Okay, enough is enough. After a week of lying in bed, I have got to try to drag myself back into the land of the living. The plan is to try to resuscitate my life by drafting two overarching überlists, one for managing the health situation and the other for managing the dog predicament, should I decide to keep Ruby.
Today, a plan for restoring my health to something at least vaguely tolerable. Tomorrow: how to deal with the dog problem.
Health Restoration To-Do’s
1. Draw a line at which the “it’s not a cancer” torture must stop.
• Contact Dr. Laura Esserman at UCSF and ask for a consultation. Try to get answers to these questions:
• Given that there is no invasive cancer and there never has been a cancer, and given that an EPC is so indolent that it was never likely to have developed into a cancer and that only two cases of metastasis from an EPC have ever been recorded, is radiation really necessary?
• Is tamoxifen treatment really necessary?
• Instead of subjecting myself to a third re-excision — a fourth surgery in what is likely a futile quest — should I ask to have the breast amputated now instead of going after a successful excision + radiation + tamoxifen?
• Make decisions as possible and reasonable in light of any answers obtained there
2. Try to return to some semblance of normalcy
• Exercise:
• One walk in a.m. or p.m. without dog
• One walk in p.m. or a.m. with dog
• Get back to healthy eating
• Make xergis so as to gag down yogurt to counteract antibiotic damage
• Restock veggies and fruits, and eat the damn things!
• Cut up the spoiling apples and refrigerate them so they can be cooked for breakfast
• Consume oatmeal for breakfast or lunch to get gut working again
• Combat fatigue and depression
• Nap in afternoon to alleviate exhaustion
• Get back to the company of humans:
…..Go to choir!
…..Go to SBA!
• Have Shane style hair and come up with attractive up-do
• Get a top-quality body cream and massage hands, feet, and nails daily
• Oil skin all over once or twice a day
2. Fix the front bathroom so the shower in there can be used until this sh!t is over
• Learn how to jimmy showerhead to remove flow restrictor; install
• Remove bathroom decor for the duration
3. Clean out the lingerie drawer and organize so finding iron maidens and bras is no longer a headache
4. Buy a new heating pad; make another cover.
• Treat boob with heat and ice three times a day
5. Decide what help to retain
• Cleaning lady? Pool guy? Yard guy?
• Figure out how on earth to pay them
6. Try to get back to work
• Figure out how to deal with 235 class that starts five days after next surgical circus
• Figure out what to do with Pete’s project or who to farm it out to, and for how much
• Work on P&S website
• If Jesse can’t or won’t help make sense of this, move it to BlueHost
• In either event, move Writers P&S off WordPress.com at the earliest possible moment
I also find organizing and making lists helps. If I’m overwhelmed by something, breaking it down into smaller components makes it seem something I can cope with.
Good idea, Funny.
Hi Funny,
I like your lists and wish you good luck! I am hoping you aren’t planning on doing all of these all at once.
My pediatrician recommended yogurt for my kids when they were little and luckily they liked it. I simply cannot make myself eat yogurt or sour cream, if it has that sour milk smell I just start gagging. I’d rather take pills.
I guess from my perspective I would be so p@@sed at the drs, lab, etc., that I would try to keep my boob, although who really knows what they would do in any situation unless or until they are in it themselves. You have support for whatever you decide and best wishes and prayers that all starts going better for you from today forward.
At least you have us, out here to talk to, not to mention friends and family.