By golly, I thought I was gonna knock off…and spend the rest of the afternoon loafing with my feet up on a hassock.
No.
Of course not.
No. Not. A. Chance.
Now I’ve got door handles and door locks busted every which way from Sunday!
No kidding… Have you noticed that? How everything craps out at once, in multiples.
This house has deadbolts on every exterior door (each exterior door = 2 doors, because they all have burglar screens, mounted over the regular doors. That’s because you’d be CRAZY to live in or anywhere near lovely Sunnyslope without break-in resistant screens and heavy-duty deadbolts.
So, long as I have to pay the locksmith to come over and do battle with the hardware, I count up the number of locks that need repair. Seven.
Yep. That’s right. Seven worn-out deadbolts.
Helle’s Belles! I’ll be paying this bill for the rest of my life.
Call up my regular locksmith. And speaking of Helle’s Belles, that business seems to have changed hands! The guy who answers the phone has a HEAVY Indian or Pakistani accent.
So after some dorking around, we manage to make each other understood…I hope.
Let’s also hope he doesn’t figure he can rip off the Little Woman with some exorbitant overcharge.
The problem with getting repair dudes over here is that our genius City Fathers, lo! these many years ago, gave two parallel streets in the ‘Hood almost identical names.
Yes.
I live on Erewhon STREET. The next street north of me is Erewhon ROAD.
Result? Everybody who comes here for the first time gets confused and lost. They all go up Erowhon Road if they’re looking for Street, or up Erewhon Street if they’re looking for Road.
No sign of the locksmith our hero said would be right along. Presumably he’s charged off down the wrong road.
So…tomorrow I get to search for a new locksmith. Won’t that be fun?
******
NOPE!
Make that today I get to pay a new locksmith.
Our hero, who bears the name Mohammed, showed up pretty promptly. English ain’t his strong point, so I’m kinda scared I may not have explained the issue(s) to him clearly enough. Basically what’s happening is that these deadbolts do tend to crap out after several years of daily use. Some doors get a WHOLE lot more “daily use” than others…specifically the front door and front security screen; the office door with its solid-core door and heavy-duty deadbolt; the back door and security screen; to which one can add constant in-and-out traffic by a small and bossy dog.
It’s late in the afternoon and the human is massively not in the mood to listen to serenades from electric tools and from an agitated little (ARF ARF ARF ARF!!!) dawg.
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hmmmm…. Speaking of dawgs…boyoyboy does that little pooch need a bath!