Annoyingly enough, I’ve taken to calling my son’s dog, tentatively named “Jack,” by my idea of his name: jackdaniels.
My poor son. Will there ever be any relief for him?
Jackdaniels is quite the active puppy. He’s been keeping me and Cassie the Corgi busy every living breathing minute between the time I get home from campus and the time M’hijito comes to pick him up, which is often quite a while, because my son regularly puts in 12-hour days.
This has been putting a crimp on my blog-scribbling and paper-grading activities. Clearly something had to be done to distract him.
Today I decided to celebrate the end of my Eng. 101 summer class with a trip to Whole Foods. Though I can’t afford Whole Paycheck, I was hungry and wanted something good to eat and there’s precious little left in the pantry. They had none of the stuff I craved: the sale on $4.50/lb wild crab doesn’t start til tomorrow and they were out of my beloved tuna and salmon poke and I can’t afford their cheeses. So it was on to the Trader Joe’s in the same strip mall, where I snabbed a very fine chunk of ripe brie and some exceptionally nice baby artichokes. And across the parking lot, what should I spot but…a fancy pet store!
Mais certainement!
Jackdaniels has taken to chewing on the kitchen cabinetry, which will never do. So I dropped by to ask if they didn’t have some sort of chew toys that will not choke the dog, and (as I’ve read elsewhere) the salesdude said all the vets were recommending bull pizzle as relatively safe. The product is also called bully sticks. Right. For the sake of our male readers we will not discuss what these objects actually are.
Suffice it to say that the fancy pet store was the Whole Paycheck of the dog world. Bull pizzle is selling for just slightly under the price of gold, which in these panicky times is fairly high. No joke: $45 for a package of the damn stuff!
Well, I did find some six-inch pieces selling at an astonishing $4 apiece. To prevent mayhem and bloodshed, I realized I’d have to get two of them, one for the pup and one for the Queen of the Universe. And remembering how Anna the Gershep could polish off a large chew stick in about 30 seconds, I figured I’d better get two apiece: $16 for four six-inch pizzle sticks.
Hence, across the city with two bags of groceries and the gold-plated dog chews in tow.
Well, it was $16 worth of dog joy! And interestingly, neither dog has been able to destroy one yet. They must be pretty sturdy, because both pooches have been chewing happily on them for the past two hours, and neither has made much progress at consuming them.
So it looks like even though these things are stupidly overpriced, they may at least last longer than your average pig’s ear.
Cuter than cute!
Meanwhile, we’ve been dwelling in Stress City for the past few days. Oh god.
It’s effing hot here in the kitchen, where the dogs and I are penned in to ensure that jackdaniels doesn’t demolish the rest of the house. With the AC set at 80, which is about what I can afford in the summer, it’s 88 degrees here in the kitchen. And humid…sticky, sticky, icky humid. This is August. You don’t need a calendar to know that.
So this is a bit draining and does little for my enthusiasm to grade papers or clean house or work on a blog carnival or do much of anything. But…much must be dealt with.
Tomorrow morning the Mr. Lutz the Trustworthy Plumber is coming over before it gets too, too hot to climb into the attic, there to examine what I expect is a half-assed repair job on the water heater vent. He said he would inspect the other vents, too, although he thinks they’re probably OK because those are hard pipes rather than aluminum ductwork. I wouldn’t put it past the roofer’s bunch, though, to have screwed those up, too.
And I’ll have another little chore for him: at 5:00 this morning when I went out to shovel back the results of last night’s violent windstorm, what should I find but this nice little damp spot off the east side of the patio slab… The spot above it is dog pee, but the large puddle is neither dog pee nor rainwater. Though the north valley was inundated, we in the rain shadow of the North Mountains saw nary a drop last night.
Soooooo….one might reasonably ask, “WTF??? Where is that coming from?”
Well, there’s a hose bib on a standpipe coming off a line that runs (where else?) underneath the KoolDeck-swaddled slab that covers about 550 square feet out there. Uh uh.
Visions of jackhammers dance in my head…
One of my students is an architect, interestingly enough. I asked him what he thought fixing that would entail, and he thought that if it was actually a leak (and what other than a leak could explain yesterday’s HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-DOLLAH WATER BILL!!!!!?????), the water would not have moved in that direction.
Well, we’ll see what the miracle plumber says, assuming he can think through the sound of the cash register jingling in his head.
Damn. I’m beyond being able to cope with any more zillion-dollar emergency bills.
If I have to have the pavement jackhammered out, the plumbing dug up and repaired, the paving relaid, and the hideous KoolDeck smeared all over everything again (what is the appeal of that stuff?), it’s going to cost every penny I earn this summer plus several thousand more. Oh…damn, oh hell, oh damn!
Really. I’ve worked like an animal all summer, devoted weeks of unpaid labor to creating my own CMS in WordPress and Google Docs to get around the flicking NIGHTMARE that is Blackboard, and I’d planned to use the munificent three grand I’m earning to fold into survival savings to delay having to draw down from retirement savings another three months.
And as we see the market swooning once again, we can see that said delay is no longer a “want” but an absolute, positive need. The last time this happened, grâce à our fine political leaders, I lost two hundred grand from my savings. That loss was just about recovered, and now, thanks to the FLICKING STUPIDITY we’ve seen from what passes for our elected leadership, the money is going right back down the drain again.
And so, believe me, the last thing I want to do is pour my summer earnings into the literal drain.
Nor do I want to do what I’m about to do, which is to take off my clothes, go out in the blast-furnace midday sun, and work on the pool; then come back in and start grading student papers.
Our new family member Barney puts quite the hurtin’ on chew toys – it must be something about the retriever urge to chew combined with the massive St. Bernard head that wreaks havoc on pretty much everything that we’ve given him so far.
However, he loves bully sticks. LOVES them. Sure, he goes through them pretty fast, but if I need to shut him up for about half an hour, they’re perfect. I got a sampler pack from allnaturalbullysticks.com – they have good prices and a good selection of sizes.
Kongs are another indestructible dog toy. Barney loves to drop his on the tile floor, where it bounces around unpredictably for him to chase. They can also be stuffed with a biscuit or a jerky treat, for even more chewy-time fun.
For a “pupsicle”, soak some dried puppy food in water till it’s mush, fill the Kong with it, and freeze. That should keep the pup busy for at least a little while. And it’s free once you own the Kong.
Maybe I’m misunderstanding, but how did you possibly lose that much when the stock market dropped? How many years away from using your retirement savings are you, and have you considered you might be overexposed to stocks?
I once read advice that rather than gradually increase bonds and cash reserves it was better to be 100% invested in stocks until about aged 35 or 40 than drastically swap down to bonds/cash to protect the assets over the next 20 years. Personally though I haven’t decided whether I’ll use that strategy or not.
@ FrauTech: At the time there was well over $700,000 in my total portfolio, not including the paid-off house (valued at $345,000) and what we thought would be equity in the downtown house. My net worth, when all was added together, came to over a million dollars.
Outside of the real estate, investments were spread about 40% in stocks (mostly blue-chip) and 60% in bonds and cash. It would be unwise to be fully invested in bonds and cash, because these instruments cannot keep up with inflation and so over time lose value.
The rule of thumb, which IMHO is a piece of folklore, is that the percentage of your portfolio invested in bonds and cash should equal your age.
The 2008 market crash was very severe, and people who had more than the average American manages to sock away in savings lost quite a few dollars. However, what too many people don’t understand is that the way to lose your shirt in a downturn is to panic and sell. By staying the course and working closely with my investment managers, I did see my equity investments — not counting real estate, which is a lost cause — recover their value. This happened because I managed, by dint of frugal living and use of post-tax savings that I had accumulated outside of brokerage accounts and IRAs, not to draw down any cash from investments in the market. The idea was to let them recover, and it worked…until the latest antics of our illustrious leaders led to another crash.
It took three years for these investments to recover after the 2008 market crash. It’s been a tough three years, in which I’ve been through several periods where my income and the dole from my own savings did not cover routine expenses. But the strategy was successful: the investments revived, and within the last month I had just reached the point where I figured I could start paying myself enough to live a little less miserly lifestyle.
Obviously, though, that’s not going to happen. The market hasn’t fallen as far as it did in ’08…yet. But if it does, then I’ll be looking at another three or four years of scrabbling together a living and trying not to spend any of my retirement savings.
All is not lost yet. My investment manager says “we did have about 40% in fixed income which has held up well and we did raise about 10% cash today by the sale of mutual funds in your accounts to cushion them somewhat from further downside and to use for opportunities later when the market calms down some. The economic news is getting worse and obviously the latest political situation has not helped.” But since the political situation is presently driven by pigheadedness, irrational dogma, and demagoguery, “yet” is the operative term.
@ Mary: Thanks for the lead to where to get the things! Looks like we’ll be wanting quite a few of them. The sampler pack is a real bargain — I just paid $16 for just four of the six-inch sticks.
@ Carol: And thanks for the great idea for the Kong filler. I’ve been pouring a few tablespoons of his puppy kibble in there, which he finds very interesting, but of course it falls right out, spoiling most of the fun. M’hijito put some peanut butter in one at his house…it’s so high in fat, though, I’m a little shy of using that stuff every day. Someone else suggested padding the top and the bottom with a chunk of relatively solid cheese, and then filling the middle with mushier stuff; this supposedly keeps some of the mess under control.
Thanks for responding. I definitely agree you shouldn’t have pulled out right after the crash. And I understand that most people were overexposed to stocks in the 2008 crash because we didn’t have a good idea about how volatile the market could be. I just don’t know that now isn’t the best time to start moving into bonds. I did so myself recently (I was 100% invested in stocks before). I similarly waited until I had recovered from the crash and then some and diversified a bit more, both because I thought it was a good time but mostly because I’m getting older.
I’m not sure if you’re still split 60/40, but if I were your financial advisor I’d tell you to go to 70/30 or 80/20 even. I recognize bonds and cash don’t keep up with inflation and it’s tough because I suspect inflation is really going to kick in in the next couple years. But I also strongly feel the market is overvalued right now. I don’t know whether that means it’ll take a dip or not. If it does for me personally, I have a long time to recover. But for you the upside might not be worth the downside of having another loss like you did in ’08.
Sorry if this is overkill, I’m not trying to find fault. I just have a strong interest in personal finance and I guess reading your blog makes me…you know, care a little more like I would for a friend. Then again, I don’t blame you if you don’t take financial advice from an engineer!
@ FrauTech: Yes, I think it’s…well, it’s really impossible to know what’s right, given the strangeness of the times. The truth is, I think you have to go with your instincts, and financially, “instincts” include the degree of risk you’re comfortable with at any given time. Clearly, that degree shifts from month to month or year to year — what seemed acceptable five or ten years ago may not feel right today, and what seems sane today may seem too conservative in the future.
Things are so bizarre now that it’s hard for any of us to know what is an acceptable degree of risk. I guess about the best any of us can do is to follow our gut feeling. These are scary, scary times.
We consider a $170 water bill a victory …. its been as high as $350 per month. Of course, I live in Atlanta, which has (I’ve heard) the highest water rates in the country, and that bill covers 5-6 people living in the house. But still … yikes.
And $200,000 in the last crash … ouch, ouch, ouch. I can’t imagine losing six figures in the market (okay, I can’t imagine HAVING six figures in the market, though I really hope it will happen soon!!)
@ Paula: Yipes! That’s breathtaking. But in Atlanta, most people have grass, don’t they? Here, all the newer construction is desert-landscaped, and many homeowners in older areas have retrofitted their yards with desert landscaping.
The two (uhm…two and a half) houses I’ve owned over the past 20 years, I’ve taken out moribund lawns and replaced them with what’s known as “lush desert landscaping” — lots of low-water trees and shrubs. My house is surrounded with shade trees, most of which get little or no water. I also have three citrus, which do need irrigation, and quite a few potted plants that have to be watered every day, well before noon, in the summer.
To keep them alive this summer while I’ve had to shoot out the door before 6:30, I set the system to come on every morning. I expect that’s what’s run up the bill — it’s normally around $125 in the hottest months, and it drops to around $60 in the winter. As soon as the early class ends (only two more weeks!), I’ll change the system to come on only two or three days a week and go back to watering by hand most of the time. That’s what cut the bill last summer.
Well, if you have a few dollars to invest, now is probably the time to scoop up some stocks on the cheap. Even a small amount will grow significantly if and when the economy revives. The trick is to bear in mind that it may be quite some time before that happens. Investors, I think, are perennial optimists.
Hmm, Doggle is slowly working his way through his designated chewies and is on his last one. Perhaps bully sticks would last longer (be a little quieter when he’s gnawing furiously!).
As to the economy, by dint of being too busy to be hands on, I’ve been sitting it out for the most part. Had considered buying a stack of stocks but frankly, I’m hoarding cash right now.
Well, sitting on the sidelines is a good place to be right now. Dunno about you, Revanche, but I’m scared sh!tless of what’s going to happen tomorrow morning. Sure hope my guys have moved us into a relatively safe position.
For the bully sticks, check out the site that Mary suggested, in the first comment above. The “sampler” package is a smokin’ deal, compared to what one pays in brick-&-mortar stores.
Oh, Post and Script!
KEEP AN EYE on the dog after you’ve handed over one of these bully sticks! When it gets small enough that the whole thing could fit inside the dog’s mouth, take it away. These things can obviously become a choking hazard at some point.
Also, I discovered that Charley (formerly Jackdaniels) is given to bounding around (he rarely walks: mostly he bounds and bounces) with the thing poking out of his mouth. That also clearly is risky, especially for puppies that are given to tumbling around and falling on their faces. Don’t let a puppy carry one of these things very far.
Our Costco just started carrying bully sticks. A bag of 12 sticks, 10-12 inches each is $22. Our dog loves them. I find them to be a little stinky until he has worked on it for awhile.
So it turns out that the 6 inch sticks from the small sampler were nigh-on useless. Doggle went through it in less than an evening. The Bully Bites were a snack of a few moments. That was foolish.
As for the serious stuff: I’m being pretty cautious. I have a long horizon but that doesn’t mean I’m willing to lose tons of it. Right now I’m not in a lot of danger but more because I didn’t have that much to begin with.
@ Revanche: WOW! That is one chewin’ poochie!!!
Even Cassie the Corgi, who has all her adult fangs, can’t get through an entire bully stick in a day. The pup, even though he soon will be much bigger than the corgi, can’t chew up even as much as she does, what with his little baby teeth. Or needles. Or whatever they are.
I never did order the sampler package, because I was afraid pup would choke on a bite size piece. We’re taking these things away from him when they get small enough that he can fit the whole thing into his mouth.
We did discover, however, that at Costco you can get a package of a dozen pieces that are about 12 or 14 inches long for $21. Considering it cost me $16 to buy 4 six-inch pieces at the pet store, that’s quite a bargain. At least…it is when you have a small dog that can’t go through them quickly.
I sure wouldn’t spent that much on the things if I had a dog that could inhale them, though! I used to give pigs’ ears to Anna the Ger-Shep, a very powerful chewer. She didn’t like those nylon chew things and wouldn’t even touch them. However, after some time, I discovered that she would chew happily on a big rope toy, and they’re practically indestructible. You can run them through the washer, which makes the human feel a great deal better about them. She lived to a ripe old Ger-Shep age and never had any dental problems, so I assume chomping on rope toys helped to clean her teeth.