Coffee heat rising

Best of Funny: Economy

The worst global recession since the Great Depression changed my life, as it did many others’ lives. Consequently, I spent a fair amount of time thinking and writing about the economy. Some of these posts are surprisingly good.

Battening Down in the Hurricane October 10, 2008

2008 Financial Strategies: What Worked and What Didn’t Work December 30, 2008

Integrity, Confidence, and Trust: A Financial Manager’s View of the Economy and the Future  January 20, 2009

Personal Finance IS Politics January 25, 2009

Frugality, Savings, and the Causes of Doom  March 17, 2009

Life in the Post-Recession Era: The Third-Worldization of America May 8, 2009

Living within Your Means Is Good for the Economy September 21, 2009

Ghost Developments November 12, 2009

Walking Away from a Mortgage: Is It Immoral?  March 18, 2010

How Has Your Dollar Done This Decade? July 28, 2010

Are You in the Middle Class? October 18, 2010

Back to the Future November 3, 2010

The Incredible Lightness of Our Economy January 27, 2011

Can You Support Your Parents? March 28, 2011

What If We Didn’t Have to Pay School Taxes? September 15, 2011

Do We Have More Expenses Than Our Parents Did? March 18, 2013

Is the Republican Party Bad for Business? October 2, 2013

 

Best of Funny: Household Hints

Early in the life of Funny about Money, I wrote a lot of household-hint posts, mostly because my role model, Trent Hamm of The Simple Dollar, practically filled his blog with frugal housekeeping strategies.

Believe it or not, two of these things actually went viral — the one on conditioning your hair with olive oil and the one that proposed doing the laundry sans detergent. LOL! I should write more of this stuff!

Frugal Household Hints: Stovetop Cleaner December 31, 2007

Monday Household Hint: Clean Tile Grout March 31, 2008

Olive Oil, the Ultimate Hair Conditioner August 19, 2008

Two DIY Mesh Bag Hacks December 21, 2008 )

Cheap, Easy Spot Remover January 4, 2009

The Great No-’Poo Experiment May 22, 2009

Easy Pool-cleaning Shortcut  July 25, 2009

How to Deal with Ants September 1, 2009

We Don’t Need No Steenking Laundry Detergent January 30, 2010

How to Rescue a Scorched Pan May 26, 2010

How to Make Sustainable, Eco-Friendly Household Cleansers February 28, 2011

Off-Label: How to REALLY Clean Glass Shower Doors June 30, 2011

The Real Handyman’s Secret Weapon November 20, 2011

DIY Pool Debris Shields That Work and Save Dollars July 16, 2012

How to Fix a Broken Nail January 5, 2013

Going Over to LED Lighting February 27, 2013

Best of Funny: Stress Control

Funny needs a vacation. Sitting in front of the computer is killing my back. One thing that’s become evident is that the more time spent in an office chair, the more the back hurts, and the less time spent in front of a desk, the less it hurts. So I conceived another of my Plans: as soon as class is over, engineer a good three weeks away from the computer. With any luck, a long break from computing of all kinds will elicit a cure.

Funny about Money has been publishing since 2007, a long time in the alternate reality that is the Blogiverse. So, the idea is to post a “Best of Funny” series: lists of links to my favorite articles in a variety of categories. These will be relieved by several guest posts and by a few original posts from moi.

The semester ends this week; a raft of papers are coming in today and grades are due Friday morning.  So, the Great Blogging Break starts today. Hope you enjoy these retrospectives!

FaM contains a lot of unsung posts, hidden away in the vastness that is BlueHost’s database. Some of the things I’ve written in past surprise me, but of them all, I think the one on the value of identifying rational and irrational causes of stress is probably the best post I’ve ever published. “Holy Sh!t Moments” may be a close runner-up. 😀

Incoming: How to Get the Paper Flak under Control January 6, 2008

Time Is Not Money January 6, 2008

Burglars May 9, 2008

If Next Payday Doesn’t Come June 20, 2008

Beating the Layoff Stress October 5, 2008

Multitasking: A Young Person’s Game October 30, 2008

Job Happiness: The Oxymoron of the Century February 21, 2009

Layoff: The Emotional Journey April 27, 2009

Stress Control: Identifying Rational and Irrational Causes of Angst June 23, 2009

Theme Days: A Way to Organize Time October 17, 2009

Some Changes Made Todayyy… July 29, 2010

Now Matters: Balancing Frugality with Life August 27, 2011

The Joy of Listing October 12, 2011

Am I Going Slower? Or Is There Just Too Much to Do? March 26, 2012

How to Fill a Computer Vacation April 12, 2013

Holy Sh!t Moments September 4, 2013

Music Soothes the Savage Beast

And as anyone who knows me has realized, “savage beast” is an understatement whenever some fiasco imposed by someone else’s stupidity imposes extra work, extra time-wasting, extra meanders through phone punch-a-button mazes, and extra headaches. Corporate stupidity, in particular, evinces glorious fireworks of savagery.

This weekend I could not get into the “new” credit union checking and savings accounts created by changing the account number. Error message claimed the site was having “technical problems.” By 10 a.m. they were still having “technical problems,” and, since I couldn’t get through on the phone, it looked like I was going to have to make another trip up there to talk with them in person. Given that the Dog Chariot burns about a gallon of gasoline in a round trip to the closest branch, this trip would cost me $3 and another half-day of wasted time.

Meanwhile, I have workmen here and no way to pay them unless they’ll take plastic.

FINALLY I found the credit union assistant manager’s business card, which I had conscientiously put away someplace where it would be safe (read “where not even Sherlock Holmes himself could find it!”). Turns out she neglected to tell me that the account number I was supposed to enter as the userID is not quite the right number….to get in, you have to drop the last three digits of the endless number she gave me.

Anyway, at last I’m in and it looks like everything indeed is just the same as it was in the previous account. They’ve even imported the prior few months’ transactions. The only things we’ve lost, as she said would occur, are the automatic bill pays and the direct deposits.

After a full day of hassle I did get through to a human at Social Security who claimed she changed the direct deposit to the current account. However, I used the number on a form she gave me called “Employer Direct Deposit” and can only assume it’s the correct data. I surely hope so…we’ll know next month. I’m concerned that if the account number that has to be entered for one’s initial online foray into one’s account at the CU is actually three digits shorter than the one she gave me, the next Social Security check will go astray.

In other precincts, the power company said they would move the electric bill on their end. The city water dept and the gas company said “we’ll send you a form.” So far no such form has surfaced from either worthy entity. However, they send statements, so it’ll be easy enough to just bill-pay them whenever the paper shows up.

Last night I went to an amazing performance staged by our church’s music department. It truly was spectacular.

Usually by the end of the day I’m so beat I can’t drag myself out of the house. But on Saturday evening I went to our friend Craig Petersen’s chorale performance — he directs the Mesa Community College choir, which performed at All Saints this weekend — and found that just sitting there listening to the chorale music was SOOO relaxing, it totally unwound all that annoyance stress. Very nice.

So at the last minute thought I’d try for the same last night. For Evensong, the chamber choir — mostly professional singers — sang the Great “O” Antiphons by John Muehleisen. Unbelievably gorgeous!!!!!  This setting of the Advent set of antiphons alternates passages in Latin, sung in traditional chant mode, with their translations, sung in contemporary style — and very beautiful contemporary, not the unmelodic cacophony we too often associate with modern classical music. It was an incredible, spectacular thing to listen to.

The preliminary recital was played by an organist named Curt Sather. He has a Ph.D. now, but…get this! At the age of twelve (!) he was a church organist. He was very, very good — played three pieces by Bach and one by Aaron David Miller.

All in all, it was an impressive performance from beginning to end.

Meanwhile, this morning’s damn hectic.

Yesterday M’hijito’s dog, who given half a chance will run off to Yuma like a rabbit with a coyote on its tail, countersurfed an entire frying pan full of (mercifully cold) cooking oil. This, as you can imagine, had some interesting repercussions.

He’s pretty much stopped barfing. But my son didn’t want to leave him alone all day, so he brought the hound over here. He needs to have free access to the yard, because you can be sure he still has the doggywobbles, even tho’ no manifestations have occurred here. Yet…hmmmm….  Thank heaven for all-tile flooring.

The men are building two French wells and a river of rock in back, to drain rainwater away from the porch and the CoolDeck. The back porch has always been a bit below grade, so when it rains a nice lake comes right up to the back door. And the deceased Devil-Pod tree heaved the CoolDeck on the east end with its accursed roots, and so now that corner floods every time I try to water the plants over there, to say nothing of every time the rain falls.  They’re also replacing the ironwork in front that’s about rusted through. When Pup gets here, I’ll need to wire a little screening on there to keep him from wiggling out, and just now there’s nothing to wire it TO. 😀

At any rate, this activity is driving both dogs nuts. Even Charley, who hardly ever barks, is jumping up every few minutes to sound the alarm, and Cassie has gone absolutely bat-sh!t. She doesn’t have to sound the alarm: she is the alarm.

This is the last week of class, so I’d better get to work on stoont papers.

Credit Bureau Security Freeze: The (Mostly) Pros and (Few) Cons

As you may recall, as the current identity theft drama materialized, a fraud specialist at Experian recommended placing a “security freeze” on my accounts at all three credit bureaus, Experian, Equifax, and TransUnion. Since she sounded like she knew what she was doing, I went ahead and did that.

And know what she was doing, she certainly did.

Yesterday, after having spent the entire day trying to reach a human at Social Security by way of rerouting my direct-deposited SS checks to the new credit-union account, I finally stumbled upon a live person, late in the afternoon. I’d tried to register myself with SS’s online site and failed, so called a “Help Line” tech — instead of the hour and fifteen-minute wait to reach a human at SS’s main phone number, it only took about ten minutes for this woman to surface.

She said the reason I couldn’t register online at Social Security is the security freezes I set up at the credit bureaus: The government’s site checks with credit bureaus before allowing just anyone to claim they’re you and get online as you.

I said, “So, now I’ve got to go to these bureaus and undo all these security freezes before I can get my check?”

Actually, I was so upset, so frustrated, and so scared that at least one and probably two or three checks are not gonna reach me that I started to cry.

She said no, she could manually enter credit union’s routing number and new account number, which she (purportedly) proceeded to do. Let’s hope she succeeded!

She then said having a credit-bureau security freeze is a good thing, because it goes a long way to prevent identity thieves from hacking into the Social Security Administration disguised as you, even if they have your SS number. Although it doesn’t protect you from all forms of identity theft, it goes far enough toward blocking credit-card and Social Security fraud that she suggested keeping it on the credit bureau accounts permanently.

Consumer’s Union, which has been among those lobbying for security freeze laws, points out that a security freeze costs you a one-time fee of just a few dollars or, in some cases, nothing — credit “monitoring” is an ongoing fee-based service — and it’s more effective because it proactively prevents anyone from opening an account without your permission. All credit  monitoring does is notify you after the barn door has been opened.

A security freeze is different from a fraud alert, which you can also establish with the credit bureaus. A fraud alert tells creditors that you have alerted the credit bureau of possible fraud but does not prevent them from viewing your records. A security freeze prevents prospective creditors, insurance companies, and employers running background checks from seeing your credit file unless you give your consent.

And that is a very, very large benefit when it comes to protecting your privacy! It’s huge.

The trade-off is a degree of inconvenience: for you to open a new credit instrument (such as a credit card, a car loan, or a mortgage), you have to go to all three credit-union sites and jump through the telephone punch-a-button hoops to enter a PIN and lift the freeze long enough to get your transaction through. Then you have to go back and punch buttons again to reinstate the security freeze.

This is not very difficult, though. And not difficult at all compared to the enormous hassle and grief occasioned by an identity theft. On average, most people have to spend 40 hours cleaning up the mess created when some crook opens a credit account in their names.

The credit freeze does not affect your credit score. You still can get your annual credit reports for free. Your existing creditors (and their collection agencies…) can still view your credit files. And the credit freeze does not stop nuisance “pre-approved” credit-card offers from showing up in the mail or by phone.

There are some kinds of fraud the credit freeze does not guard against. For example, the increasingly popular income tax fraud — whereby the hacker fills out a fake income tax return and has a tax refund sent to the address of his choice — is outside the purview of this device. Obviously, if someone steals your credit or debit card, he can rack up some bills (or, with a debit card, drain your bank account and credit reserve). But for anything where a credit search is required, this tool is very valuable.

The State of California has a law that gives you a right to put a security freeze on your credit records. The state’s Web page describing the security freeze is worth bookmarking — it not only explains the process and how to install a freeze, it gives you tools for recovering a PIN should you lose it.

Consumer’s Union recommends that you protect yourself with a security freeze if you’ve learned that your Social Security number has been compromised in a security breach, if your mail has been stolen, if you’ve already had an incident of identity theft, if you’re in the particularly vulnerable age group of 18 to 24, or if you have to carry around a card (like a Medicare card) bearing your SS number.

* * *

Arriving at this knowledge was a freaking nightmare, I’ll tellya. Yesterday devolved into a true day from Hell.

I showed up at the Social Security office in search of a live human right when they opened: 9 a.m. Three parking spots remained in the lot, and one of them was a disabled space. The line to get past the security guard was out the door.

Fortunately, I’d brought my computer so I could work on a client’s book. Took a number and sat in the only open seat that had a little room around it.

There was a reason for that: in front of me were two street people. The woman was high on some sort of drug — in the course of her endless droning conversation with her pal, she remarked that she was taking an extra-heavy dose of oxycodone. The man smelled bad.

Between this woman’s nonstop babbling and the guy’s stink, I couldn’t focus on my work. Finally another seat opened up across the room and I was able to dodge into it before another customer could beat me out.

So I sat there for an hour and a half!

To no avail: at 10:30 I had to leave to go to a real appointment. Thence to La Maya’s house for lunch. By then I was so rattled I carried a bottle of wine over there for a house gift…i.e., as the day’s drug of choice.

La Maya doesn’t drink much, but in due time La Bethulia showed up, fresh from a job interview that sounded extremely promising. So between the two of us we consumed about 4/5 of the bottle.

Back at the Funny Farm, the telephone awaited. After first trying to get through on the Social Security web page, I did have the luck to reach the CSR described above and, with any luck (please, God!!) got my checks routed to the new checking account.

Meanwhile, the magazine writing students had posted their final papers: 15 of those also awaited. Read papers until about 9:00 p.m., at which point I fell face-forward into the sack.

In all this flailing around, I forgot to plug in the lights I hung in the trees to try to protect them from the frost. So the lime tree will probably lose about a third of its canopy. Still…at 6 this morning, before sunrise, it wasn’t cold enough to destroy the oranges, I don’t think.

Thank heaven for small mercies.

🙄

This post was kindly included in the Carnival of Personal Finance at Money Life and More.

Identity Theft Aftermath…arggghhhhh!

Or, one might say, gaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

“You may continue to hold, and a representative will be with you as soon as possible”…blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat …

Spent an hour chatting, in person, with the assistant manager at the credit union about the annoying community college district’s having blithely handed over every goddamn iota of my personal financial information to identity thieves. She knew whereof I spoke, in spades: incredibly, the District had sent her the same apocalyptic message I got, but she has never had anything to do with any of their colleges or with anything else related to their entity in her ENTIRE LIFE.

It begins to get hilarious.

Given the hard-copy message, whose credibility we cannot assess under the ridiculous circumstances, we decide that the most prudent course is to assume that the data has been hacked, rather than to take a chance on making the opposite assumption and regret it later. Since my accounts there only hold about 13 grand (the entire amount of my 2014 living expense needs), if money is siphoned off, then the CU (read “FDIC”) will cover it as long as I clue them within 60 days of an illegitimate transaction.

We confirm that it’s possible to create a new account for me within the credit union without my having to lift the security freezes now in place at all three major credit bureaus (Experian, Equifax, and TransUnion).

So, Assistant Manager Renée, a very nice lady and wondrously together, says that now that we’ve changed the account number, effectively closing my account and opening a new one in ONE swell foop, I need to call every merchant that engrosses money from my account automatically (that would be all the utility companies plus my long-term care insurer) and clue them to the new account number; and forthwith I must get ahold of Social Security and give them the new account number, since they deposit my Social Security payment digitally.

So first off I call Social Security. …blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat blat … “Your estimated time is…

“1 hour and 15 minutes“

Moving on…

• City of Phoenix Water Services: “We’ll send you a form.”

• Southwest Gas: “We’ll send you a form.”

• Salt River Project (electricity provider): CSR takes routing and account info but has a difficult time understanding that the credit union will post this month’s bill even though there’s no way SRP can get its act together in time to apply the new account number to this month’s bill. He thinks I’ll have to pay this month’s bill with a check.

• Metlife: HOLY mackerel! Straightaway I reach a human being and she has good sense. Or at least she seems to. She takes the new information and the old routing number and says all will proceed without a hitch. That’ll be the day, I think. Privately.

• Cox is paid a set figure through bill-pay. I’ll have to go into the new account and reset the bill-pay info.

And as for the accursed community college district, which caused this whole mess and which has shared my bank account information with the entire fucking universe: I told them to send whatever further paychecks they emanate by snail-mail. You can be sure that outfit will never get its corporate paws on another bank account number of mine.

This will add a significant new layer of hassle, since depositing snail-mail checks is a major pain in the proverbial ass. But it’s one helluva lot less of a pain than the present endless series of hoop-jumps.

Tomorrow I’ll have to DRIVE TO THE GODDAMN SOCIAL SECURITY OFFICE, be sure my stupid little pen-knife is NOT in my purse, trudge in there, wait around for half an hour or more, and then try to make a face-to-face CSR understand a) what’s happened, and b) what needs to happen.

By and large, however, experience suggests the face-to-face CSRs are a lot smarter and a lot more knowledgeable than the phone representatives, who routinely dispense incorrect information. That notwithstanding, however, based on the outcomes of past exploits it is reasonable to expect that I will miss at least one Social Security payment and so within a few weeks will end up back at that office doing battle again.

ogodogodogodogod it’s not good to know too much