So yesterday I decided I need a couple of broad, overarching lists to get back on track for managing my life in the middle of the current healthcare madness. The first outlines steps to try to recover my health. Next, a strategy for dealing with the dog situation.
Dog Management To-Do’s
1. Decide whether to keep Ruby or not
• Find out if M’hijito wants to keep her
• If he continues to refuse to answer emails and phone, physically go to his house and get a response
• If he wants the dog, leave her there
• If he doesn’t want the dog, retrieve her and make a decision about what to do next
2. If decision is to return dog:
• Call Lindsay
• Get SDXB to help navigate back to Wittman, turn dog over to Lindsay
3. If decision is to keep dog:
• Simplify feeding
• If M’hijito has switched Pup to Charley’s kibble, keep her on it
• If not, feed her cooked commercial dog food rolls
• Order vibrate/shock collar from Amazon and put it on her full-time. Use it to…
• Bring a stop to food competition
• Break up fights with Cassie
• Keep pup off bed
• Only Cassie goes on bed
• Get Costco dog mattress; place in crate
• Get hinged gate for bedroom door
• After 2 or 3 weeks, leave crate door open at night, with hinged gate closed
• After another 2 or 3 weeks, remove crate from bedroom, leave mattress in place, and close hinged gate at night
• Use hinged gate to confine Ruby to bedroom while gone, leaving Cassie at large in house
• Teach Ruby to use doggy door
• Keep dogs separated when I’m not home
• When weather is clement, leave Ruby outdoors
• Confine her indoors only when it’s too hot, cold, or wet to leave her in the yard
• When she has to be indoors, confine Cassie & Ruby in different spaces
Effing nightmare. As if there weren’t enough to cope with…
It sounds like you really need to rehome Ruby. If Cassie has taken the beta role, you trying to force her to be the alpha and Ruby to be more subordinate to her just seems like an extreme amount of work, and there is no guarantee it will turn out the way you want.
I used to have two dogs and one was clearly in the lead, alpha role. She also was the one I had first and was about a year older, so that was convenient for me. I observed the roles and reinforced them at feeding time: alpha got her bowl of food first, and only once she started eating did the other dog get her bowl of food. (Both were expected to be in a Down and Stay as I prepared their bowls of food, and each was fed at a distance from the other so there was no chance of a snarl fest over feeding time.) During play times the alpha was able to steal toys any time she wanted.
Once the ex left the house, the dogs were more tense for a while and got in a few tiffs. One day there was competition for attention from my nephew and they started fighting. I assumed the larger dog (beta) was the aggressor and picked up her hind quarters and dragged her away. Alpha dog launched herself at beta dog immediately. Clearly I had forgotten the order and restrained the wrong dog! I had to switch my approach and restrain the alpha and then everything calmed down.
Alpha dog died rather suddenly about a year later and beta dog (her name is Hannah and I’ve written about her in the past on my blog) is much happier as a solo dog. Sounds like Cassie is happier as the only dog, too. Just re-home or return Ruby and get some serenity back in your household.
Hm…. Interesting point about the feeding order. I’ve been putting Ruby’s food down first because it’s an easy way to lure her into the X-pen, where she has to be locked up while Cassie’s eating. Clearly that was an error that will have to stop.
Yeah, Cassie is definitely more cheerful — she’s almost back to her old self.
Here’s what worries me about taking Ruby back to the breeder:
Said breeder has purchased a large outbuilding, which she has tricked out with racks of kennels. She has air-conditioned it, but nevertheless the dogs are in cages.
I personally think that’s cruel. And it’s even more cruel to take a dog that’s become accustomed to living in a home and stick her in a cage, probably for months or maybe even years. Who knows how long it will be before Lindsay can find someone to take her — as corgis go, she’s not very pretty. She’s actually kind of muttsy-looking; she doesn’t have the classic corgi eyeliner, nor are her markings very classically corgi.
If someone in the choir would take her, I’d feel OK about that. But…jeez. I’m really stuck here.
I think getting her down-&-stay command perfect is going to be the first order of business. That obviously would help in rehoming her as well as aid in keeping the peace as long as she’s here.
I think the sooner Ruby is re-homed the better for her and probably for you also.
Well, my tender heart wants you to give Ruby a second chance, although I may be way off track because of the “alpha” and “beta” of it all.
But I would advise to stop calling son about Ruby. I’m quite sure he’ll call you when he’s ready to make a decision.
Yeah, he finally spoke to me yesterday. He does want the dog out of his house. He’ll keep her another couple of days, until I’m a little more healed from the last trauma.
I’m going to post a query on the MyCorgi.com forum. Several people there are VERY expert with dogs in general and corgis in specific, and they freely offer advice. And I may post something similar at the Golden Retriever Forum, using Charley as the excuse to ask — that one, too, is awash in experienced dog people.
And in fact, rather than pouncing Lindsay with “I wanna give her back,” I think it would be better first to ask her advice about this. She may have some ideas. She’s part of a group that does obedience training with corgis — they’ll be starting up in the fall…just about when I get my boob cut open again. It might be a good idea to take both dogs to those classes, since the people there are experienced with corgi bodaciousness (this kind of aggression is apparently pretty common with the breed).
You never know. Good obedience training can work miracles. Between that and being careful never to leave them unattended together when I’m gone, the problem might resolve.
When I read your comments about Ruby, I get the feeling that you are concerned for her welfare, but really do not want or like her enough to keep her. I do not see that as bad. Will it be tough on Ruby, possibly, but she does not seem happy either and Cassie sounds stressed. My view is Ruby is a poor fit and you are a good enough person to not want to put her “out on the street” so to speak. Have you considered just asking on the my corgi site for someone who might want her? To continue trying to fit in a pet that just doesn’t fit seems more cruel to all concerned, just my thoughts.
It would seem that at this time you need to make your health and well-being your primary concern. I wish you the best.
I don’t dislike Ruby. In fact, I think she’s a lovely pup with outstanding potential to become a truly wonderful companion dog.
But I’m dead exhausted, and I don’t see any end of this healthcare fiasco for, at best, several months. If I were feeling stronger and more energetic, dealing with the Ruby/Cassie competition would (uhm…I think…) be a great deal more do-able than it seems right now.
But you’re right: you have to take care of yourself first (“place the oxygen mask on your face before placing masks on your children”), because you can’t help anyone (or anydog) if you’re not functioning.
It’s possible, though, that if I can force myself to listen to my own common sense and treat both Ruby and Cassie as dogs and not as my little roommates or pink fairies or whateverthef*ck, the situation may become manageable. I mean lookit: who’s the boss here, for hevvinsake?
These dogs need some sheep to keep them busy. I wonder if a couple of goats in the backyard would violate city code….
In my household the dog and cat were the boss, of me at least LOL. However, growing up – even the dog knew my Mother was the boss!
Can dominance be reversed once one dog has submitted to another?
Not sure about the goats, but urban chickens seem to be a trend.
Do you think code and the dogs would embrace chickens?
🙂 Can you herd chickens? Or is that like herding cats?
On the dominance issue, I don’t have a clue. I put up a post at the Corgi board I haunt, hoping that someone who does know will respond. Some people there seem to be pretty expert about dogs in general and about corgis in specific. Also I’ve asked the breeder to give me a call — she may have an idea or may know a behavioral trainer who can advise.
I suspect it’s possible to move the human into a “dominant” position in a cohabiting triad. I’ve been too sick to maintain my place as head predator — by instinct dogs, like wolves, watch for weakness and will move to take up the slack within the social organization. In the wild, that’s essential to the group’s survival.
It may be that it’s not too late to reassert myself, if I can learn how and then make it happen.
“Who’s the boss here?” I love it. I think I gave over my powers to every pet I ever had.
I’m going to have to try and remember that for the future, though.
My money is on you, Funny
When it comes to dog training and behavior, I love Patricia McConnell’s work. She has a couple short booklets that could be useful to you:
http://www.patriciamcconnell.com/store/Feeling-Outnumbered.html
http://www.patriciamcconnell.com/store/Leader-of-the-Pack.html
And she also has a great blog, too.
As much as you may care for Ruby, though, I still vote for you to take care of yourself first. It’s still possible for Ruby to find a great home. After all, both my dogs were adopted at around 1 year old and I’ve given them a wonderful home. 🙂
If you stick with Ruby even if only for a short while longer I agree with Linda’s points about feeding etc.
Doggle was always a beta dog but when Seamus came on board I emphasized that Doggle was alpha to Seamus and I was alpha to all. Doggle didn’t take to being alpha like a duck to water but Seamus observed beta role anyway mainly out of respect for me at first.
Doggle always got everything first: food first, walks first, more freedom to roam while Seamus had to observe slightly more strict rules. And he was never allowed to take anything away from Doggle. Doggle was just much more frail than Seamus who, though just as old, is ten times more robust, so we had to take these measures. It helped that Seamus does truly want to please though.
It may still be best for all of you if she’s rehomed in the longer term, but maybe some of the plans you’ve got and imposing stricter rules will make the time in between more tolerable.