So I seem to have slandered the USPS in claiming they delivered an order of Racy Books to my feckless neighbor, and compounded the sin by accusing feckless neighbor of tossing the things in his fog of mental confusion. Yet another mail disappearance has occurred, and this time the evidence of theft was unmistakable.
Roomie, being an opera singer, wears stage make-up and other types of very high quality emollients and fancifications. She ordered an item from a New York City cosmetics company she likes to do business with. It was supposed to have arrived Christmas Eve.
As you might be guessing, it did not.
When I got home from yesterday evening’s party, I found a ripped-open, empty box and a message from a neighbor:
We found this as is in our front yard last night (12/24) when we returned home around 6:30 p.m. We wanted you to know that it’s possible someone opened your mail and stole it in case you were expecting this…
Ya think? 🙂
It was nice of them to bring it over…wish someone had done the same with the box for the missing books.
So, case closed: someone definitely is stealing my mail.
Now I have to pony up $200 for a relatively secure locking mailbox. Most specimens under that price can be prized open easily with a pocket screwdriver. The Epoch Boss seems to be about the best reviewed at Amazon. Of course, the local HD doesn’t carry it. So I had to mail-order the damn thing.
A-n-n-d I’ll have to pay a handyman to come install the damn thing.
Infuriating.
Meanwhile, AMEX confirmed that this month’s bills had been mailed out in plenty of time to get here. So the thieves have those, too. I arranged for AMEX to mail to the new private (effing expensive!!) PO Box. Meanwhile, who knows what else they’ve stolen? Probably year-end statements and tax paper from Fidelity and the community college district. And checks from Medicare and Medigap…
I am going to be in deep trouble if stolen Medicare and insurance checks have gone unnoticed…dayum!
Briefly, I planned to go over to the Post Office and fill out a form to have all the mail forwarded to the new private mailbox. On second thought, though, that seems like an unnecessary time suck. The barn door is open and the cows have run off, so any such line-standing, form-filling hassle and explanation hassle (x 2, because it would all have to be repeated after the security mailbox is installed) would be a pointless waste of time.
So as it stands, the supposedly jimmy-resistant locking mailbox should get here on the 30th. Handyman from Heaven will come by in the first week of the New Year. And shortly afterward, I’ll change the address for AMEX and assorted vendors back to that of my house. Between now and then, every day I watch for the MailPerson and race outside to grab the mail the instant I hear the mail truck putter on down the street.
Wheeeee!