The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. ―Edmund Burke
So, the Board of Regents has met. The dreaded announcement of layoffs should be coming down the pike at any moment. Or not.
Instead of beckonings to HR, this is what we get. Interesting. Amusing. But does it have meaning? Is it translatable? If so, is the translation printable?
How do I love my job? Let me count the ways….
😀
Never let it be said that The Great Desert University is not a weird place to work.
Yesterday one of our client editors dropped by to break a bottle of champagne over the latest issue of her journal to set to sea. While we were confabulating, the subject of the next issue came up, and I remarked that of course I did not know whether our office will still be in business when the spring 2009 issue is in preparation for press.
This caused a moment or two (or three) of stunned silence.
While she was struggling to catch her breath, I explained that the rumor mill first had it that everyone in my job category was to be laid off; then that only certain people in my category would be laid off; then that 50 people on our campus will go; then 100.
She said the university can’t be that broke, because it’s still hiring: her department is doing three searches right now, and Our Beloved Employer finally signed the candidate for the directorship of our sister program. I pointed out that the Learning Factory of Baja Arizona has a hiring freeze on; that I’d applied for a job there only to see the opening go away.
(Good God! She applied for a job there!?!) You could see the alarm as the thought registered.
This is one of those midcareer academics who’s been around long enough to have considerable clout but not long enough to be paid equitably. That means she has access to various ears.
“Well,” said I, “if you know any political strings to pull, now is the time to pull them, because from what I’ve been told the decisions will be made in December.”
“Okay,” said she.
Forthwith, she put the electronic touch on her chair, forwarding a copy to moi.
About three hours later, along comes this message from Her Deanship:
Just a note to say that we value the work of [your office] and the work you all do to support our journals. This is an integral part of [our vast unit’s] operations and value added.
This is classic Deanspeak. Deans do not say anything, not so much as “hello, how are you today,” in a direct manner. To do so would put them and everyone around them at risk. So, they speak in code.
What does it mean? Let’s parse it:
Mmm hm. I believe the gist of this message is “I don’t think you’re going to be laid off.”
LOL! We’ll find out soon enough. The Board of Regents meets in the first week of December; after that, more layoff announcements are expected.
Once again we were told a big announcement of layoffs would come down today. And once again, no such horrible fiat occurred.
I am beyond getting myself worked up over this stuff. Who knows how much truth lurks in these rumors, and really: who cares? There’s not a thing anyone can do about it. If GDU decides to can you, you’re canned. So deal with it!
The current flap arose when a local television news program interviewed the chair of a department on the East campus. The reporter spelled the interviewee’s name wrong; described faculty associates (low-paid semester-to-semester temporary workers) as “professors”; and claimed that today the university would announce that most or all such wretches’ jobs would end with the start of spring semester.
Well, in addition to our intrepid investigator’sobvious little lapses in fact-checking and her glaring ignorance of how a university works, there’s no reason to believe that the guy she interviewed should know any more about pending layoffs than any other chair of any other department. And to my and my spies’ considerable knowledge, departmental chairs presently are sitting in the pitch dark.
A fair amount of stürm und drang arose over this, with much uneasy watching of e-mail in-boxes and the university’s homepage. Once again, the nothing that happened amounted to an anticlimax.
About all anyone can do in these conditions, IMHO, is get one’s financial ducks in a row and then forget it. Figure out what emergency fund or other resources you have to fall back on, pay off as much debt as you can, get check-cashing protection on your bank account, learn what your employer will pay you at severance, and find out how to apply for unemployment. Maybe apply for a few jobs and activate your professional network. Then put it out of your mind and go on about your business.
And be thankful for every day you still have a job.
🙂
Harvesting Dollars reports that he survived the latest round of layoffs at his workplace. He describes the basic unfairness of the process as people were kept or canned based only on what job they were lucky or unlucky enough to occupy, rather than on the quality of their performance.
The rumored layoffs at GDU that had me so exercised haven’t occurred yet. But get an eyeball full of this!
If that’s not a university president saying “we’ll soon be canning everyone in sight,” I’d like to know what it is.
Well, so far the employer I covet hasn’t called me back for a second interview. However, if I understood them correctly, it still may be a bit early. The two people who spoke with me said they would do a second round of interviews late this month (it’s now only the 21st) and they hoped to make a decision in the first week of November. So I’m still hoping. If they come in with an offer that even approaches what I’m earning at GDU, I’ll probably jump ship…since it’s clear GDU’s boat is sinking fast.
Sigh. This is so disturbing. Even if I get another job (not bloody likely!), I like the job I have and don’t want to uproot myself this close to retirement. Damn those SOBs in Washington!
A vote for Obama is a vote against stupidity.
We still don’t know whether the report of widespread layoffs is true. I did find the minutes of the University Academic Council meeting in which this was discussed, and that shows the group DID discuss another pending reorganization. No mention appears of specific layoffs affecting specific job classes. But of course, according to our spy, the members were sworn to secrecy about the layoffs.
Frankly, so much about this seems unlikely.
So I’m wondering how much of this story is accurate. There’s no way of knowing, I suppose, until an announcement is made. Or not made.
Whatever. I just applied to two more jobs, bringing my total number of pitches to six. If even one of them—especially the one I just interviewed for—comes through and does it with an offer in the ball park of what I’m earning, I probably will take it even if the current rumor comes to naught. I am soooo fed up with this garbage. Morale at the Great Desert University is in the sub-basement and still riding the “down” elevator. I don’t know one person here who doesn’t bitch and moan nonstop about their jobs—everybody is miserable. No, wait: I take that back. My dean doesn’t complain…no doubt because whining about her job to the underlings would be unprofessional.
While I appreciate a job whose workload is, shall we say, minimal, it also is boring as hell. That isn’t helped by sitting around breathing toxic air in a condemned building that was magically resurrected after having been slated for demolition years ago. I’m beginning to think that I’d like to pass the last few years of my working life actually doing something, which ain’t gunna happen here. The job at the cultural center would be hugely fun, and what a gorgeous place to spend your days. And evenings: stuff is going on over there in the evenings all the time.
…and maybe an extra day lopped off the life expectancies of moi and my staff.
When I left for my minivacation last week, the asbestos abatement contractor was busy decontaminating several suites on our floor, by way of moving in some new tenants. A week ago Monday, I walked into the building through a cloud of what smelled like chlorine fumes. The stench inside the office was so toxic it made my nose and throat hurt. I left after a short time; it took three hours for the smell to dissipate from the nose and throat. Yuch!
So now, nine days later, I stroll into the atrium and smell…a smell. It also smells kinda toxic, but it doesn’t resemble chlorine. It gets stronger inside the building, and LOTS stronger inside our office suite. One of the RAs comes in and asks what is that pervasive solvent smell. Solvent, yes.
I call Facilities Management and suggest enough is enough. The FacMan rep says no one has complained of any odors and we should have called the first time we smelled it. I say well, I’m calling now. She says she’ll get back to me.
Several hours later, phone jangles: an all-business woman’s voice on the line. She, it develops, is the owner of the asbestos abatement company, calling to get to the bottom of this. I complain; she says her crew has been told to use a different product, but now it’s FacMan’s job to get the lingering fumes out of the building. Then she says—hang onto your hat, now—that her crew had incorrectly used “a solvent that’s banned on the GDU campus.”
Say what?
“Why on earth,” quoth I, “did you use a banned solvent in a building with classrooms full of kids and offices whose windows can’t be opened?”
“I mean, I just banned it. So after this it’s banned at GDU.”
Fast thinking, Lowest-Bidder Lady!
Shee-ut. What a place.
I sent out two more job applications today, for a total of six.