SHOCKED, I tell you. Shocked!
😀
This noon, I thought…gee, I’d like a bottle of beer to go with the orzo I’m planning to fix for a mid-day meal. Beer, or maybe a glass of wine.
Ohhhhhkayyyy….
Welp…I knew I was out of wine, and I feel uninclined to buy more just now. But…beer?
Yeah: beer:
There’s none left in the fridge.
DANG!
So…I figure I’ll walk down to the Albertson;’s and buy a six-pack.
Well.
In the first place, just now it’s HOTTER THAN THE HUBS OF HADES out there: A hundred degrees in the darkest shade of the north-facing back porch.
Caligula, my dear son, has my car imprisoned at his house. So to acquire this delicacy, I have to walk half an hour or forty minutes, back and forth, beneath Arizona’s finest noonday sun.
Hm.
So much for that idea.
I figure I’ll brew up some sun tea under the afternoon sun (add tea bags to a pitcher of water, cover, and set it out in the blasting heat for three or four hours). Meanwhile, I’ll be reduced to drinking (ecch!) water {shudder!!} or making hot tea and pouring it over ice for lunch.
Ech, though. Yech! is what I say to that.
So, yes! Let’s walk down to the nearby Albertson’s and buy a box of beer.
Uhm…shoofing on-line…
Just now, Albertson’s wants twenty-three bucks for 18 cans of Coors.
Got that?
Yeah: Almost $1.30 for a can of superbly mediocre beer. And you get to haul it home through the heat all by your dainty little self.
Hooooleeeee shee-ut!!!
****
Welp! One thing’s fer sher: I ain’t a-spending that kinda money on cheap beer!
Next time I’m in Costco, I’ll pick up a lifetime supply of whatever plonk they have on offer that’s not too indecent. Until then, we’ll be making do with water! If Costco’s plonk doesn’t rise to my elevated standards, we’ll be having iced tea with dinner after this.
Meanwhile — indeed, maybe henceforth, going forward — I don’t feel I should be expected to accept a bottle of plonk to go with my mid-day meal. Or my evening meal, either.
Pisseth me off! I really do resent not being able to have a modest swiggle of wine or beer with dinner. But y’know what? Getting ripped off for the privilege pisseth me off even more!
I surely will miss my daily slurp of wine or beer with a nice meal. But y’know what? I resent getting ripped off even more than I’ll miss swiggling.
And so, dear booze manufacturers and sellers: BYE!!
Costco delivers