Murphy’s Law: If something can go wrong, it will.
Funny’s Corollary: …At the worst possible time!
Have you noticed that? Not only will things always go wrong, they conspire to do so at impossible times.
It is Friday before the Fourth of July weekend. At 5:15 in the morning, I awake in a stupor to the sound of the air-conditioning pounding away.
Grope for my $720 glasses. Can’t find them.
Lift the dog off the bed, let her out, shut off the AC, stumble to the bathroom. Sitting there I think…huh? The seat here sure is warm. Thass odd. I turn the thermostat down at night so I can sleep, then turn it up to 85 in the day. But just now it’s only barely day. By the gray light of early dawn, the thermometer on the back porch reads 98 degrees.
Stumble back into the bedroom. Search for my glasses. Can’t find them.
Bloody hot in here. Stumble into the hall. Thermostat says 82, but it’s set for 78. Shit. That means the AC’s on the fritz.
$ $ $ $ $
Speaking of $$, I still haven’t found the glasses. Search all over the house. Can’t find them.
Finally take the bed apart. Find them under the covers. Miraculously I was so tired I didn’t move last night and so never rolled over on top of them.
Check e-mail. Message from Apple: that worthy corporation’s mail & server account has come due. That’ll be $100 for service I can get free from Apple’s competition. But everyone I know has that address. Do I really want to deep-six it?
My radically reduced budget is already about shot. I really need an air-conditioning bill and an exorbitant bill for Cadillac e-mail service to come up in the same month.
That’s not all. I’m sitting here and realize the traffic ticket that came to me after my son was snapped by the traffic cam in the speed trap on State Route 51 said the registration on the car comes due this month. In Arizona, the cost of registering your car is exorbitant. Although it drops as the car ages, it’s still gunna be a $100 bill, plus another $30 for the emissions testing rip-off: a $130 whap upside the head.
Three expensive, unavoidable hits in freaking JULY, including an air-conditioning service call on a holiday weekend (!), at a time when power bills are through the roof, water bills are through the roof, gasoline prices are through the roof, and I have no income.