Funny about Money

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. ―Edmund Burke

Yipes! Allergic to life???

So I’m down at the church putting in a little volunteer time and altogether enjoying my hot little self.

About three hours into this excursion, I realize I’m damn hungry (sorry, God, but You’re responsible for this hunger gig, so kindly hold the lightning bolt), so I raid some leftover cupcakes that have been remaindered to the work table. Pretty tasty: some sort of spice cake nummy commercially processed and processed stuffoid.

An hour or so later — mebbe less — get home and start gathering chow to heat on the Que:

  • 1 small piece beefsteak
  • 1 handful of pre-roasted potatoes, needing a reheat
  • 1 fistful of fresh asparagi [i hate the Mac, which hits, somehow, backspace-skip-back-over-half-a-dozen-words-for-no-rational-reason]

Place these edibles on the grill; pour a glass of wine.

DAYum, but that wine…well…it HURTS. The inside of the lips hurt hurt fuckin’ HURT.

WTF? Cold sore? Reeeellly??? Bottom lip as well as top lip? Seriously?????

Stumble to bathroom while chow is grilling, inspect the maw.

Yeah, lots of redness around the inside of the lips. External part of lips starting to swell. No sign of a localized cold sore. Hm… DIY diagnosis: allergic reaction to some goddamnfool thing.

Like…really, really, REALLLYYYYY i cannot afford another trip to the Emergency Room, dear God and dear Medicare. What to do?

Drop an allergy pill, of course.

What can go wrong, eh?

Not dead by the time the magnificent meal comes off the grill.

Still hurts to eat dinner. But…no sign of anaphylactic shock.


Munch a handful of chocolate chips for “dessert.”

Decide I have not yet died. Pour one final glass of wine.

Hurts slightly less to consume this dose of lip-singeing potable.

Ersatz dessert inhaled. Dogs placated. Wine snurfled up. And…the swelling (which was proceeding apace by the time I dropped a Claritin) is much reduced. A sip of wine does not feel like it was preheated in a blast furnace.

Thank you, Your Godship.

But nevertheless (apologies to Your Godship): SOMETHING there is that allergic reaction kicks up!


Only the faintest clues:

  • cinnamon?
  • industrial chemical added to processed bakery goods? fake white frosting??? ersatz vanilla flavoring?
  • whatever else was in the tasty treat, which, being highly processed, was pretty damned anonymized?


Thinking maybe I need to keep a few allergy pills in the car, there to have recourse should this happen again

As I click “Publish” for this idle post, the effect — whatever its cause — is almost gone.

Message? Do not, my loves, DO NOT eat fake food, no matter how hungry you think you are. The starving children in Bangladesh are a lot hungrier.

Author: funny

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