Funny about Money

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. ―Edmund Burke

On the Road to Heaven’s Gate

Cassie the Corgi is on her way out of this world, I’m afraid.

Day before yesterday she started having serious trouble walking. The air of confusion, which has lurked for awhile, became more distinct, as though familiar places looked strange and she had no idea where she was.

Now today she can’t walk or stand at all.

Plus she’s having the kind of palsies she developed of late, while she’s asleep: I’d call them convulsions or maybe spasms. Now they’re happening during the daytime hours, and they seem to either scare her or hurt her. When I take her outside and set her down, she looks utterly befuddled…peers around with an expression that says, clear as day, “What is this place and what am I supposed to be doing here?”

Interestingly, it occurred to me that she acts sort of like a person who’s had a stroke might act, under some circumstances. Look up “can a dog a have a stroke” and discover ischemic strokes are incident on Cushing’s disease…which of course is exactly what ails her.

She’s now completely incontinent…leaked all over the pee pad I put down over her mat in the bathroom, her favorite nesting place. While reclining by the dinner table, she managed to deposit a couple of fine turds under the dining room buffet. That was quite a trick.

As soon as Cassie passes on to her furry fathers, I will have to disinfect all the flooring in the house. She’s peed and shat all over every room in the house, and no amount of spot-cleaning changes the fact that the entire dwelling stinks to high heaven. To fix that, I’ll need to mop all the floors with Clorox and then open every window and door to air it out for several hours.

Ruby should not be exposed to the fumes. So I’ll need to schlep her down to my son’s house and leave her there for five or six hours while the place airs out. It’s a little chilly to leave her in the yard all day, and if it keeps raining she can’t be left out there anyway.


Cassie was born in 2006, if you believe what the Humane Society said. That would make her around 12 or 13 years old, depending on what month she arrived. So that puts her right at the median life span for corgis, which is 12.6 years. So she’s had a pretty good life.

Ruby is already showing signs of taking over as Queen of the Universe. Ruby came along in 2014. That would make her about 5 years old, the prime of her doggy life. So if she lives to be 12, she’ll be around for another 7 years…until I’m 80 or 81 years old.

Thinking about whether to get another dog…and I think probably not. In the first place, Ruby will expand to fill all available space. And in the second, I’m already too old to be on my hands and knees five or six times a day cleaning up after a sick old dog at the end of its life — at 80, I will be way too old for that. So I guess, no: no more dogs.

Which is sad. It’s hard to conceive of living without the company of a dog. But what the hell: maybe I won’t live that long. 😉


Author: funny

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  1. If and when Cassie does depart…Any plans for her remains? I have a long time tenant who is a “cat lady”. She has had every cat that she has ever owned remains cremated and placed in an urn with a brass name plate. They reside on the mantle in the living room….

    • Well, I’d figured if she died in the house, I’d dig a little doggy grave in the backyard and weight it down with a rock cairn so the coyotes (and the pup) can’t dig it up. That’s strictly against the law, but I can’t imagine how anyone could catch you.

      However, I just made an appointment with the vet to put her to sleep this afternoon. Burying a dog that has been euthanized — and so is full of toxic chemicals — is totally not a good idea. So I’ll just have to let the have her cremated.

      I’m not in to keeping ashes in urns. That strikes me as weird: the deceased is not there; she survives only in your memory. I don’t need an expensive pot full of ashes to remind me of my late loved ones.

      Speaking of expensive: all of these places, vets or fancy euthanizing services, add an extra hundred bucks for the urn. The vet charges $150 to put your pet down; the come-to-your-house outfits charge $350 (and up)…that’s exclusive of the earn.

      Was talking with my favorite clerk at AJs. She remarked that when she had her dog put down a few years ago, they charged $50. So…what we have here is another profit point. {sigh}

      Poor old dog can’t stand up long enough to pee or poop. She’s not any better this morning. And she’s so bloated it’s surprising the skin on her belly hasn’t split. It’s definitely time to go.

  2. My thoughts and prayers are with you Funny. I’m sorry you’re going through this, but you are doing the right thing. Be there with her, hold her and talk to her until the end so she knows she is loved.

  3. Sorry to read this, Funny. We all have our time when we need to leave this world. and it seems that her time has come. She’ll know that you were with her to the very end.

    • Poor old gal is really in bad shape this morning. The convulsions in her hindquarters are apparently hurting her now: she’s taken to yelping when they happen. I’m afraid the kindest thing to do is to usher her on her way to the other world.

  4. Has to be tough…BUT she lived a good life…and was a good companion that you won’t soon forget. Wonder how the other “pup” will act when she’s no longer about?

    • That worries me. Ruby has been with her since Ruby-puppyhood. This morning Cassie peed on the mat I’d set her on to rest in the bedroom, and, not wanting to lay in it, got up and was just standing there, befuddled and unable to move. Ruby came out and barked me into the bedroom, by way of rescuing her pal.

      I’m afraid that not having Cassie here is going to be awful. All the way around.

  5. I’m sorry that you are losing Cassie, but I’m glad to know that she won’t suffer much longer. As everyone else has already told you, she lived a good life and that was all your doing.
    I’m also with you when it comes to pet urns. I know some people take comfort in having a pet’s ashes, but I’m not one of them. I’ve got photos and memories, I don’t need anything else.

  6. Funny, you may be surprised at Ruby’s reaction. I think she knows Cassie is sick. Give Ruby lots of love and attention when you come home; you might even cry with her. Dogs are more intuitive than we give them credit.

  7. Hugs to you Funny. Thanks for sharing stories of your sweet pup with us.