Coffee heat rising

Moments of Fame

Pinyo has the 115th Carnival of Personal Finance up at Moolanomy. Funny’s rant on the persistence of SUVs appears among the choices here. Pinyo has a “time with family” theme and has woven some cool sayings into his post. While you’re there, be sure to check out Red Stapler Chronicle’s advice that we stop worrying about gas prices and focus on things that are under our control (I like this: puts some common sense into the question of whether it’s time to buy a new, more fuel-efficient car: you should go out and spend $16,000 to save $480 a year?). The Wisdom Journal offers 26 ways to make extra money. At the You Finish Rich Plan, you’ll find an interesting piece on thin credit files-what that means and why it matters.

The 128th Festival of Frugality is up at No Debt Plan, where proprietor Kevin kindly tagged Funny’s rant on the value of Things as an editor’s pick. This is a fairly vast festival, chockful of articles not to be missed. Here’s one at the Personal Financier on one of my favorite topics, the psychology of spending: The Case of Expensive Wines. Single mom Frugal Fu tells how she’s coping with her 84-mile (!!) commute. And My Dollar Plan delivers a dose of common sense when she draws the line at some frugal tips.

Each of these events offers many, many more entertaining, interesting, and useful posts. Go there!

Amazing Grace! Annual review miracle

Great galloping zot! For this year’s annual review, my dean has given me an unheard-of 4.5 on a scale of 4.

What on earth could she be thinking? Whatever it is, let’s not anyone argue.

This is amazing. NO ONE gets a 4. I didn’t know a 4.5 was even possible.

More to the point, it means a) the flap over excising My Bartleby from our staff was not taken unkindly at all, and b) Bartleby’s efforts to undermine me, which were much more extensive than I imagined, failed. Hmmm. It may mean c) She Who Is in Power stays in power. But we’ll try not to think about that one.

In addition to engineering the exit of an incompetent employee, however, and through a couple serendipitous moments, I’ve managed a pair of coups that save my unit money and make my dean look mighty good. After Bartleby left, we proposed to replace her position with a fourth research assistantship. This scheme caused droplets of sweat to fly into the air around our vice-president’s head: an assistantship costs the university around 40 grand, far more than the 16 thou we pay a secretary. (Yes, true: for shame!)

As a place-holder until things could be shouted through and settled out, we hired a 50% FTE (full-time equivalent) hourly worker. For this position, we took on a graduate student who needed an internship in one of the College’s high-profile programs, with the understanding that she would be replaced with an RA in the fall semester.

Meanwhile, one of my existing RAs decided to quit the Ph.D. program, having seen the light and and in the clear white glare viewed…well, what back in the day we used to call sexism. This is a highly entrepreneurial woman who does not suffer fools (or foolishness) gladly, so she decided to walk with the master’s. Well set with a husband who earns more than enough to support her and her offspring, she proposed that I hire her in the 50% FTE hourly position; then the two of us would start working on building our own business on the side.

Hot dang. This is our workhorse RA, a person of exceptional competence and drive who could, in fact, run our office in her sleep. All by her little self. She carries a ridiculous workload as it is and thinks she’s not working very hard.

I now go back to Her Deanship and suggest that we not create a fourth research assistantship at all, but instead convert the hourly job to a 49% FTE editorial assistant. You understand, at 49%, pay is the same as 50% FTE but the university does not have to provide benefits. No health insurance. No pension. No nuthin’. Dance to spring!

What this does: it causes the job to cost the College about 30% less than it would at 50% time.

The deal is done. As soon as my RA finishes her last research unit (she defends in a week or so but will wring the last few pennies out of her assistantship by carrying research credits through the end of the summer), we convert her to an editor and fill her assistantship with a new worthy from said honored program.

Too amazing! Apparently the Dean thought so, too.

Karma is on my side, after all. The flies must have been Her idea of a practical joke.

4 Comments left on iWeb site:

BeThisWay

Congratulations!

I always knew you were off the scale!

Thursday, May 29, 200803:39 PM

Turn One Pound Into One Million

Well done, you obviously did something to deserve it!

Friday, May 30, 200807:06 AM

Heath Creative Solutions

What happens when Lady Luck does not smile so favorably?I’m sure you know that in the education industry there is so much backstabbing and cutthroat politics to make even the most die-hard for-profit company CEO blush with shame.Congratulations on your good fortune and your brilliant moves, but I hope you don’t expect that things will always turn out this well.

Tuesday, June 17, 200806:16 PM

vh

Indeed. There was a reason I was concerned about this year’s review. Click on the link to “My Bartleby” for a clue or two or three. Credible word had it that Bartleby had been at the dean’s office complaining about me, on some occasions dispensing wild stories in those and other precincts. At one point, for example, she told a graduate student that she was the director of our office…that would be my job, I’m afraid.

Back-stabbing and vicious politicking are not exclusive to academia. But academics have strong skills in these crafts. The fact that I nailed the woman to the wall and came out with an astronomically high rating should give us some insight into how much “luck” was involved here….

Tuesday, June 17, 200807:39 PM

Great activities for a modest budget

FaM SupporterHere’s a post by Heather Johnson, who regularly writes on the topic of business credit. She invites your questions and writing job opportunities at her personal e-mail address: heatherjohnson2323 at gmail dot com.

 

Some people think you can’t have fun if you’re trying to budget and save money. I personally feel that couldn’t be further from the truth. While having to save money makes some events more challenging, you can still have plenty of fun doing activities. It all depends on what you’re looking for, but if you make a budget, you can fit many low-priced activities into your weekly schedule.

Go to the Movies. Going to the movie theater occasionally works just fine, even if you’re trying to save some cash. The average trip can cost less then $10 for a matinee, even if you get something to eat. I wouldn’t recommend going every weekend, but the occasional flick can be a good time. If you are still worried about saving money, skip the popcorn and drink or sneak something in from home.

Rent Movies or Watch What You Have. Truth be told, going to the movies can get expensive. Deciding to rent movies or simply watching what you already own can save you big bucks in the long run. For people who are completely addicted to movies, Netflix or a similar rental service might be a great solution. With gas prices the way they are these days, staying home can end up saving you a significant amount of cash.

Decorate Clay Dinnerware, Cups, and Serveware. While some people may feel that they are above decorating clay and going to one of those “artsy” places, I think that it’s a great use of a little money for a fun activity. It depends on what you’re interested in having colored, but usually the cost runs only around $20 or so. If you are low on plates or mugs, you can kill two birds with one stone by having a great activity while making something useful. If budget is still a concern, opt for the smaller clay products to decorate.

Cook Something New. Too many people feel going out to dinner is the only way to truly have a special meal. I personally think that food you’ve prepared yourself tastes much more delicious than many things you order at a restaurant. There’s a satisfaction associated with trying to cook something you’ve never cooked before and succeeding in making a delicious dish. The activity itself can be fun (selecting what to cook, getting the ingredients, etc.), and it also is easy on your bank account. You don’t have to spend a lot of money at a restaurant to have a nice time eating.

Play an MMORPG. Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games (MMORPG) can be quite fun. The best thing about them is that they aren’t very strenuous on your bank account. World of Warcraft, for example, costs $15 a month. While at first glance this may seem outrageous, if you consider the many hours some people play, it’s actually a bargain. A two-hour movie may be around $10, but if you play an MMORPG, chances are you’ll spend more than two hours on it. Of course, you have to remember that these games have to be played in moderation. However, I know many people (husbands, wives, and children) who enjoy games like WoW as a family. If you’re looking for a fun activity that isn’t terribly expensive, then an MMORPG might be the ticket.

Enjoy Lower-League Sporting Events. Chances are that your city has a major sports team or many major sports teams. Chances also are that tickets to games might make Bill Gates blush. Sporting events can really give your wallet a kick in the stomach, but they don’t have to. I know many people who take their families to minor league games and have just as much fun. College sporting events are also a great option (depending on the school of course). Rather than going to an NBA game, give the college scene a try. Rather than going to your MLB team’s game, see what their minor league affiliate has to offer. You can have a really fantastic time watching the home team without having to go into debt.

Go for Walks. Too few people seem take the time to simply slow things down and go on nice walks. Walks are free, healthy, and can be quite enjoyable. Check out that park down the street you’ve always wondered about, or simply go to a street in your neighborhood that you’ve never explored. When it comes to walking, the opportunities are endless. I know many couples and families who find that walks are some of their most enjoyable activities together.

Play a Board Game. What with all the online games to play, fewer people seem to be playing board games these days. Board games are the perfect activity for someone who’s trying to save cash and interact with real human beings. Watch yard sales and shop thrift shops for gently used games. Even if you do have to a buy a new one, chances are it will be a lot less expensive than the price of a visit to an amusement park or to even a movie theater. Board games are fun, cheap, and a great activity that friends and family can enjoy.

So those are some ideas for the kinds of activities that will certainly be fun and won’t hurt your wallet. If you’re trying to save money, you don’t have to sit at home and stare at the wall all day. With a little creativity, you can have just as much fun as someone who can afford to go on exotic vacations constantly (well, maybe not just as much, but almost as much).

Dog lives to bark another day

Amazingly, Anna H. Banana survived yesterday’s encounter with a vet who was searching for cancer. If she has cancer, it’s not easily detected. Nor does she have megaesophagus, the condition her previous vet speculated was the cause of the heavy breathing—her esophagus was clearly visible in the X-rays, and clearly quite normal.

What was detected, however, was extensive calcification in her spine. She has such severe arthritis that her spine is barely moveable. (Not news to any observer of her struggles to get down and back up.) The vet thinks the dog is in pain most of the time from that, which explains the pretty much constant huffing, puffing, and hyperventilating.

The plan is to treat her with Tramadol, a particularly effective painkiller that (according to the new vet) has virtually no side-effects in dogs. In humans, it has some wild ones: seizures, dizzy spells intense enough to cause falling, fainting, and uncontrollable shaking of an extremity. That’s why I don’t take it—my doctor prescribed it when I developed a life-threatening allergy to NSAIDs, but after getting a look at what it can do to you, I decided I’d have to be in outrageous pain to let that stuff pass my lips. The vet, though, insists that none of the above applies to canis lupus familiaris.

A hefty dose of this, I’m told, should cause her to snooze through the night. But I’m supposed to give her three hefty doses, one every eight hours. First dose came last night. It seems to have worked to keep her down all night…if not, I didn’t know about it, because at the same time I have her the dog pills, I dosed myself with two of Walgreen’s best knock-off Benadryloids, twice what I’d normally use as a sleeping pill. The burglars could have come in and set up a steel band, and not waked me up. One full night’s sleep—the first in about six weeks—-worked wonders on my own aches and pains: overnight the excruciating neck-ache and back-ache have almost disappeared.

Yesterday’s adventure set me back another $178, but at least we’re into another AMEX billing cycle. I had $50 left for the week, which ended yesterday. So I’m “only” $128 over budget at the end of this cycle’s first week.

Testing her for cancer and finding her (probably) free of it, however, allows us to test her for thyroid dysfunction (another hundred bucks), which I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have and probably has never had during the entire six years I’ve been dosing this animal with Soloxine and trotting her in twice a year for expensive bloodwork. There was no point in testing for a chronic, treatable illness if she had an untreatable disease that would carry her off.

If our theory is right—that the source of the dog’s pain is arthritis—and the Tramadol works on her, she should be in pretty darned good shape for an ancient dog. I hope so. With any luck at all, maybe Anna and The Beloved Ball will be around for a while longer.

DIY Back Massage

People who live alone have no one to give them a massage when the old back goes out. Argh! What to do?

Well, you could do contortions trying to reach your own back, or you could pony up $50 or $80 for a massage therapist to try to knead out the kinks.

Or you could try this:

Take a tennis ball or a hard rubber ball about the same size. Back up against the wall with the ball placed between your back and the wall, as close to the sore muscle as you can get it. Lean on the ball and move around so as to roll the roll up, down, back, and forth across the affected area.

Gives you a great massage, and after you’re feeling better, you can use the ball to play with the dog.

Welcome, Life-Hacker Readers

Mighty glad to welcome those of you who just came here from LifeHacker! To learn more about me and how this blog came into being, please see the links at the top of any page. Click on “categories” for a sort of index that groups posts by various topics.

And don’t forget the RSS feed at the top of the Funny about Money home page! Comments and feedback are encouraged and read with interest.

-vh

1 Comment left on iWeb site

Sridhar J

Hi

I did come from Lifehacker and am mighty glad I did :). I came to the featured page and stayed here for quite sometime. You write from the heart and it shows. All of us have problems ranging from mildly irritating to no-sleep-at-night types. Dealing with them rationally and logically is the only way out. Your Poison Poppy representation was on the mark.

An alternate revenue stream would be for you to monetize your writing, like freelance writing. I am sure you would do well.

All the best in your life.

Regards

Sridhar

Sunday, May 18, 200809:51 PM