Virtual headache
Apple’s MacHeadache hit the New York Times this morning: the roll-out of the new iPhone hit a pothole or two, one of which was the complicated switchover to new servers. It’s this very pothole that Funny has fallen into-I have no idea whether today’s post will publish or not. Desperately confused, iWeb claims nothing is posted. But the published site itself displays everything I’ve written since July 9. If you don’t get the Times’s edition printed on ground-up trees, check out these entertaining pieces online.
- Joe Nocera’s column, “Talking Business“
- John Markoff’s report on the roll-out
Paper headache
Speaking of headaches, avert your eyes from your investment fund statements unless you enjoy migraines. When last seen, mine reported a $23,000 loss-that was before the market crashed through the 11,000 floor yesterday. Any ideas I might have had about retiring before the age of 70 just went <<POOF>>
Thank heaven we have a 30-year fixed mortgage on the Investment House, and my own mortgage is paid off. That notwithstanding, with the market plummeting like a meteor and the probability that we’ll have to hold the house for a good ten years, I can’t afford to keep rolling money out of my IRA into real estate. I’ll need to come up with a new way to generate $12,000 a year to cover my part of the mortgage payments.
Matter of fact, I happen to have one in the wings. Watch this space for more on that
And real-life headache
Meanwhile, in the stress department (one of this blog’s co-topics), I woke with a real, biological headache-no metaphor here-from once again kicking the Killer Caffeine. Dang!
The month-long spate of indigestion has three likely sources (that is, if you quietly overlook cancer, which we will do): caffeine, booze, or salmonella.
Any of these is possible. The epizootic started the day after a friend and I visited a popular New Mexican-style restaurant, where we did have a nice jalapeño-laced salsa. Some startlingly unpleasant manifestations occupied the next week or ten days. Our defanged federal regulators are now speculating that the source of the salmonella plague we’re now witnessing may have been jalapeños or cilantro. However, my friend didn’t get sick, so I kinda doubt this is the cause of my present ailment.
Noooo. Ever so much likely is one (or both?) of my favorite potables.
I live to drink coffee. No mere coffee, mind you, but the highest of the high-test. I use fresh-ground espresso beans-because espresso demands a better variety of coffee-to fill a ten-cup French press every morning. And do I drink all that, all by my little buzzing self? You bet! Whatever is left over in the morning gets consumed as iced coffee later in the day.
Well, in a body that dates from the Cretaceous period, the effect is cumulative. As you age (memorize this, you young pups), your metabolism slows, and so it takes a lot longer than it used to for drugs, prescription and non-, to clear out of your system. During my misspent youth, coffee had little noticeable effect on me. These days, though, guzzling enough of it before noon will keep me awake at night; especially after a couple months of drinking it daily.
Then there’s my other favorite swiggle: the daily boozie-poo. Because the lime tree is dropping beautiful, juicy, delicious ripe key limes, I (naturally!) had to have some Coronas. Matter of fact, I’ve been forced to take advantage of Costco’s incredible price on 24-bottle cases of Coronas. Neither limes nor beers have gone to waste: typically I drink two bottles around dinnertime.
Lately, though, I’ve also had a bourbon & water…or two…later in the afternoon. On a 112-degree day few things call out to you more appealingly than an ice-cold bourbon and water on the rocks. The other day I realized I’d swiggled two beers with cheese & crackers after coming home from work and then poured myself two Maker’s Marks a few hours later, with a late dinner. Uh oh!
So, it’s off the sauce and off the coffee.
I have no problem kicking the beer and bourbon-iced tea, V-8 juice, or fruit juice all substitute handsomely.
Kicking caffeine, though, is a whole ‘nother matter. Caffeine deficiency anemia causes a screaming real-life headache that can last a full week. I’ve learned, though, that a couple cups of caffeinated tea will take the edge off. It doesn’t contain enough of the drug to keep you awake at night, but it does stop your head from hurting. After a week, you can eliminate the tea, and voilà: caffeine-free existence.
The laundry remains to be laundered, the ironing to be ironed, the house to be cleaned, the plants to be watered, the pool gadget to be repaired, the garbage to be hauled, the dog to be tended to, a novel to be proofread, a new business to be launched… And so, my friends, to work.