Funny about Money

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. ―Edmund Burke

Day from Hell: Part II

Ha haaaaa! It didn’t stop after I sat down for awhile and tried to unwind.

So come eventide, it was dinnertime for the dogs. Cassie goes in a back bedroom to dine, so that Ruby can’t shove her aside and grab her Molecules.

Dogs must have Molecules: every single last flavor molecule left on a dog dish or that might have slopped onto the floor after all the food is vacuumed into the dog.

And this is where the competition between Ruby and Cassie comes in: Flavor Molecule Wars. To keep them from tearing each other apart, I’ve taken to feeding them on opposite sides of a closed door. Since it’s now a bit too cold to put Ruby on the back porch, Ruby gets the kitchen and Cassie gets the bedroom.

While the royalty is dining, I take it into my feeble brain to use the blender in a little household hack: I wish to thin some aging hair conditioner with water so as to use it as a laundry softener — a function the stuff performs admirably.

Haul the blender jar out of its kitchen cabinet, go to set it on the countertop, and WOOP! It slips out of my hand, crashes to the floor, EXPLODES all over the kitchen. Glass flies everywhere, including into the dog’s food dish.

Ruby is terrorized. BUT…ah yes, but Ruby is a corgi. Nothing deters a corgi from eating. She’s shivering in fear, but she’s still trying to scarf down her food, which by now is glittering with sharp pieces of glass.

Snatch her up and carry her away from the chow — I hope before she swallows any glass. We’ll know by morning, I expect. Lock the shaken dog into a different bedroom; then run back there with a fresh plate of food, which she instantly attacks.

It’s been a long time, I reflect while vacuuming up glass, since I’ve broken glass all over the floor like this. Occasionally a wine glass will break in the dishwasher or sink, but dropped jars have become a thing of the past.

SDXB used to drop glasses and jars all the time. This, we thought, was because he had a depth perception problem: it was hard for him to tell exactly how far item X was from counter Y or faucet Z, and so glasses were constantly getting busted. For that reason, I bought a set of drinking glasses in the heavy Mexican bottle-glass tradition. These things are, for all practical purposes, unbreakable — years later, the entire set still resides in the kitchen cabinet. Two prior sets of less rustic-looking glassware were demolished within months.

Luckily, speaking of demolition, I happen to have not one but two extra blender jars. So despite the annoyance, the hassle, and the time suck, not all was lost.

What. A. Day!!!

Be Sociable, Share!

Author: funny

This post may be a paid guest contribution.

Comments are closed.