Spock, Say It Ain’t. . .Logical!

This does not compute. How could Spock die at 83, a mere thirteen years older than me, when I’m only 25?

We must be in some kind of time warp. It’s the only logical explanation.

{sob!} Spent yesterday evening watching old Star Trek episodes and movies on Netflix. And I must say…I wonder what I found so alluring in that stuff? Really, they were pretty clunky stuff. The ones with Jean-Luc Picard were more nuanced, a little better in the fiction department. Oh well. He was loved while he was with us.

While watching reruns, I learned to knit from some YouTube videos. Well…not the whole shebang, but only what’s needed to make knitted “buttons”: casting on and casting off.

Casting on means to build the original number of stitches on a knitting needle. It’s extremely easy — essentially, you use the needles to tie loose knots on one of the  needles.

Casting off means to get the finished product off the needles by sort of tying off the stitches, one at a time, so they form a neat ravel-proof edge. That chore is more difficult because it’s fussy and it’s easy to drop a stitch.

For my purposes, a dropped stitch was not the end of the world, but it sure would be frustrating if you spent hours and hours and hours making a sweater or some such.

Anyway, I got one of the button thingies made, and hallelujah! It looks like it’s going to work to make the Raggedy-Ann Cushions workable!

The R-AC’s, those of you who have been watching  may recall, were sent by Knitted Knockers to be used as fabric prosthetics — foobs, as we call them. They work pretty well, except that the person who made them pulled the yarn that was supposed to flatten the backside so tight that the things look like fat little cushions for dolls! 🙂

Being the offspring of an avid knitter, I realized that if you could make a pair of knitted buttons — which are nothing but a narrow strip of knitted yarn rolled into a circular shape and stitched tight — you could attach them over the indentations, and inside a bra the effect would then look like actual boobs, not like you had inverted nipples.

The effect is surprisingly good.

Here we have the hilarious before…

And here we have the more credible after…

I think that’s going to do the job. If the new pair Knitted Knockers said they’d send is any good, then I’ll have two pairs. I’m also going to learn how to knit these things, so I can give them to my friends and also possibly use them myself.

But interestingly, I’m finding I rather like being as flat as I was at the age of 10. It’s amazingly liberating! No hassles, no uncomfortable underclothing, no sags, no sticky sweatiness…. Jeez. Why didn’t I do this years ago?

So it remains to be seen whether I’ll use things and how much. Most of my clothes look just fine without blobs of flesh protruding from the chest. I’m not, after all, going to have to trudge out and buy a whole new boobless-friendly wardrobe — what’s in the closet will suffice for the nonce. Maybe a couple of things will look better with these foobs, but they’re not things I wear all the time. Still, it’ll be handy to have them.

And if learn to make them, it’s something to do in front of Netflix when I’m not grading papers, and they can be donated to women who feel that can’t be seen in public looking boyish.

😀