…or possibly of procrastination…
Soooo much paper comes pouring into this house, most of it generated by financial institutions and by Medicare, that the steady torrent of the stuff quickly floods the desktop. Shovel off the desk one day, and a day later you’re working in layers again.
I hate paper. I don’t like dealing with it. Don’t like dealing with it because I know any given “deal with” is not just one transaction. It’s a whole series of tasks:
• Rip it out of the envelope; toss envelope.
• Figure out what it is.
• If important, stack to the right of the computer.
• If something that needs to be dealt with sooner, not later, stack to the left of computer.
• Pay bills. This entails firing up computer, finding passwords, logging into credit union website, hassling with dates on bank account (they only let you see 10 days’ worth; wanna view more transactions, you have to point-click-point-click-point-point-click to get it to display longer periods), logging into bill pay, finding the creditor or creating a new creditor, entering data, entering data, pointing and clicking again).
• Mark statements with paid date & deliver payment date
• File statements.
• Enter data in Quickbooks.
• Check for solvency.
• Find investment tracking spreadsheet.
• Enter changes in investment value; this entails sifting through three elaborate statements.
• Check formulae for calculating net worth; observe current net worth.
• Estimate likely solvency for remainder of this year and coming years.
• Reconcile personal credit union accounts (two).
• Check that automatic bill pays happened.
• Reconcile S-corp credit union accounts (two).
• Reconcile joint credit union accounts (two).
• Check that automatic deposit to joint account happened.
• Enter data in Quickbooks.
• Check for solvency.
• File statements.
• Reconcile personal credit card accounts (two).
• Pay personal credit card accounts (two).
• Enter data in Quickbooks.
• Check for solvency.
• File statements.
• Try to figure out meaning of incomprehensible Medicare statements.
• Don’t even bother to try to figure out how these apply to doctors’ bills.
• File incomprehensible Medicare statements.
• Shuffle through SBA paperwork.
• Try to remember what I was supposed to do with it.
• Do that, if possible.
• File SBA paper.
• Find old to-do list.
• Note vast number of things not done.
• Give up; throw it out.
• Find old printout of client’s publisher’s style guidelines.
• Throw it out.
• Find old printouts of other client’s copy.
• Realize I should be working on the current copy instead of cleaning off desk.
• Throw it out.
• Find accountant’s tax questionnaire, which was never filled in.
• Throw it out.
• Find paperwork re: 25 grand invested in old insurance policy.
• Flummoxed; don’t know what to do with it.
• Toss it back on the desk.
• Find unopened Christmas card.
• Throw it out.
• Find stacks of material from current client.
• Make hanging file.Make file folders.
• File stacks of material from current client.
• Find paperwasting stacks of boilerplate announcements from community college.
• Throw it all out.
• Find user’s guide and warranty for Shark steam mop.
• File with user’s guides and warranties.
• Find notes from online tutorial.
• Have no idea what to do with that.
• Give up; throw it back on the desk.
• Find today’s to-do list.
• Realize I’m supposed to be doing bookkeeping, not shoveling desk.
• Realize that after that I’m supposed to work on client’s project, not shovel desk.
• Find designer’s print-out of e-book introduction.
• Can’t remember what he thought I would do with it.
• Throw it out.
• Find designer’s rant on e-book cover design.
• Remember he thinks I’ll go to all those websites and study.
• Toss it back on the desk
• Find two stacks of new business cards.
• Realize they’re on the desk because there’s no room in the drawer for them.
• Wonder what to do with them.
• Give up: toss them back on the desk.
A few days ago, I realize no bill has arrived. I resolve to watch and wait.
Day before yesterday I think, that’s odd. No bill? I’ll call the insurance broker when I think of it.
Along about 10:00 last night, I start pre-organizing the piles of paper so as to expedite the misery planned for today. A-n-n-n-d…
In amongst the stacks and stacks of incomprehensible notices from Medicare, Medigap, and Part D, what do I find but the bills for the three policies — mailed, nacherly, under separate cover, so as to consume the maximum amount of paper, the maximum amount of ink, the maximum amount of glue, and the maximum postage.
Rip open the three more envelopes and find the premiums were due on the 22nd. And it being about 11 p.m., April 22 is effectively over. And fear I, presumably I am effectively uninsured.
So that was upsetting. Kept me awake until after 2 in the morning, at which time a weird scrabbling noise occurred somewhere in the front part of the house, throwing Cassie into a screaming roaring growling FRENZY and scarying the ess aitch ai out of me. Dust settles around 2:30. Pup is up at 5:30.
Call insurance company at 6:30 a.m.; get accounts receivable. Learn they have a grace period, thank God. Pay bill(s) with American Express, racking up some more points toward next year’s kickback.
My son has left his 90-pound dog here whilst he makes a four-day trip to celebrate his grandmother’s 100th birthday. Fortunately, the hound is very mellow. SO mellow, indeed, that Pup is already bossing him around. Incredibly, she stole a chew-stick from him. Like stealing an antelope leg from a wolf…she doesn’t seem to care that these bigger dogs have fangs. She is totally, utterly unafraid.
