Coffee heat rising

Happy New Year!

Happy 2012!

Imagine living long enough to see not only years beginning with “2” but 2000 years counted in the tens. Who’d have thunk it?

Sounds like a war is going on out there. Cassie, cowering under my feet just now, is so terrorized she won’t go back to bed. So it looks like we’ll be up until people stop shooting off their guns and fireworks.

Our fruitcake state legislators decided the decades-old ban on fireworks offended every red-blooded American’s liberty, and so they passed a law nullifying the socialistic ban. The cities, whose fire departments and EMTs were already overworked enough on New Year’s and the Fourth of July, responded by enacting local bans, which the idiot legislature was persuaded to allow despite the new spirit of freedom.

The result is that the City of Phoenix is forced to allow the sale of dangerous fireworks, but the people who live here are not allowed to use them.

Confused yet?

That’s right. You can buy fireworks that will blow your hand away and set fire to the neighbor’s roof, but you can’t set them off.

As you can imagine, that last detail is honored about as religiously as the ban on using fireplaces they announced on Christmas Day.

2012. Can’t wait to see what they do next!

😀

 

Breakin’ Even!

Well! After teaching four sections this semester (one more than the District permits adjuncts to carry, and anything but a part-time workload), I almost exactly broke even!

That is amazing.

I’ve been drawing about $2,150 a month out of what remains of the emergency savings fund to supplement Social Security, so as to have enough to live on. This fund amounted to about $28,000 when I was laid off from GDU, at the end of 2009. It’s now at about $13,300.

Previously, I was putting everything I earned from the community college into a joint fund to pay the mortgage on the downtown house, until such time as my share for the entire year was covered; then I would give myself the rest. This usually amounted to a month or two of salary that I got to spend on my own living expenses.

This proving too nerve-wracking (I simply could not draw down enough from savings to pay my base expenses), along about the end of the summer, I decided to move my money out of the joint account and back into what I call the “survival savings” fund. Starting in August, I began withdrawing $2100 a month to cover a) my share of that month’s PITI payment and b) living expenses; and instead of paying into the joint fund, I started paying my salary into “Survival Savings.”

This in effect turned Survival Savings into a gigantic sinking fund, holding all income for the purpose of paying the mortgage and my bills.

I engaged this scheme with some trepidation, having no idea how well it would work. But I figured if I went broke, I was gonna go broke anyway. This system is more transparent and simpler than the previous one, which was involved to start with and then complicated further by the dizzying transactions caused by the insurance payments and payouts to contractors for the hail damage.

So. In August, as the fall semester opened, I started with $13,279.99. Today, as the year ends, I finish with $13,301.94, a shortfall of just $21.95.

That means, in effect, that even after paying into the mortgage and refilling the pool and having the oven fixed and buying some kewl outdoor furniture from Pier 1 and double-paying Gerardo one month for a staggering amount of extra month and then again this month for Christmas and buying a $140 crate for Charley, I still just about broke even!

It’s a miracle.

Can I keep it up? Not over the long term.

Next semester I’ll have only three sections. However, I’ll net about $3740 from the state’s last RASL (unpaid sick leave) installment, which will more than make up for the extra class. And I’ll get a kickback from American Express of about $150. That will about cover my expenses between now and May 10, including the unpaid month of January.

Then the gravy train reaches the end of the line. RASL is tapped out in 2012. And the District is cracking down on overloads. Next summer I will get one, count it, (1), $2,400 class to help me through the most expensive season of the year. That will cover expenses for one of three months. The remaining $4,800 will have to come out of my pocket.

After this, if the chair obeys the District’s rules (and he probably will: he’s a pretty straight arrow), I’ll be teaching three and three in the academic year and one section in the summer. And that returns far from enough to pay my bills.

Unless I get the full-time teaching job I’ve applied for (highly unlikely, given my age!), I’ll have to come up with an income stream that will bring in another $6,000 to $10,000 a year. Soon. Very soon.

Whether the plan to make The Copyeditor’s Desk, Inc. return enough to support both me and Tina will pan out remains to be seen. It will have to earn a lot more than the 10 grand it made this year to do much more than pay its own overhead. In addition to paying for office supplies, computers, networking expenses, and subcontractors’ fees, it will have to net enough to pay me about $4,000 to $6,000 in salary and dividends.

For this summer, we can subtract the net on the course I’m scheduled to teach, requiring the S-corp to earn only enough to pay me $1,960 to $$3,960 this summer.

Interestingly, that may not be as impossible as it sounds. Funny about Money has started to earn a profit. It’s not much. But then…$1,960 isn’t much, either.

Heh…unless you can’t pay your bills without it….

We have discovered that certain potential clients do not blink at our proposed $60/hour rate. If we can find the clients, The Copyeditor’s Desk may actually be able to support the two of us this year. It won’t make enough to buy health insurance for Tina and the kidlet. But her ex- finally got another job and has put the kidlet on his insurance; and Tina is an artist at fending for herself.

Anyway. For the nonce, at least, it cost me just about $26 from savings to get through the fall semester. Not all hope is lost. Not by a long shot.

🙂

Miraculous sunrise image: Sun Rise at CuaLo. Handyhuy. Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.

Accursed Computers, Bizarre Lesson Plans

I have GOT to buy a new desktop!!!!!!!!!!!

The iMac has virtually ground to a stop, so antiquated is it and so clogged with whatever built-in obsolescence bugs cause old computers to slide toward entropy. I’ll bet I’ve sat here watching it choke and struggle as it trudges along for a good hour. And god how i hate having my time wasted this way!

One mistake, and you’ve got to do it all over again, and it takes ten minutes just to get the program you need to reload. I’ve been trying to build this semester’s course packet from a number of PDFs for the past goddamn HOUR—the job should have taken all of ten minutes at the outside.

I may just have to give up. Now I can’t get the damn computer to respond at all.

Spent the entire day yesterday, yea verily until 12:30 this morning, revamping the website and rewriting course materials, using the much zippier MacBook. Along the way, I learned that the newer versions of Apple’s “Preview” program will manipulate PDFs with as much or more panache than my decrepit version of Acrobat Professional. This is good: it means I don’t need to buy a new version anytime soon. Acrobat is an expensive piece of software for people who earn $2400 a semester.

However, the data I need—and there’s a lot of it—is on the old computer, which is the only one that will speak to the printer. And that terminal is too old to support any fancy new Mac operating systems.

Welp, the actual work of this semester’s 102 sections is hugely simplified. When it comes to serious grading, I’ve about halved the workload:

• Eliminated all but one draft
• Killed off all peer reviews
• Thereby quashed the need to have students interact online through blog comments or forums
• Found videos to substitute for lectures
• Assigned oral progress reports at three points during the semester
• Gave students deadlines for the library labs, after which they get no credit for attending
• Required one-on-one conferences at the end of the semester, for the 2,500-word research paper that’s such a monster for most of them

In fact, I’ll only have to grade three sets of papers and one draft. The rest of the stuff will entail my sitting back and watching them perform.

The result of assigning rafts of busywork is, as usual, that a student would have to be brain-dead or AWOL all semester to fail the course. If you scored 50% on each of the three actual papers but religiously performed all the busywork and extra credit, you’d end up with a final score of 69%. This means a student could get a D (60% to 69%) on any of the three real assignments, fail the other two, and still potentially pass the course with a C.

As a practical matter, students who fail the essays don’t do all the other assignments. But in theory it could happen.

I don’t know how to interpret that. On the one hand, it’s deeply demoralizing: to get our students to pass a dumb-bell course like freshman comp (which should be, shall we say, minimally challenging no matter what the instructor chose to do with it), we have to pack the thing with mickeymouse bullshit. But if we choose not to do that, at least half the students will fail or drop, and that seems counterproductive, too.

Truth to tell, I have tried to build some rigor into this semester’s course. They’re going to be terrified when they learn they have to write on topics of my choice on a subject of my choice: Prohibition & the Great Depression. Their paper topics are already assigned (I’ve dreamed up  more than enough to cover all three papers for all 50 students), and they will hate it, hate it, hate it that they can’t recycle the sappy post-adolescent maunderings that got them As and Bs in their high-school social studies and English classes.

The semester will begin with the proposition that writing is a tool for learning: that we write research papers so we can learn things and communicate what we learn to others. And this semester we’re going to learn about a period in American history that has great relevance to our own times.

In addition to writing three researched and documented papers on some pretty bracing topics, they will also make three oral presentations (one of them 15 to 20 minutes long) describing what they have learned along the way. This, I hope, will force at least some of them to reflect on and synthesize some of the stuff they encounter as they wade their way through the shoals of early twentieth-century history.

Exterminating the drafts and peer review works to a secondary advantage: now exactly zero student interaction will happen on my external website. All that will appear there will be the course materials, weekly learning modules, and an interminable list of links. This should overcome any objection the District may have to off-network sites. There’s no way any interchange (licit or illicit) between student and faculty can occur; nothing that is graded appears there; and nothing that could even remotely offend FERPA can happen there.

God. It’s after noon. I’ve spent half the morning watching stupid little mandalas spin. WordPress.com kicked me off and now I can’t get back in. DamNATION!

And now that it’s finally let me back online after three tries, the damn thing has lost page content I entered and saved earlier this morning. Now I have to do that ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!!! What ELSE has it deleted?

Time to feed the dog and then drive down to the Safeway and pick up a bottle of bourbon. This wagon isn’t goin’ where I wanna go!

 

Higher Education in America: A Modest Proposal

Over at Thousandaire, proprietor Kevin McKee argues that college students need to develop salable skills rather than focusing on grades. He suggests young people avoid  majoring in subjects that won’t result in high-paying jobs (such as general business) and instead focus on majors such as those among CBS Money Watch’s 20 Best-Paying College Degrees.

One of the problems with this point of view is that it conflates education with vocational training. Both are important, but they’re not the same thing.

Personally, I’d like to see my college students have some skills: I’d like them to be able to write an idiomatic sentence and cobble together several comprehensible sentences into a coherent paragraph and then build an adequately researched, well organized document from a bunch of such paragraphs. About 60 percent of them cannot.

I wish they could all read at an eleventh-grade level, the level for which the Wall Street Journal writes. At least 40 percent of them cannot.

And it would be wonderful if they could think logically and clearly, without falling into error, fallacy and confusion. A good 70 to 80 percent cannot.

It would be astonishing if they understood something about the history, sociology, and literature of their native culture. The ignorance displayed by the typical lower-division student takes your breath away. Among other things, students ranging from freshmen to seniors have told me that nothing of importance happened during the 19th century except the Industrial Revolution, that Wisconsin is a Rocky Mountain State, that the word “urbanization” is incomprehensible, that Arizona is a Great Plans (sic!) state, that all African-American children are ipso facto children at risk, and that the Dust Bowl occurred in the Southwest. One graduating senior majoring in English (not the university’s dumbed-down English Ed program) raised his hand in a second-semester advanced editing course to ask what a noun is.

Interestingly, a large proportion of CEOs and successful business owners have undergraduate degrees not in business or accountancy but in the liberal arts. This is because liberal-arts training teaches critical thinking skills and communication skills, as well as furnishing the mind with a broad understanding of history, culture, science, language, and math.

Kevin is right in saying that GPA doesn’t matter once you get past that initial job. But stump-dumb ignorance sure does.

On the other hand, for all but the best and the brightest, our business culture devalues true education and instead seeks worker bees. As it stands, the average college student’s stump-dumb ignorance doesn’t matter much, and so he or she might as well be using the four-year college education period for vocational training. This state of affairs, unfortunately, does little to make our children’s lives better and over the long run performs a disservice to America’s businesses and industry.

So, here’s the modest proposal…

With a small change to our educational system, we could do something to fix that predicament. We could make college-level education a great deal more efficient and provide our young people with a future that is far more secure than what they now can look forward to. It goes like this:

Instead of going straight into a four-year bachelor’s program, American college students should be required to start with a two-year vocational program.

Pick a job. Any job. In the first two years of school, you will take courses and apprenticeship training (i.e., internships, preferably paid) related to that job. For example, you’re interested in medicine (say you want to be a nurse, a P.A., or a doctor), that first two years will be spent learning an entry-level occupation in that field, such as EMT, respiratory therapist, or medical office skills. If you want to be a business executive, you would first learn bookkeeping, office skills, marketing, and human resources. During this period, you would also take lower-division core courses around the voc-ed training. Some jobs require rudimentary math, science, and communication skills, for example, and so you could take your lower-division math, science, and composition courses during the voc-ed phase. Time might remain for you to complete a few other lower-division core courses that fulfill B.A. requirements, too.

At the end of this first two years, you will be qualified for a job. If you chose wisely, you might even be qualified for a job that pays a living wage.

Now you can complete the bachelor’s degree or take college classes online in any subject you please.

If you took enough core courses during the voc-ed segment of your higher education, you could finish the bachelor’s in two or three years, allowing you to proceed to the master’s rather quickly. Bright students could accelerate their graduate-level training in the same way they could accelerate their undergraduate degrees, by taking certain key courses (such as research methods) before they officially move up to the next level. So, it might be possible to complete an 18-month graduate program (an MBA or an MMS, for example) in a year.

Students would spend five or six years completing the B.A. (many already do that, as they struggle to hold minimum-wage jobs while triaging their college courses), but by the time they finish, they absolutely will be qualified for a job that will put food on the table. And because that first two years will guarantee a living wage, a student who suffers from intellectual curiosity actually could major in the liberal arts, anthropology, or whatever other course of study appeals to her or his bliss. A bachelor’s degree in general business on top of a voc-ed certificate plus some summer work would indeed qualify a graduate for something other than stocking the bookshelves at Barnes & Noble.

Meanwhile, since American k-12 schools do little or nothing to qualify students for real college-level work, those who can’t or don’t want to jump through the hoops to get a bachelor’s degree could stop at the end of two years and go to work at a job that will let them move out of Mom and Dad’s house.

Proportionately fewer students would go into bachelor’s programs, but universities would lose little in tuition, because they’d be clipping it from 18- and 19-year-olds in the first two years of voc-ed. Actually, this scheme could increase university enrollment: young people who would ordinarily go to community colleges might be drawn to four-year campuses, when offered a vocational degree or certificate with a university’s name attached to it. And with momentum and two years of maturity under their belts, many students who would have stopped at a junior-college A.A. might move into the B.A. path.

Colleges and universities already offer the coursework that would make up these two-year programs, and so rather little adjustment would have to be made. For not much expense and rejiggering, universities could educate and train…and a bachelor’s degree would get a young person a decent job.

Moment of Fame

Speaking of the vagaries of American higher education, Funny’s post on building an academic career off the tenure track was included in this week’s Carnival of Personal Finance, hosted by Money Cactus.

Beautiful on a Budget—Naturally

Here’s a guest post from one of this spring’s magazine writing students, Audrey Gallinger. Audrey says she has a blog of her own, but it’s not ready yet for the whole world to see. Here’s hoping for a bright new blog in the New Year! 🙂

Staying beautiful on a budget can be difficult. Luckily with just a few pantry staples (and no excess packaging or chemical additives) you can create these four all-natural beauty treatments at home.

For an exfoliating mask mix 2 tablespoons of honey with a teaspoon each of ground nutmeg and cinnamon, microwave for 5 seconds to soften the honey and apply all over your face and neck. Leave on for 30 minutes and gently scrub away with a warm damp cloth using a circular motion. Immediately follow with your favorite moisturizer for silky soft skin.

Love Bioré pore strips but not the sticker price? Mix 1 tablespoon unflavored Knox gelatin with 2 tablespoons of milk, microwave 10-15 seconds, stir and quickly apply across the bridge of your nose. Let harden 15 minutes then gently peel away the mixture to reveal clean, dirt free pores.

To restore shine to dull, damaged hair combine 3 teaspoons of olive oil with 1 teaspoon of honey in a small saucepan, heat until mixture begins to boil. Remove from heat and allow hot oil treatment to cool. Apply mixture at the roots, comb through hair and wrap in a towel or cover hair in a shower cap. Leave treatment on for 30 minutes then shampoo as normal.

For incredibly smooth skin create a brown sugar body scrub by combining ½ cup of coarse brown sugar with a tablespoon each of honey and olive oil and ¼ tablespoon of fresh lemon juice, apply all over your body using a gentle scrubbing motion and rinse.

These simple, inexpensive beauty solutions are as good for your wallet as they are for your body. Now you can create a DIY spa right in your own home, so raid your pantry and pamper yourself with these all-natural beauty treatments tonight.

 

 

Strange Little Money Habits

Yesterday at the weekly networking meeting, I sat next to one of the younger members. Every week we have a drawing: we all put in a dollar and take a ticket. If your number is picked, you get the pot.

All I had was four quarters (one of them turned out to be a 100 yen piece…), which I tossed into the basket. The young man next to me abstained, saying he had no cash. I remarked that I never carry cash, and he said he didn’t, either.

If I don’t win the pot (which I didn’t) I will have no cash for the next week, unless I go out to lunch with a friend, put both meals on my credit card, and get the friend to reimburse me in dollars. He said that was true for him, too.

LOL! I was surprised to run into a young person who doesn’t haunt ATMs. I refuse to use the things, largely because I don’t care to pay for the privilege of taking my money out of the bank.

But the real reason for this odd habit is that cash sifts through my fingers like sand. Back when I did use ATMs, I’d take $50 out in the morning and by evening it would be gone! And I would have no idea where it had gone. It would just disappear.

Having to go to the trouble of taking out a credit card (breaking a fingernail in the process), swiping, and signing is just aversive enough to make me think twice about purchases. Buying in cash is just too, too easy, I guess.

So, for me, not carrying cash is a frugal habit.

Well…there’s also a bit of self-defense there. The ATM I used to habituate was located behind a sky-scraping bank building, facing an open multi-story parking structure. Often I would go there after hours and on the weekends, when there was no one around. It wasn’t all that long after ATMs were introduced, and people were only just beginning to realize that when you went up to an ATM and took out money, you made yourself an obvious mark for muggers. It occurred to me that anyone could stand inside that parking garage, watch for people to drive up, and then approach you from behind as you focused on trying to make the machine work.

So I quit doing that.

My friends and son think I’m nuts for not having cash on me at all times. What seems to me to be a “frugal habit” strikes them as a “strange habit.”

What strange little money habits do you indulge?