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HOLEE doggerel! This has been one terrifying [and silly] afternoon…but it just wrapped up on a positive note.

Positive…for a freakin’ change!

So earlier this afternoon, I’m out stumbling around the neighborhood with the dog when I realize…

oohhhhhhh yeah!

I’ve lost the keys to the house.

They’re not in my pocket. They’re not in any of my pockets. They’re not in any of the outside hiding places. Not in any of the drawers. Not on the kitchen counters.

They’re not…anywhere!

Sumbiche!

Dog and I retrace our steps to and from the park. All the way around the park. If the keys are on the ground out there, we don’t find them.

Sumbiche!!

Finally we get back to the house. Figure I’ll have to call the locksmith and have him change out all the exterior deadbolts. That, of course, will cost the proverbial arm & leg…plus now we’re coming on to 5 p.m., so there’s noooooo way I can get the guy over here before tomorrow morning.

This means I’ll have to sleep on the living-room sofa with a pistol at hand, prepared to chase off anyone who may have found the goddam key and figured out where it fits.

*****

We get back and we’re stumbling around inside and…damned if I don’t find the keys at the bottom of a pocket!

****
😀

WOW! Can you imagine?

A bona fide 14-karat miracle!!!! Blended smoothly with  nightmare. 😀

****

So. That made for a fine, fun afternoon doggy-walk.

***

And also sooo…. I’m walloped. Can barely choke down my bourbon and water.

Seriously: that just about undid me.

***

Cripes!

Now I sit down to write this, and forthwith the phone jangles. It’s some chucklehead who somehow got my phone number and thinks she must call to check on me, for reasons (if any) totally undecipherable.

Am I OK?

Well, yeah, sister: I sure would be if you’d stay the f*** off my phone!

Jayzuz!

How hilarious does it get, really?

😀

LOL!!  I have no idea who this woman is or how on earth she got the idea that she’s supposed to check on my welfare. Far’s I know, my marbles are as intact as they ever get (admittedly: not  very…but still, more or less functional). Sooooo….who told her to call me, and why?

Every day gets better and better around this place!

***

Go out to retrieve the mail. MailIdiot has deposited a fistful of envelopes for my neighbor Josie, who lives a block to the north. One of these has a distinctively official and IMPORTANT look.

Trek this stuff over to her house. Interrupt her in whatever she’s doing.

LOL! I do like Josie! And feel less than comfy breaking into her household activities.

Fork over the mail. She looks a little puzzled. So I figure none of the junk was worth interrupting whatever she was doing to drop it on her in person. /eyeroll/

****
😀

Alas, it’s WAYYYYY too early to go to bed: only about 6 p.m.

• Not in the mood to watch PBS Gnus (hey! I’m  not depressed enough already???)
• Lovely early evening, but Dawg and I have circumnavigated the ‘Hood twice today…enough is enough.
• Grocery run? We don’t need any groceries.
• Swimming? Too damn cold.
• Blog posting? Uhmmm…yeah…… 😀

***

Sooo…here we are. What’ll we do next???

Dunno if this will go online or not.

Everything I just wrote has…CRASHED.

Why? I do not know.

Get it back? Not as far as I can see.

**********************

Dayum!!!!!!!

Let’s try to get today’s half-baked effort at a post — which has kindly been disappeared — back online.

************************

So, this afternoon it was off to the park with Ruby the Incredible Corgi.

My goodness, that dawg does love the park. Believe it’s the grass she worships. It certainly isn’t other dogs, whom she wishes to exterminate. Probably not other humans, whom she tries to seduce by emanating cuteness. Surely not dragging her human around there, a task that has gotta be a nuisance for even the most human-suckered hounds.

Whom gnows?

Seriously: it IS very funny how she seduces humans. The poor critters think she is, bar none, the cutest most adorable sheerly loveable critter they’ve ever seen. If she knew how to persuade them to donate funds to our credit union account, by now we’d be loafing on the beach in Tahiti.

Weather: gray, depressing. But not yet raining. My guess: unlikely to rain. Not very soon, anyhow.

Politics: stupid as iusual.

********************

Hit “publish”

If this doesn’t work, i fukkin; GIVE UP!

********************

Okay, we’re on Effort #3 to go online.

Hope for the best. I guess.

Just shading on to 6:00 p.m. Here we are, Ruby and I, back at the house after an hour’s traipse around the park. This afternoon: a PERFECT time for that journey. Skies are working on overcast. Breeze is cool. The park is chuckablock full of young people playing and practicing sports. Too much scenic fun!!!

Ruby trots right along at this time of day. At any time of day, really. But it’s especially fun late in the afternoon, because the park is over-run with young soccer players and baseball players and football players. It’s a nice, big park, all grassy: great site for hordes of practicing young athletes.

So despite the spavined hip, I managed to get in a little exercise. Ruby has returned home looking quite pleased. Skies are filling with clouds: looks like we probably dodged the rain showers by about an hour.

Our old park, the highlight of the mid-town Encanto neighorhood, was really quite lovely, too. Graced by a golf course and a couple of spacious lakes; surrounded by one of the most upscale housing tracts in the Valley.

Our houses here are neither historic nor mansion-like. But they are handsome, well maintained, and pleasant. The neighborhood feels relatively safer than Encanto; fewer stoned transients lurking around.  Not that you don’t see the occasional bum over here…but the place isn’t overrun with them.

Just now the sky is coming on to spectacularly gray: reckon it’ll rain within the next hour or two. Hm…let us check the honored Wunderground…

hmmmm… Overcast. 74% chance of rain.

Speaking of Gnus: holeeee sh!t!

Lookit this!!

See that exploding tanker? That, right there, is the kind of ship my father sailed. He was a tanker captain and pilot.

And in the holee crap! department, we have this little astonishment. Amazing that the woman got out of there in one piece.

Man, give me 110 degrees any day, over 110 mph.

And speaking of the Gnus of the Day: The Republicans are at it again. Planning to take your Social Security away from you. Two trillion bucks? Hey…who needs it, eh?

Dayum! I cannot believe I used to be an active Republican. A Goldwater Girl, even. Never again, of that you can be sure.

Looks like it rained all night! But by light of day, maybe not so much. Skies are clear and blue, except for some distant clouds. Puddles of water lay all around: on the sidewalks, in the streets, in the park. Ruby, as usual, is beside herself with Dawg Joy to get out of the house and circumnavigate the park. The Human: not so much.

It’s nose-running cold out there. I’ve done something unknown to my right hip, which hurts like Hell — not  a circumstance that makes one feel thrilled about being dragged a mile and a half around the ‘Hood.

But presumably because of the rain, the place was not completely overrun by morons and their dogs.

Why ARE people sooooo idiotic about dogs? The fantasy that your dog is somehow like your kid is one of the stupidest things… Dammit, folks! Your dog is NOT you little “fur-baby”. It’s a highly evolved wolf, whose instinct is to clear the area of potential threats and nuisances to its pack.

Because this concept is beyond the locals’ comprehension, any time you take off during the Doggy Hour, you’re going to run into some idiot who bounds up to you cooing don’t worry! they just wanna plaaaayyyy.

Uh huh. If removing your dog’s head is your idea of “play,” sure: she just wants to plaaayyyyyy.

God, I’m sick of stupid.

Aggravating that mood disorder: somehow I spavined a hip. Every step hurts like Hell — and getting dragged along for every step doesn’t help.

grrrrrrrrr…. Actually, the hip phenomenon is getting better. It’s noticeably improved over yesterday. So…I figure I must have just pulled a muscle.

Meanwhile, the jet engine noise is ROOOOARRRRING away. But not, oddly, from the Sun City area in the West Valley. This morning the racket is echoing down from the north: the Moon Valley area.

That must please the locals no end.

One of my dearest friends bought a house up there. I almost followed suit. Luckily, though, because I volunteered to help her and her husband with the painting and repairs before they moved in, I got a real good look at how cheaply built those places are. Cheesiest construction you’ve ever seen. So…I stayed here, and have not regretted it.

Far as I can see, there really is no place in the Phoenix area that’s reasonably quiet. Not even the tomb-like Sun City/Youngtown, thanks to that air base.

Welp…better get up and fix some breakfast, before I faint dead away. Enough’s enough. I guess.

Clear, cool, and windy out there. Armies of young people swarming over the park: great fun to watch them frolicking and practicing and playing baseball. Ruby: thrilled to hike and traipse and hike and traipse. 😀

The RRROOOOAAAARRRRRR of fighter jet engines rolls in, across  a good 15 or 20 miles between here and Luke Air Force Base.

Hilariously, my mother just loved the sound of those homicidal machines — it’s the sound of freedom! she used to coo. They’d start at dawn, blast away for a couple of hours; then repeat at the end of the work day. Out in lovely Sun City, you could hardly hold a conversation over a cup of coffee, come dawn.

Unfortunately, the planes don’t fly over the city, so we don’t get to watch them zooming around. They really are something to see.

Unclear what’s going on in the Department of Weather-Watching. Skies are clear, but the wind is really blasting through. Wunderground prognosticates a 97% (!!!!!) chance of rain…tho’ there’s not a cloud in the sky.

***

In other noisy precincts: Lookee here! Tinnitus, sleep, and related shenanigans. 😀 As we scribble, I listen to a symphony of unshareable whistling. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee….

ALL.
THE.
TIME.

I’ve gotten used to it. But…used to it or not, sure wouldn’t mind if it would go away. At any rate: interesting article.

 

Wow! The skies are gray, the wind is blowing, and it’s threatening to rain like mad out there. So much for this morning’s brilliant idea: to head on down to AJ’s, order up a mighty supply of espresso, and loaf all morning in their sidewalk café.

Let’s see what Wunderground has to say about this shenanigan:

Another Cross-Country Beast Bringing Rain, Snow And Wind

HOLEE doggerel!

In lovely Alaska, a trio of skiers appear to have been buried under an avalanche. Brilliant: they flew a helicopter up to a remote mountainside and hopped out onto the snowdrifts. Oh well.

Hereabouts, Wunderground seems to think it MAY rain today, with temps in the 60s, and then absolutely positively will rain tonight, chilling into the low 50s.

Well, darn. Was gonna invite a friend to join me at the beloved AJs, unless I could persuade M’hito to play hooky, abandon his workload, and meet me at the store for lunch or midmorning munchies. Looks like we’ll be snurfling coffee in front of the computer, instead….

****

Ugh! The day is getting grayer by the moment! How DID it know I wanted to loaf the day away at AJ’s sidewalk cafe? Ruby and I are not even gonna be good for a stroll around the block.

{sigh}

Movin’ on…