So I was finally reduced to cleaning out the chest freezer that resides in a back room. It was due for a clean-up when the whole stupid boob thing arose. During the year of surgeries that ensued, that chore was relegated to such a back bar that it was forgotten. And since then I haven’t much given a damn about anything unrelated to staying alive from day to day without losing what remains of my mind.
But now that I’m well again — for the moment — it seems good to catch up with the 87 gerjillion jobs, chores, obligations, and minor survival tasks that have gone by the wayside. One of those was shoveling out the freezer.
Quite a job: but it’s now done, and to finish up all we’re doing right now is waiting for the thing to cool back down into the sub-zero range so we can haul the food out of the refrigerator’s freezer, where we jammed it, and put it away neatly.
How so, serendipitous? Well, because this freezer, itself a Costco product, accrues Costco purchases as a closet breeds coat-hangers in the dark. Videlicet:
Whenever I buy a lifetime supply of meat — say, steaks or pork — I cut up the contents into meal-size portions and freeze them in individual packets, which go into small ziplock bags to be stored inside larger ziplock bags. Very handy.
Problem is, after the late, great gut surgery, a physician’s assistant informed me that I would never again be able to eat grilled meat, fried meat, roast meat, crisply cooked vegetables, raw vegetables, or salads. Whatever I would be able to tolerate would have to be cooked into mush, puréed, or dumped out of a can. Since I had subsisted on grilled meat, grilled veggies, and salad for quite some time, as you can imagine this bit of news rather killed my appetite.
So a great deal of food that was stashed in the freezer has just sat there for the past year or so.
Recently, though, it has come to my attention that
a) salad greens make the belly feel better, not worse;
b) grilled steak, grilled chicken, grilled fish, and grilled veggies have no ill effect;
c) I no longer give a damn one way or the other, anyway; and
d) To avoid going broke at the Costco and the grocery store, I might as well eat whatever is in the house.
Hence, the freezer-cleaning frenzy.
When I shoveled the thing out, this is what I found:
17 pieces of steak
4 hamburger patties
2.5 pounds of ground bison meat
2 gigantic bag of sea scallops
3 open packages of fish, each containing several servings
1 serving of leftover barbecued spareribs
4 packages of doves
1 pair of lamb ribs from a deconstructed rack of lamb
4 pieces of vacuum-packed yellowtail tuna
All told, these came to 43 servings of fancy protein.
This doesn’t count any of the other stuff in there: the collected bags of expensive flours donated by a choir friend; the sacks of frozen veggies; the this, that, and the other.
Since I don’t eat meat or fish every day, 43 servings amounts to at least two months’ worth of dinners. Probably more.
So…what is my freezer trying to say to me?
Quit buying food at Costco!
Moron! Do not ever spend $396 on groceries in a single month, ever again!
Seems like a fairly clear message…
LOL! Clearly, I won’t have to buy any meat except the usual cheapo dog schlock for the foreseeable future (at my age, “foreseeable” does not stretch not very far into the fog).
Have you cleaned out your freezer lately? Does it have a message for you?