Where were we? Screwèd, screwèd, & gescrewèd . - [Weird...Yea Verily. The Weirdness That is Wordpress](https://funny-about-money.com/weird-yea-verily-the-weirdness-that-is-wordpress/) - Wherever you are, you can't get there from here...eh? Altogether too often, working with computer is like that. Argha! For unknown reasons, Wordpress decided to hang Funny about Money. Why? UNKNOWN. Dorked around with it, and presto-changeo! Up it comes. Why? UNKNOWN. Darn it. I guess I'm too sick and tired of this li'l game - [Hou$e-Cleaners!](https://funny-about-money.com/houe-cleaners/) - Egad! Check this out: The other day I decided my beloved cleaning lady, Luz, has gotta go. While she was here slamming around, I sat down to the dining-room table to grab a fast lunchoid. That ingested, I suddenly felt very tired -- hadn't slept well the night before. So there I am sitting at - [Wednesday Argha-Wargha!](https://funny-about-money.com/wednesday-argha-wargha/) - Chortle! This stuff never stops, does it? Today, the redoubtable Gerardo (Lawn Dude Par Excellence) herded his crew over here to prune the hateful palm trees. WHY the HELL do gringos plant those damn things in their yards? The ones some previous owner installed here have got to be 50 or 60 feet high. They - [Balmy Afternoon...](https://funny-about-money.com/balmy-afternoon/) - 5:00 p.m., Tuesday, June 17 ...and... It's 108 degrees in the shade of the back porch! My son, the redoubtable Caligula, still has my car. I guess he thinks he's protecting me from myself. Since I have exactly zero desire to go bucketing around in 108-degree heat, he can keep the damn thing. In the - [Wow! Let's Get This Straight!](https://funny-about-money.com/wow-lets-get-this-straight/) - This afternoon I learned that someone near and dear to me has been telling people that I get sauced up on booze and then climb in the car and cruise around. Let's get this straight: I do not drive after I have been drinking. Yes. I do drink alcohol. Sometimes I do get sauced up. - [Cleaning Lady Day...](https://funny-about-money.com/cleaning-lady-day/) - Boyoboy! You wanna talk about a spoiled, lazy ole' bat? Welp, here she is! Yes. I am sooooooo lazy that I actually resent and cringe at the fact that today is Cleaning Lady Day. Why? Because I'm too lazy to get up off my duff and shovel out the mess so she can find a few - [Gettin' Old...and Stayin' Free!](https://funny-about-money.com/gettin-old-and-stayin-free/) - My roommate at the University of Arizona had an aunt in Tucson who allowed herself to be persuaded (by my rm’s mother) to tell the university that we two girls were going to live at her house. (In those days, undergraduate girls were required to live in the dorms, unless they stayed at home.) We promptly - [Gettin' Old](https://funny-about-money.com/gettin-old/) - Just climbed out of the tub. Combed the dripping wet hair. Hauled on the jeans and T-shirt. Dog is fed. Thought is devoted to running the laundry...ehhhh...too much like work! Gorgeous morning. If I weren't older than the hills and feeling like Methuselah, I'd take Ruby for a walk. Except Míhito is supposed to show - [Ah hah! First Thing to Go Right This Morning!](https://funny-about-money.com/ah-hah-first-thing-to-go-right-this-morning/) - LOL! Here we are at Funny about Money...After only three tries to get online. :-D By 5:30 a.m., this morning had already revealed itself as the start of One Of Those Days. Ugh! Whatever you touch goes wrong. Touch it twice, and it goes wrong with a vengeance. This morning will start with a major - [Roar! Roar!! Roar!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/roar-roar-roar/) - Ruby and I take our morning stroll, serenaded by the roar of jet planes. Yea, verily: one of the reasons I hated living in Sun City: Luke AFB, just a few miles to the south and west. Every goddamn morning: Blasts of jet engines greeted the rising sun. Other reasons to find Sun City tedious: - [Dawn of Another Dreadful Day](https://funny-about-money.com/dawn-of-another-dreadful-day/) - So, so, soooooo sick! Is this thing EVER gonna go away? Just now, I'm about ready for me to go away. Spectacularly tired of stinging and burning and hurting and not being able to walk across the room without the hip shrieking (metaphorically, of course). Dog is fed. It's a gorgeous morning. Need -- want -- to take - [87 berzilliion things....](https://funny-about-money.com/87-berzilliion-things/) - I'd druther not do.... Auuughhhh! Wonder-Cleaning Lady is here, throwing herself around like a low-flying rocket. Forgodsake, it's after 5:00 p.m.!!! Does the woman EVER come to a stop???? Seriously: she showed up sometime after 4 p.m., all primed to take on the Funny Farm. This would be fine if she'd showed up sometime after, - [Wow! I'm IN!](https://funny-about-money.com/wow-im-in-2/) - One of the joys of dotage is that you can barely remember your name, to say nothing of the 87 berjillion passwords you have to memorize in order to operate your websites and cruise the Internet. But today....ohhh mirabilis! Today I managed to get in to Funny about Money's website...and with minimal hassle. Dog and - [Did She Know?](https://funny-about-money.com/did-she-know/) - Did she know what she was doing as she loafed around the house poisoning herself with cigarettes? Did she know those little pleasure-sticks were, given her family background of cancer death after cancer death, bound to kill her? Did she know how painful and ugly her exit trip would be? Oh, yeah. She most certainly - [Holy Sh!t....DUCK FOR COVER!](https://funny-about-money.com/holy-sht-duck-for-cover/) - KeeeeRAAP! Some ba*tard just shot at our cop helicopter! The action took place a couple blocks to the north of the Funny Farm...maybe three. But definitely on our side of Main Drag North. Call the dog -- she's loafing in the kitchen, and she sees no good reason to get up and leave her scrap-scavenging - [BONK! And this didn't occur to me...WHY?](https://funny-about-money.com/bonk-and-this-didnt-occur-to-me-why/) - Y'know...having lived in sprawling Southwestern cities all of my adult life, this factoid never occurred to me. But...y'know what? YOU DON'T NEED A CAR TO LIVE IN A CITY LIKE PHOENIX. Early adolescence in San Francisco, taught me that...well...yeah. You don't need a car to live conveniently in the City, as my mother and I - [What Happens When You Move to Sun City....and when you don't....](https://funny-about-money.com/what-happens-when-you-move-to-sun-city-and-when-you-dont/) - When you move to Sun City? Well...yeah. Life goes on: that's what happens. :-D SDXB (Semi-Demi-Ex-Boyfriend, for you newcomers) moved out there, where he took up with the excellent NG (New Girlfriend), a truly nifty lady. And y'know...the truth is, for him Life Has Gone On in full, lovely glory. Talk with him and you - [She's b-a-a-c-k again...for the nonce](https://funny-about-money.com/shes-b-a-a-c-k-again-for-the-nonce/) - The li'l computer is back online...just now. We'll see how long that lasts. /eyeroll/ Several hours of galloping from pillar to post finally brought us to a store that could fix it: not surprisingly, an Apple store. This one, in a large shopping mall on the northwest side. So now this unit is operative. When - [Eeek! Be Scared! Be Very Scared!](https://funny-about-money.com/eeek-be-scared-be-very-scared/) - 'Cause our roof's got a hole in it, and we might drown.... :-D No kidding. The news media's weather reports are just hysterical. In the sense of irrationally terrified... Hope you're duly terrorized by this alarming News Flash! Yeah. On Sunday -- that's tomorrow -- it's gonna...gasp! choke!...RAIN. EEEEEK! The TERROR! IMPACT! ALERT! TROPICAL MOISTURE! - [Yahoo! I'm IN!](https://funny-about-money.com/yahoo-im-in/) - For a few minutes there, Firefox wouldn't let me in to Funny, correct password or no correct password. ohhhh well... Here we are, and the system seems to be working O.K. hmmmm.... For the nonce, anyway. Onward: A new post is in the works as we gaze upon the site.... - [Late Spring in the Low Desert](https://funny-about-money.com/late-spring-in-the-low-desert/) - Lumbering toward lunchtime: * A lovely little piece of steak sits on the grill, doused with turmeric * A fistful of handsome asparagus also awaits it fate * Yay! A ripe tomato!!! Sliced and ready to eat * Pistachios to snack, on the side My righteous son seems to have purloined all the wine, so all - [Strange Weather...](https://funny-about-money.com/strange-weather/) - Looks like rain, but doesn't feel like rain...know what I mean? It's a very weird-looking day out there this morning: high overcast. Is it gonna rain? I'd put 50-50 odds on the proposition. Right now, tho', I doubt that it'll rain soon. So...I should get off my duff and walk down to the Sprouts or - [If only she were still here...](https://funny-about-money.com/if-only-she-were-still-here/) - I wish...i wish...i do wish she were here to see it. The'Hood, I mean. My beautiful 'Hood. "She": my mother, gone these past three decades. She had seen this tract before SDXB and I moved in here. And she thought it was OK. Today -- oh yeah: I can assure you -- she'd think it's - [EEEEK! Be scared, be very scared](https://funny-about-money.com/eeeek-be-scared-be-very-scared/) - Switzerland! Ohhhh the terror.. https://www.travelandleisure.com/switzerland-issued-surprising-us-travel-advisory-11740117?utm_source=firefox-newtab-en-us - [Sunday, Bloody (Boring) Sunday](https://funny-about-money.com/sunday-bloody-boring-sunday/) - So here we are with the new computer on our lap, loafing on an easy chair, taking in a lovely morning, watching the pooch celebrate by chewing up a leather fake bone. We have circumnavigated the 'Hood through the dawn of a gorgeous day. And now, I suppose, all we really need to do is - [A WTF Week...](https://funny-about-money.com/a-wtf-week/) - I'd say this is One of Those Days...except that doesn't do the current three-ring circus justice. One of Those Weeks? Lordie...just hope "week"is the right term... Actually, it started out several weeks ago. What IS the matter with me? No IQ, maybe? Presumably what IQ points I had have rolled out my ears and skittered - [Now What???](https://funny-about-money.com/now-what-4/) - In a moment of misguided chumminess, I lent my laptop to a business acquaintance. This is a guy I've known for years, outwardly very professional, a successful chiropractor by trade. Bad move! Among other antics, he contrived to break the computer, rendering it nonfunctional. My son has taken it to a computer store, in hopes - [{click!} On Cars: WHY have I never figured this out???](https://funny-about-money.com/click-on-cars-why-have-i-never-figured-this-out/) - My son, in the midst of a peculiarly annoying quarrel, grabbed my keys and made off with my car. Yes. The only car I have. Oh eek! Oh augh! Ohhhh gawd, what'll I do? Right? Welp...maybe not. Maybe, just maybe this is an occasion for celebrating. Because, incredibly enough, it has brought about an Insight - [Glorious Morning in the Gorgeous 'Hood](https://funny-about-money.com/glorious-morning-in-the-gorgeous-hood/) - Well. It ain't exactly "gorgeous." But it's exceptionally pleasant: a big green park, irrigated lawns in every direction, handsome 1950s and 60s ranch houses punctuated here and there with newer stately mansions. Inviting enough. The corgi and I set out at dawn to circumnavigate the park and then traipse through the northerly flange that comprises - [Ohhhh Most Brilliant of Web Gurus!](https://funny-about-money.com/ohhhh-most-brilliant-of-web-gurus/) - Well, our wonderful Grayson, the guy who keeps this site online and functioning, got me back in after I forgot (lost??) the password. God bless him!! Geez. I must be Alzheimering out. The more I fool with computer hoo-hah, the more opaque it gets to me. Even when I print out this kind of ditz - [Another Junket Through the Hood](https://funny-about-money.com/another-junket-through-the-hood/) - Yesterday's little plug of sentementalia drew me onward ever onward: back out into the mid-morning heat (and in Arizona that IS heat) and into the depths of our lovely little neighborhood. Yes, it is lovely! I was soooo lucky to stumble upon the Realtor who brought me here. The place is kind of a best-kept - [Afternoon Doggy-Walk...and on...](https://funny-about-money.com/afternoon-doggy-walk-and-on/) - Round and round we go: through the park and over the grassy mounds and around the wee kids playing in the afternoon sun: charming, adorable, and satisfyingly playful. The kids are adorable. The teenagers pleasantly time-wasting. The little dog has a Grand Old Time. The human misses old friends who used to live in the - [She's B-a-a-a-a-c-k!!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/shes-b-a-a-a-a-c-k-3/) - Whew!! For a minit there, I thought Wordpress was NOT gonna let me back into Funny. But amazingly, after a few tries it gave up and dropped me into the website. Weird. Why is everything weird? And have you noticed that some days stuff is weirder than on other days? Why, I ask. WHY? Ohhhhh - [...And Stumbling Through Another Day](https://funny-about-money.com/and-stumbling-through-another-day/) - Amusing traits and tricks of dotage... * You put things "away"...and before you know it, you can't remember where "away" is. * You make a marvelous pot of coffee...and then forget you have a coffeepot sitting on the counter. * You don't know what time it is...partly because you no longer reckon the time of - [Stumbling toward Eternity](https://funny-about-money.com/stumbling-toward-eternity/) - Sooo very sick! Surely this can't go on much longer. I'm ready to. go...but f'rgodsake, WHERE is the exit door? Tried to make an appointment with the much missed Young Dr. Kildare. That didn't work. First off, he's moved his practice to Sun City, halfway on the other side of the globe. I'm not supposed - [GLUB! To say nothing of GRRRUUUUMMMBLLLLE](https://funny-about-money.com/glub-to-say-nothing-of-grrruuuummmblllle/) - Ah, a lovely spring day in Central Arizona. The rain -- a light rain but a soggy one -- is letting up , distant thunder rolling down into the Valley from the northerly hills. Gray, hot, and sticky. Just darted back in the house, after aborting a vaguely planned grocery-store junket. At four in the - [G-a-a-a-h! STOP THE WORLD!](https://funny-about-money.com/g-a-a-a-h-stop-the-world/) - By golly, I thought I was gonna knock off...and spend the rest of the afternoon loafing with my feet up on a hassock. No. Of course not. No. Not. A. Chance. Now I've got door handles and door locks busted every which way from Sunday! No kidding... Have you noticed that? How everything craps out - [She's B-a-a-a-c-k...](https://funny-about-money.com/shes-b-a-a-a-c-k/) - You lucky souls! ;-) What can I say? Apparently earlier efforts on my part to get back into FaM failed because of my superb dork-up powers. Our wonderful Web guru, Grayson Bell, has not only put Funny about Money back online but even managed to teach its proprietor how to get back in. Probably. We - [And...A Different Viewpoint](https://funny-about-money.com/and-a-different-viewpoint/) - The other day I was holding forth about my puzzlement over my parents' loathing of my undergraduate boyfriend. And yes, they did hate him, and hate is the operative term. That post speculates that it was because of his Eastern European ancestry. Could be. But this morning it occurs to me that there was a - [How to End a Love Affair](https://funny-about-money.com/how-to-end-a-love-affair/) - It wasn't what he did. It was what his buddy did. And that he approved of what his buddy did. Paul was the first Great Love of My Life. Handsome, smart, affable, sexy, upward-bound. Who could ask for anything more, eh? Well...as extreme as it seems, you could ask for a little common decency... *** - [Why Did They Hate Him So?](https://funny-about-money.com/why-did-they-hate-him-so/) - It was in the summer of my sophomore year that I took up with my college boyfriend. We met at the University of Arizona's swimming pool, where we each had taken to hanging out when we weren't attending summer-school classes. Paul was eastern European. I wanna say he was Bohemian or Slovakian. What he was, - [Another Day from Hell, y-Cumen In](https://funny-about-money.com/another-day-from-hell-y-cumen-in/) - A bit past 7 in the morning. The phone has already jangled: nuisance telephone solicitor. Can you imagine? The bastards call you BEFORE EFFING 7 A.M.!!! Put a generous spin on it: the guy is probably calling from a prison in some other time zone. (Phone soliciting is a prison industry, interestingly enough.) We don't - [Chaos in Hevvin...](https://funny-about-money.com/chaos-in-hevvin/) - Well... {ahem}...one wouldn't exactly call Conduit of Blight Boulevard "Heaven." But it's not too bad, as Phoenix-area main drags go. Apparently some new catastrophe has taken place, though, amid the fine rush-hour traffic. Sirens have been yowling up and down Blight Blvd for the past half-hour. Probably a moron drove or stepped out in front - [Personicane!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/personicane/) - LOL! You've heard of "hurricanes"? What we have here this evening is the politically correct version: a fine personicane. Wind is wailing, whaling, howling, yowling, blasting, bumping...auuughhh! Unclear whether we'll get any rain: the wind is carrying on so dramatically it may freakin' blow the rain away! The house's rafters groan. The trees dance and - [](https://funny-about-money.com/40170-2/) - 6:50 a.m. Weirdness of the day: The buzzy peripheral neuropathy has, for unknown reasons, receded by about 90%. Why? I cannot imagine. I'm not doing anything different. Not eating anything different. Not teetotaling. Not exercising more. Not exercising less. Not taking meds, other than an occasional ibuprofen and a daily hit of B12. Headed out - [Life in the 21st Century](https://funny-about-money.com/life-in-the-21st-century-2/) - Trying again: WyrdPress refused to post this, so I saved it to Wyrd. Let's copy, paste, and see if it will go online now... ******************** THIS is life????? Who freakin' needs it??????? Honestly. By the time we got halfway through the day, I was ready to quit. Exit Stage Left. FLEEEEEEE! Jayzus, what a dystopic - [Loafifariousness...](https://funny-about-money.com/loafifariousness/) - The Human and the Dog should get off their respective duffs and trot around the neighborhood. Really: there's no excuse for evading it. Except... except... except... Well...I don't wanna! Yeah. the Human is toooooo freakin' lazy to get off her duff and stroll a mile or two around our (truly) garden spot. It is a - [Ohhh How I Wanna Go Home!](https://funny-about-money.com/ohhh-how-i-wanna-go-home/) - Lookee here! This -- yea, verily: this very property -- IS the Ranch. The beloved, endlessly missed Gold Bar. Rustic, eh? But oh, my... So pretty. So quiet. The air so clean. The cows so mellow. The little ranch house so sweet. No, it wasn't really "home," at least not for us. Maybe for our - [Day from Hell...on Steroids!](https://funny-about-money.com/day-from-hell-on-steroids-2/) - Jayzuz, what a day!!!!! Fought with my son all afternoon. Car crapped out. Should take it to the Toyota place tomorrow and waste half the day sitting around there. But squabbling notwithstanding, His Princeliness mounted his white charger and galloped into battle with the Toyota dealership, bless him! So he's going over there tomorrow morning - [Still Kickin'...](https://funny-about-money.com/still-kickin-3/) - ...after a fashion. Nine in the morning: I'm so tired I can barely hold my head up. My (elegant! spiffy! beloved!!) walking stick is lost. Must have carelessly left it in the park. Wasn't there this a.m., so presumably some dear soul found it and made off with it. Bought that at a crafts fair - [Moonset](https://funny-about-money.com/moonset/) - Ten after three in the morning: the quiet, dark morning. As we scribble, a brilliant three-quarter moon makes its way down the clear black western sky toward the horizon. What a thing to see! It's sublimely beautiful. Truly: one of the most subtly gorgeous sights I've ever seen. Made more so, I'll say, by knowing - [Zonked and conked](https://funny-about-money.com/zonked-and-conked/) - All of 5 p.m. and the Humann is falling over face-forward into what passes for its dinner dish. Which ain't much, I'll tellya. Dunno what the matter is. But I can NOT hold my eyes open. If you'd asked, I'd've said I slept well last night. Stayed down til at least 7 a.m. Loafed all - [New Day in the 'Hood](https://funny-about-money.com/new-day-in-the-hood/) - Come 11:00 a.m. out there on the sheltered streets of the 'Hood...it's really quite lovely. Today will tend toward the Warm side...but just now it's pleasant enough: not too hot. People and their adorable kids are out in their front yards. Two of the Adorables were attracted by Ruby the Corgi, who's kinda adorable herself. - ["The Sound of Fweedom!"](https://funny-about-money.com/the-sound-of-fweedom/) - Ugh! The dog and I: just back from an hour+ perambulation of the neighborhood park. Serenaded every damn step of the way with ROAR ROAR ROAR blasting out of Luke AFB's jet planes. When we lived in Sun City, my mother used to start each day sitting on her screen porch, sipping coffee and listening - [Real Estate...Run Amok!](https://funny-about-money.com/real-estate-run-amok/) - !Jayzuz!!! Just look at the INSANE prices for houses in our old neighborhood! Just a few lots down the street from our place: $1.3 MILLION. We paid 30 grand for our house there -- the first home we co-owned with a bank -- and thought that was just outrageous. Lookit that, for 1900 square feet! - [She Knew](https://funny-about-money.com/she-knew/) - Of course she knew. There was no way she could have not known. Surely not by the time we came back to the States, along about 1958. By then the fact that smoking tobacco would give you cancer had been discovered; argued back and forth; tested; proven... No. By the time we arrived in San - [Cleaning Lady from Heaven!](https://funny-about-money.com/cleaning-lady-from-heaven/) - Wow! Really: there is only one word for the woman: WOW! Luz, the Cleaning Lady from Heaven, just walked out the door...7:30 at night. She has been here ALL AFTERNOON AND INTO THE EVENING. And no joke: not once has she sat down or even slowed down. What an amazing person! The house is beyond - [Is There a Place for Me?](https://funny-about-money.com/is-there-a-place-for-me/) - {sigh} As I grow to hate the noise and the crime and the loony toons more and more, I wonder: IS there a place for me in (un)lovely Central Arizona? Quite possibly not. North Central Phoenix, where the Funny Farm presently resides, is...what? * Aging * Cheaply built, by and large (okay, okay: but better - [R-R-R-O-O-O-O-O-O-A-A-A-R-R!!!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/r-r-r-o-o-o-o-o-o-a-a-a-r-r/) - Jeez. Can't complain about the jet engine racket emanating from Luke Air Force Base this morning. Nope. Over on the opposite side of the Valley, we have the vast commercial airport locally known as Sky Harbor. Passenger and cargo jets roar in and out of there pretty much nonstop. It's 9 in the morning, and - [So...???](https://funny-about-money.com/so/) - Okayyy... After that fine system crash, let's amuse ourselves by seeing whether Funny (via Firefox) will reboot... {scribble scribble} {Save Draft} hmmmm WordPress's "Page Setup" looks funny...but...but... I dunno...it kinda looks like the site is online and...MAAAYYYBEEE it's gonna work... ***** Reminiscing and daydreaming about the Good Ole Days living in our beautiful mid-town Phoenix - [Now What?](https://funny-about-money.com/now-what-3/) - WEEEEEE-ooooooo WEEEEEE-ooooooo WEEEEEE-ooooooo WEEEEEE-ooooooo WEEEEEE-ooooooo WEEEEEE-ooooooo WEEEEEE-ooooooo WEEEEEE-ooooooo.... All the way up Conduit of Blight. Something's going on, and it's bigger than a local ambulance ride. Must be a major wrecky-poo over there. You take your chances whenever you get in a car on a Phoenix road. Actually, you put your life on the line. - [So...where wuz i????](https://funny-about-money.com/so-where-wuz-i/) - By damn, I'm getting so senile I don't recall where I was and what I was doing ten minutes ago! Well: the mystery (such as it was) is solved. Ten minutes ago I was charging round the house searching for my keys. I'd put them "away," which -- as you no doubt know from your - [Drivin'...Drivin'...Drivin...](https://funny-about-money.com/drivin-drivin-drivin-3/) - Had to cruise through the district called Moon Valley y'day. It's a sub-suburb of the North Phoenix area. A dear friend and her husband -- both now Late with a capital "L" -- used to live there... I drove past their house, which, amazingly enough, is still standing. "Amazingly," I say, because the architecture up - [r-r-r-r-r-o-o-o-a-r-r-r...](https://funny-about-money.com/r-r-r-r-r-o-o-o-a-r-r-r/) - Cop copter overhead. Again. Jeez. Is the 'Hood really so overrun with criminals that we must have police helicopters buzzing our homes almost every goddam night? How effective are cop copters, anyway, at chasing off the perps? Would a cop in a patrol car do as well? Or one on foot, with a pistol in - [Mid-century Joy!](https://funny-about-money.com/mid-century-joy/) - Oh, my. You cannot imagine my mother's joy when, along about 1957, we came back to the United States to find...ohhh gosh! FROZEN FOODS! No mere packages of frozen veggies: no indeed, but whole meals -- meat, veggies, starches -- neatly packaged in tinfoil pans, ready for you to warm up in the oven and - [Arfa Arfa OUCH OUCH!](https://funny-about-money.com/arfa-arfa-ouch-ouch/) - OUCH OUCH OUCH!!!!!!! Come about six o'clock at night. Nothing will ARF do but what we must ARF a doggy-walk around the park. That's about a mile's dog-drag. Ohhhh goodie... We start out. Drag drag yank yank drag drag HEEL, DAMMIT!!! Drag yank drag yank yank yank drag..... Ohhhhh Hell Enough is arfing enough. The - [One of THOSE days...](https://funny-about-money.com/one-of-those-days-4/) - LOL! Yep: this here is "one of those days." You know: the kind where nothing goes right and everything you touch goes SPRRROOOOIIIINGGGG! If I touch it, it breaks. If I do nothing, some idiot shows up at the front door trying to peddle stuff. Looks like the irrigation system has gone on the fritz. - [Soggy Doggy Day](https://funny-about-money.com/soggy-doggy-day-3/) - Just this minute: back in the door from a 90-minute Dawg Walk. At 9:15 ayem, it's not exactly hot out there. But it's warm. And it's stuffy. Jet engines roar from the precincts of Luke Air Force Base. {chortle!} If you think that racket is annoying, you ain't heard nothin' and you don't live in - [woo-HOOO! Lunchtime!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/woo-hooo-lunchtime/) - So we're back from our favorite around-the-corner grocery stores (Sprouts, Albertson's...and waypoints. We've tossed away a few bucks in those sanctified quarters. The 'Que is fired up. A fistful of frozen French fries defrost merrily atop the grill. A glorious lamb chop awaits its visit to the same grill top. Half a glass of cheap - [Good (not quite) Morning, Arizona!](https://funny-about-money.com/good-not-quite-morning-arizona/) - Ugh! It's all of 11:30 at night -- not quite: 11:26, to be precise -- and the cops are buzzing the suburb just to the north of us, hollering down at the perps through a loudspeaker. Good Morning, America, eh? That district is a high-crime area. Every now and again, yet another chase ensues up - [Sooooo.... Where were we?](https://funny-about-money.com/sooooo-where-were-we/) - Dusk is settling in. Beautiful evening, a soft breeze rustling the palm fronds. Ruby has gorged her little self on canned dog food. I'm busy gorging myself on red wine. Just about had it. La Maya on the phone: Describing the latest un-fukkin-believable outrage from the Great Desert University. Ugh! How can I describe my - [Make. It. Stop, Lord!](https://funny-about-money.com/make-it-stop-lord-2/) - Lock on the side gate: busted. Latch on the kitchen door: busted. Nails on both index fingers: lifting off their beds. Hurts. Drag my computer into the bedroom, so at least I can put my feet up while playing at blogging and waiting for the locksmith: the phone's gone. Search search search around the house. - [STOP THE WORLD!!](https://funny-about-money.com/stop-the-world-11/) - :-D First good thing that's happened this morning, as dawn proceeds to break: I have managed to weasel my way into the FaM website. At 6:45 in the morning, all Hell is breaking loose, and as far as I can tell the terrorized demons are running off down the road. Worst thing under way: the - [Scare of the Day....FOUND!](https://funny-about-money.com/scare-of-the-day-found/) - HOLEE doggerel! This has been one terrifying [and silly] afternoon...but it just wrapped up on a positive note. Positive...for a freakin' change! So earlier this afternoon, I'm out stumbling around the neighborhood with the dog when I realize... oohhhhhhh yeah! I've lost the keys to the house. They're not in my pocket. They're not in - [E-freakin' NUFF](https://funny-about-money.com/e-freakin-nuff/) - Hey there, Sprouts management: lissen up! I quit!!!!! Those weekly, biweekly, even triweekly trips to the beloved neighborhood Sprouts? DONE! GONE!! NO FREAKIN' MORE!!!! This afternoon's gamut-run marked THE LAST TIME, absolutely positively THE last time I will shop in the Sprouts just down the street from my house. NEVER.... fukkin' AGAIN You cannot go - ["The Sound of Freedom"...](https://funny-about-money.com/the-sound-of-freedom/) - Yeah. This morning the weather conditions are perfect: we're being serenaded nonstop by the "Sound of Freedom," as my mother used to put it while she perched on her back porch over morning coffee. Noooo, muther, I used to think. That's the sound of World War III, comin' our way. It never seemed to register - [Tryin' Again...](https://funny-about-money.com/tryin-again/) - Believe we've lost several posts since the last time I was here scribbling. And...well...I am NOT in the mood for struggling with the Internet just now. So let's freakin' start over. Today is Sunday, March 16. It's 3:40 in the afternoon. A rather stuffy and damp afternoon, one with high clouds lurking overhead. Ruby and - [And Speakin' of Colder Than a By-Gawd...](https://funny-about-money.com/and-speakin-of-colder-than-a-by-gawd/) - :-D What an insane afternoon! We're back from the late-day perambulation of the park. EGAD, but it's cold out there! Overcast, windy, and...well.. more than "crisp." Colder than a by-gawd, as my father would have said. Ruby has patrolled the neighborhood streets and inspected the park. Clouds have blown up during the time we wandered - [Augh!!](https://funny-about-money.com/augh/) - Dunno if this will go online or not. Everything I just wrote has...CRASHED. Why? I do not know. Get it back? Not as far as I can see. ********************** Dayum!!!!!!! Let's try to get today's half-baked effort at a post -- which has kindly been disappeared -- back online. ************************ So, this afternoon it was - [Re-Battening Down the Hatches...](https://funny-about-money.com/re-battening-down-the-hatches/) - {chortle!} We're told another terrifying storm is on its way, due this evening. Yesterday's terrifying storm has come and gone. Nary a shingle blew off the roof. Hmmm... This is innaresting: the villains who have taken over the Republican Party want to dispense with Social Security and Medicare. You won't mind covering your parents' medical - [Doggy-Walk-a-Rama](https://funny-about-money.com/doggy-walk-a-rama/) - Just shading on to 6:00 p.m. Here we are, Ruby and I, back at the house after an hour's traipse around the park. This afternoon: a PERFECT time for that journey. Skies are working on overcast. Breeze is cool. The park is chuckablock full of young people playing and practicing sports. Too much scenic fun!!! - [Soggy Doggy Saturday](https://funny-about-money.com/soggy-doggy-saturday/) - Looks like it rained all night! But by light of day, maybe not so much. Skies are clear and blue, except for some distant clouds. Puddles of water lay all around: on the sidewalks, in the streets, in the park. Ruby, as usual, is beside herself with Dawg Joy to get out of the house - [Weather, cont'd.](https://funny-about-money.com/weather-contd/) - Clear, cool, and windy out there. Armies of young people swarming over the park: great fun to watch them frolicking and practicing and playing baseball. Ruby: thrilled to hike and traipse and hike and traipse. :-D The RRROOOOAAAARRRRRR of fighter jet engines rolls in, across a good 15 or 20 miles between here and Luke - [Foiled!](https://funny-about-money.com/foiled/) - Wow! The skies are gray, the wind is blowing, and it's threatening to rain like mad out there. So much for this morning's brilliant idea: to head on down to AJ's, order up a mighty supply of espresso, and loaf all morning in their sidewalk café. Let's see what Wunderground has to say about this - [You Know You're Too Darned Lazy When .....](https://funny-about-money.com/you-know-youre-too-darned-lazy-when/) - You can't be bothered to get off your tuchus to go SPEND MONEY! :-D Wuz gonna make a run on Target to diddle away a few bucks on this, that, and the other. But loafed. Was still loafing when Pool Dude From Heaven showed up. Ruby bursts into a Frenzy of Dawg Joy (ohhhhh how - [Grrrrr! Rich People's Problems....](https://funny-about-money.com/grrrrr-rich-peoples-problems/) - F'r Godsake. Okay, I realize that if I can afford a cleaning lady, I shouldn't be bellyaching about the stupid things she does. After all, if she owned a competent brain, she wouldn't be cleaning house for other wymmen, would she? But...but...godDAMit!!!!! Is there a reason that just because you're a cleaning lady, you have - [Can't Go Home Again...](https://funny-about-money.com/cant-go-home-again/) - Remembering Berkeley: wish I was still there. Or could go back. Gree and Gertrude -- my mother's grandmother and aunt -- lived into their late 90s...problem-free. Partly because they were tee-totaling Christian Scientists and so never were challenged by a doctor. But I suspect more likely because they lived on a rather steep hill in - [Beloved Pool Dude!](https://funny-about-money.com/beloved-pool-dude/) - Dogs know. HOW they know escapes me. Can they read a calendar? It appears not. Do they have Dog Telepathy? That must be it. Ruby the Corgi loves, adores, and worships Pool Dude. Seriously: she thinks that guy is the best thing that has ever walked across the surface of the planet. Pool Dude comes - [Real Estate Dreamin'...](https://funny-about-money.com/real-estate-dreamin/) - Ever entertaining: I just wasted half the afternoon cruising through neighborhoods in Moon Valley and North Central Phoenix, ogling real estate. By dayum! Saw house after house after overpriced house, marveling every inch of the way. Prices here are making their way through the cosmic roof, with no indication of any slow-down. {chortle!} I love - [Murder by Microbe](https://funny-about-money.com/murder-by-microbe/) - She killed my mother. In my opinion, she did it on purpose. And she tried to do the same to me -- a little girl at the time, about ten or twelve years old. ARAMCO wives in Saudi Arabia, where I grew up in an American oil camp, received special training on how to prepare - [The Joy of Living in the 'Hood](https://funny-about-money.com/the-joy-of-living-in-the-hood/) - Is it even possible to get more ironic than that? Some a$$hole is flying up and down our little neighborhood street at 40+ mph. Back and forth: roar roar roar. No. Do not bother to call a cop. That would be a first-class exercise in futility. Just hope the jerk doesn't hit a kid. Or - [Coyote Morning](https://funny-about-money.com/coyote-morning-2/) - Out the door around 7:30: the little dawg and I head out for her favorite route, circumnavigating the park. It's a beautiful morning. Clear, not too smoggy, cool enough to be just this side of cold but not really cold. And as we trot along, who should we come nose-to-nose with but...oh yeah! Wile E. - [Arfa Argha Warfa!](https://funny-about-money.com/arfa-argha-warfa/) - Criminey! Another stupid evening! Lost Ruby's dog collar whilst circumnavigating the park, a journey that takes about an hour. Ugh!! Her nylon collar has her name and phone number, so if by some (highly unlikely!!) miracle, she's found by someone who cares, they may call me and let me retrieve her. Most people in these - [Good {grump!} Morning, Arizona!](https://funny-about-money.com/good-grump-morning-arizona/) - Crack of dawn: out the door with the dog. The derelict who set up camp outside the backyard wall was gone. And -- surprise!! -- he picked up after himself!! So there was no mess to shovel out after the sun comes up. Circumambulate the park: beautiful morning. Hip hurts, but not as much as - [She Done Did Herself In](https://funny-about-money.com/she-done-did-herself-in/) - Thinking about my mother, for reasons unknown, here in the early hours of a Sunday morning. She killed herself, the poor woman. Not on purpose...uhm...at least, I don't think she did it on purpose. At least, not at a conscious level. She smoked herself to death. Literally: she was never awake when she didn't have - [Blessed Silence! (After a Fashion...)](https://funny-about-money.com/blessed-silence-after-a-fashion/) - Nine a.m. and...at last! The jets at Luke Air Force Base have come to light. They practice every morning along about dawn, when they begin around three hours of maneuvers. So just when the Sun Citizens down the road from the base want to sit on their back porches to take their morning coffee, they - [Holeee Shee-ut...](https://funny-about-money.com/holeee-shee-ut/) - Waiting for the cops to show up. And waiting...and waiting...and waiting.... Some charmer was sniffing around the front and the east side of the house. Seems to be gone now. After SDXB chased off his burglars -- caught them in the living room and waved his pistol at them -- he called the cops. Said - [Wednesday in Hell...](https://funny-about-money.com/wednesday-in-hell/) - My son is on the way over here to pick me and up and drag me to the Mayo Clinic. Again. Hope today's appointment is at the hospital, here in town. Many of their doctors maintain their offices at that place, which is 45 minutes closer to my house than is the Mayo's palace in - [Another Day, Another Taxpayer-Funded Dollah...](https://funny-about-money.com/another-day-another-taxpayer-funded-dollah/) - Mwa hah ha! Social Security: what could be better? Seriously, I do hafta say that I am mightily grateful for the wee Social Security income that trickles in each month. Yes, I do have enough in savings to live on as a retiree...for the time being. But...that's assuming I do NOT acquire the insane longevity - [World War III...Comin' Your Way!](https://funny-about-money.com/world-war-iii-comin-your-way/) - So Ruby and I are just back from the morning traipse around the' Hood. Actually. we're running a little late: it's 8:30 already. But the lovely serenade from Luke Air Force Base, twenty miles to the west of us, is still echoing through the atmosphere. WHAT a gawdawful racket!! My mother used to love to - [One Effin' Nightmare After Another...](https://funny-about-money.com/one-effin-nightmare-after-another/) - Main Nightmare of the Day: SDXB's excellent New Girlfriend is enjoying an Adventure in Medical Science. Trying to get thru to him on the phone today to see how that's going and offer moral support: can't get through. Can't tell whether it's my phone (think it is) or his phone or the effin' phone company - [Argha!](https://funny-about-money.com/argha/) - GOOD MORNING, AMERICA! Ruby the Corgi greets a cold daybreak with a frantic attack of reverse sneezing. This is a dramatic, noisy episode of choking and gasping for air. Apparently it's not life-threatening, but I'll tellya: it's terrifying for a human to watch and hear. *** She seems to have calmed down now. That's good. - [Just a LITTLE peace and quiet, puhleeze?](https://funny-about-money.com/just-a-little-piece-and-quiet-puhleeze/) - Uh huh... 7:46 p.m.... and it's ROAAAAARRRR roooarrrrr buzzzzzzzzzzz whizzz roar buzz... Cop helicopter overhead. Dayum! Am I tired of this routine or tired of this routine? He buzzes around in circles over the northwest section of the 'Hood: right above the house where SDXB and I lived together for a couple of years before - [Gorgeous Day!](https://funny-about-money.com/gorgeous-day/) - The Corgi and the Human dawdled a bit this morning. It's already 9:20, and we only just walked in the door from the a.m. perambulation. But what a GORGEOUS morning! Clear and cool, free of visible smog, most of the bird-brained dog-lovers already back in their homes. The dog-lovers. /eyeroll/ They all assume your dog - [Howling Wind. Howling Flames...](https://funny-about-money.com/howling-wind-howling-flames/) - Gosh, am I glad we don't live in Southern California anymore. Looks like the whole damn place is burning down. My father, a Merchant Marine officer, used to ship out of Long Beach. That's where I was born, before we moved to Saudi Arabia. Twelve years later, we came back to the States. He took - [STOP THE WORLD!](https://funny-about-money.com/stop-the-world-10/) - I wanna get off! LOL! It's 8:30 in the morning; breakfast is not made, coffee is not made, California is burning down, and the world is going to Hell on a proverbial handcart. SOMETHING is wrong with the pool, but I'll be dayumed if I can figure out what it is. Calling Pool Dude has - [Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda...](https://funny-about-money.com/coulda-shoulda-woulda-2/) - Ever look back on some damfool thing you should have done or, more to the point, shouldn't have done and think..."coulda, shoulda, woulda," all the while kicking your idiot self in the metaphorical tuchus? The past couple of days have been haunted by that less-than-charming state of mind: When my father and his late-life lady - [Apocalypse!](https://funny-about-money.com/apocalypse/) - Good Lord! Have you been following the nightmare news out of Southern California? Sooooo thankful that we don't live there anymore. We moved to Long Beach, where I was born in another century, after my father changed jobs from Standard Oil to Union Oil. Upshot of that shift was that instead of shipping out of - [Argh! When was the last time....](https://funny-about-money.com/argh-when-was-the-last-time/) - I felt this weary at 6:00 p.m? LOL! Just this minute, I could very easily fall face-forward in the sack and conker out... Alas, that would mean that along about 10:00 p.m. -- tonight! -- I'd be WIDE AWAKE with noooo hope of getting back to sleep... Ohhhh well.... Dawg and I: just back from - [Worser and Worser](https://funny-about-money.com/worser-and-worser/) - Our honored civic leaders are engaged in another gambit to degrade the quality of living in our part of town. One of their favorite projects is the lightrail, a boondoggle that multiplies the cost of public transit, limits it to specific routes (unlike a bus route, a train must stick to the expensively installed train - [Been there... Yow!](https://funny-about-money.com/been-there-yow/) - Holee mackerel! I can remember smelling the smoke from fires like this when my parents and I lived in Long Beach -- back in the Dark Ages. Quite a few ages have passed since those days...and now, here we are again. Five major fires around L.A. and Malibu... What a horror show! Some estimates claim - [Conflagration!](https://funny-about-money.com/conflagration/) - Wow! Can you believe those wildfires in California? When I was in high school, we lived not far from some of these venues -- although in solidly urban, in-town areas. Not in combustible suburbs, that is. Though we were a goodly distance from fire-prone areas, I sure can remember, as a kid, worrying whether the - [Colder Than a By-Gawd...again!](https://funny-about-money.com/colder-than-a-by-gawd-again/) - LOL! That was one of my father's common habitual sayings, come a chilly day: "It's colder than a by-gawd out there!" I always imagined he meant "bigod" and wondered how a Norman family name came to signify something extreme. But...hey...oh well. Truth to tell, this morning it's really not that cold out on the back - [Wow! I'm in!!](https://funny-about-money.com/wow-im-in/) - Dunno how, but for reasons unknown WordPress just let me back into Funny about Money. Yeah. Here we are, coming onto midnight. The crazy-making Ailment is kicking up, making every tap on the keyboard HURT. And now the goddamn system goes down. Yeah. Now I can't get back into my li'l website. Wander off. Go - [Wow! Clo$e call...](https://funny-about-money.com/wow-cloe-call/) - Sometimes you accidentally do things that redound to your benefit....or magnificently against your benefit. Check this out: I almost bought a condo right in this area. Smack in the middle of rapidly redeveloping downtown Phoenix. Now, our honored leaders are about to insert TEN HIGH-RISE APARTMENT BUILDINGS there. Can you imagine what a zoo that - [WHY restaurant food???](https://funny-about-money.com/why-restaurant-food/) - As those who have followed Funny about Money for awhile know, dear Semi-Demi-Ex-Boyfriend (SDXB) is a gifted and renowned cheapskate. The guy doesn't diddle away money -- any money -- on much of anything. If the result ain't worth the price, he ain't spendin' his cash. Early on in our relationship, I learned that this - [Ah, the Good Ole' Days...](https://funny-about-money.com/ah-the-good-ole-days/) - Well, lookee here. This charming event occurred within walking distance of our beautiful old historic home in the Encanto district -- the first house DXH and I owned together. The Encanto/Palmcroft district really is a lovely area. I miss its pretty streets and friendly neighbors and beautiful park with its lakes, every day. I could - [The Cracking of the Dawn](https://funny-about-money.com/the-cracking-of-the-dawn/) - Good grief. It's all of 6:37 of a Sunday morning, running up to New Year's Day. One could say waaa! i wanna sleep in! Except that I've already done that. Went to bed with the sun last night, and now have had some unholy number of hours of uninterrupted sleep. That last adjective -- uninterrupted - [YDK: Lost and Gone Forever?](https://funny-about-money.com/ydk-lost-and-gone-forever/) - YDK -- the beloved Young Dr. Kildare -- seems to have flown the coop. Yes, it is possible that he and his partners have closed the office for a holiday break. But if that were the case, surely they’d a) have a sign on the door to that effect and b) have some sort of - [Grrrrrrr....](https://funny-about-money.com/grrrrrrr/) - Dratted computer is out of whack. Can't figure out how to fix it. Now will have to drag it to the computer store, stand-in-line stand-in-line stand-in-line stand-in-line stand-in-line.... After half an hour or 45 minutes, get up to the tech desk. Put them up to trying to fix whatever is going on....this will soak up - [Puffing Her Way to Hades...](https://funny-about-money.com/puffing-her-way-to-hades/) - It's hard to understand, for me, how my mother could have failed to grasp that she was killing herself with her incessant cigarette-puffing habit. Matter of fact...I think she did know it, and that she quite deliberately killed herself. Yeah. With tobacco. She'd had a difficult life, although my father doted on her. But...before he - [Back at the Ranch....](https://funny-about-money.com/back-at-the-ranch/) - Gosh, I miss our wonderful old ranch, up on the Mogollon Rim outside of Yarnell. What a beautiful place!! And what fun, what charm, living out in the middle of nowhere, on the bank of a lovely river, ten minutes out of a rustic cowboy town. Today, walking around our once-suburban, now wholly citified neighborhood, - [Scared Witless](https://funny-about-money.com/scared-witless/) - Nope. There really is no other explanation for my mother's behavior and habits than that she truly was scared witless. Yeah. I kinda knew it, largely because part of her motherly teaching was that I should be extremely cautious and yes, always, always, ALWAYS lock all the doors and windows before going to bed at - [...ROARRRR....](https://funny-about-money.com/roarrrr/) - Not only that, but ARF! Yea, verily: ARF, we say! 11:38 p.m. and the cop copter is circling about to the north of us. And...when you are a dog, is there any chance in Hell that you're likely to hunker down on the bed and stay in the sack while the cops are chasing robbers? - [What the Dickens?](https://funny-about-money.com/what-the-dickens/) - It's just NOT THAT COLD outside: 45 degrees on the back porch. But for some inscrutable reason, it seems a whole lot colder than that. Don't know why it seems so chilly: no overcast, no wind; But colder 'n' a by-gawd. No sign of the Beloved Pool Dude this morning, but the pool is totally, - [What if...what if...why didn't I?](https://funny-about-money.com/what-if-what-if-why-didnt-i/) - Ever ask yourself that question, LONG after the fact? Why didn't I...make this small move or that obvious decision that would have cut off a disaster at the pass? An obvious disaster... What WAS the matter with me that I failed to dispense the most obvious, simple-minded advice? Sitting here thinking about my father's painful - [Duck for Cover!!!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/duck-for-cover/) - What... A.... Place!!!!! Here I yam, trying to sizzle a nice steak on the 'Cue. And there the cops are: circling, circling, circling in their copter. They've been buzzing the intersection to the north of us for the past 30 minutes. This means... A sh!thead has been reported to 911; they're tryin' to catch him. - [My Mother Killed Herself](https://funny-about-money.com/my-mother-killed-herself/) - I'd guess she cut at least 10 to 15 years off her life with the incessant smoking, and the bootleg booze couldn't have helped. (Alcohol was illegal in Arabia, a Moslem country...so we Americans in camp made our own. My parents had a still in our storage closet and and a lash-up on our kitchen - [Grrrrrrrrr.....](https://funny-about-money.com/grrrrrrrrr/) - Okay, okay...it's NOT the middle of the night. Quite. Actually, it's only a bit after 9 p.m. But....but dammit! I wanna go to sleep! Dawg has rousted me off the bed twice. Just got her back in the house for the second time and settled again on the bed when rrrrroooooflapflapflapflapooooaarrrr spins overhead. Cop copter. - [Colder 'n a Bigawd...](https://funny-about-money.com/colder-n-a-bigawd/) - ...as my father used to say. Things were ...colder than a bigawd ...hotter than a bigawd ...faster than a bigawd ...slower than a bigawd ...bigger than a bigawd ...and so on to infinity. LOL! His language had a lot of dialectal characteristics. So I never knew whether one of his characteristic turns of phrase was - [The Times (and the Demographics), they are a-changein'](https://funny-about-money.com/the-times-and-the-demographics-they-are-a-changein/) - Sorta... Spent half the afternoon (and more!) puttering around the Old Neighborhood where DXH and I lived for the first fifteen years or so of our married life. My goodness, I loved that area, with its elegant historic houses and its big beautiful park and its...well...let's face it: its whitey-white neighborhoods. Yep. It was (and - [Doggy-Walk-a-Roonies](https://funny-about-money.com/doggy-walk-a-roonies/) - Honestly...circumambulating the park is only about a mile's walk, assuming we don't go through the Richistans. Dunno why that seems like a bit of a hike -- because it isn't -- but for some inscrutable reason it felt like we'd trekked to Afghanistan and back by the time we got home this evening. Ohhh well: - [One Ringy-dingy, Two Ringy-dingies...](https://funny-about-money.com/one-ringy-dingy-two-ringy-dingies/) - Rousted out of the sack before dawn this morning: another goddamn phone solicitor! The jerk companies that hire these folks recruit them out of the Far East: Philippines and waypoints. It's broad daylight where the scuzzes are calling from...here, it's still pitch black out. This does not elicit a polite response from me. :-/ But - [Sittin' on the dock of the...uh...pool...](https://funny-about-money.com/sittin-on-the-dock-of-the-uh-pool/) - Staggeringly gorgeous weather. This is one of the best times of the year in Phoenix...and most times of the year are exceptionally good. :-D Thinking about... * My father retiring. He figured he had it made: their little house paid off plus enough in savings to carry him and my mother through the rest of - [And Another Lovely Evening...](https://funny-about-money.com/and-another-lovely-evening/) - THIS evening made all the lovelier by the absence of perps fleeing cops in helicopters. :-D Ruby and I perambulated our part of the Hood, plus Lower Richistan and Upper Richistan. What a hoot, right before Christmas. The locals LOVE to decorate these old houses and their half-acre yards with their mature, beautiful trees. Kids - [Eeeek! Duck for Cover!](https://funny-about-money.com/eeeek-duck-for-cover/) - Ah, another lovely evening in beautiful North Central Phoenix. Ruby and I are loafing in the family room. The back door is hanging open to let in the lovely, cool evening air. ...when,.. ...suddenly... ROAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!!!!! Cop copter shoots over the house like an angry MIG. Chasing a perp, evidently. He roars over, then circles around, Cop copter, chas a perp, shoots through the 'Hood. - [Kissy-Wissy...icky wicky???](https://funny-about-money.com/kissy-wissy-icky-wicky/) - Bangin' around, looking for a church whose choir someone of my modest skills could join. One whose customs and thinking do not make someone of my modest religiosity nuts. Far's I can tell, if any such institutions exist, they're few and far between. The choir at the Episcopal church where I sang for some years - [AUUUGGH!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/auuuggh/) - It Just NEVER Freakin' STOPS! Now Google won't let me into my G-mail account. And NO, I didn't change a password. NO, I didn't do anything weird. So presumably that account has been hacked. Ducky. Dammit. Now, come ten o'clock this morning, I've got to schlep across the city to the computer store and beg - [Aging in Place...by Damn!](https://funny-about-money.com/aging-in-place-by-damn/) - Why in heaven's name did I never think of this? It's so obvious! Hire someone to come to the house and provide the services you'd get in an old-folkerie. What would be the advantages? What would be the disadvantages? What would be the effect on M'hito? What be the effect on me? Y'know, my father - [Wow! Sprouts: OUTTA THERE](https://funny-about-money.com/wow-sprouts-outta-there/) - Okay. This evening tore it: I ain't a-goin' back to our Sprouts, no way no how! How many times do you have to be hustled over your plastic grocery bag to get sick of it? How many times do you have to be panhandled in the parking lot to get sick of it? How many - [It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's a...NUT CASE!](https://funny-about-money.com/its-a-bird-its-a-plane-its-a-nut-case/) - LOL! Yes, I do believe we've ascertained that it's a nut case, abetted by an industrious bird. Or...who knows?...maybe by a space alien. Just now I'm perched on a kitchen chair in the garage, trying to ascertain whether a persistent beep!... beep!... beep!... is coming from the house-wide smoke alarm system, from something gone on - [Gorgeous Morning](https://funny-about-money.com/gorgeous-morning/) - The sun has risen on a magnificent clear day. Ruby the Corgi and I have circumambulated the 'Hood, and now we're back in the shack waiting for the water to heat so as to make a pot of awesome coffee. And I think... I'm thinking about a friend of mine and his wife, who was - [What could be better....?](https://funny-about-money.com/what-could-be-better/) - ...Than a neighbor's kid? :-D The young lesbians catty-corner across the street are outside with friends, along with a couple of absurdly adorable small children. EGAD, but I love other people's kids! Migawd, kids are wonderful! But they're particularly wonderful when you don't have to put them to bed. Or haul them out of bed - [Wiley Comes a-Visitin'](https://funny-about-money.com/wiley-comes-a-visitin/) - The 'Hood is one of the northernmost outposts of a Phoenix district locally called "North Central." The place consists largely of single-family homes on lots ranging from 1/4 to 1 full acre, with large lots watered by the city irrigation system installed when the former farmland was transformed into ticky-tacky. LOL! Actually our houses are - [All He!! Breakin' Loose](https://funny-about-money.com/all-he-breakin-loose/) - So there we are, Ruby the Corgi and I, strolling around the park, when we hear WEEE-OOO WEEE-OOO WEEE-OOO melodramatically wailing from Conduit of Blight Blvd. Now what? The choices are richly manifold: Apartment building on fire Single-family home on fire Business on fire Major car crash on one of the three-lane slabs running north - [Found! {sort...}](https://funny-about-money.com/found-sort/) - Okay, okay! {grrrrrrr!} I take back this morning's grousing about the lost lawn chair cushions, a crab-fest to which, mercifully enough, Funny's readers were not exposed. Just a few minutes ago I found the "stolen" cushions in a back bedroom's closet, where I'd tossed them to get them in out of the elements. And where, - [A...a...n...d furthermore....](https://funny-about-money.com/a-a-n-d-furthermore/) - Here's what was going on yesterday evening, while Ruby the Corgi and I were doggy-walking and dodging bullets. {sigh} Y'know, this stuff is gettin' old. I'm beginning to think SDXB was right; time to move to Sun City, where you can enjoy the Silence of the Mausoleum, day in and night out. Having lived in - [Lovely Uptown Phoenix](https://funny-about-money.com/lovely-uptown-phoenix-2/) - rrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrr HONK HONK HONK RRRRRRRRRRR beep beep beep thwack thwack thwack thwhack.... Ahhh, the lovely melody of the 'Hood! Major wrecky-poo to the west of us on Conduit of Blight, just as Ruby and I stepped out the front door for a doggy-walk. So we head out in the opposite direction. An hour later, the - [Holy Junkmail, Batman!](https://funny-about-money.com/holy-junkmail-batman/) - Just happened to go into the email program's "junkmail" folder, and...forgodsake!!!! Almost 550 junkmails have poured in since the first of the month! That's in just two weeks! DayUM, what a nuisance. Nuisance because I've got to scroll through all that crap looking for any messages that are NOT junk, and nuisance because now I've - [Never a Dull Moment in Crime Central...](https://funny-about-money.com/never-a-dull-moment-in-crime-central/) - So Ruby the Incredibly Fierce Corgi and I go for a walk along about dark. We circumnavigate the lower reaches of Upper Richistan and then roam back to the Funny Farm. As we reach our street, I notice a cop copter circling around over the nearest intersection with Conduit of Blight Blvd, about three lots - [One Good Thing!](https://funny-about-money.com/one-good-thing/) - Well, here's a little miracle: FaM let me in on the big desktop computer, a vast and aging Macintosh. Normally I use a laptop. The desktop is very beautiful and wonderful, but these days it's profoundly uncomfortable for me to sit in a wooden chair for hours (or minutes....) in front of an office desk. - [De-brrrrrr'ed....](https://funny-about-money.com/de-brrrrrred/) - And now, two days later, it's lovely and balmy on the back porch. The young people's wonderful little kids are playing in their backyard, their beautiful kiddy voices wafting over here from their yard. Glorious afternoon! What could be better? Just back from the Goodyear Tire shop, a couple blocks to the north of the - [Brrrrrrrrrrr!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/brrrrrrrrrrr/) - Not to say Grrrrrrrr! Thursday, November 7 It's amazingly cold out there on the back patio: down to a bone-shivering 45 degrees. :-D Dontcha wish you lived in Arizona, where people think 60 degrees is too cold to get outta bed? At 9 a.m. -- well before it, actually -- Ruby and I have circumnavigated - [Memories](https://funny-about-money.com/memories/) - You know you're gettin' old when a passing remark on a website evokes a twinge of memory and sentimentality. This morning I stumbled upon a mention of the late (now long late) San Francisco Chronicle columnist, Herb Caen. Oh, my: he was wonderful. Could that guy write! More to the point, he could report. My - [Old Age: Live Free or Die???](https://funny-about-money.com/old-age-live-free-or-die/) - Is it possible to live independently in your dotage, right up until you die? * Maybe, depending on how you define "independent." * Maybe, depending on how much cash you can fork over to an "independent living" outfit. * Maybe, depending on how long "right up until you die" is. Just heard from Semi-Demi-Exboyfriend, who - [How Do We Love Hallowe'en?](https://funny-about-money.com/how-do-we-love-halloween/) - Let us count the ways.... Seriously: I get SUCH a kick out of the annual Hallowe'en shindig! And I believe most of the neighbors do, too. The WonderAccountants and I have made an Annual Custom of sitting out on their driveway and handing out candy. It is SUCH a hoot! The kiddies are as cute - [A Balmy Afternoon in Lovely Phoenix](https://funny-about-money.com/a-balmy-afternoon-in-lovely-phoenix/) - Speaking of garden spots where you duck for cover as the local F16's blast by you (as we were this morning), jet planes have been roaring over the back yard half the afternoon. Bored with that racket, I got in the car and went for a real-estate-ogling drive. Frankly, I didn't see much that interested - [Duck! Cover! Or something....](https://funny-about-money.com/duck-cover-or-something/) - Pour a cup of coffee; prepare to sit down on the back porch to take the morning air; and you get RRR-R-O-O-O-A-A-R-R-RRR!!!! Cop copter charges over the house. Circles around the 'Hood,. Roar roar roar.... Meanwhile, twenty miles away, out at Luke Air Force Base, a squadron of fighter jets practices take-off and landing: rrrRRR-O-O-O-A-A-A-R-R-R-R-R-R!!!!! - [Adventures in Internet Life](https://funny-about-money.com/adventures-in-internet-life/) - Monday Evening… All the Internet connections in the neighborhood are down. Down, down, downy-down-down. This means I can’t use any of the phones in the house, all of which are fake land-lines. Right now the only way I have to call 911 or try to reach any other kind of help is through the accursed - [SURGE of PANIC](https://funny-about-money.com/surge-of-panic-2/) - On the road. Exiting the Lowe's, having failed to find the security door I coveted. But while walking around in there, I do discover... I've lost my metal card holder containing every ID and credit card to my name... Not in any of my pockets. Back into Lowe's: Not turned in to lost & found. - [HONK!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/honk/) - Do some things put you into a rage, when you reflect upon them from the perspective of several years on? The subject of today's rage, such as it is, is the memory of my poor ex-husband's unholy air-horn snoring...and of his S.O.B. doctor who patted me on my little head and said don't worry, dearie, - [Wow!](https://funny-about-money.com/wow/) - Wow, indeed! What a GORGEOUS evening! The sun has settled into a turquoise and orange bed. The sky is dark enough for some stars to shine out, but the sunset irradiates the western sky. One star -- no doubt Venus -- hangs above us in the evening air. Incredibly beautiful! Ruby and the Human: just - [WHY do people do this?](https://funny-about-money.com/why-do-people-do-this/) - What if your bright and educated daughter showed up one day with a Certified Total Jerk and announced, "We're in love! We're getting married and moving to a dump in the middle of nowhere because -- y'know! -- he's a mining engineer!" What on earth WOULD you do? That's the story of my (former) mother-in-law. - [Just one minute of peace...puhleeze, police?](https://funny-about-money.com/just-one-minute-of-peace-puhleeze-police/) - Argh!!! Cop helicopters buzzing all over to the northeast of us. NOW what? They're right over the canal, which suggests someone -- very probably a kid -- fell in. But...the area they've been covering -- quite a few square blocks -- suggests they're after a perp. LOL! Speaking of perps, WonderCleaningLady seems to have made - [Clinging to Independence in Old Age](https://funny-about-money.com/clinging-to-independence-in-old-age/) - What would be involved in duplicating an old-folkerie's amenities in your home? Let's think about that... What did my father get at Orangewood, the "Life-Care Community" of his choice? two meals a day weekly housecleaning (probably emergency cleaning if needed) 3 rooms: living/sitting, 2 bedrooms 1 bathroom public lawn outside living-room slider place to park - [Another lovely day in Arizona {glub!}](https://funny-about-money.com/another-lovely-day-in-arizona-glub/) - Just back from the fastest doggy-walk in history. We're told to expect pouring rain...and it looks like the skies are gearing up for just such. At six in the morning, skies are overcast and water is beginning to sprinkle out of the clouds. This meant we dared not venture out on Ruby's favorite doggy-walk route - [Oh...Emmm...Geeee!](https://funny-about-money.com/oh-emmm-geeee/) - I can't believe it! Just heard from my "doctor in the wild" -- i.e., an MD who is NOT associated with the Mayo Clinic. Yeah: I keep a doc in the wild for two reasons. The main one: the Mayo is located halfway to Payson: damn near an hour's drive from here. So that means - [Lovely Uptown Phoenix...](https://funny-about-money.com/lovely-uptown-phoenix/) - Ah, yes. Three-thirty in the morning and another gunshot rings out. Sounded like it came from Main Drag North. However, it could've been a neighbor taking a pot-shot at another prowler. The other night, one of the locals found some sh!thead standing in his teenaged daughter's bedroom, gazing fondly at the sleeping kid. What. A. Three-thirty in the morning and another gunshot rings out - [Lovely REMOTE Uptown Phoenix](https://funny-about-money.com/lovely-remote-uptown-phoenix/) - LOL! As I'm wont to call my North Central district of (un)lovely Phoenix, Lovely Uptown Phoenix may still have a few lovely enough neighborhoods, but no part of it is centrally located, as the "uptown" sobriquet implies. The Valley is now one long, gooey swath of sub-suburbs. You drive until you're blue in the face - [Stop the World...](https://funny-about-money.com/stop-the-world-9/) - i wanna get off!!!!! This damn place -- lovely uptown Phoenix -- gets crazier and crazier with each passing day. Accumulated passing days have given us insane cross-streets and neighborhood roads: lunatic drivers, roads that go nowhere, a construction zone at every turn...what a horrible place! Wait, wait... Whew! A miracle just happened: Wordpress let - [Whatever You Want...](https://funny-about-money.com/whatever-you-want/) - ...You can't have it. Right? It's not even 7:30 in the morning, and this has already been One of Those Days. Plumber is supposed to show up at 8:00...Dawg and I roll out at 6:30 or so. Feed dog. Get dressed. Have you ever tried to deny a dog a doggy-walk? No? Don't even think - [So Glad Not to Be There](https://funny-about-money.com/so-glad-not-to-be-there/) - On any ordinary day, to tell the truth, I'm mighty glad I no longer live in Saudi Arabia...or really, anywhere in the Middle East. But these days: holy mackerel! [oooookayyyy... Wordpress won't let me add a link. So, here it is, for the copy-and-pasting: https://www.bbc.com/news/videos/czrm4k1e7d0o Best described as egad!] It was a horrible place to - [The Salton Sea Boondoggle](https://funny-about-money.com/the-salton-sea-boondoggle/) - About the time we came back from Saudi Arabia for (thank gawd!) our last long leave, my father celebrated by purchasing the Car of His Dreams: a Chrysler sedan. He bought it in New York. He and my mother drove it across the country to San Francisco, where he took up a first-mate's job on - [The Insane Fidgeting of Tempus...](https://funny-about-money.com/the-insane-fidgeting-of-tempus/) - Tempus fidgets, as my mother used to say. (Yah: very funny. Chortle!) Yesterday evening I was thinking about my college boyfriend -- let's just call him P. -- whom my parents hated, loathed, and detested. Why they so reviled the man was something I could never figure out. To this day, it's just a guess...but - [Porch Pirate Repellant...Redux](https://funny-about-money.com/porch-pirate-repellant-redux/) - The signs I put in front a year or so ago, asking the Beloved Amazon Dude or Dudette to please bring packages inside the courtyard and not leave them out on the driveway, rotted away in the blasting sun and the driving rain. Interestingly, the signs actually work! The Amazonians do bring their deliveries into - [Encanto Dreamin'...](https://funny-about-money.com/encanto-dreamin/) - Or...nightmarin'? Why I'd rather live up here at the top of Central Avenue than in the beautiful, classic Encanto neighborhood downtown whence we came, lo these many years ago: * Quieter. Lots less noise. Further from the airport. No fire station three houses down the street. * Our park seems safer than large, beautiful, mega-public - [Soooo glad not to be there...](https://funny-about-money.com/soooo-glad-not-to-be-there/) - Back at the ranch: This charming episode occurred in a classroom on the suburban campus where I taught for lo! those not-very-many years. Thank goodness I managed to get an editorial job at the university's main campus, and then to retire. Actually, back in the Day, we didn't feel too much concern about potential violence - [He Gave It a Good Try....](https://funny-about-money.com/he-gave-it-a-good-try/) - So I drove through the Walmart parking lot where our favorite little neighborhood coffeeshop resided. When SDXB lived here in the'Hood, we used to trot over there every couple of days to loaf over a cup of (excellent!) coffee before we went about our appointed errands. The place was situated right across the street from - [High Noon at the Hubs of Hades...](https://funny-about-money.com/high-noon-at-the-hubs-of-hades/) - Good GAWD, but it's hot out there! Hot and humid! Just back from a brief perambulation with the dog: over to the park, tromp down to the playground, then trudge on back via Feeder Street E/W. Our honored civic leaders have got the streets plowed up all around the place, so there's relatively little traffic - [Old(!!!) Home Day](https://funny-about-money.com/old-home-day/) - Omigoodness! Just came in from a totally pointless, idle, and radically sentimental cruise of the Old Neighborhood. It's still there. It's still called the Encanto neighborhood. It's still beautiful. It's still infested with the Young and the Upwardly Mobile, who seem to invest most of their money and their energy in fancifying and preserving the - [Uh oh... Not to say GOOD GRIEF!](https://funny-about-money.com/uh-oh-not-to-say-good-grief/) - Just experienced one of those blinding insights... You know, when you're loafing around and all of a sudden something SOOO FUKKIN OBVIOUS dawns on you and you say to your idiot self what the HELL was the matter with me that I didn't think of this???? Yeah. What HAS been the MATTER with me? *** - [Cutest thing...](https://funny-about-money.com/cutest-thing/) - ....i've ever seen! Seriously (okay, not very)...this afternoon THE cutest young fella came up to me in the Safeway. A nifty-looking black gent, simply too, too handsome. He wanted to know which aftershave was most likely to appeal to his lady friend. :-D How adorable can you get, eh? {heh!} Yep: afraid i failed to - [Someday in My LIfetime...?](https://funny-about-money.com/someday-in-my-lifetime/) - Waiting...and waiting...and waiting...and waiting...for the exterminator guy to show up. Nice long rivers of bug shit are streaming down the west wall from the attic. That would be, as we know, TERMITES. So I need to get somebody to get up in the attic, spray nauseating toxins around up there. Then hire a carpenter to - [Hotter than a Swamp in the Hubs of Hades....](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-a-swamp-in-the-hubs-of-hades/) - Another cozy warm afternoon in lovely Arizona. All I wanted to do out there in the freakin' backyard was pull the garden hose around to get water on the trees (whose automatic watering system has failed) and on the weed in the middle of the backyard (whose automatic sprinkler has failed) and on the roses - [Uh huh: "Another Beautiful Day in Arizona..."](https://funny-about-money.com/uh-huh-another-beautiful-day-in-arizona/) - "...Leave us all enjoy it," as the late Governor Jack Williams, that avatar of hickish literacy, used to crow on his morning radio show. We have a chilly 80 degrees outside, with FORTY PERCENT HUMIDITY. Traipsing around the park with the dog was like spending 40 minutes in a sauna. One good thing, though: not - [Swampy Day//Swampy Brain](https://funny-about-money.com/swampy-day-swampy-brain/) - Quarter after 7 in the morning. Just back from an hour-long doggy walk through the swamp: 80 degrees on the porch (relatively cool! ...but...). Fifteen percent humidity. So sez Wunderground! I would dispute that: it is a SWAMP out there just now. The air is so wet you feel like you're swimming through it. Good - [Hotter'n'the Hubs...again...](https://funny-about-money.com/hotternthe-hubs-again/) - After 6 p.m., and the thermometer on the back porch -- which has been in the shade all day -- reads 95 degrees. That's down considerably from the 100+ we've had all day. Need to take the pooch for a walk...but I'm kinda afraid to do so. The pavement -- especially the black asphalt on - [Why Did I Never Think...?](https://funny-about-money.com/why-did-i-never-think/) - Ever wonder why, years after the fact, you didn't think of something that was obvious? Something you missed because you blew off the circumstances without thinking about them? Well...lemme tellya... My parents' best friends -- closest friends for most of their adult lives -- went back to their home state, Texas, because my mother died. - [Urk! Southern California Redux...](https://funny-about-money.com/urk-southern-california-redux/) - At 3:25 in the afternoon here in lovely uptown Phoenix, it is SO SMOGGY out there that the sunLIGHT shining (or attempting to shine) in through the front windows is ORANGE. No kidding. I've seem some dim days here, but this one takes the sunny cake. It's very much like a smoggy day in (un)lovely - [Sentimental Journey...](https://funny-about-money.com/sentimental-journey/) - Oh, my goodness! You cannot begin to imagine how much my mother would have loved my son. How smart she would have thought he was. How right on in his moral compass and opinions. And how I would have loved for her to meet him. Those thoughts (among one helluva lot of others) drifted through I've never coveted the Sun Cities: It's segregated housing. - [Weirder and Weirder...](https://funny-about-money.com/weirder-and-weirder/) - ¡CENSORED! My honored son disapproves of what I posted an hour or so ago and demanded that I delete it. {sigh!} Not being even faintly in the mood to argue, I capitulate. Okay okay okay DELETE DELETE DELETE {grind teeth grind teeth grind teeth} The implication, one suspects, is that he hasn't read enough posts - [Stop the World...](https://funny-about-money.com/stop-the-world-8/) - It's long past time to get off. Seriously. Today it dawned on me that I just can't keep on going like this. No friends. No activities. No creative work that makes one damn bit of difference. No job. No way to get a job. No one who cares. Gotta find some place for the li'l - [Here Come De Rain!](https://funny-about-money.com/here-come-de-rain/) - Welp! Here we are: barreling toward the close of a balmy day in lovely Arizona. Lively thunderstorms blast back and forth across the northern sky. Shoot out the back door: water the potted plants. It's 108 out there. Skies full of fat, dark thunderclouds. Saith Wunderground: "gusty winds will push south across the Phoenix valley - [She Shouldn't Have Died. He Shouldn't Have Had to Suffer...](https://funny-about-money.com/she-shouldnt-have-died-he-shouldnt-have-had-to-suffer/) - It's a ridiculous thing to say in hindsight, of course: My mother should not have had to die from the effects of her smoking habit. She was in her 40s when the word came down that smoking would kill you. But...by then she'd been smoking since she was in her early 20s -- maybe longer - [Things That Shouldn't Have Happened](https://funny-about-money.com/things-that-shouldnt-have-happened/) - My father: Good God! I look at his life and think of it as tragedy. Truly heart-breaking tragedy. His mother going off the deep end His bigotry: given that THEY WEREN'T WHITE! That he dropped out of school My mother, the love of his life, killing herself with tobacco Me thinking that I was better - [Home or Old Folkerie?](https://funny-about-money.com/home-or-old-folkerie/) - Sittin' around the house thinking.... Am I gonna be able to stay in my home until I croak over? Or will I be forced to sell this place and lock myself up in one of those prisons for old folks? You know whereof we speak: "life care communities." All the rage for keeping elderly delinquents - [Tales of the Hood...](https://funny-about-money.com/tales-of-the-hood/) - Argh! Started to write this and then discovered I was typing away in the middle of y'day's post. Trying again... Sunday morning 8 a.m. Temp: 92 degrees Humidity: 28% Predicted high: 108 degrees Just back from the daily junket around the park. I'm soaked. Ruby just drank half a (large!!) bowl of water. Fluffy white - [Arizona Magnificence](https://funny-about-money.com/arizona-magnificence/) - Oh, my. How is it possible for the sky to be so magnificent? For the air to be so charged? For beauty to be so beautiful? Yep. this is one of those incredible, awe-inspiring, can't-possibly-be-real monsoon afternoons. A great wind blows through, laughing and celebrating. Vast, miles-high piles of white and pearl-gray clouds loom upward, - [No Title?? How about..."How they came, how they went"...](https://funny-about-money.com/39585-2/) - How he must have suffered. That's what I think, when I recall my mother's dying...in their marital bed, in the bedroom of their beloved little house in Sun City. My mother smoked herself to death. Yes. She knew: she knew smoking would kill her, and she did it anyway. She smoked. And she smoked. And - [Soggy Doggy Glorious Day...](https://funny-about-money.com/soggy-doggy-glorious-day/) - WHAT a spectacular morning! High clouds make for a glorious sunrise as Ruby the Corgi sets out to drag the Hu-mann around the neighborhood. Oh, my: it's just gorgeous out there. And damp. And sticky... Very humid: 31%. What really, dear Wunderground, does that mean? Are you saying that 31% of the atmosphere we're trudging - [Heah Come De Rain!!](https://funny-about-money.com/heah-come-de-rain/) - Wow! The Ruby and I just dodged inside in the nick of rain-time! Failing to realize how fast the storm to the north was barreling our way, I fired up the 'Cue and stacked my dinner on the grill. Not one of my smarter moves. Pressed for time, we got the chow inside -- Ruby - [Soggy Doggy Day](https://funny-about-money.com/soggy-doggy-day-2/) - Seven ayem: 90 degrees in the shade of the back porch. Overcast. Humidity: 34%. UGH! Feels just like (un)lovely Saudi Arabia. This kind of weather, right on the shore of the Persian Gulf, was typical summer weather. It rarely got as hot as Arizona does, but on the other hand. Arizona rarely gets as humid - ["Another Beautiful Day in Arizona..."](https://funny-about-money.com/another-beautiful-day-in-arizona-3/) - "...Leave us all enjoy it!" LOL! That was the radio signature of a long-time talk-show host here in the earlier times of Arizona. He would sign on to his program and then crow, It's another beautiful day in Arizona! Leave us all enjoy it! LOL! Right: if 100 degrees and humid is beautiful, this morning - [Gaaahhhh!](https://funny-about-money.com/gaaahhhh/) - One of the problems w/ being unemployed...uhmm, "retired"...is that your schedule (such as it is) is out out whack with everybody else's. 11:30 a.m. JUST ready to draw a bath, get dressed, and head out for errands. This, after loafing all morning playing computer games. Arise from my leather throne. Stumble toward the back bathroom, - [Cruisin' and Musin'...](https://funny-about-money.com/cruisin-and-musin/) - Cruisin': yes. Cruising through classic North Central neighborhoods, eyeballing the real estate: the big old classic ranchers on their half-acre+ lots, admiring how handsome they are and remembering what it was like to live in Phoenix's version of Upper Richistan... Musin': ohhh yeah! Thinking about how I just did NOT fit in with Phoenix's upper - [Retiring to the Life of Riley?](https://funny-about-money.com/retiring-to-the-life-of-riley/) - Gettin' old...gettin' old. My son is beginning to fret, far more vocally than before, about my staying here alone in my middle-class four-bedroom house. Quite reasonable is his fear that I'll trip (AGAIN!) and fall (AGAIN!!), but this time inflict some much more serious harm (breaking a shoulder was quite enough...) or even kill myself. - [Doggy-Walk in the Time of Alzheimer's...](https://funny-about-money.com/doggy-walk-in-the-time-of-alzheimers/) - Heeeeee! Or is it Alzheimer's in the Time of Doggy-Walk? Darned if I can tell! :-D Ruby and I charge out the door about the time dawn cracks. Soooo hot and humid out there, it feels like Saudi Arabia in the summertime.... except here we don't have a Persian Gulf three blocks from our house. - [Quack Day](https://funny-about-money.com/quack-day/) - A-n-n-d...speaking of doctors, as we were yesterday...in a few minutes I need to head off to a dermatologist. One of my fingernails is lifting right off its bed -- for, as far as I can tell, no good reason. I haven't hurt my hand, and none of the other nails are doing that. Well...no: not - [Another Balmy Arizona Summer Day...](https://funny-about-money.com/another-balmy-arizona-summer-day/) - I.e., you have to be balmy to keep on living here!!! Just now it's 106 in the shade of the back porch, 20% humidity. Clouds built up to the north, tantalizing with a vague promise of rain...but as we scribble, they're burning off. Arizona...what a garden spot! Man, I'll take San Francisco fog over burning - [Fears](https://funny-about-money.com/fears/) - What are you scared of? We're all scared of something, whether it's a real something or a something we blow up all out proportion. Most of the time, the more we think about it, the more we scare ourselves. :-D Me, I'm scairt of...what? The local burglars. We live...what: about a mile?...south of a dire, - [Soggy Doggy Day II](https://funny-about-money.com/soggy-doggy-day-ii/) - Ick! It is SOOO HUMID out there at 7 in the morning that by the time the pooch and I got home from a leisurely mile's stroll through the 'Hood, I literally had to peel my jeans off my legs! NASTY weather, hideously reminiscent of Ras Tanura, Saudi Arabia...only without the beautiful beaches on the - [Morning in Lovely Arizona...](https://funny-about-money.com/morning-in-lovely-arizona/) - A Day Later...A Dollar Shorter And now it's 7:20 of a hot, muggy Friday morning. Just NASTY out there! Ruby and I are back from this morning's doggywalk, having dodged...well...not TOO many (for a change) "fur-babies" and their non compos mentis humans. Only two dogs were running around (illegally!) off-lead -- we managed to stay - [SURGE of Panic](https://funny-about-money.com/surge-of-panic/) - :-D Gosh, what could be better than starting your day with an adrenaline rush? As dawn cracks, it's off to the grocery stores and waypoints. Right? R-i-i-g-h-t.... Get dressed. Get the dog settled. Load the car with iced water. Find the shopping list. Get the... uh... get the... get the...KEYS! uhhnhhhh... Keys...NnnnnOo. No, no, and - [Outta here](https://funny-about-money.com/crazy-as-a-loon/) - M'jito, ever wiser than his de-marbled muther, advised me to delete the most recent post, the one about today's Adventures in Medical Science. NATCHERLY, Wordpress won't let me just kill it. ohhhhhh nooooo...that would be easy, eh? So: let's delete the content and replace it with blather: Herewith. Stop the world...i wanna get off! - [NOW it hits me???](https://funny-about-money.com/now-it-hits-me/) - Ever have anything dawn on you, or strike you with an unnoticed significance, years after the event? Betcha most of us do. But...I'll bet this one takes the cake. My mother died of self-inflicted cancer -- she smoked herself to death -- when I was pregnant with my son. Said son is now around 40 - [Soggy Doggy Day...and a Sentimental Journey](https://funny-about-money.com/soggy-doggy-day-and-a-sentimental-journey/) - 7:45 a.m. Ninety degrees in the shade. 41% humidity. I'm so parboiled I can't think: don't know why WordPress is letting me write in this post, since apparently I'm not actually logged in. Or something. But lo! It let me out AND let me back in. Weird! Just back from a truly unpleasant doggy-walk. The - [This, That, & the Other](https://funny-about-money.com/this-that-the-other/) - Hotter than the Hubs out there...and wetter than the bottom of the Arctic Ocean. Seriously: it is SO hot and SO humid, you step out your (soggy) front door into a corner of Hell. Or...more likely, into a corner of Lovely Saudi Arabia. Today and yesterday have been weirdly reminiscent of the balmy old days - [Muggy Muggy Day](https://funny-about-money.com/muggy-muggy-day/) - Ugh! This was NOT the morning for a doggy-walk! By the time we got back -- it's only a mile around the park -- my clothes were drenched in sweat. No exaggeration: just SOAKED. Fortunately, the weather was hot enough and wet enough to keep the worst of the Dog-Loving Morons inside. We had to - [Heah Come de Storm...](https://funny-about-money.com/heah-come-de-storm-2/) - Eeek! We're looking at a serious storm a-rollin' in, right this minute. Wunderground expects our lovely weather to chill down from the present 106 degrees to a crisp 86, with thunderstorms, a few of which may be "severe." Ya don't say, Jose? Jeeminee, you should see that sky! Welp, as much as can be battened - [What Does Inflation Do to Your Savings Goals?](https://funny-about-money.com/what-does-inflation-do-to-your-savings-goals/) - Every now and again, I think of my father and his goal to earn back the substantial fortune his mother had squandered that her father, the 19th-century buffalo hunter, had accumulated in the process of clearing the Plains of Indians and wild livestock. She herself was an Indian woman: Choctaw. If you happened to know - [Wednesday](https://funny-about-money.com/wednesday/) - Seven-thirty in the morning: 90 degrees in the shade of the back porch, humidity 44%. Back from a mile-long walk with the Hound. Hotter than the hubs out there, and soggy. Ruby doesn't seem to notice. She rockets along the whole route like she was shot out of a cannon. The irrigation system is crapping - [Another Morning...](https://funny-about-money.com/another-morning/) - Even grosser than yesterday: FIFTY-TWO PERCENT HUMIDITY! :-d It's like a sauna out there. Took the dog for a walk through the swamp. Just awful. Got back. Noted an appointment at the Mayo on the calendar. HUH? Someone named Cheney....never heard of him. Look him up. He's a urologist. Double-HUH???? I don't need to see - [Hotter Than the Hubs...](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-the-hubs-3/) - Places I'm glad I'm not: No. 1: Butte County, California Egad! This is not all that far from where La Bethulia and La Maya live. CAN you imagine???? Makes 100 degrees in the shade and no tinder within reach look pretty good, eh? And yep: 110 is just we have out on the back porch - [Marble-Loss Update](https://funny-about-money.com/marble-loss-update/) - Well, I found some stuff at Sprouts that contains the stuff called inulin, which supposedly staves off marble-loss to some degree. Heh! We'll believe that when we see it, eh? Other than sometimes causing collywobbles or constipation, it apparently isn't especially harmful. So I guess I'm gonna try it, just to see if it helps. - [Morning on the Desert](https://funny-about-money.com/morning-on-the-desert/) - So as the summer dawn cracked, it was off for the daily doggy-walk. The Human does not get far around the Funny Farm without having to take the Dawg for the morning perambulation around the Park. This morning -- probably because it's Sunday and most of the other humans do not have to go to - [Incredible!!! And G'bye, Amazon](https://funny-about-money.com/incredible-and-gbye-amazon/) - Sooo.... Having discovered that I apparently have a dire condition of Olde Age that is likely to render me a vegetable -- or at best, insure that I can't remember my name -- I discovered STILL MORE: It develops that a woo-woo product called inulin MAY help preserve brain function for those of us who - [You have to be told this? REALLY?????](https://funny-about-money.com/you-have-to-be-told-this-really/) - It looks like my son has conceded the Battle of the Mayo Clinic Old Folks' Chatfest. This is a weekly meeting in which we all sit around a table and agonize about how we can't remember our names, much less where we put our shoes. This morning I'm told it's OK if we don't make - [More Muggletude](https://funny-about-money.com/more-muggletude/) - What was I saying about it never staying hot & muggy in Arizona long enough to make you crazy? Uh oh! Here come the white coats! Apparently my marbles had slipped out my ears when I wrote that squib... It is so hot and so gooey out there that it indeed does feel just like - [Crabbiness Update](https://funny-about-money.com/crabbiness-update/) - Okay. okay..... Yes, I did finally get through first edits of the client's book manuscript -- the project I was trying to focus on whilst being forced to sit through three hours of whinging by marble-short old folks at the Mayo Clinic. Sent that off to him last night. But...hmmmm.... Yeah: BUT... If he goes - [THIS Is Life in the 21st Century?](https://funny-about-money.com/this-is-life-in-the-21st-century/) - Holeeee shee-ut! I have been left SO FAR BEHIND in our fine 21st-century culture that I can't even speak to today's fine moderns. Today, I sat in a Mayo Clinic doctor's office while she explained to me, in words of one syllable, how to use a paper calendar! No joke. Apparently their clients have become - [Soggy Doggy Day](https://funny-about-money.com/soggy-doggy-day/) - Just back from a morning doggy-walk, waiting for the water to heat up enough to make coffee. Wunderground says it's 93 degrees out there; 15% humidity; expected high: 113. Wouldn'tcha know it: M'hijito and I have to traipse to the FAR SIDE of north Scottsdale to go to another brain-numbing, BOOOORING get-together of the mentally - [112 degrees and...and...](https://funny-about-money.com/112-degrees-and-and/) - FOGGY????? Great Galloping Gods! No kidding: it's 112 in the shade of the back porch, and lurking to north of us is a low cloud bank that looks for all the world like fog. W? T? F? Just got back from galloping around town in the heat. Dropped by the mechanic's to describe the car's - [Hot Day, Hot Stove, Hot Dog....](https://funny-about-money.com/hot-day-hot-stove-hot-dog/) - Out the door at the crack of dawn: get Ruby her shot at a doggy-walk before it gets seriously hot. Not much chance of that, though. At 6:30 this morning, it was muggy as an Alabama day: 27% humidity a "dry heat" does NOT make. And it's supposed to hit 117 today. By that hour, - [Such Good Pay...](https://funny-about-money.com/such-good-pay/) - Ah, yes. I remember it well: My mother landing a job at the business office of the apartment development where we lived in San Francisco: Park Merced. It was a pretty place to live -- even a beautiful place: upper-middle class, with handsome, modernistic high-rise apartments and sweet little garden apartments. Priced on the high - [Another Unholy Day in Lovely Arizona](https://funny-about-money.com/another-unholy-day-in-lovely-arizona/) - Jeez. Ninety degrees in the shade, overcast, and raining. Well. Sprinkling: more like threatening rain. But the overall effect is Hotter'n The Hubs of Hades. This is the way Arabia was most of the summer. Here, we only get a few days of it. There, we got three months of it. How my father and - [July 4 Kaput](https://funny-about-money.com/july-4-kaput/) - Gosh. A whole post was almost done here, dated July 4. And...egad! Apparently I never published it. Out it goes. Far as I recall, it wasn't a truly horrible evening. Often July 4 is truly horrible here, with idiots setting off their bang-bangs way-y-y into the night. The reason for this: Our honored civic leaders, - [Balmy Summer Day(s) in Arizona](https://funny-about-money.com/balmy-summer-days-in-arizona/) - Tuesday: A hot, damp day in June Sooo...yeah. Come late afternoon, I go to throw a little chow on the grill. DayUM, but it seems kinda warm out there. Check the back porch thermometer. Ayup: 115 degrees. In. The. Shade. Well...really, I didn't need to toss the shrimp on the grill, did I? All that - [Hotter than the Hubs!](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-the-hubs-2/) - The morning clock has not hit 6:30. The hound and I have just returned from circumnavigating the park, dodging this dog and that idiot through 92-degree heat enhanced by 33% humidity. Hotter than the Hubs of Hades. That, mercifully, kept some of the park's Dog Parade traffic down. So I didn't have to drag Ruby - [{sob!) Bye-bye, Amazon!](https://funny-about-money.com/sob-bye-bye-amazon/) - For several years, I've loved Amazon deliveries. A bit pricey, but the convenience of having this excellent retailer drop everything at your door can NOT be beat. But today undid all those years of superb service. Not through any fault of Amazon, but because the 'Hood is...well...a 'Hood. Once or twice in the past packages - [Hotter Than the Hubs....](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-the-hubs/) - Three forty-five in the afternoon and it's 115 degrees in the shade of the back porch. A friend of mine heard from her son, who's serving time in the state prison for diddling a chippie (yes...that unkind description DOES fit) who was three days under the age of consent when her mother walked in on - [{pant! pant!} Hot...???](https://funny-about-money.com/pant-pant-hot/) - Gadzooks! It feels like it's hotter than a cookstove on the back porch...but it's only 111. WTF? Guess it's because it's kind of humid this afternoon. Wunderground pegs the humidity at 15%, which is kinda high for our parts. Ohhhh well. Trying to get a steak and a fistful of French fries cooked on the - [Another Day, Another Little Cri$i$](https://funny-about-money.com/another-day-another-little-crii/) - Homeownership: The Continuing Adventure. What a joy! Tuesday, June 18 Today's frolic is a busted door lock. A new workman. A pile of new bills. Yes. The back door lock jammed. Got it unjammed, but in the process busted the door knob. This made it impossible to secure the door closed. Fortunately, all the house's - [If you want a job done right...](https://funny-about-money.com/if-you-want-a-job-done-right/) - ...DO IT YOURSELF, dammit. The problem with cleaning ladies is that when they don't know what to do with something, they take it upon themselves to invent something to do with it. And that invention is rarely anything you or I would think of. I like to hide a front door key outside, in a - [Southern California Dreamin'](https://funny-about-money.com/southern-california-dreamin/) - {Chortle!} I was gonna title this post "Memories of the Ridiculous and the Weird." :-D Idly daydreaming, I happened to cast what remains of my mind back to the time when my mother and I moved from San Francisco (where I went to junior high school) to Long Beach, California (where a change of jobs - [Losing What Little Remains of My Mind...](https://funny-about-money.com/losing-what-little-remains-of-my-mind/) - At this rate, it doesn't take long to lose it all....that's f'r sure! GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! How can I say how baroquely I have had it, had it, HAD IT with life in the fu*king 21st century?!??? * How do I hate the electronic detritus? * How do I hate spending day after day after day without - [Daily Doggy-Walk](https://funny-about-money.com/daily-doggy-walk/) - 6:15 a.m.: Just back from a mile+ doggy-walk. Hot and humid: 98 degrees with 22 percent humidity. The weather kept most the stupes inside this morning, though. So...that was nice. We walked across a southerly street populated with big old classic North Central houses on big old classic irrigated lots. Whew! I am sooooo glad - [MAKE IT STOP, LORD!](https://funny-about-money.com/make-it-stop-lord/) - 7:14 a.m., and it's already ONE OF THOSE DAYS! Out the door with the dog as dawn cracked. We try to get an early start by way of avoiding the Dog Parade: everybody and his little brother, sister, cousin, aunt, and uncle is out by dawn at this time of year. Especially on a day - [Saved! In one small way...](https://funny-about-money.com/saved-in-one-small-way/) - So, as I was bellyaching earlier this morning, some idiot dumped a haystack outside my back gate into the alley, meaning I have to haul my trash around Robin Hood's Barn to reach the designated garbage barrel. But lo!!! Times change fast!! The City just sent a giant garbage truck up the alley, accompanied by - ["Good" Morning, America!](https://funny-about-money.com/good-morning-america-3/) - Holeeee mackerel! 6:42 in the morning and it's already a Day from Hell! Big Hell-ism: At 6:40 a.m., temp was slated to reach 112; humidity is already 26%. It's like a swamp out there. Just back from the daily doggy-walk. Got out early in an effort to avoid the Dog Parade. FAIL! Come dawn each - [Sentimental Wanderings....There she goes again!](https://funny-about-money.com/sentimental-wanderings-there-she-goes-again/) - Sources of (much-needed!) fun: Driving around and around, like when we were kids Of late, I've focused on that crucial element: fun. Haven't had much of that since I dropped out of the choir (plague!) and quit hiking alone in the Phoenix Mountain Parks (insane!) and no longer can afford to burn a tank of - [Here We Go Again...](https://funny-about-money.com/here-we-go-again-2/) - Grab your pistol and turn out the lights... WHAT a jolly place we live in. Never a moment of boredom around here. The cop copter is buzzing the block north of the Funny Farm, racing up and down the street I used to live on and the street SDXB used to live on. In between - [Wow! Close call...](https://funny-about-money.com/wow-close-call/) - Speaking of (more or less) resting in peace, as we were the other day.... HOLY mackerel, I just missed the off-ramp to the other world yesterday afternoon. Went up to the Home Depot north of the Phoenix Mountain Park, in search of a timer for the backyard hose. The old one has conkered out, after - [Resting in Peace, eh?](https://funny-about-money.com/resting-in-peace-eh/) - Welp, just this minute I'm sitting here waiting for a couple of lawyers to show up. To be more specific; the discussion will concern the mortuary in Sun City where my parents were laid to rest...without my advice, without my specific knowledge. Not to sound altogether too goddamn embittered, I have to allow that my - [R.I.P. Charley the Golden Retriever](https://funny-about-money.com/r-i-p-charley-the-golden-retriever/) - So Charley was despatched to his maker this afternoon, a very old and very sick dog. As it developed, Charley didn't pass a year ago, when we were told he was dying of megaesophagus. He doddered along, mellow and slow-moving, until today, when M'jihito had to call a vet to come put him to sleep. - [Tough Times...](https://funny-about-money.com/tough-times-2/) - No, the world is not coming to an end... Unless someone that you love is coming to an end. Unless that which you know has dissolved into that which you wish you did not know. Unless you miss by-gone friends. Unless...unless...unless... {sigh} Just now it feels like all those "unlesses" apply. My son's beautiful dog, - [100 Things about Myself](https://funny-about-money.com/100-things-about-myself/) - I wrote this in response to a question at Quora: "Can you write 100 things about yourself?" Having completed that little challenge, lo! I find Quora won't let it go online. So...Here 'tis: ********* Sher. Just now, my head hurts. Think that’s prob’ly because of allergies. Everything in sight is blooming just now. Can’t take - [By Golly! Missed This!!](https://funny-about-money.com/by-golly-missed-this/) - Leastwise, I think I did. Just poured a glass of wine, sat back, and logged in to write a post. And...and... And HERE'S THIS THING! :-D Apparently it never went online. So, dear friends and honored foes: The rumination from a few days ago... **** Is it only driving in Phoenix that I hate? or - [And further ruminating...](https://funny-about-money.com/and-further-ruminating/) - Yes. When you've lived in a neighborhood long enough to become a historic fixture, your brain is filled with layer on layer on layer of memories. Just now the adorable young father of the incredibly adorable young kids in the house behind us, spouse of the spectacularly adorable young mother, is out in the backyard - [Lawyer, eh? Think again about that...](https://funny-about-money.com/lawyer-eh-think-again-about-that/) - LOL! Last time I posted I ruminated on about how easy it would be to find a replacement for my late beloved estate (and miscellaneous other matters...) lawyer, DXH having been a prominent legal eagle here in the Valley of the We-Do-Mean-Sun. WRONG! DXH has been retired for so long that all his colleagues have - [Almost Time to Go...](https://funny-about-money.com/almost-time-to-go/) - Heh...perhaps metaphorically, as well as literally. My head is spinning like a top. No head congestion, so it's apparently not sinus trouble. And THAT doesn't bode well. Headed up into nearby Moon Valley to visit a New Doc, later on today. Beloved Y0ung Dr. Kildare (YDK) has left the practice of medicine again. This is - [Gotta Make a Plan....](https://funny-about-money.com/gotta-make-a-plan/) - ...for making a plan. Yeah. What's happening here is that enough of my marbles are rolling out my ears that I can barely remember my name, much less all the stuff that has to be done -- bills paid, workmen wrangled, vets visited, groceries bought, car maintained...on and on and on. It's getting harder and - [WTF??????](https://funny-about-money.com/wtf/) - An afternoon from Hell brought me home, through 40 minutes of cut-throat traffic, to a glass of wine, a wooden rolling chair in front of an uncomfortable desk, and -- when I went to sign in to FaM's dashboard -- a frantic warning that Funny's website has been phished and it was unsafe for me - [GRONK!!](https://funny-about-money.com/gronk/) - Not to say "LOL"! After a day of bopping around town, bouncing from here to the Mayo (halfway to freakin' Payson) through the tract-house neighborhood where my son's pals used to live to a thissa and a thatta...really, I don't even remember!...Finally got home. So, so melodramatically tired. One of the stops was a grocery - [Ups and Downs...or...Downs and Ups?](https://funny-about-money.com/ups-and-downs-or-downs-and-ups/) - April 13 (I think) Cox is down. Therefore the fake landline is down. And therefore (I guess…) for reasons unknown my computer can’t connect to the Internet. Actually, if my vague understanding of these techno-issues is sorta correct, the “land line” is no longer a real land line, but just another ethereal connection to the - [And More Neighborhood-Cruising....](https://funny-about-money.com/and-more-neighborhood-cruising/) - So, going in search of Donna Freedman, proprietor of the eminent personal-finance blog Surviving and Thriving, I cruised out to where she's visiting: her daughter's home in a sprawling suburb north of lovely uptown Phoenix. Wow! When we say this place is Southern-Californicating, we're not kidding. The area looks just like Orange County did when - [Whither the Hereafter?](https://funny-about-money.com/whither-the-hereafter/) - So. I need to decide where I want to be interred, with what amount and kind of rigamarole (if any), and how much it's gonna cost. So? To start with, Decision #1 = whether I'll be displayed in the same mausoleum where my parents are, or whether I'll ask to be buried in the Close - [Coulda Shoulda Woulda](https://funny-about-money.com/coulda-shoulda-woulda/) - Sittin' by the dock of the bay.... Actually: Loafing on the front patio, watching the hours flowing away... *** Just posted this squib at my favorite time-wastin' site, Quora. Is a PhD really worth pursuing? How many PhD students can really get ‘productive’ or real-time use output from their PhD research? Victoria Hay, Ph.D. Retired - [Stuff Happens...and Doesn't Happen...](https://funny-about-money.com/stuff-happens-and-doesnt-happen/) - LOL! Especially doesn't happen. Mostly because when you're old as the hills you forget how long ago it was that you watered the hills. :-D Seriously. I cannot remember ANYTHING, and when I do remember something, I can't remember where I put it. I thought I'd bought coffee the last time I trekked down to - [The Fate of Prognostication....](https://funny-about-money.com/the-fate-of-prognostication/) - LOL! Today I zipped out to the credit union to check on some small detail...and then ended up driving...and driving...and driving...and driv... Ugh! Driving around this city is a species of Hell, and today was no better than usual. But roaming up and down the homicidal streets of Phoenix generated some time to think about...this, - [Plus ça change...](https://funny-about-money.com/plus-ca-change-2/) - Actually, in some parts things don't change. In specific: humanity doesn't change. So...I have a friend -- more like a casual acquaintance, but a person whose company I value. We met some years ago through a business networking group. This outfit used to convene for a monthly business meeting out in Scottsdale. Eventually, for reasons - [Grrrrrr...Gas!](https://funny-about-money.com/grrrrrr-gas/) - Good grief. Oh, look! Alliteration! G...G...G...Gaaaahhh :-D Yesterday (was it only yesterday?) I had to refill a couple of propane tanks for the barbecue. We have three of them, which I usually get filled at Costco, where the price is right (uhm, well...) and the service excellent. But Costco is a drive from here, and - [Smoke Alarm Hell](https://funny-about-money.com/smoke-alarm-hell/) - Just about all the smoke alarms in the house are conkering out at the same time. It's beep! to the left of you and beep! to the right of you and new beeps every time you turn around. That's not surprising. We installed these alarms when I moved in, so they're...what? Eight or ten years - [Wow! What a ZOO!!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/wow-what-a-zoo/) - LOL! Just back from the neighborhood park, along about 6.p.m. What a MOB over there! So crowded was it, I was thinking it was a weekend. (When you don't have to go to work, you never know what day it is...) But no! It's a Tuesday afternoon! You never saw so many people in your - [So there!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/so-there/) - LOL! The latest set of exterior decorations is now mounted on the front gates and doors. :-D Gawdlmighty, i'm sooooo obnxious, even I think it's funny! Probably just like your neighborhood, the Funny Farm's 'hood is overrun with nuisance door-to-door solicitors. Some of these folks are peddling junk; others are trying to get signatures on - [Struggling Along...](https://funny-about-money.com/struggling-along/) - Wow! When they say the Land of Old Age ain't for kids, they aren't kidding! What a horror show the past few weeks have been. And...no end seems to be in sight, except for the obvious one. It's not like gettin' old isn't bad enough in itself: you're sick all the time, under siege from - [The Californication of Urban Arizona](https://funny-about-money.com/the-californication-of-urban-arizona/) - Wow! What an afternoon! M'jito, my wonderful son, kindly took his whole day off work to schlep me out to the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale, there to enjoy a whole series of annoying, time-consuming tests. This journey seriously did consume the entire day! No kidding. An hour to drive out there. The whole damn day - [A Minor Miracle...and Another Nuisance](https://funny-about-money.com/a-minor-miracle-and-another-nuisance/) - Apparently yesterday's fall didn't damage the arm any more than it was already damaged. Et voilà! As we scribble, the phone jangles. Costco: the tires I bought yesterday are in. I must arrive at the northwest corner of the Valley to get them installed: 3:15. Ohhhhhhhh goodie. Nothing like three hours' notice for a nuisancey - [Life in the Wild West...as it were...](https://funny-about-money.com/life-in-the-wild-west-as-it-were/) - Welp, here we are, rounding out the first quarter of the 21st century in the (un)lovely Valley of the Sun. It's a nice city, a relatively safe one compared to some of the sootier venues spreading eastward across the country. But it's still...a city. And...well...plus ça change.... Back in the dark ages, I used to - [Never an Effing Dull Moment](https://funny-about-money.com/never-an-effing-dull-moment/) - Lordie! I'm coming to hate this neighborhood. Ten in the morning, give or take a bit. Cop copter has been circling over the 'Hood for the better part of 45 minutes. He's right over my old house: a block to the north and a block to the west of this one. *** {Blogger wanders off} - [A Whole Wasted Day?](https://funny-about-money.com/a-whole-wasted-day/) - Good grief! Someone say it ain't so... Yesterday I spent the whole damn day batting from pillar to post, trying to repair one of the antique lamps that grace the bedroom. It flickers after it's been on for awhile, suggesting it needs some rewiring. No, a new light bulb doesn't fix the problem. One place, - [Tempus Continues to Fidget](https://funny-about-money.com/tempus-continues-to-fidget/) - Crimineee, here we are halfway through the first month of another year. Who'd've thunk it possible? When you're old, time shifts into the higher velocities. It passes with absurd speed. Yesterday I had one of the strangest experiences I've enjoyed in quite some time. I happened to be driving around on the east side of - [Gettin' Old...or Gettin' Walloped?](https://funny-about-money.com/gettin-old-or-gettin-walloped/) - Lordie, it's only ten to seven p.m., and I'm so tired I can hardly see. Ruby is crapped out at the bottom of the bed, presumably also reamed, steamed, and dry-cleaned. Of course, we've been awake half of every night, what with the New Year's "celebrations" and various acts of vandalism. Meanwhile, the docs out - [Off the Wall Since the Fourth of July](https://funny-about-money.com/off-the-wall-for-the-fourth-of-july/) - LOL! Actually, the issue is ON the wall: the great mounds of cat's-claw vines that have piled up all over my backyard wall. The one that runs along the alley. The alley where the Brats and the Nitwits are blasting off their bang-bangs...and will be, for hours to come. A few years ago, the State - [...a-a-a-n-d... The lingering aftermath](https://funny-about-money.com/a-a-a-n-d-the-lingering-aftermath/) - Believe it or not, the Wounded Dragon-Lady is actually up moving around! Believe it or not, the old bat is stumbling around the cave and even over the badlands of the backyard. It's a spectacularly beautiful morning, and here we are loafing away the balmy morning on the lovely little side porch in the shade - [We thought it was entertaining at 9 p.m.?](https://funny-about-money.com/we-thought-it-was-entertaining-at-9-p-m/) - Now it's 12:30 in the morning. THE most unholy racket has been going on out there since shortly before midnight: a long, loud rolling tattoo of BAM BANG BLAST BANG WHISTLE BLAST BANG BAM. Yeah. Some fun, eh Fun? What the Hell gets into people? Is every moron in the neighborhood (and in all the - [Unholy Christmas...Unholy Scheming](https://funny-about-money.com/unholy-christmas-unholy-scheming/) - Over in the fringe precincts of North Central's Richistan -- within walking distance of my son's house -- we had an unholy event the other day. Some nut case -- a rather prominent one -- murdered his entire family and then blew out his own diseased brain. The horror of this happening aside...that place is - [Stylishly Stupid](https://funny-about-money.com/stylishly-stupid/) - Thinking about the teachers we had in Ras Tanura's grade school, not with much pleasure where most of them were concerned. The first-grade teacher, Miss Woods, was excellent -- by the grace of God. We had no kindergarten, so at least this woman started me out on the right foot. The second-grade teacher was a - [Random ruminations...](https://funny-about-money.com/random-ruminations/) - Chilly, windy day: morning breezes have blown away most of the cloud cover. In an hour, I have to be at the physical therapist's, meaning I have to leave in 45 minutes. Nothing from my son as to whether he's picking me up or when. But this poses no problem for the appointment, because the - [A Miracle!!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/a-miracle/) - Hallelujah, brothers and sisters! WordPress let me into the Funny about Money site! Who'd've thunk it? Especially given that this is a Whatever Can Go Wrong Will Go Wrong day. Ugh! After slamming around and bamming around and hurting like Hell and trying to figure out how to talk my son into driving me to - [Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/grrrrrrrrrrrrr/) - Seven in the frikkin' morning. Gotta be outta here in less than an hour, on the road through wicked rush-hour traffic, headed for the dentist. Big lump on a gum. Cancer???? The way things have been going, I sure won't be surprised. So, soooooo tired! I've been up since two a.m.: never did get back - [Busted, Disgusted, and....](https://funny-about-money.com/busted-disgusted-and/) - ...and at least clean now! Managed to get in the shower all by myself this afternoon...AND washed my hair. It's a miracle! I can't believe it's been SIXTEEN DAYS since I did this to myself! Feels like it happened just a day or two ago. :-o But... Well, but it is beginning to feel noticeably - [WORSER & WORSER](https://funny-about-money.com/worser-worser/) - GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! Want pain? Lemme tellya PAIN! Spent the better part of y'day and this morning at the Mayo Clinic's ER. I fell face-forward on the tiled floor. Reflexively stuck out my left hand as I was going down. Whacked the Hell out of my hand. Busted the humerus, one of the long bones of the - [Stop the World!](https://funny-about-money.com/stop-the-world-7/) - ...I wanna get off! Dammit, it's not even 6:30 in the accursed morning and I wanna get off the world. WHAT. A. DAY! Already... Ruby has demanded to get up twice in the wee hours of an already insomniac night. This shouldn't matter, because I was already awake both times...but wishing I could please please - [Post-Hallowe'en in Arizona](https://funny-about-money.com/post-halloween-in-arizona/) - WHAT a gorgeous day! It's cool and clear and quiet and lovely. Already took the dog for a mile-plus walk. We may go out again, whenever I get off my duff. If I do. Last night was ridiculously fun. Hallowe'en is my favorite holiday! So much fun, ogling the kids' cute costumes and the grown-ups' - [Ohhh Gawd! It's too, TOO good...](https://funny-about-money.com/ohhh-gawd-its-too-too-good/) - Joys of homeownership: Plumbing, thug neighbors, berserk traffic, DIY car repairs...one could go on and on... - [Yow! The Car of My Dreams!!](https://funny-about-money.com/yow-the-car-of-my-dreams/) - Holeeee mackerel, if you haven't seen the latest Toyota pickup, you surely should! <3 <3 <3 I'm sitting at the Toyota dealership waiting for the crew to finish working on my car. Wait and wait and wait and... Ohhhhh well...what else have I got to do, eh? At any rate, while I'm loafing in the - [Eeeek! Stop the freakin' WORLD!](https://funny-about-money.com/eeeek-stop-the-freakin-world/) - Like it wasn't already crazy enough... Traipse to the credit union: pointless. Guy can't tell me any more than I don't already know, which ain't enough. Stop at a Fry's supermarket to pick up a bag of candy to contribute to this month's KidFest. FIFTEEN BUCKS (!!!!!!!) for a couple pounds of tooth-rot!!! Cruise east - [Unstuck in Time: No question of it!](https://funny-about-money.com/unstuck-in-time-no-question-of-it/) - Tired, cranky, mad as the proverbial cat, and...yep. Unstuck in time. I sweartagawd! Life is one long frustration here in the endlessly annoying 21st Century. Stuff that used to be part of everyday life...well...it's GONE. If you want it, you can't have it! By "part of everyday life," I really do mean the most ordinary - [Good(?) Morning, America!](https://funny-about-money.com/good-morning-america-2/) - Dayum! Dontcha just hate it when you wake to a morning when everything you touch goes SPROOOOIIINNNGGGGG! Dawn cracked rather too long ago. It's quarter to seven, which means the sidewalks will be swarming with other people's dogs that "jus' wanna pwa-a-a-y"...which is another way of saying "swarming with morons." I must not have wiggled - [Wow! Another Narrow Escape](https://funny-about-money.com/wow-another-narrow-escape/) - Doesn't this look like charming Downtown Phoenix? (Well: yeah, it sure does!) Couple years ago, I very nearly bought a handsome li'l condo just about in the middle of this garden spot. As usual, I was craving to get away from the Tony Situation. One of the possibilities was to go all the way downtown - [GAAAAHHHH! STOP THE WORLD!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/gaaaahhhh-stop-the-world/) - :-D Ever have one of those STOP THE WORLD! days? One of those whatever can go wrong WILL go wrong days? LOL! As you may have surmised by now, we're having one o' them thar days here at the Funny Farm. Whatever I touch goes T-W-A-A-A-A-N-G-G-G!! or gets lost within 30 seconds. In-fukkin-credible! I've spent - [NOT a nice person...](https://funny-about-money.com/not-a-nice-person/) - Nope. Nooo, I'm surely not a nice lady. Not if you judge by this afternoon's antic. Need to go to the credit union. Actually, this visit is overdue, and I really, really need to schlep way to Hell and gone across the west side to the CU's office; bang around bang around bang around bang - [Tracking Down the Ancestral Myths...](https://funny-about-money.com/tracking-down-the-ancestral-myths/) - My mother's mother was a glamour girl named Olive Getten. She apparently, to hear my mother tell it, was quite the flapper. My mother claimed that she -- my mother -- was the illegitimately conceived offspring of Olive and a fella named DeLong, an a-scant offspring of a prominent turn-of-the-century family in upstate New York. - [Where were we...about stopping the world?](https://funny-about-money.com/where-were-we-about-stopping-the-world/) - Gawdalmighty, "STOP THE WORLD" seems to be the byword of the day. It's after dark. The dawg and I are fed. It's too crazy out there to go for an evening doggy-walk, so we're hunkered down. And hunkered in full stop the world mode. A cop helicopter is buzzing the 'Hood. Lemme tellya: these guys - [One "NOW WHAT" after another...](https://funny-about-money.com/one-now-what-after-another/) - Dawn cracks. Ruby is delighted: she dearly loves the break of day. Human is less thrilled. Ohhh well. We stumble outside, Ruby to patrol the yard and pee on everything, the human to...uhm...stand around. And... LO! A set of wet tracks has been laid down on the Kool-Deck...like someone or something climbed out of the - [But...I Want It NOW...](https://funny-about-money.com/but-i-want-it-now/) - Not tomorrow. Not next week. Not whenever I can find it (if I can) on the local market. NOW. It's spectacularly convenient to be able to order up this little thingy and that little doo-dad and have it delivered right to your door. Yes. That much must be admitted. That much must be admired. But The times, they've been a-changing... - [Stop the World? Yea, verily...](https://funny-about-money.com/stop-the-world-yea-verily/) - As I was saying the other day: Stop the World! :-D Mercifully, this morning the world does seem to have come to a stop. When I woke up, I thought TODAY I HAVE TO TAKE THE CAR TO GET THE REAR BUMPER REPLACED and ooooh lhudly sing goddam I've gotta be there by 7:30 and - [Wednesday, October 4, 2023...Stop the fukkin world, already....](https://funny-about-money.com/wednesday-october-4-2023-stop-the-fukkin-world-already/) - De bonne heure (which is a way of saying “at the crack of dawn”)... Well, the cop cars have moved on from Tony’s Home for Juvenile Delinquents. :-D When Ruby and I went out along about 6 or 6:30 this a.m., TWO cop cars were parked over there. Must’ve been quite the little dust-up under - [Another Fine Day y-Cumin' In....](https://funny-about-money.com/another-fine-day-y-cumin-in/) - Boyoboy, I can hardly wait. /s/ That's /s/ with a vengeance. You know it's time to go when you realize you're unstuck in time: I'm a creature of the 20th century that most surely does NOT belong in the 21st century. This afternoon I have to drive to a huge mid-town hospital complex to meet - [Another NOT a Disaster...waiting to be proven...](https://funny-about-money.com/another-not-a-disaster-waiting-to-be-proven/) - LORDIE what a day! Driving from pillar to post, chasing after the truth, bathing in nostalgia, getting...essentially nowhere.\ Gaaahhhhhhh! In comes a notice from American Express. They think I owe them something well in excess of $2,000, and I haven't paid it. This alleged bill is said to be massively overdue. My records say that - [Surprise!!! NOT a Disaster!](https://funny-about-money.com/surprise-not-a-disaster/) - Yes. For a change, something went more or less right today. And when I say "a change," I ain't kidding: whatever I've touched and whatever has touched me has gone SPROOOOINNNNNGGGGGG!!! Mostly this has had to do with money. AMEX claims it wasn't paid; AMEX claims a payment bounced (bullsh!t to that!); WonderAccountant's mind is - [Cry, the Beloved Weather...](https://funny-about-money.com/cry-the-beloved-weather/) - Holee mackerel, the weather is yucky. Not very hot: about 95° in the shade of the back porch. But humid: stuffy humid. Feels like it wants to rain, but there's not enough cloud cover to make that happen. Very glad I don't have to work outdoors here in lovely Arizona. Though many days are balmy, - [Watching Money Flow Out the Door...](https://funny-about-money.com/watching-money-flow-out-the-door/) - Good grief! It's Bankruptcy Day at the Funny Farm! :-o Actually, I can't complain. Or at least, shouldn't complain. Much. The other day, the garage door opener -- cry the beloved garage door opener! -- gave up the ghost. Died on the vine. Kaput. Though the door can easily be opened and closed manually, given - [Get-Off-Your-Duff Day](https://funny-about-money.com/get-off-your-duff-day/) - boyoboy, am i lazy!!! Seriously. What kind of loafer bellyaches because she has to get off her duff to pick up her messy house so the Cleaning Lady from Heaven can come in and work herself half to death scrubbing the place down? That would be moi. But truth to tell, I just do not - [...WILL go wrong](https://funny-about-money.com/will-go-wrong/) - Indeed. WhatEVER can go wrong will go wrong. This is turning into one of those days. It rained all night and was still heavily overcast when I rolled out of the sack. Decided I was NOT gunna drive way to Hell and Gone to the Mayo Clinic -- halfway to freakin' Payson! -- in the - [Wanted: Indiana Jones for Senior Consumers](https://funny-about-money.com/wanted-indiana-jones-for-senior-consumers/) - One of the many joys (yes: that's /s/) of aging is the attitude of Americans toward the elderly. This ranges from the nasty to the predatory: overall, Americans regard their older compatriots as idiots, negligible fools, and nuisances. One aspect of this is said to be that merchandisers all across the board target the elderly - [Wow! The Rip-off of the Day](https://funny-about-money.com/wow-the-rip-off-of-the-day/) - Tell me I'm doing the math wrong....please! This simply can't be right! So M'jihito has taken off for a road trip across the country with his lifelong pal, who lives in Pennsylvania and has come down with a very probably terminal cancer. This is Dear Pal's "bucket trip," they say: a road trip from his - [Whatever can go wrong...](https://funny-about-money.com/whatever-can-go-wrong-3/) - WILL go wrong! Somehow, Wordpress deleted the post I was writing, when I took time out to clean up another puddle of dog barf. I can't ...remember what I was saying, presumably because the constant interruptions disrupt what little cognition I have left. Oh, sh!t... Now he's getting ready to barf again. Poor old dog! - [Lordie! Make it stop!!!](https://funny-about-money.com/lordie-make-it-stop/) - 4:00 a.m. Charley, my son's crippled, superannuated dog who is staying here while his human bucket(-list)s around the country with his terminally ill buddy, is up and stumbling around. His nest has been in the family room, which is a sunken room (very stylish when this house was built) down two steps. Problem is, he - [ohhhhh-kayyyy.... Trying again...](https://funny-about-money.com/ohhhhh-kayyyy-trying-again/) - Wrote a post. Hit "Publish." Wordpress disappeared it. Jeez, thanks, Wordpress! Tired. Don't feel like trying to resurrect it. The afternoon is still light out, but I just wanna go to bed. Hot. Hotter than the Hubs of Hades. A-a-a-nd...overcast. Overcast and windy. Get home from a gallivant around the North Central section of town. - [Things [Don't] Work Out](https://funny-about-money.com/things-dont-work-out/) - September 5 On the way home from today's spectacularly unproductive junket to the Mayo, I eschewed the freeway and drove south through a middle-class neighborhood of Scottsdale, where my son's best friend in K-12 used to live. {there's a sentence! does it even make sense??} Two boys. Affluent. Brilliant fathers. Upper-middle-class incomes. Pals at a - [Waiting...waiting...waiting...and waiting some more](https://funny-about-money.com/waiting-waiting-waiting-and-waiting-some-more/) - Grrrrrrrrrr!!!!!! Gotta tellya: I've hated the telephone "hold" function from the moment it was invented. Like...I have nothing to do but sit here and wait until YOU get around to picking up the phone? Right... Then they added another annoyance: a recording that yaps on and on and effing ON to the effect that you're - [Happy Holiday...Now Stop the Effin' World!](https://funny-about-money.com/happy-holiday-now-stop-the-effin-world/) - :-D Honest to GAWD! WHY??? Why is it that EVERYTHING I WANT OR NEED TO DO has gotta be done the hard way? This, as you may instantly have surmised, is one of those days. You know: the kind of day when everything you touch, everything you want to do, everything you have to do - [Who Was Joe Kelly? Can memories be inherited?](https://funny-about-money.com/who-was-joe-kelly-can-memories-be-inherited/) - When I was a little kid, I lived about half my life in a fantasy world. Of course, I had to go to school, and so that dragged me out of Never-Never Land for seven hours a day, maybe nine months a year. But that notwithstanding, about half to three-quarters of my waking hours were - [Water! Falling Out of the Sky!](https://funny-about-money.com/water-falling-out-of-the-sky/) - Who'd've thunk it? Last night we got fierce thunderstorms rolling through the Valley. And...rain! This wet stuff that fell right out of the sky onto the ground. Weird... Seriously: it was one of the fiercest little freshets I've seen in awhile. Apparently it caused a fair amount of damage and -- horrors!! -- shut down - [North Central: Neighborhood from Hell](https://funny-about-money.com/north-central-neighborhood-from-hell/) - An entertaining discussion appeared this morning in the neighborhood Facebook page: (I give up trying to format this thing! Sorry for the glitches...Facebook content just does NOT carry over into blog format with any consistency. Gaaaaah!) Fernando M. Top contributor What’s going on with all of the cops and chopper? Victoria H. Top contributor F'r - [Twenty-First Century as Gigantic Rip-off](https://funny-about-money.com/twenty-first-century-as-gigantic-rip-off/) - Those of us who are decrepit enough to remember life in the late 1900s can surely attest that there were plenty of ripoffs on the float, back then in the "good" ole days. But jeez... Every which way from Sunday, here's somebody trying to siphon your money out of your wallet. I swear ta gawd! - [Report from the Hubs of Hades](https://funny-about-money.com/report-from-the-hubs-of-hades-4/) - It's 6:30 at night. Storm clouds are blowing in as we scribble. And the back-porch thermometer says it's 105 in the shade. Here in the coolest room in the house, loafing in the direct breeze from an air-conditioner vent, the thermometer says we have 80 degrees. Wunderground puts the outside temp at 109, with a - [Out and About in Loony-Toonsville](https://funny-about-money.com/out-and-about-in-loony-toonsville/) - Lordie. Just ONCE for a whole day to go by in quiet, level-headed sanity!! LOL! Unfortunately, you do not get into a car in these precincts and expect sanity of any kind to ensue. :-D What a place! So...the other day we had the excellent Haddox Electric over, doing battle with the latest Adventure in - [Eeeeek!](https://funny-about-money.com/eeeeek/) - Not to say A-a-a-a-a-k! Just saw the BIGGEST RAT I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE! She was lurking in the garage, and when she saw me she was just as startled as I was in spotting her. She shot underneath the dryer, where she presumably is hiding now. Called Ruby the Corgi, who came trotting - [Rain, Rain...Come Again?](https://funny-about-money.com/rain-rain-come-again/) - Here it is, mid-morning of an August day, high monsoon season. We've been told repeatedly that (eeeeek!!) a HURRICANE is blowing in from the west and (eeeeeeek!!) we must be prepared for heavy winds and lots of rain. Eeek. Well. What we have is a gray, overcast, still day. But so far nary a drop - [Revisiting the Good Old Days...](https://funny-about-money.com/revisiting-the-good-old-days/) - {ooookayyyy.... Let's see if this effort retains the formatting I kindly asked Wordpress to emit...} So...this morning, driving home from an expedition in a southerly precinct, I happened to wander through our old neighborhood, known hereabouts as the Encanto District. It's a beautiful area, consisting of tracts that date from the 1920s to present. The - [Brave New Annoyance....](https://funny-about-money.com/brave-new-annoyance/) - Lordie, am I ever tired of living in the Brave New World! Every which way from Sunday, you're assaulted by electronic nuisances and hassles. It's 3:00 in the morning. I'm sitting here playing with my computer by way of passing time until the current spate of insomnia passes. It's dark out. It's dark in, mostly, - [Speaking of Storms: The Perfect $torm...](https://funny-about-money.com/speaking-of-storms-the-perfect-torm/) - This morning the power went out in the two back bedrooms, shutting off my Internet connection and closing down the big computer. Jeemineee. Called the electrician, whose services I haven't needed in an age or two. He came over with a sidekick, and they spent the ENTIRE MORNING wrestling with the wiring. Truly: they were - [Heah Come de Storm!](https://funny-about-money.com/heah-come-de-storm/) - Eek! SIXTY-mile-an-hour wind gusts? Say it ain't so, dear Wunderground! We're told to batten down the hatches for a fine little freshet that's swooping in from the southeast. And yea verily, just now we're getting some startling rolls of thunder. Not raining here at the Funny Farm yet, at just 9:00 p.m. Wait, I take - [Dorkification Day](https://funny-about-money.com/dorkification-day/) - Monday August 13 Yes. It looks like today is going to be one of those Days of Dorkification... You know: when everything you touch goes KERSPROOIINGG and everything you do to try to fix it makes it worse. Today is Cleaning Lady Day. We might also name it after the proprietor: Ungrateful Wretch Day. Yes. - [Good Morning, America!](https://funny-about-money.com/good-morning-america/) - Midnight: Weird noise outside. What? Pool equipment run amok? Air conditioner on the fritz? Juvenile delinquents frolicking? Stumble outside. Cop copter is circling over the intersection of a neighborhood lane and Conduit of Blight Blvd. He flies up this way, then doubles back. Ugh. Why DO I live in Crime Central, anyway? Climb back into - [Flaming Horror in the Pacific](https://funny-about-money.com/flaming-horror-in-the-pacific/) - No doubt you've been following the scenes of disaster from Maui... How could you miss them? They're all over the news. And there but for the Grace of God...and a handy divorce court...go I. DXH loved to travel. Every vacation, nothing would do but what we had to jump on a plane and fly someplace. - [Now What?](https://funny-about-money.com/now-what-2/) - LOL! Speaking of the Hubs of Hades, the local denizens are as weird as anyone you would expect to reside in the Miltonic Underworld. :-D This afternoon I'm puttering around in the house, not doing anything consequential, and what do I hear but KEEEEEE-RASH!! Coming from the street to the east of the Funny Farm. - [Report from the Hubs of Hades](https://funny-about-money.com/report-from-the-hubs-of-hades-3/) - Good Gawd! It's only 105 out there, but it sure feels more like about 110 to 112. Probably because the humidity, sez Wunderground, is 24%. Meanwhile, inside the shack with the air-conditioning pounding away, the thermometer next to the bed where the dawg and I are loafing reads 84 degrees. Balmy. The AC is laboring - [Pool Dude: MIA](https://funny-about-money.com/pool-dude-mia/) - hmmmmm.... It's 9 o'clock in the morning... Got the right day? Yep: it is Monday. Pool dude is usually here and gone long before this. If he's been around, I sure haven't seen him. And if he had been around while I was here, Ruby would have alerted me. She is hopelessly in love with - [Report from the Hubs of Hades](https://funny-about-money.com/report-from-the-hubs-of-hades-2/) - When we say "hotter than the hubs of Hades," we ain't kidding. It's 9:00 at night, and the thermometer on the back porch -- in the shade all day, nestled among the leaves of an overgrown ficus plant -- reads 110 degrees. Yeah. That's right: ONE HUNDRED AND TEN DEGREES. In the shade. All day. - [Colonel, the Great Dane, and the Little Boy](https://funny-about-money.com/colonel-the-great-dane-and-the-little-boy/) - Did I ever tell this story here? Don't recall...so am gonna self-plagiarize from today's Quora post: **** Q: Do German shepherds make good guard dogs for homes and families with children? Ohhhhh my goodness. If you have to ask this question, you’ve never known a GerShep. Lemme tellya: First off, Greta the German shepherd, a - [High as a Kite? Or Crazy as a Loon?](https://funny-about-money.com/high-as-a-kite-or-crazy-as-a-loon/) - In central Arizona's lovely August heat, Ruby and I have to get out for the daily doggy-walk right at or even shortly before dawn. This stroll takes us around Upper Richistan, about a mile of shaded walking...two if we elect to walk up toward our friend Marge's house, visit the cow pasture in those parts, - [When the Gods Are On Your Side....](https://funny-about-money.com/when-the-gods-are-on-your-side/) - Or playing a practical joke... That's possible, too. We'll know soon enough. Doorbell rings as I sit here loafing. Ruby goes dog-bonkers. Now what? I haul myself upright, stumble to the front door, fling open the inside door...and... HOleee mackerel! There stands THE single most GORGEOUS young man I have ever seen. No exaggeration. The - [Long Hot Day....](https://funny-about-money.com/long-hot-day/) - "Hot" in more ways than one. This afternoon as I was idly cruising a neighborhood here looking for someplace to move away from the Romanian Landlord's antics, what should appear to the south but a HUGE plume of black smoke. It rose hundreds of feet into the air. You could see it was a distance - [Report from the Hubs of Hades: Last Day of July](https://funny-about-money.com/report-from-the-hubs-of-hades-last-day-of-july/) - Sleep. All I want is sleep. Whatever that is, it's in short supply. For sure! Pool Dude is supposed to turn up about now. Ruby, who's in love with him, has been standing guard at the windows, watching...watching...watching... No sign of the guy. Given the way things have been tooling along -- "whatever can go - [An Untitled Blog Post!](https://funny-about-money.com/38929-2/) - Lookee here! Y'day I hit "Publish" for this thing. Never noticed before this morning -- 6:53 a.m.! -- that it had no title. Aaaah senility! Ever entertaining! ***July 30, 2023*** Six p.m. and Wunderground tells us the balmy summer afternoon has cooled to 109 degrees. Hmmm...oh yah? Let's see what the real-world thermometer says on - [What. A. Place!](https://funny-about-money.com/what-a-place/) - A-n-n-d...it's 7:30 in the morning. Ruby and I are back from our regular one- to two-mile peregrination. Temp on the back porch has chilled down to a crisp 89 degrees. Brrr! One nice thing about the present heat wave: we didn't have to navigate around many other dogs. Usually it's a zoo out there: everybody - [Report from Hades North...](https://funny-about-money.com/report-from-hades-north/) - As we scribble -- 8:16 p.m. -- it's dark outside and 105 degrees on the back porch. Yea verily, a balmy Arizona evening. Humidity seems a little lower than it was yesterday. That's good in that dry air creates the illusion that the heat is lower than it is. And bad in that it fries - [EEEK!](https://funny-about-money.com/eeek-2/) - Here we are at 7:30 p.m. The sun has been down for awhile. Just let Ruby outside to wring her out after her evening feast. Glanced at the thermometer. Holeee shee-ut! It's 110 out there! Yes. That's 110 in a spot where no direct sunlight ever hits, sheltered by fronds of ficus leaves. At 7:30 - [Yipes!](https://funny-about-money.com/yipes/) - It’s 10:41 p.m., pouring rain: The power went out a few minutes ago. The Internet is out…and I mean OUT out. Not a single site comes up, including Funny about Money. (I'm drafting this in Word.) How exactly the Web works escapes me. But…uhmmmmm…I didn’t think it depended on a local power source. Google is - [Dogs Are...Weird](https://funny-about-money.com/dogs-are-weird/) - Did you know a corgi can go on point? And will, enthusiastically! It's the weirdest silly thing you ever saw: A tiny, furry, little pointy-eared dog standing on point outside the shrubbery that Ratty just ran into. She also knows when Ratty is residing in the marjoram bed and occasionally will go on point without - [A...n...d... Ninety Degrees and Overcast](https://funny-about-money.com/a-n-d-ninety-degrees-and-overcast/) - Heh...I failed to post yesterday's fine entry. So that just went online. This one will, too, in a few minutes...assuming I don't faint and fall on the floor first. {boyoboy, how d'ye like that alliteration! Shoulda been a poet!} It's 7 in the morning. Ninety degrees in the shade of the back porch overhang. Ruby - [Summertime, and the Livin' Is...](https://funny-about-money.com/summertime-and-the-livin-is/) - ...annoying... Fish are jumpin', 'cause they're boiling in their pond Oh your mama's rich, And you're daddy's...uhm...good-lookin' So hush, little baby, Don't you fricasee... Summer has done come in! The heat here in lovely uptown Phoenix defies belief...but that's normal. As a practical matter, though, it feels hotter than the 110 degrees we see on - [In-Effing-Credible....](https://funny-about-money.com/in-effing-credible/) - Whatever you want, whatever you need, whatever you have to do, it HAS to be the hard way! LOL! This morning I wanted to run by the grocery store to pick up an extension cord for the laptop and, while I was at it, replenish the pantry a bit. Visits to two huge supermarkets yielded - [Every Which Way from Sunday...](https://funny-about-money.com/every-which-way-from-sunday/) - I swear-ta-gawd, the hassles and the hustles never stop. They come in every which way from Sunday, and they come in every day AND Sunday. Today, in comes an email purporting to be from Fidelity, where vast quantities of my father's and DXH's money are invested. And it is one weird email... They want me - [You Thought the Hubs Were Hot?](https://funny-about-money.com/you-thought-the-hubs-were-hot/) - A-n-n-d...once again: 109 degrees on the shaded back porch, where direct sunlight never intrudes. But this evening we've got some overcast blowing in. That may bode well: rain will break the heat, if only for a few hours. Hmmm...but does it have meaning? Checking with the beloved Wunderground: Tonight we're supposed to drop to a - [Reporting from the Hubs of Hades...](https://funny-about-money.com/reporting-from-the-hubs-of-hades/) - 6:45 p.m. and it's 109 on the back porch. In the shade. Under a shade structure, inside the canopy of a hefty ficus plant. **** And now, f'rhevvinsake it's 7:54 p.m. and...and...what have I done to make an hour and 10 minutes disappear without a trace? * Unloaded the dishwasher * Reloaded with the current - [Quick (HOT) Trip to the Park...](https://funny-about-money.com/quick-hot-trip-to-the-park/) - A crisp 99 degrees at 7:30 this morning. But this balmy figure was besmirched by the humidity: almost 30%. Yeah: that's thirty percent. Ruby and I set out for the requisite doggy-walk around 5:30 or 6:00. Hoping the park would be free of its usual dog-and-human horde, we went in that direction, since she dearly - [Why I quit shopping at Costco...](https://funny-about-money.com/why-i-quit-shopping-at-costco/) - I love shopping at Costco. And I don't mind carrying a Costco card around to flash at the door and again at check-out. But the new demand that we ALSO flash a driver's license when paying up? Uhhh nope. - [Despatch from the Hubs of Hades](https://funny-about-money.com/despatch-from-the-hubs-of-hades/) - As we scribble -- 5:40 of a balmy early evening -- the thermometer nestled under the slatted patio cover and amongst the leaves of the hefty potted ficus tree reads 115 degrees. Consider, for a moment, how much cooler that is than the temp out in the direct sunlight. Eeeek! The AC, pounding along all - [A Balmy Evening...](https://funny-about-money.com/a-balmy-evening/) - ...for the balmy, that is... At 7:10 p.m. the thermometer on the back porch reads 109 degrees. Hey! Ya can't shovel heat! Nary a sign of the summer rainstorms known in these parts as "monsoons." But it's still a bit early for them. I think of monsoon as an August phenomenon. F'rhevvinsake, it's only July What a place we live in! - [WHY....?????](https://funny-about-money.com/why-4/) - Does EVERY GODDAM THING happen AT ONCE? Holee mackerel! It's not even 6:30 in the morning and already I've had to deal with a new rat infestation; with a sick, angry, scared dog; and a new plumbing leak...UNDER the side deck! Won't be able to get the plumber on the phone for two or three - [And now for a balmy afternoon....](https://funny-about-money.com/and-now-for-a-balmy-afternoon/) - Heh! After yesterday's 110° at 7 p.m., we're having a balmy afternoon today. At 4:30 in the afternoon -- usually about the hottest point of the day -- we've only barely reached the 110 mark. Brrrr! Taking advantage of the crisp temperature, I sallied forth to the Safeway, there to buy some eye salve for - [At the Hubs of Hades...](https://funny-about-money.com/at-the-hubs-of-hades/) - It's 7 p.m., and the thermometer in the shade of the back porch reads 111°. No kidding. It's a hundred and eleven degrees out there...in the shade...at 7:00 p.m. How in the name of Heaven do Gerardo and his guys survive in this, banging away they do? It's horrific to contemplate. My father survived, wrangling - [What next, Lord?](https://funny-about-money.com/what-next-lord/) - Thursday a.m. So I called the dentist this morning to try to weasel out of today's appointment. My understanding was, we were to discuss and maybe try to do something about the chronic pain in the upper left jaw. Ugh! Just what I don't wanna do with my morning... ....and in fact, when I rolled - [Amazon Publishing? Think Again!](https://funny-about-money.com/amazon-publishing-think-again/) - Check this out: This afternoon, what should land in the incoming email but this stalwart message from Amazon: On Jul 10, 2023, at 4:44 PM, KDP Customer Support wrote: Hello,We received a failure notification when attempting to pay your KDP royalties. To receive your payment, you’ll need to update your bank information in the - [Coolin' Down!](https://funny-about-money.com/coolin-down/) - Wunderground sez it's supposed to hit 112 today. But I wouldn't put any money on it. After yesterday's scorcher, this morning is nice and balmy. Skies are overcast, the cloud cover very slowly growing thicker. It looks suspiciously like we'll get some rain today. But best of all, the inside of the house has cooled - [Glub! Underwater in Lovely Phoenix](https://funny-about-money.com/glub-underwater-in-lovely-phoenix/) - It is SOOOOOO wet out there that all you have to do is stand outside to raise a sweat. wait wait! That's true of standing inside, too! Where does this city think it is? Dankest Georgia? Right now the sky is overcast -- seriously overcast, as in "gimme 45 minutes or an hour to deliver the - [August in (un)Lovely Arizona](https://funny-about-money.com/august-in-unlovely-arizona/) - Seven a.m. sharp. Just back from a mile-long walk through the 'Hood and Upper Richistan with Ruby the Corgi. Weather is HIDEOUS. Hot, cloudless, but dripping wet. This did mean, mercifully, fewer nitwits trotting around behind their "fur-babies," which meant less pestering, fewer evasion maneuvers, and faster progress. Usually our route is littered with numbskulls - [Passing WARM...Passing on to Afternoon from Hell!](https://funny-about-money.com/passing-warm-passing-on-to-afternoon-from-hell/) - We're told the World is going to Hell in a climate-warming handcart, ohhhhh eeeek! Be scared. Be very scared. Uhm. Ohh-kay. It's only 111 on the back porch, a little short of 11 a.m.. That's passing warm, but nothing to get hysterical about. This being, after all, the first week of July. When we say - [Never a Dull Moment](https://funny-about-money.com/never-a-dull-moment-5/) - Ohhhhhh lordie! IS there some reason why there's never a dull moment around the Funny Farm? 5:00 a.m.: Roll out of the sack. Stumble around. Throw on some clothes, feed the dog preparatory to going out the door by 5:30 for the morning Doggy Walk, which at this time of year needs to be accomplished - [Hotter than a Two-Dollar Cookstove!](https://funny-about-money.com/hotter-than-a-two-dollar-cookstove-3/) - That was my father's saying. Never heard it from anyone else...some sort of Southernism, I reckon. It's only 108 out there, but for some inscrutable reason, it seems hotter than that. I'd have guessed 112, if I hadn't seen the back-porch thermometer. Wunderground, my fave weather site, claims it's just 107. And truly NOT humid. - [All Fools' Eve: July 4](https://funny-about-money.com/all-fools-eve-july-4/) - Not even dark yet, and the morons around the 'Hood are setting off their bang-bangs. This will go on into the night, probably till about 1 a.m. What fine patriotic fun, hm? My alley wall is festooned with cat's-claw vines, wonderful fodder for fireworks-inspired spectacles. So, no matter how tired I happen to feel (and - [Hot Hot Hot](https://funny-about-money.com/hot-hot-hot/) - Hotter than the Hubs of Hades, as my father liked to crow. And holeee mackerel, it sure is hot. And humid. Here on the first day of July, August has come early, only without the briefly relieving afternoon rains. As we scribble, come 7:30 in the morning, Wunderground says it's 88 degrees out there, with - [RIP, Charley the Golden Retriever](https://funny-about-money.com/rip-charley-the-golden-retriever/) - The white retriever, actually. Charley was a breeder's fancified version of a golden: a typical furry golden, but with all white hair. Charley passed on to his furry fathers yesterday. He had a congenital ailment called megaesophagus, and it finally killed him. That, and age. I believe he was 12 years old, a very long - [{gasp!}](https://funny-about-money.com/gasp/) - 108 in the shade. Thermometer has been in the shade all day. :-o - [Gonna keep shopping at Costco?](https://funny-about-money.com/gonna-keep-shopping-at-costco/) - We're told that Costco's management, irked that so many non-members are throwing money at them, henceforth will demand two forms of picture ID at checkout. Isn't that swell? Y'know.... IMHO, having to haul around a special card to shop at Costco is already quite enough extra hassle. I don't carry a purse (to easy to Hold the hassle factor, Costco! - [Exit the covid bug...](https://funny-about-money.com/exit-the-covid-bug/) - ...well...I hope! The covid epizootic seems to be easing off. The fever is gone(!!). The cough is mostly gone. It's been a long haul, that's for sure. Some of the symptoms started as early as last February! In my li'l Hypochondriac's Journal -- an Excel spreadsheet used to record what pills I've taken and when ## Pages - [Good grief!](https://funny-about-money.com/good-grief/) - Why, whenever you have a hectic day, WHY do you end up wrapping it with another looney-toons episode? :-D Stumble into the house. Put away groceries. Fire up grill. Cut up the steak, preparatory to broiling. Get out the fresh asparagi: wash them and dip them in olive oil, the better to broil on the - [2 The Backstory](https://funny-about-money.com/2-the-backstory/) - Funny about Money background and rationale. - [1 About & Contact](https://funny-about-money.com/1-about-contact/) - About Funny about Money; Contact Funny about Money - [Privacy Policy](https://funny-about-money.com/privacy-policy/) - Who we are Our website address is: http://funny-about-money.com. What personal data we collect and why we collect it Comments When visitors leave comments on the site we collect the data shown in the comments form, and also the visitor’s IP address and browser user agent string to help spam detection. An anonymized string created from - [5 Ad Policy](https://funny-about-money.com/5-ad-policy/) - Funny about Money policy on paid links, display ads, advertising rates - [4 Disclaimers](https://funny-about-money.com/4-disclaimers-privacy/) - Funny about Money disclaimers for Amazon Associates and Google Adsense. Not a lawyer, accountant, financial advisor, psychologist, or psychiatrist. - [3 Cast of Characters](https://funny-about-money.com/3-cast-of-characters/) - Who's who for Funny about Money. Funny about Money's recurring characters. - [Archives](https://funny-about-money.com/archives/) ## Categories - [Uncategorized](https://funny-about-money.com/category/uncategorized/) - [Angst](https://funny-about-money.com/category/angst/) - [Banking](https://funny-about-money.com/category/banking/) - [Biweekly pay](https://funny-about-money.com/category/biweekly-pay/) - [Blogging](https://funny-about-money.com/category/blogging/) - [Book reviews](https://funny-about-money.com/category/book-reviews/) - [Budgeting](https://funny-about-money.com/category/budgeting/) - [Careers](https://funny-about-money.com/category/careers/) - [Carnivals & Festivals](https://funny-about-money.com/category/carnivals-festivals/) - [Common sense](https://funny-about-money.com/category/common-sense/) - [Computers](https://funny-about-money.com/category/computers/) - [Consumerism](https://funny-about-money.com/category/consumerism/) - [Credit cards](https://funny-about-money.com/category/credit-cards/) - [Debt](https://funny-about-money.com/category/debt/) - [Decluttering](https://funny-about-money.com/category/decluttering/) - [Economy](https://funny-about-money.com/category/economy/) - [Education in America](https://funny-about-money.com/category/education-in-america/) - [Ethics](https://funny-about-money.com/category/ethics/) - [Family](https://funny-about-money.com/category/family/) - [Frugal crafts](https://funny-about-money.com/category/frugal-crafts/) - [Frugal habits](https://funny-about-money.com/category/frugal-habits/) - [Frugality](https://funny-about-money.com/category/frugality/) - [Funny's Money Principles](https://funny-about-money.com/category/funnys-money-principles/) - [Gardening](https://funny-about-money.com/category/gardening/) - [Gasoline](https://funny-about-money.com/category/gasoline/) - [Giving](https://funny-about-money.com/category/giving/) - [Goals](https://funny-about-money.com/category/goals/) - [Health care](https://funny-about-money.com/category/health-care/) - [Household hints](https://funny-about-money.com/category/household-hints/) - [Idle essays](https://funny-about-money.com/category/idle-essays/) - [Investing](https://funny-about-money.com/category/investing/) - [Marketing psychology](https://funny-about-money.com/category/marketing-psychology/) - [Money management](https://funny-about-money.com/category/money-management/) - [Organization](https://funny-about-money.com/category/organization/) - [Personal Finance](https://funny-about-money.com/category/personal-finance/) - [Pets](https://funny-about-money.com/category/pets/) - [Real estate](https://funny-about-money.com/category/real-estate/) - [Recipes](https://funny-about-money.com/category/recipes/) - [Round-ups](https://funny-about-money.com/category/round-ups/) - [Shopping](https://funny-about-money.com/category/shopping/) - [Stress control](https://funny-about-money.com/category/stress-control/) - [Urban life](https://funny-about-money.com/category/urban-life/) - [Workplace issues](https://funny-about-money.com/category/workplace-issues/) - [beauty tips](https://funny-about-money.com/category/beauty-tips/) - [Retirement](https://funny-about-money.com/category/retirement/) - [Teaching](https://funny-about-money.com/category/teaching/) - [Entrepreneurs](https://funny-about-money.com/category/entrepreneurs/) - [Financial Freedom](https://funny-about-money.com/category/financial-freedom/) - [House & Yard](https://funny-about-money.com/category/house-yard/) - [Product reviews](https://funny-about-money.com/category/product-reviews/) - [Love Drop](https://funny-about-money.com/category/love-drop/) - [Politics](https://funny-about-money.com/category/politics-2/) - [Giveaways](https://funny-about-money.com/category/giveaways/) - [Irregular income](https://funny-about-money.com/category/irregular-income/) - [Money tools](https://funny-about-money.com/category/money-tools/) - [Stress-free Finances](https://funny-about-money.com/category/stress-free-finances/) - [Insurance](https://funny-about-money.com/category/insurance-2/) - [Business entrepreneurship](https://funny-about-money.com/category/business-entrepreneurship/) - [Hope](https://funny-about-money.com/category/hope/) - [Jewelry](https://funny-about-money.com/category/jewelry/) - [Annals of the Floored & Flabbergasted](https://funny-about-money.com/category/annals-of-the-floored-flabbergasted/) - [Whither America?](https://funny-about-money.com/category/wither-america/) - [Best of Funny](https://funny-about-money.com/category/best-of-funny/) - [Taxes](https://funny-about-money.com/category/taxes-2/) - [Automobiles](https://funny-about-money.com/category/automobiles-2/) - [Appliances](https://funny-about-money.com/category/appliances/) - [Privacy](https://funny-about-money.com/category/privacy-2/) - [Cookbook](https://funny-about-money.com/category/cookbook/) - [Books](https://funny-about-money.com/category/books/) - [Writing](https://funny-about-money.com/category/writing-2/) - [Publishing](https://funny-about-money.com/category/publishing-2/) - [Mastectomy](https://funny-about-money.com/category/mastectomy/) - [Boob Book](https://funny-about-money.com/category/boob-book/) - [Charitable giving](https://funny-about-money.com/category/charitable-giving/) - [Time management](https://funny-about-money.com/category/time-management/) - [Social media](https://funny-about-money.com/category/social-media/) - [Employment](https://funny-about-money.com/category/employment/) - [Connie on the Road](https://funny-about-money.com/category/connie-on-the-road/) - [Techno-skeptic](https://funny-about-money.com/category/techno-skepticism/) - [Editing biz](https://funny-about-money.com/category/editing-biz/) - [self-employment](https://funny-about-money.com/category/self-employment/) - [Life in the Desert](https://funny-about-money.com/category/life-in-the-desert/) - [If You'd Asked Me](https://funny-about-money.com/category/if-youd-asked-me/) - [The Complete Writer](https://funny-about-money.com/category/the-complete-writer/) - [Ella's Story](https://funny-about-money.com/category/ellas-story/) - [Give-away](https://funny-about-money.com/category/give-away/) - [Free Reads](https://funny-about-money.com/category/free-reads/) - [The Drugging of America](https://funny-about-money.com/category/the-drugging-of-america/) - [Dispatches from Hell](https://funny-about-money.com/category/desatches-from-hell/) - [Security](https://funny-about-money.com/category/security/) - [Dogs](https://funny-about-money.com/category/dogs/) - [bureaucracy](https://funny-about-money.com/category/bureaucracy/) - [Aging in place](https://funny-about-money.com/category/aging-in-place/) - [Prepping](https://funny-about-money.com/category/prepping/) - [Pandemic](https://funny-about-money.com/category/pandemic/) - [Marijuna](https://funny-about-money.com/category/marijuna/) - [Glenn Gunnells](https://funny-about-money.com/category/glenn-gunnells/) - [Scams & crooks](https://funny-about-money.com/category/scams-crooks/) - [Covid](https://funny-about-money.com/category/covid/) - [covid-19](https://funny-about-money.com/category/covid-19/) - [aging](https://funny-about-money.com/category/aging/) ## Tags - [15-year mortgage](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/15-year-mortgage/) - [30-year mortgage](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/30-year-mortgage/) - [academe](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/academe/) - [advanced degrees](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/advanced-degrees/) - [aggregators](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/aggregators/) - [Alexander McCall Smith](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/alexander-mccall-smith/) - [American empire](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/american-empire/) - [American Express](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/american-express/) - [American Humane Society](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/american-humane-society/) - [annual reviews](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/annual-reviews/) - [anxiety attack](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/anxiety-attack/) - [Apple](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/apple/) - [Apple Corp.](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/apple-corp/) - [Arizona State University](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/arizona-state-university/) - [art](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/art/) - [asbestos](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/asbestos/) - [automatic payments](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/automatic-payments/) - [automobile regulation](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/automobile-regulation/) - [automobiles](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/automobiles/) - [back-ups](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/back-ups/) - [bad buys](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/bad-buys/) - [bank accounts](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/bank-accounts/) - [bank charges](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/bank-charges/) - [bank ripoffs](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/bank-ripoffs/) - [banks](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/banks/) - [barbecue grills](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/barbecue-grills/) - [barbecuing](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/barbecuing/) - [beans](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/beans/) - [beauty hints](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/beauty-hints/) - [bees](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/bees/) - [bicycles](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/bicycles/) - [Big Brother](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/big-brother/) - [Big Pharma](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/big-pharma/) - [bill-paying](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/bill-paying/) - [bills](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/bills/) - [bimonthly pay](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/bimonthly-pay/) - [Black Friday](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/black-friday/) - [black-eyed peas](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/black-eyed-peas/) - [blog carnivals and festivals](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/blog-carnivals-and-festivals/) - [blog giveaways](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/blog-giveaways/) - [blog topics](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/blog-topics/) - [blog traffic](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/blog-traffic/) - [book publishers](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/book-publishers/) - [bookmarking](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/bookmarking/) - [boredom](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/boredom/) - [Bosch dishwasher](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/bosch-dishwasher/) - [box stores](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/box-stores/) - [brussels sprouts](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/brussels-sprouts/) - [bubble](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/bubble/) - [budget](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/budget/) - [budgets](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/budgets/) - [building regulation](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/building-regulation/) - [bureaucracy](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/bureaucracy/) - [burglars](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/burglars/) - [business](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/business/) - [buy local movement](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/buy-local-movement/) - [cabbage recipe](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/cabbage-recipe/) - [car buying](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/car-buying/) - [car mileage](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/car-mileage/) - [career](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/career/) - [Carnival of Money Stories](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/carnival-of-money-stories/) - [Carnival of Personal Finance](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/carnival-of-personal-finance/) - [cars](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/cars/) - [cash cards](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/cash-cards/) - [celebrations](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/celebrations/) - [chard](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/chard/) - [charity](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/charity/) - [Chase Bank](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/chase-bank/) - [cheap food](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/cheap-food/) - [checkbook reconciliation](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/checkbook-reconciliation/) - [child-proof packaging](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/child-proof-packaging/) - [Christmas](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/christmas/) - [class discrimination](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/class-discrimination/) - [cleaning](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/cleaning/) - [cleaning product safety](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/cleaning-product-safety/) - [COBRA](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/cobra/) - [coffee](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/coffee/) - [college degrees](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/college-degrees/) - [college preparation](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/college-preparation/) - [college students](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/college-students/) - [comfort food](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/comfort-food/) - [commuting](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/commuting/) - [compensation](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/compensation/) - [consumer behavior](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/consumer-behavior/) - [consumer complaints](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/consumer-complaints/) - [consumer confidence](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/consumer-confidence/) - [Consumer Reports](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/consumer-reports/) - [consumer resources](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/consumer-resources/) - [consumer ripoffs](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/consumer-ripoffs/) - [consumer rips](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/consumer-rips/) - [consumer safety](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/consumer-safety/) - [consumer service](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/consumer-service/) - [Consumers Union](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/consumers-union/) - [contests](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/contests/) - [contracts](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/contracts/) - [cooking](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/cooking/) - [copyediting](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/copyediting/) - [copyright](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/copyright/) - [copyright violation](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/copyright-violation/) - [corporate interests](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/corporate-interests/) - [cost benefit of pet adoption](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/cost-benefit-of-pet-adoption/) - [cost of driving](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/cost-of-driving/) - [cost of living](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/cost-of-living/) - [cost of pets](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/cost-of-pets/) - [Costco](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/costco/) - [coupon collecting](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/coupon-collecting/) - [couponing](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/couponing/) - [coupons](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/coupons/) - [Cox Communications](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/cox-communications/) - [coyotes](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/coyotes/) - [crafts](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/crafts/) - [crass](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/crass/) - [credit unions](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/credit-unions/) - [creditors](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/creditors/) - [crime](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/crime/) - [crisis](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/crisis/) - [critters](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/critters/) - [crossover point](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/crossover-point/) - [customer disservice](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/customer-disservice/) - [customer service](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/customer-service/) - [daydreams](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/daydreams/) - [death of journalism](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/death-of-journalism/) - [debit cards](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/debit-cards/) - [decision-making](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/decision-making/) - [deflation](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/deflation/) - [democracy](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/democracy/) - [depression](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/depression/) - [desert landscaping](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/desert-landscaping/) - [development](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/development/) - [dictatorship of Corporate America](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/dictatorship-of-corporate-america/) - [Dieting](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/dieting/) - [Digerati Life](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/digerati-life/) - [disaster planning](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/disaster-planning/) - [discrimination](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/discrimination/) - [dish detergent](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/dish-detergent/) - [dishonest credit card strategies](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/dishonest-credit-card-strategies/) - [dishwasher review](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/dishwasher-review/) - [DIY](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/diy/) - [diy cleaning products](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/diy-cleaning-products/) - [DIY dish scrubber](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/diy-dish-scrubber/) - [diy silver polish](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/diy-silver-polish/) - [DIY window cleaner](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/diy-window-cleaner/) - [do-it-yourself](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/do-it-yourself/) - [dog](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/dog/) - [dog care](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/dog-care/) - [dog collars](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/dog-collars/) - [dog euthanasia](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/dog-euthanasia/) - [dog fighting](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/dog-fighting/) - [dog food](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/dog-food/) - [dog food recipes](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/dog-food-recipes/) - [dog hair](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/dog-hair/) - [dog harness](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/dog-harness/) - [dogs](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/dogs/) - [domestic workers](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/domestic-workers/) - [downsizing](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/downsizing/) - [driving habits](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/driving-habits/) - [drought](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/drought/) - [DSL](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/dsl/) - [dumb mistakes](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/dumb-mistakes/) - [dumb signs](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/dumb-signs/) - [early retirement](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/early-retirement/) - [economic recovery act](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/economic-recovery-act/) - [economizing](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/economizing/) - [editing](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/editing/) - [education](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/education/) - [education and income](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/education-and-income/) - [education; US educational system](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/education-us-educational-system/) - [emergency fund](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/emergency-fund/) - [energy conservation](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/energy-conservation/) - [energy savings](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/energy-savings/) - [ennui](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/ennui/) - [environment](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/environment/) - [Excesses](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/excesses/) - [extra income](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/extra-income/) - [extravagance](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/extravagance/) - [fable](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/fable/) - [faceless bureaucracy](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/faceless-bureaucracy/) - [farmer's markets](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/farmers-markets/) - [fast food; quick dinners](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/fast-food-quick-dinners/) - [FDIC](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/fdic/) - [FeedBurner](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/feedburner/) - [Festival of Frugality](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/festival-of-frugality/) - [Fidelity Funds](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/fidelity-funds/) - [fight back](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/fight-back/) - [Finance Fiesta](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/finance-fiesta/) - [financial goals](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/financial-goals/) - [financial managers](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/financial-managers/) - [financial record-keeping](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/financial-record-keeping/) - [find human](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/find-human/) - [fireworks](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/fireworks/) - [flipping](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/flipping/) - [flood](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/flood/) - [flowers](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/flowers/) - [food](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/food/) - [food safety](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/food-safety/) - [food storage](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/food-storage/) - [foreclosures](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/foreclosures/) - [freelance editing](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/freelance-editing/) - [freelance fees](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/freelance-fees/) - [freelance income](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/freelance-income/) - [freelance journalism](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/freelance-journalism/) - [freelancing](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/freelancing/) - [frugal fun](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/frugal-fun/) - [frugal meals](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/frugal-meals/) - [fuel costs](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/fuel-costs/) - [fuel economy](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/fuel-economy/) - [fuel efficiency](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/fuel-efficiency/) - [fuel prices](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/fuel-prices/) - [fuel-efficient cars](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/fuel-efficient-cars/) - [fuel-efficient vehicles](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/fuel-efficient-vehicles/) - [fun](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/fun/) - [funny](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/funny/) - [funny signs](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/funny-signs/) - [furlough](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/furlough/) - [furloughs](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/furloughs/) - [furniture](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/furniture/) - [gardening; water conservation; xeriscapic landscaping](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/gardening-water-conservation-xeriscapic-landscaping/) - [gas prices](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/gas-prices/) - [general misery](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/general-misery/) - [George Bush](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/george-bush/) - [global warming](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/global-warming/) - [globalization](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/globalization/) - [goodwill](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/goodwill/) - [Google Ads](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/google-ads/) - [Google Adsense](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/google-adsense/) - [Google policy](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/google-policy/) - [gourmet parties](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/gourmet-parties/) - [government regulation](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/government-regulation/) - [gravy](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/gravy/) - [grocery prices](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/grocery-prices/) - [grocery shopping](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/grocery-shopping/) - [guns](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/guns/) - [Hallowe'en](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/halloween/) - [hassles](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/hassles/) - [health](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/health/) - [health care insurance](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/health-care-insurance/) - [health insurance](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/health-insurance/) - [Healthcare](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/healthcare/) - [healthcare system](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/healthcare-system/) - [heating bills](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/heating-bills/) - [hedging against inflation](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/hedging-against-inflation/) - [high-pressure sales tactics](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/high-pressure-sales-tactics/) - [higher education](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/higher-education/) - [historic houses](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/historic-houses/) - [hoarding](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/hoarding/) - [holiday meals](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/holiday-meals/) - [home health care](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/home-health-care/) - [home security](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/home-security/) - [home values](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/home-values/) - [home-made dog food](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/home-made-dog-food/) - [homemade dog food](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/homemade-dog-food/) - [homemade fabric softener](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/homemade-fabric-softener/) - [homemade laundry detergent](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/homemade-laundry-detergent/) - [homeownership](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/homeownership/) - [honorary degree](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/honorary-degree/) - [hoppin' John](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/hoppin-john/) - [hopping John](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/hopping-john/) - [house swaps](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/house-swaps/) - [housekeepers](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/housekeepers/) - [housing values](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/housing-values/) - [HR](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/hr/) - [human resources](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/human-resources/) - [hurricane](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/hurricane/) - [hypermiling](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/hypermiling/) - [immigrant workers](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/immigrant-workers/) - [income streams](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/income-streams/) - [indemnity clauses](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/indemnity-clauses/) - [inflation](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/inflation/) - [insomnia](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/insomnia/) - [insurance](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/insurance/) - [insurance premiums](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/insurance-premiums/) - [insurance regulation](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/insurance-regulation/) - [investment losses](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/investment-losses/) - [investments](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/investments/) - [itchy skin](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/itchy-skin/) - [iWeb](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/iweb/) - [job applications](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/job-applications/) - [job happiness](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/job-happiness/) - [job interview](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/job-interview/) - [job satisfaction](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/job-satisfaction/) - [job search](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/job-search/) - [job-hunting](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/job-hunting/) - [jobs](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/jobs/) - [journalism](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/journalism/) - [karma](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/karma/) - [labot](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/labot/) - [laundry](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/laundry/) - [laundry detergent](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/laundry-detergent/) - [layoff](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/layoff/) - [layoffs](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/layoffs/) - [lenders](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/lenders/) - [leveraging](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/leveraging/) - [life hacks](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/life-hacks/) - [Lifehacks](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/lifehacks/) - [light rail](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/light-rail/) - [lightrail](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/lightrail/) - [list-making](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/list-making/) - [loans](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/loans/) - [long-term care insurance](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/long-term-care-insurance/) - [loose change](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/loose-change/) - [lotteries](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/lotteries/) - [Macintosh](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/macintosh/) - [magazine subscriptions](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/magazine-subscriptions/) - [make dish detergent](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/make-dish-detergent/) - [make glass cleaner](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/make-glass-cleaner/) - [make-up](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/make-up/) - [mass transit](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/mass-transit/) - [materialism](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/materialism/) - [meat bargains](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/meat-bargains/) - [Medicare](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/medicare/) - [megacorporations](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/megacorporations/) - [meltdown](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/meltdown/) - [mentoring](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/mentoring/) - [merchandising](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/merchandising/) - [mesh bags](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/mesh-bags/) - [Mexican food](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/mexican-food/) - [microbudgeting](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/microbudgeting/) - [middle-class flight](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/middle-class-flight/) - [MobileMe](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/mobileme/) - [money hacks](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/money-hacks/) - [money market](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/money-market/) - [money market funds](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/money-market-funds/) - [mortgage crisis](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/mortgage-crisis/) - [mortgage debt](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/mortgage-debt/) - [mortgages](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/mortgages/) - [motorcycles](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/motorcycles/) - [MS Money](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/ms-money/) - [multitasking](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/multitasking/) - [national debt](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/national-debt/) - [National Public Radio](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/national-public-radio/) - [natural disasters](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/natural-disasters/) - [NCUSIF](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/ncusif/) - [neighborhood watch](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/neighborhood-watch/) - [nerditude](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/nerditude/) - [networking](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/networking/) - [New Year's](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/new-years/) - [newspapers](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/newspapers/) - [no-buy days](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/no-buy-days/) - [NPR](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/npr/) - [nuisances](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/nuisances/) - [nursing care](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/nursing-care/) - [Obama](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/obama/) - [office management](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/office-management/) - [office politics](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/office-politics/) - [offshoring](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/offshoring/) - [oil cleansing method](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/oil-cleansing-method/) - [oil prices](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/oil-prices/) - [olive oil](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/olive-oil/) - [olive oil cleanser](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/olive-oil-cleanser/) - [olive oil face cleanser](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/olive-oil-face-cleanser/) - [Olympic-class stupidity](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/olympic-class-stupidity/) - [outsourcing government work to private industry](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/outsourcing-government-work-to-private-industry/) - [overmedicating](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/overmedicating/) - [packaging](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/packaging/) - [packing](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/packing/) - [passive income](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/passive-income/) - [pasta](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/pasta/) - [pay](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/pay/) - [pay cut](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/pay-cut/) - [paycheck records](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/paycheck-records/) - [peer-to-peer lending](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/peer-to-peer-lending/) - [pennies](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/pennies/) - [PeopleSoft](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/peoplesoft/) - [personal finance software](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/personal-finance-software/) - [personnel management](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/personnel-management/) - [pet adoption](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/pet-adoption/) - [pet costs](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/pet-costs/) - [pet food](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/pet-food/) - [pet industry](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/pet-industry/) - [pet ownership](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/pet-ownership/) - [pet ownership costs](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/pet-ownership-costs/) - [pharmaceuticals](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/pharmaceuticals/) - [Phoenix Metro light rail](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/phoenix-metro-light-rail/) - [Phoenix power structure](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/phoenix-power-structure/) - [photos](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/photos/) - [pitbull](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/pitbull/) - [plagiarism](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/plagiarism/) - [planned obsolescence](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/planned-obsolescence/) - [planning](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/planning/) - [planning for layoff](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/planning-for-layoff/) - [planning for layoffs](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/planning-for-layoffs/) - [political power](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/political-power/) - [politics](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/politics/) - [pork tenderloin](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/pork-tenderloin/) - [potatoes](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/potatoes/) - [power bills](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/power-bills/) - [power conservation](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/power-conservation/) - [preparing for layoffs](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/preparing-for-layoffs/) - [pricing](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/pricing/) - [privacy](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/privacy/) - [product dating](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/product-dating/) - [productivity](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/productivity/) - [propane grills](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/propane-grills/) - [property tax](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/property-tax/) - [property values](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/property-values/) - [psychology](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/psychology/) - [public health](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/public-health/) - [public safety](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/public-safety/) - [public transit](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/public-transit/) - [public transportation](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/public-transportation/) - [publishers](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/publishers/) - [publishing](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/publishing/) - [quality of life](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/quality-of-life/) - [Quicken](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/quicken/) - [Qwest](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/qwest/) - [Qwest consumer review](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/qwest-consumer-review/) - [Qwest customer service](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/qwest-customer-service/) - [Qwest review](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/qwest-review/) - [Qworst](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/qworst/) - [raffles](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/raffles/) - [real estate investment](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/real-estate-investment/) - [real estate prices](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/real-estate-prices/) - [real estate speculation](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/real-estate-speculation/) - [real estate speculators](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/real-estate-speculators/) - [real estate trades](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/real-estate-trades/) - [real estate values](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/real-estate-values/) - [real food](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/real-food/) - [real wealth](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/real-wealth/) - [recession](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/recession/) - [recycle](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/recycle/) - [red ink](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/red-ink/) - [refinancing](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/refinancing/) - [refunds](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/refunds/) - [regrets](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/regrets/) - [regulatory agencies](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/regulatory-agencies/) - [renting](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/renting/) - [retail sales](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/retail-sales/) - [retail strategies](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/retail-strategies/) - [retail weakness](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/retail-weakness/) - [retailing](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/retailing/) - [retirement planning](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/retirement-planning/) - [retirement plans](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/retirement-plans/) - [rip-offs](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/rip-offs/) - [Roubini](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/roubini/) - [RSS feeds](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/rss-feeds/) - [rumors](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/rumors/) - [Safeway](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/safeway/) - [salary cuts](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/salary-cuts/) - [sales](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/sales/) - [saving](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/saving/) - [savings](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/savings/) - [savings strategies](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/savings-strategies/) - [scalloped potatoes](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/scalloped-potatoes/) - [scams](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/scams/) - [seafood](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/seafood/) - [seborrheic dermatitis](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/seborrheic-dermatitis/) - [security doors](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/security-doors/) - [self-employment](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/self-employment/) - [sell dates](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/sell-dates/) - [selling](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/selling/) - [Shared Work program](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/shared-work-program/) - [shoes](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/shoes/) - [shop local](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/shop-local/) - [shrimp](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/shrimp/) - [sick buildings](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/sick-buildings/) - [side jobs](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/side-jobs/) - [small pleasures](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/small-pleasures/) - [social networking](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/social-networking/) - [Social Security](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/social-security/) - [society](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/society/) - [soups](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/soups/) - [spam](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/spam/) - [spending](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/spending/) - [sploggers](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/sploggers/) - [splogging](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/splogging/) - [spot remover](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/spot-remover/) - [standard of living](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/standard-of-living/) - [stimulus](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/stimulus/) - [stock market](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/stock-market/) - [stockpiling](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/stockpiling/) - [storing financial records](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/storing-financial-records/) - [strangeness](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/strangeness/) - [strategizing](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/strategizing/) - [Stress](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/stress/) - [stress relief](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/stress-relief/) - [stuff](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/stuff/) - [stupidity](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/stupidity/) - [style](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/style/) - [SUVs](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/suvs/) - [sweet potatoes](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/sweet-potatoes/) - [syndication](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/syndication/) - [tacky](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/tacky/) - [Talbot's](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/talbots/) - [tax documents](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/tax-documents/) - [taxes](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/taxes/) - [taxpayer ripoff](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/taxpayer-ripoff/) - [technology](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/technology/) - [telecommunications](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/telecommunications/) - [televisions](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/televisions/) - [thanksgiving](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/thanksgiving/) - [the American dream](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/the-american-dream/) - [the good life](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/the-good-life/) - [TIAA-CREF](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/tiaa-cref/) - [time management](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/time-management/) - [travel](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/travel/) - [trust](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/trust/) - [unaffordability](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/unaffordability/) - [unemployment](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/unemployment/) - [unemployment insurance](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/unemployment-insurance/) - [Unemployment Insurance debit cards](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/unemployment-insurance-debit-cards/) - [university cutbacks](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/university-cutbacks/) - [university jobs](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/university-jobs/) - [unnecessary hassles](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/unnecessary-hassles/) - [unnecessary products](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/unnecessary-products/) - [urban living](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/urban-living/) - [urban wildlife](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/urban-wildlife/) - [US car manufacturers](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/us-car-manufacturers/) - [usury](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/usury/) - [utilities regulation](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/utilities-regulation/) - [vacuum cleaners](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/vacuum-cleaners/) - [values](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/values/) - [vegetarian dishes](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/vegetarian-dishes/) - [veterinarian costs](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/veterinarian-costs/) - [veterinary business](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/veterinary-business/) - [volunteering](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/volunteering/) - [water](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/water/) - [water conservation](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/water-conservation/) - [wealth](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/wealth/) - [Weber grills](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/weber-grills/) - [wildifire](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/wildifire/) - [Windex](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/windex/) - [winter garden](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/winter-garden/) - [women in business](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/women-in-business/) - [Woody Tasch](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/woody-tasch/) - [word theft](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/word-theft/) - [Wordpress](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/wordpress/) - [Wordpress.com](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/wordpresscom/) - [working](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/working/) - [world](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/world/) - [writing](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/writing/) - [xeriscape](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/xeriscape/) - [xeriscapic landscaping](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/xeriscapic-landscaping/) - [xeriscaping](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/xeriscaping/) - [yard sales](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/yard-sales/) - [year-end financial strategies](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/year-end-financial-strategies/) - [Zillow](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/zillow/) - [earnings limitation](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/earnings-limitation/) - [incorporation](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/incorporation/) - [S-corporations](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/s-corporations/) - [marketing](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/marketing/) - [Leslie's Pool Supplies](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/leslies-pool-supplies/) - [broom-vac reviews](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/broom-vac-reviews/) - [stick vacuum reviews](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/stick-vacuum-reviews/) - [Eureka Boss](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/eureka-boss/) - [Eureka 4-in-1](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/eureka-4-in-1/) - [Shark Cordless VX3 Floor Cleaner](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/shark-cordless-vx3-floor-cleaner/) - [Roomba vacuum cleaner](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/roomba-vacuum-cleaner/) - [dealing with stress](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/dealing-with-stress/) - [deadbolts](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/deadbolts/) - [gun security](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/gun-security/) - [solid-core door](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/solid-core-door/) - [theft deterrence](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/theft-deterrence/) - [consumer psychology](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/consumer-psychology/) - [want vs. need](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/want-vs-need/) - [recreational shopping](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/recreational-shopping/) - [financial independence](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/financial-independence/) - [landscaping](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/landscaping/) - [metalwork](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/metalwork/) - [community colleges](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/community-colleges/) - [adult education](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/adult-education/) - [lifelong learning](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/lifelong-learning/) - [wages](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/wages/) - [U.S. standard of living](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/us-standard-of-living/) - [tax increases](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/tax-increases/) - [Arizona legislature](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/arizona-legislature/) - [Mexico](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/mexico/) - [U.S. healthcare](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/us-healthcare/) - [emergency rooms](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/emergency-rooms/) - [Regulation D](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/regulation-d/) - [online banking](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/online-banking/) - [loan payoff](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/loan-payoff/) - [Cox chief executive officer](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/cox-chief-executive-officer/) - [Cox corporate headquarters](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/cox-corporate-headquarters/) - [New York Times](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/new-york-times/) - [freeloaders](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/freeloaders/) - [deadbeats](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/deadbeats/) - [beauty](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/beauty/) - [natural beauty products](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/natural-beauty-products/) - [dioxin](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/dioxin/) - [environmental contamination](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/environmental-contamination/) - [corporate malfeasance](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/corporate-malfeasance/) - [deregulation](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/deregulation/) - [government corruption](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/government-corruption/) - [Roundup](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/roundup/) - [bioengineering](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/bioengineering/) - [Monsanto](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/monsanto/) - [Roundup-ready crops](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/roundup-ready-crops/) - [BT Cotton](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/bt-cotton/) - [genetically modified organisms](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/genetically-modified-organisms/) - [cultural events](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/cultural-events/) - [digital television](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/digital-television/) - [TV antenna](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/tv-antenna/) - [student loans](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/student-loans/) - [contractors](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/contractors/) - [estimates](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/estimates/) - [American Recovery and Reinvestment Act](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/american-recovery-and-reinvestment-act/) - [ARRA](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/arra/) - [retirees](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/retirees/) - [panzanella](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/panzanella/) - [peasant food](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/peasant-food/) - [Italian food](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/italian-food/) - [General Motors](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/general-motors/) - [shoddy car design](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/shoddy-car-design/) - [automobile dealers](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/automobile-dealers/) - [financial irresponsibility](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/financial-irresponsibility/) - [mental illness](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/mental-illness/) - [scraping](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/scraping/) - [beets](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/beets/) - [rice](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/rice/) - [salad](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/salad/) - [Crate and Barrel](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/crate-and-barrel/) - [Pier One](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/pier-one/) - [credit](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/credit/) - [unsolicited credit offers](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/unsolicited-credit-offers/) - [interest rates](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/interest-rates/) - [locksmiths](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/locksmiths/) - [Anderson lock](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/anderson-lock/) - [Baldwin locks](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/baldwin-locks/) - [magazines](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/magazines/) - [programmable thermostats](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/programmable-thermostats/) - [self-help](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/self-help/) - [quizzes](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/quizzes/) - [games](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/games/) - [social networks](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/social-networks/) - [religion](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/religion/) - [Latter-Day Saints](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/latter-day-saints/) - [speed traps](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/speed-traps/) - [Tempe Arizona](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/tempe-arizona/) - [design](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/design/) - [architecture](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/architecture/) - [potato pie](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/potato-pie/) - [medical care](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/medical-care/) - [entrepreneurship](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/entrepreneurship/) - [internet businesses](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/internet-businesses/) - [radio personality](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/radio-personality/) - [housing inventory](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/housing-inventory/) - [Arizona budget](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/arizona-budget/) - [identity theft](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/identity-theft/) - [credit reports](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/credit-reports/) - [credit bureaus](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/credit-bureaus/) - [Arizona](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/arizona/) - [government shut-down](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/government-shut-down/) - [filing](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/filing/) - [politics; Arizona state budget](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/politics-arizona-state-budget/) - [master's degree](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/masters-degree/) - [home remedies](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/home-remedies/) - [cracked heels](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/cracked-heels/) - [heel fissure](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/heel-fissure/) - [dry skin](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/dry-skin/) - [Edmund Andrews](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/edmund-andrews/) - [bankruptcy](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/bankruptcy/) - [state budget](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/state-budget/) - [online retirement planner](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/online-retirement-planner/) - [curry](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/curry/) - [generation differences](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/generation-differences/) - [AARP](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/aarp/) - [PINs](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/pins/) - [signature transaction](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/signature-transaction/) - [bones](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/bones/) - [free things to do](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/free-things-to-do/) - [money](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/money/) - [stray animals](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/stray-animals/) - [cats](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/cats/) - [textbooks](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/textbooks/) - [child training](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/child-training/) - [parenthood](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/parenthood/) - [editors](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/editors/) - [deferred compensation](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/deferred-compensation/) - [bureaucratic shafting](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/bureaucratic-shafting/) - [government workers](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/government-workers/) - [employee mistreatment](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/employee-mistreatment/) - [right-to-work](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/right-to-work/) - [utility bills](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/utility-bills/) - [Prescott](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/prescott/) - [relocating](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/relocating/) - [weather](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/weather/) - [climate change](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/climate-change/) - [organic vegetables](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/organic-vegetables/) - [economic recover](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/economic-recover/) - [Stellar Capital Management](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/stellar-capital-management/) - [swimming pool maintenance](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/swimming-pool-maintenance/) - [pool hacks](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/pool-hacks/) - [religion and politics](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/religion-and-politics/) - [Best of Funny about Money](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/best-of-funny-about-money/) - [Ivory detergent](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/ivory-detergent/) - [suburbs](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/suburbs/) - [state government](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/state-government/) - [cash for clunkers](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/cash-for-clunkers/) - [taxpayer ripoffs](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/taxpayer-ripoffs/) - [automobile industry](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/automobile-industry/) - [do it yourself air conditioning](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/do-it-yourself-air-conditioning/) - [health care costs](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/health-care-costs/) - [pay cuts](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/pay-cuts/) - [Medigap](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/medigap/) - [arid climate](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/arid-climate/) - [relocation](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/relocation/) - [Phoenix](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/phoenix/) - [small towns](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/small-towns/) - [Social Security earnings limit](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/social-security-earnings-limit/) - [laid off](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/laid-off/) - [Bosch dishwasher recall](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/bosch-dishwasher-recall/) - [real estate renovation](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/real-estate-renovation/) - [quinoa](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/quinoa/) - [sausage](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/sausage/) - [hot cereal](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/hot-cereal/) - [politics and personal finance](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/politics-and-personal-finance/) - [credit card issuers](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/credit-card-issuers/) - [employee benefits](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/employee-benefits/) - [state of Arizona](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/state-of-arizona/) - [EPO](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/epo/) - [frugality definition](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/frugality-definition/) - [car maintenance](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/car-maintenance/) - [Almost Frugal blog](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/almost-frugal-blog/) - [pool service](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/pool-service/) - [Leslie's](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/leslies/) - [false economy](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/false-economy/) - [freelance contracts](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/freelance-contracts/) - [publishing contracts](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/publishing-contracts/) - [ASJA](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/asja/) - [adjunct teaching](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/adjunct-teaching/) - [adjunct college faculty](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/adjunct-college-faculty/) - [freelance writing](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/freelance-writing/) - [emergency planning](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/emergency-planning/) - [wills](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/wills/) - [living wills](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/living-wills/) - [higher education pay rates](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/higher-education-pay-rates/) - [employment](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/employment/) - [adjunct faculty](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/adjunct-faculty/) - [health rationing](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/health-rationing/) - [health insurance companies](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/health-insurance-companies/) - [HMOs](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/hmos/) - [Republican party](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/republican-party/) - [clutter](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/clutter/) - [residential architecture](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/residential-architecture/) - [decorating](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/decorating/) - [dollar value](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/dollar-value/) - [historic monetary values](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/historic-monetary-values/) - [spiritualism](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/spiritualism/) - [investment](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/investment/) - [money calculator](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/money-calculator/) - [lemonade](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/lemonade/) - [homemade soft drinks](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/homemade-soft-drinks/) - [meyer lemonade](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/meyer-lemonade/) - [independent mechanics](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/independent-mechanics/) - [ants](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/ants/) - [birds](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/birds/) - [ant-eating birds](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/ant-eating-birds/) - [soda ash](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/soda-ash/) - [pool pH balance](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/pool-ph-balance/) - [lax regulation](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/lax-regulation/) - [wildfires](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/wildfires/) - [floods](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/floods/) - [Adsense review](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/adsense-review/) - [monetizing blogs](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/monetizing-blogs/) - [blog monetization](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/blog-monetization/) - [blog ad placement](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/blog-ad-placement/) - [estate sales](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/estate-sales/) - [frugal buys](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/frugal-buys/) - [knives](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/knives/) - [storms](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/storms/) - [carving set](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/carving-set/) - [side income](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/side-income/) - [moonlighting](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/moonlighting/) - [windfalls](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/windfalls/) - [unexpected income](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/unexpected-income/) - [free fun](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/free-fun/) - [free entertainment](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/free-entertainment/) - [low-cost entertainment](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/low-cost-entertainment/) - [Leslie's swimming pool](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/leslies-swimming-pool/) - [pool chemicals](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/pool-chemicals/) - [celluloid](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/celluloid/) - [vintage knives](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/vintage-knives/) - [collector's knives](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/collectors-knives/) - [layoff emotional effect](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/layoff-emotional-effect/) - [layoff employer effect](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/layoff-employer-effect/) - [workplace alienation](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/workplace-alienation/) - [psychology of unemployment](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/psychology-of-unemployment/) - [cosmetics](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/cosmetics/) - [DIY cosmetics](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/diy-cosmetics/) - [frugal cosmetics](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/frugal-cosmetics/) - [lemons](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/lemons/) - [lemon juice](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/lemon-juice/) - [opticians](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/opticians/) - [vision care](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/vision-care/) - [glasses](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/glasses/) - [academic careers](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/academic-careers/) - [women and money](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/women-and-money/) - [financial planning](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/financial-planning/) - [financial literacy](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/financial-literacy/) - [Excel](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/excel/) - [infill](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/infill/) - [financial help](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/financial-help/) - [adult children](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/adult-children/) - [adult relatives](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/adult-relatives/) - [benadryl](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/benadryl/) - [diphenhydramine](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/diphenhydramine/) - [drug side effects](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/drug-side-effects/) - [over-the-counter drug side effects](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/over-the-counter-drug-side-effects/) - [antihistamine side effects](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/antihistamine-side-effects/) - [Bernanke](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/bernanke/) - [noise pollution](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/noise-pollution/) - [helicopters](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/helicopters/) - [news helicopters](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/news-helicopters/) - [county tax](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/county-tax/) - [state tax](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/state-tax/) - [corporate intimidation](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/corporate-intimidation/) - [corporate harassment](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/corporate-harassment/) - [freedom of speech](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/freedom-of-speech/) - [free speech rights](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/free-speech-rights/) - [First Amendement rights](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/first-amendement-rights/) - [trademarks](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/trademarks/) - [trademark infringement](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/trademark-infringement/) - [Consumerist](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/consumerist/) - [Lazy Man and Money](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/lazy-man-and-money/) - [fig and bacon recipe](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/fig-and-bacon-recipe/) - [figs](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/figs/) - [bacon](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/bacon/) - [honey](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/honey/) - [goat cheese](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/goat-cheese/) - [used cars](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/used-cars/) - [Toyota Tacoma](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/toyota-tacoma/) - [Honda Civic](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/honda-civic/) - [Discount Tire Co.](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/discount-tire-co/) - [Foundation for Blind Children](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/foundation-for-blind-children/) - [service learning](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/service-learning/) - [Google books](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/google-books/) - [copyright infringement](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/copyright-infringement/) - [Google settlement](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/google-settlement/) - [merchandisers](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/merchandisers/) - [truth](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/truth/) - [health care reform](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/health-care-reform/) - [socialism](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/socialism/) - [golden retrievers](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/golden-retrievers/) - [animal abuse](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/animal-abuse/) - [credit-card debt](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/credit-card-debt/) - [credit-card calculator](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/credit-card-calculator/) - [debt calculator](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/debt-calculator/) - [Federal Reserve](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/federal-reserve/) - [consumer action](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/consumer-action/) - [spam prevention](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/spam-prevention/) - [contaminated beef](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/contaminated-beef/) - [sanitation](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/sanitation/) - [kitchen hygiene](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/kitchen-hygiene/) - [bids](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/bids/) - [aborists](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/aborists/) - [phone solicitation](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/phone-solicitation/) - [telephone solicitors](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/telephone-solicitors/) - [telemarketing](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/telemarketing/) - [influenza](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/influenza/) - [swine flu](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/swine-flu/) - [flu](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/flu/) - [flu symptoms](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/flu-symptoms/) - [flu contagion](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/flu-contagion/) - [abuse of employees](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/abuse-of-employees/) - [incompetent HR staff](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/incompetent-hr-staff/) - [RASL](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/rasl/) - [Arizona state employee benefits](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/arizona-state-employee-benefits/) - [freshman composition](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/freshman-composition/) - [grammar](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/grammar/) - [bad teaching](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/bad-teaching/) - [poor student preparation](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/poor-student-preparation/) - [unprepared students](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/unprepared-students/) - [budgeting for layoff](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/budgeting-for-layoff/) - [forced retirement](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/forced-retirement/) - [market recovery](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/market-recovery/) - [residential real estate](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/residential-real-estate/) - [housing crash](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/housing-crash/) - [predictions](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/predictions/) - [economic indicators](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/economic-indicators/) - [nonprofits](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/nonprofits/) - [churches](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/churches/) - [Paz de Cristo](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/paz-de-cristo/) - [price comparisons](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/price-comparisons/) - [arborists](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/arborists/) - [landscape maintenance](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/landscape-maintenance/) - [cherry soup](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/cherry-soup/) - [exploitation of teachers](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/exploitation-of-teachers/) - [Phoenix real estate prices](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/phoenix-real-estate-prices/) - [envelope system](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/envelope-system/) - [Arab cooking](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/arab-cooking/) - [mansef](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/mansef/) - [lamb](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/lamb/) - [cellphones](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/cellphones/) - [courtesy](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/courtesy/) - [manners](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/manners/) - [goal-setting](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/goal-setting/) - [book publishing](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/book-publishing/) - [big box stores](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/big-box-stores/) - [underpricing](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/underpricing/) - [unfair competition](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/unfair-competition/) - [ghosts](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/ghosts/) - [dreams](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/dreams/) - [visitations](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/visitations/) - [German shepherd](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/german-shepherd/) - [swimming pool](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/swimming-pool/) - [fish pond](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/fish-pond/) - [job dissatisfaction](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/job-dissatisfaction/) - [AnnualCreditReport.com](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/annualcreditreport-com/) - [frugal tips](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/frugal-tips/) - [artist consignment stores](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/artist-consignment-stores/) - [Christmas trees](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/christmas-trees/) - [gift wrap](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/gift-wrap/) - [wage slavery](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/wage-slavery/) - [community college teaching](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/community-college-teaching/) - [life in the big city](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/life-in-the-big-city/) - [savings rates](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/savings-rates/) - [assets](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/assets/) - [net worth](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/net-worth/) - [real estate equity](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/real-estate-equity/) - [Glendale Community College](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/glendale-community-college/) - [Phoenix real estate bust](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/phoenix-real-estate-bust/) - [empty development](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/empty-development/) - [bargains](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/bargains/) - [true simplicity](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/true-simplicity/) - [hunger](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/hunger/) - [Reaganism](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/reaganism/) - [Bush economy](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/bush-economy/) - [housecleaning](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/housecleaning/) - [hate working](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/hate-working/) - [vacation time](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/vacation-time/) - [paperwork](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/paperwork/) - [corporate intrusiveness](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/corporate-intrusiveness/) - [Avesis](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/avesis/) - [Northwestern Mutual](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/northwestern-mutual/) - [Hartford Insurance](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/hartford-insurance/) - [Walmart](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/walmart/) - [Fry's supermarkets](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/frys-supermarkets/) - [commercial development and residential values](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/commercial-development-and-residential-values/) - [shopping mall crime](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/shopping-mall-crime/) - [Target](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/target/) - [pioneers](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/pioneers/) - [migrants](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/migrants/) - [Texas](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/texas/) - [alternative energy](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/alternative-energy/) - [solar energy](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/solar-energy/) - [Solar City](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/solar-city/) - [Sun Run](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/sun-run/) - [power costs](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/power-costs/) - [energy rebates](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/energy-rebates/) - [commercialism](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/commercialism/) - [credit card rebates](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/credit-card-rebates/) - [aspirations](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/aspirations/) - [International sterling](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/international-sterling/) - [George Jensen sterling](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/george-jensen-sterling/) - [Christofle sterling](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/christofle-sterling/) - [bifocals](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/bifocals/) - [endless frustration](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/endless-frustration/) - [steak mirepois](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/steak-mirepois/) - [Studies in Medieval and Renaissance History](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/studies-in-medieval-and-renaissance-history/) - [PC](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/pc/) - [Microsoft](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/microsoft/) - [MS Office](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/ms-office/) - [emergency supplies](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/emergency-supplies/) - [power outages](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/power-outages/) - [willow acacia](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/willow-acacia/) - [acacia salicina](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/acacia-salicina/) - [Mexican palms](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/mexican-palms/) - [palm trees](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/palm-trees/) - [Swan Hill olive](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/swan-hill-olive/) - [emerald paloverde](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/emerald-paloverde/) - [hybrid paloverde](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/hybrid-paloverde/) - [MacBook](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/macbook/) - [educator's discounts](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/educators-discounts/) - [Intuit](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/intuit/) - [MS Excel](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/ms-excel/) - [rich people; social class; class differences; estate sales](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/rich-people-social-class-class-differences-estate-sales/) - [public health insurance](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/public-health-insurance/) - [H1N1 flu shots](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/h1n1-flu-shots/) - [potluck](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/potluck/) - [crockpot potatoes](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/crockpot-potatoes/) - [roast beef](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/roast-beef/) - [standing rib roast](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/standing-rib-roast/) - [cashew-yam casserole](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/cashew-yam-casserole/) - [easy Christmas dinner](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/easy-christmas-dinner/) - [Christmas ginger punch](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/christmas-ginger-punch/) - [surviving unemployment](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/surviving-unemployment/) - [compact discs](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/compact-discs/) - [potluck dish](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/potluck-dish/) - [potato casserole](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/potato-casserole/) - [Arizona state deficit](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/arizona-state-deficit/) - [Great Desert University](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/great-desert-university/) - [Swimming Pool Repair and Service](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/swimming-pool-repair-and-service/) - [DIY cost-saving](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/diy-cost-saving/) - [administrative incompetence](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/administrative-incompetence/) - [ugly architecture](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/ugly-architecture/) - [ugly campus](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/ugly-campus/) - [moron legislators](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/moron-legislators/) - [bank errors](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/bank-errors/) - [universities](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/universities/) - [vocational training](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/vocational-training/) - [real estate crash](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/real-estate-crash/) - [mortgage](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/mortgage/) - [upside-down](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/upside-down/) - [chimney sweep](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/chimney-sweep/) - [Mark C. Keever](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/mark-c-keever/) - [small business](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/small-business/) - [lists](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/lists/) - [listing](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/listing/) - [salt](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/salt/) - [Fidelity](https://funny-about-money.com/tag/fidelity/)