Okay, so today SDXB drives me out to the Mayo, way to heck & gone almost to the freaking county line to have the hated drains removed, two days earlier than planned, given that they’ve both been producing less than 30 cc of fluid for the past two or three days.
WonderSurgeon is NOT pleased to see me. She doesn’t understand why I couldn’t wait until Thursday, when this event was originally scheduled, and said she preferred to wait that long.
Huh? It was HER NURSE who said WS wanted to get the things out in no more than a week and that it was TIME to do it, given the numbers. Oh well.
I said, “You’re the boss! If you want to do it on Thursday, I’ll be happy to come out then.” (LIE. But her internal lie detector clearly registered that one.) So she hauled the little b*stards out. She said it would hurt but it did NOT. She did it very, very fast. If she’d done it slowly I might have whined, but when she pulled each tube out in about 2 seconds apiece, I hardly even noticed.
She said I might get seromas from yanking the things this soon. But then she said I could get seromas if I waited until Thursday — she said you just never know. Whatever. Apparently a seroma is pretty easy to fix: they drain it with a needle. Everything I’ve seen on the Web suggests it’s pain-free — just a nuisance having to make yet another trek to the doc’s office.
Yanking them out was almost pain-free. She said it would hurt and then pulled them out counting to 10 as fast as she could speak: onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnineten! It was fine. It might have been painful if she’d done it slowly, but she worked so fast the brain didn’t have time to notice.
I asked if I could dispense with the Iron Maiden. She thought so; said it was possible using it a few more days might forestall seromas, but no data said one way or the other. She also says you can throw the horrid stinky foam pads into the wash machine (!!) and even run them through the dryer. So I’m thinking I’ll probably wash them and use them under the horrid compression bra at night.
She said some women like the Iron Maiden because…I guess it comforts them. I don’t know. Probably if you’re used to wearing a bra most of the time it would feel good. I abandoned bras in favor of camis with shelf bras a LONG time ago, and so I find binding garments exceptionally annoying. I took out the smelliferous foam pads at her office and put on just the compression bra alone. But when I got home, I threw that thing in the wash and put on a brand-new no-shelf-bra cami from Costco. It’s soft and silky. It looks fine and it feels fine.
LOL! So, now I’m one of the boys, and I have a Duelling Scar to make the best of them turn green with envy. Looked at my spectacular self in the mirror, and such is the power of Ego that I do not feel one little whit bad about the flat effect. IN FACT, in my humble opinion it looks a lot better than a pair of boobs competing to see which one can reach my bellybutton first. Honestly, I do not think I’m going to feel bad about this for a minute. Or if I do, I will remind myself: No More Mammograms!
Yeah. Life is good. I suppose. After all. More or less. As it were.
How cool is it that SDXB is there for you in your time of need…What a great friend….but you’d do the same for him”” What an interesting relationship you have.