Arrrgghhh! WHY do biting bugs sooooo love me?
No kidding. This human is walkin’ talkin’ Bug Bait! As soon as the li’l critters see me, they swarm in for the feast.
Interestingly, they also recognize the battery-operated electric bug-swatter I use to chase them around.
Just now, we’re in Arizona’s High Mosquito Season. The li’l monsters swarm in on me in a frenzy of Bug Joy. Bite-bite-bitedy-bite-bite-bite!
But…they recognize the bug-swatter, too.
No kidding. When I pick that thing up to give one or two of them a whack, the rest of them shoot outta here like little bug rockets!
And no, I can’t spray insecticide all around the room, because the damn stuff makes me sick. (Maybe I’m a bug????)
What I need is…lizards. A tribe of lizards. Geckos, by damn!
The only question is…how to catch them and persuade them to linger in the house.
Ohhhhhh gooodie! Just to make things perfect, the fukkin’ power just went off. And then, less than a minute later, came back on. Now I have to traipse all over the house and reset the clocks on every goddam electric appliance.
Ohhhhhh dammit!!! The power just came back on, but now all the electric clocks are hung up. None of them is working. And the phone is not working, either.
dammit dammit dammit!!!!! Now I’ll have to traipse across the street, lean on the neighbor’s doorbell, and beg them to let me call the phone company from their house. And NO, no indeed I still haven’t figured out how to use the goddam cell phone, because no one will take a few minutes to teach me how to use it.
………….
Nope! Now the land-line phone has come back on. That’s a relief: one fewer hassle for the day.
Well…heh! We’ll see how much longer THAT lasts…
*********
😀 Seriously, in Arabia (where I grew up, lo! these many decades ago) we had tribes of geckos living around the house. Wonderful little critters…they were.
Saudi Arabia, as you might imagine, is awash in flies, moths, and various other bugs. The place is Gecko Heaven. So those glorious little lizards used to take up residence around the humans’ habitations — and we, of course, would encourage them, to the extent that we could figure out how. And they did help considerably with the bug problem.
Flying bugs, that is.
Oddly, other than ants, there weren’t a lot of crawling bugs out there. You didn’t see armies of cockroaches, for example. I always figured the lizards ate the roaches…but surely do not know that to be a fact. Maybe it was just too damn hot out there for roaches, same is it was for gringos….
{sigh} There’s a roadside doctor’s office about six blocks down Main Drag West. I ought to get off my duff, walk down there, and try to get them to look at this nasty rash.
But meanwhile…
…the day is gorgeous…
…the pool beckons, come to me, come to m-e-e-e…
…and I yam hungry….
Hungry hungry hungreeeee…..
How do I not want to trudge down to the neighborhood doctor’s office? LET ME COUNT THE WAYS…
Hmmmm….. Welp…I can’t count that high.
