It wasn’t what he did. It was what his buddy did.
And that he approved of what his buddy did.
Paul was the first Great Love of My Life. Handsome, smart, affable, sexy, upward-bound. Who could ask for anything more, eh?
Well…as extreme as it seems, you could ask for a little common decency…
***
Paul was madly in love with me, there in Tucson in our last years of undergraduate school. And I was madly in love with him.
My parents loathed him.
But it was our lives and our love affair, so I pretty much disregarded whatever they thought or said about him. He was upwardly bound, finishing an undergraduate degree, headed toward an MBA, figured to have a career as a business executive or a government functionary.
My mother urged me to let him go. I ignored her: my feelings for Paul were my business and none of hers.
So I thought.
Paul’s best friend was a married man whose wife was advanced in pregnancy. Very advanced: about eight months along. One night this guy was out on the town with his pals…when he picked up a chippy at a bar. Took her to a motel room and had sex with her.
Incredibly (to my way of thinking…), Paul thought that was just dandy.
No kidding. He felt the guy was fully justified in jumping into bed with this whore, because, said Paul, “his wife isn’t giving him any.”
Got it? She’s on the verge of giving birth, bloated up like a watermelon, sick most of the time…but it’s her bounden duty to put out for her horny husband.
I thought, Y’know…dude, if you think it’s OK for him to do that to his wife, someday you’re likely to do the same to me.
And the next thought was Bye!
Want to end a love affair? Show your partner exactly what you’re capable of doing…
***
So my mother got her fondest wish: I flang him out.
Was that a good thing?
Probably. The man I did marry was a far, far better human being. The marriage lasted about 20 years. No doubt it would still be going if I’d been in love with him. Unfortunately, I never got over being in love with Paul, and so after all those years I wandered off on my own.