Coffee heat rising

Off the Wall Since the Fourth of July

LOL! Actually, the issue is ON the wall: the great mounds of cat’s-claw vines that have piled up all over my backyard wall. The one that runs along the alley. The alley where the Brats and the Nitwits are blasting off their bang-bangs…and will be, for hours to come.

A few years ago, the State of Arizona and the City of Phoenix decided to legalize fireworks. It bein’ an ethnic thing, after all. And a patriotic thing. Is that “ethno-patriotic”? 😀

Fireworks manufacturers have descended on the city and now sell bangers and crashers from every corner parking lot in the city. Result: BANG BAM BAM BANG POW BAM BAM POW KEEEEEEBLAST BANG POP POP POP BANG BAMMMM BANG BLAST POP BANG WHACK BLAST…half the night. It’s 9:00 now. The antics have been going on a good two hours. With no end in sight.

The back wall along my lot line, running up the alley, is festooned with thick, heavy cat’s claw vines. They’ve formed a kind of carpet over the thing. Piled up on year after year of past, now dried-out growth…

A highly flammable carpet.

Stupidly, I didn’t think about the likelihood that ninnies would be out in that alley setting off their toys. And other ninnies would be driving by and riding their bikes by to throw their bang-bangs into the alley. So…that creates quite a fire risk.

If my brain had been in gear this afternoon, I would’ve dragged the hose out there and saturated those damn vines. But — lacking a noticeable IQ these days — naturally I didn’t even think of it.




Age seems to bring stupidity in the door with it.

So now I’ll have to wait till the middle of the night before I dast to go to sleep. Wait until the morons have exhausted all their toys. Wait until they’ve gone off to drink or smoke themselves into a stupor.

Hmmmmmm….. I wonder….

If some A$$-hole sets fire to the vines out there — which will soon jump to the roof and consume the house — could I sue our honored state, county, and city fathers for legalizing a clear and present fire hazard?