Hmmmm…. If you read my past few posts, you’ll get the distinct impression that I’m in the middle of some kind of life-changing revelation. Changes to the left of me, changes to the right of me, wack-shit ideas pouring in from all directions.
Well, it’s not quite that radical. But something has happened that presents the potential to make some major changes. And to save big, BIG bucks.
What happened?
My honored son pilfered my car out of my garage. Drove it off and locked it up in his garage. This apparently resulted from a) anger at me and b) some sincere concern that enough of my marbles have rolled out my ears that really…maybe I shouldn’t be driving.
Upshot: for the past two or three weeks, I’ve been doing without a car. In the 115-degree heat, we might add.
And y’know what’s happened?
Nothing.
Got that?
Nothing. NOTHING, nary a disaster, nary even a noticeable inconvenience has happened. That’s what’s happened.
And…why hasn’t my world ended? Well…
It turns out that if you live in a sufficiently urbanized area, you very well may not need a car.
And why not????
BECAUSE… here in the city you have busses. You have taxicabs. You have trains. And you have reasonably safe streets leading to the nearest grocery and drugstores.
No kidding. Within easy walking distance, I have…
* A Sprouts
* A Walgreen’s
* An Albertson’s
* A Fry’s
* and an El Rancho
Got that? FOUR SUPERMARKETS(!!!!) and a drugstore within six blocks or less of the Funny Farm. Mostly less. Significantly less.
Furthermore, directly across the street from the Funny Farm, we have a guy who’s driving an Uber!
So if I don’t feel like walking a few hundred feet to the nearest store, I can hire the guy to haul me over there, and carry the groceries back here in his car!
My son probably thought he was inflicting some kind of disaster on me, in the moment that led up to this scheme.
But no.
What he was doing was creating a revelation.
To wit: in a large city saturated with public transit AND with private taxi services, you don’t need a car!
Think o’ that.
And think how much you spend on the damn car(s) in your garage and driveway, hm?
You could rent a LOT of Uber rides just for the insurance premiums on those tanks. Add in the car payments (if you’re still coughing them up), the gasoline, and the regular servicing and…hoooleeee mackerel!
Get rid of the rolling hole-in-the-ground-into-which-to-pour-money and you will save a TON of change!!!
You want a swell ride to go someplace special or take a vacation trip? Forgodsake, RENT one. There’s a car rental place less than three blocks from my house.
So. There’s the Question of the Day:
WHY HAVE WE BEEN SPENDING ALL THIS CASH ON A CAR PARKED IN OUR GARAGE OR DRIVEWAY?????
Why, indeed?
My car has been parked at M’hijito’s place for the past ten days or so. And y’know what? I haven’t missed it!
So a New Plan is shaping up:
- Have him sell the tank for me.
- Bank the proceeds.
- Convert the garage into an arts-and-craft workspace, and
- Invite friends over to paint, draw, model clay, or whatever other artsy thing suits their fancy.
I might even rent the garage to an arts teacher to use as an artist’s studio.
From a hole in the ground into which to pour money
to
A money-making asset…
Mwa ha ha!
Think o’ that!
Now that I’ve cleverly figured all this out (it only took…how many years??), I’m reminded that when DXH and I spent several months in London, we never bought or rented a car. We got around on foot or by public transit. Never did we feel especially inconvenienced.
Actually, that’s wrong: a couple of times we rented a car to go sight-seeing in the countryside. Never for longer than a day, though.
Why d’you suppose Americans feel we all must have cars?
Well: advertising and marketing, of course. But the truth is, going car-free may prove to be a hugely liberating experience. We shall soon see, eh?