HOLEE doggerel! This has been one terrifying [and silly] afternoon…but it just wrapped up on a positive note.
Positive…for a freakin’ change!
So earlier this afternoon, I’m out stumbling around the neighborhood with the dog when I realize…
oohhhhhhh yeah!
I’ve lost the keys to the house.
They’re not in my pocket. They’re not in any of my pockets. They’re not in any of the outside hiding places. Not in any of the drawers. Not on the kitchen counters.
They’re not…anywhere!
Sumbiche!
Dog and I retrace our steps to and from the park. All the way around the park. If the keys are on the ground out there, we don’t find them.
Sumbiche!!
Finally we get back to the house. Figure I’ll have to call the locksmith and have him change out all the exterior deadbolts. That, of course, will cost the proverbial arm & leg…plus now we’re coming on to 5 p.m., so there’s noooooo way I can get the guy over here before tomorrow morning.
This means I’ll have to sleep on the living-room sofa with a pistol at hand, prepared to chase off anyone who may have found the goddam key and figured out where it fits.
*****
We get back and we’re stumbling around inside and…damned if I don’t find the keys at the bottom of a pocket!
****
😀
WOW! Can you imagine?
A bona fide 14-karat miracle!!!! Blended smoothly with nightmare. 😀
****
So. That made for a fine, fun afternoon doggy-walk.
***
And also sooo…. I’m walloped. Can barely choke down my bourbon and water.
Seriously: that just about undid me.
***
Cripes!
Now I sit down to write this, and forthwith the phone jangles. It’s some chucklehead who somehow got my phone number and thinks she must call to check on me, for reasons (if any) totally undecipherable.
Am I OK?
Well, yeah, sister: I sure would be if you’d stay the f*** off my phone!
Jayzuz!
How hilarious does it get, really?
😀
LOL!! I have no idea who this woman is or how on earth she got the idea that she’s supposed to check on my welfare. Far’s I know, my marbles are as intact as they ever get (admittedly: not very…but still, more or less functional). Sooooo….who told her to call me, and why?
Every day gets better and better around this place!
***
Go out to retrieve the mail. MailIdiot has deposited a fistful of envelopes for my neighbor Josie, who lives a block to the north. One of these has a distinctively official and IMPORTANT look.
Trek this stuff over to her house. Interrupt her in whatever she’s doing.
LOL! I do like Josie! And feel less than comfy breaking into her household activities.
Fork over the mail. She looks a little puzzled. So I figure none of the junk was worth interrupting whatever she was doing to drop it on her in person. /eyeroll/
****
😀
Alas, it’s WAYYYYY too early to go to bed: only about 6 p.m.
- Not in the mood to watch PBS Gnus (hey! I’m not depressed enough already???)
- Lovely early evening, but Dawg and I have circumnavigated the ‘Hood twice today…enough is enough.
- Grocery run? We don’t need any groceries.
- Swimming? Too damn cold.
- Blog posting? Uhmmm…yeah…… 😀
***
Sooo…here we are. What’ll we do next???