Hot dang!!!! AT LAST Costco has decided to carry ordinary, real women’s underpants. Not a variety of girdle. Not a thong. Not some sort of athletic gear. And not your great-grandmother’s undies. Nice cute little bikinis, with lace trim, that—hang onto your hats, ladies—that actually FIT a grown woman!
It’s some sort of a miracle.
As normal women know, most women’s underpants fit only one body type: teensy and board-flat. If you’re shaped like nature built you to bear children, or if you’ve gone so far as to have borne a child or three, you need not apply to the underwear department. There’s no way most of us can find a pair of panties that fit around the rear end and don’t try to slice us in half vertically, like a laser saw in a James Bond movie.
The other day I spotted these things at Costco. Hm…DKNY…not a bad brand. Made in Bangladesh. But they’re here. No one’s going to send them back to the Third World, moral outrage being alien to our lopsided, offshored corporate economy. Why not chance them?
So I bought a package of four, brought them home, and tried on a pair.
And holy mackerel! They actually fit around my capacious aft beam! Not only that, but they’re comfortable.
Couldn’t believe it.
Next morning I jumped in the car and flew to the nearest Costco in a halfway upscale neighborhood (the store in the nearby inner-city shopping center tends not to carry stuff like this). Grabbed every box of “Extra Large” I could lay hands on. That wasn’t so many, because size 12 is considered pretty outré in the women’s underwear biz, so it’s not easy to find panties that fit women who wear what is considered the average size among American women and which, dear hearts, is flicking NOT “extra large.”
WhatEVER. 🙄
I ended up buying a total of five packages, 20 pairs, to the tune of about 75 bucks.That’s $3.75 a pair, about what you’d pay on sale for a pair of department-store panties that don’t fit in any size.
All my old underwear was pretty well shot, much of it falling apart. Matter of fact, a couple pair of Hanes panties I bought at Dillard’s just two or three months ago had already sprung holes in the fabric. I threw out every moth-eaten, flabby-elastic, never-fit-from-the-git-go panty in the drawer and neatly stacked the new goodies in there.
Provided these don’t pop holes in the seams or the fabric, too, I shouldn’t have to buy another pair of underpants for two or three years. Maybe longer. This may be the last underwear hassle I’ll have to go through for a long, long time.
🙂 When you see something that fits, grab it, ’cause you’ll likely never see it again. Especially if you found it at Costco.
🙂 I can completely relate to this! I recently replaced all the crappy panties purchased at various stores. They never fit well and I was so happy to find a brand that fit me well and washed/dried well, too.
I’ve learned to love microfiber instead of the traditional cotton that I had been told to wear when I was younger. Microfiber breathes, doesn’t stain, washes up easily, and dries quickly on the line. I first discovered the benefits of microfiber underwear when planning a trip where I wanted to pack light and carry on. To do that, I was prepared to hand wash and hang dry stuff, so it was important that the clothes wash/dry well and quickly.
In a somewhat related note…why is it that women’s underwear is usually called “panties” while men’s underwear is not? Something seems unfair and unbalanced to me about that.
Because “Captain Underpanties” doesn’t sound as cool to 8-year-olds, that’s why… 🙂
I love this post. At 5′ 8″ and 150 pounds I buy size “large” knit tops because I hate having things cling to my senior citizen mid section.
But, honestly, do I come out as size large when stacked against all the women in America? What the heck are women bigger, and MUCH bigger, than me wearing. I know there is an XL, but still.
I always thought that it was hard to find larger sizes on the shelf (at Costco, anyway) because other women had ALREADY TAKEN THEM. 🙂
My favorite pair of undies EVER came from Costco, oh, probably 12 years ago. I had 3. I got through college before the last pair positively HAD to be retired. I have looked for them on every Costco trip since. No dice.
I did this not too long ago at Target – there was a sale on undies for $3. I bought a few to take home and try out. Liked them so much I went back before the sale was over and bought 12 more pair and threw out a bunch of old pairs that I had since college – some even since high school. (For the record, my 10 year high school reunion had already passed when I did this, so those undies were quite aged…)
One of my sexy colleagues wears men’s (her husband’s) cotton knit boxers because they are the most comfy. And cheaper than women’s.
BTW, I weigh between 125-130 and I wear a LARGE!
A couple days ago I was wondering how long it’s been since I bought some new undies… and I was just in Costco yesterday, too bad I had not seen your post yet or I would have been looking for these. My boss does this same thing when she finds something she likes, she buys enough to last several years.
@Remy, I got some favorites from Costco that my MIL gave to me since they were too small for her – the brand name was it-se-bit-se. They were seamless! I looked for them for years and finally Costco got the name brand in again, but not that particular seamless panty. Disappointing. I’ve grown spoiled with the Internet, usually I can find exactly what I’m looking for.