Coffee heat rising

Decision Taken — At Last!

Blew the entire darned morning at the Mayo today, talking with a new radiation oncologist. I must say, she was very impressive — almost as impressive as WonderSurgeon.

She said it was within the realm of possibility to treat the boob with radiation and aromatase inhibitors. However, said she: “If it were me, I’d choose a mastectomy.”

Once again the decision is up to me. And the truth is, I’d just as soon have it off. Apparently WonderSurgeon has the idea that I’d prefer to keep the boob come what may. That’s not at all true.

I’ve been ambivalent to the ultimate degree of ambivalence. On the one hand, I would very much like NOT to have any more surgery. I do not want reconstruction because that looks like an invitation to more complications and more surgery; if we’re going to do this, I’d like to keep it as simple as possible and just effin’ get it over with. On the other, if mastectomy is not really necessary, naturally I’d just as soon keep my body intact. Especially now that WonderSurgeon magically restored the diseased boob to its former splendor…or even better.

And, as our venerable reader George likes to say, “on the other paw…” I’d just as soon do without radiation therapy and five years on a drug with potentially baleful side effects.

The choices are these:

a) leave the boob on, subject yourself to a course of radiation whose worst side effects will start to surface nine years from now and can continue to arise over the next thirty years, plus five years on an unpleasant drug, and still run the risk of invasive cancer; or
b) remove the boob, reduce the risk of invasive cancer to something under 1 percent, and moot the dangerous therapies.

I mean, really: which of these makes sense?

Yup…the answer is behind Door B.

Asked her about the potential side effects of the radiation treatment she proposed…

Bone damage? Not so much with modern treatments: an occasional fractured rib
Soft-tissue cancers? Definitely a potential
Lung cancer? Probably not; again, much less probability with newer technology
Lung damage? Scarring in a small part of a lower lobe. This can lead to pneumonitis, which is usually minor but can become life-threatening. It is treated with massive doses of Prednisone.
Lymphedema? Low risk
Fibrosis? Low risk
Hypothyroidism? Didn’t get a comment
Brachial plexopathy? Not so much
Leukemia or myelodysplastic syndrome? Very low incidence

Translations: any of these things is a possibility, although most of them pose fairly low risk.

Pneumonitis and new cancers are probably the most likely of the unpleasant side effects. I’ve had prednisone, in very low doses…and I do NOT want any more of it, thank you. Its aftereffects appear weeks or months after you’ve taken it, and they’re very unpleasant, indeed. I wouldn’t take it unless I were at risk of dying, and I wouldn’t put myself at that risk for the sake of keeping a boob hanging on my chest.

And one “not-a-cancer” has been quite traumatic enough, thank you. Don’t think I need to enjoy a real cancer sometime — anytime — in the future.

This has been going since last June! My life has been turned upside down; everything I’d planned to do business-wise and personally has been disrupted, it’s drained my checking account, the whole thing has me teetering on the edge of stark-raving-CRAZY, and I WANT IT TO STOP!

If chopping off the boob will make is stop, by all means let’s get on with it at the earliest possible moment.

For the nonce, though, I have to get back to work.

Later! 🙂

Back to Normal…

…Temporarily, anyway. Actually got some work done this weekend, for the first time since the Healthcare Fiasco from Hell started. And that has been months: it began last June.

In the paying work department:

Met with the respected bank CEO client on Friday. Received instructions, heard update on his activities. Good.
Read lawyer/novelist’s copy; sent off a slab of his latest iteration.
Received more from the same; read about a half of that. Should be working on that right now, instead of blogging over coffee.
Worked frantically on a book of my own, which I want to enter in a low-stakes local contest within the next few days.

In the puttering around the Funny Farm department:

Drove to Home Depot; purchased plants and four bags of potting soil.
Drove to a Mexican import/kitsch store and purchased a fake agave metal sculpture (therein lies a tale!).*
Dragged bags of potting soil out of car.
Dollied a heavy potted plant out of the front courtyard and placed it decoratively in the perennially moribund, failed flowerbed in front, getting it out my way and also, by serendipity, making the mess I made out there look a little better.
Deconstructed huge, leaky, ugly, eroded old strawberry pot; rescued its few survivng plants, dollied strawberry pot out of sight and mind.
Filled the new Talavera pots with potting soil; planted survivors and new stuff in them.
Cleaned up the mess.
Moved old coffee table out of the way to make room for gorgeous new Thos Moser table, delivered Saturday afternoon.

Fake agave and friends
Fake agave and friends (click on the images for larger, higher resolution views)

* Tale!  So, I wanted to put a plant that would grow sort of tall but not too tall in the $29.99 pot I got the other day, by sheer luck. The courtyard is way too hot for sanseveria, at least in the spot where I crave to see this bargain pot. A real agave would get too big. Aloe vera might work, but it’s invasive and kinda ugly. Idea: use one of those kitschy metal garden sculptures of an agave scuplted in rust.

Whitfill’s Nursery, home of the accidental bargain pot, did not have any left — they’ve carried them in the past, but apparently others in North Central have suffered the same lapse in taste I’m undergoing. But I happen to know of a down-at-the-heels shop in a scruffy area of North Phoenix, tucked into the river of blight that is Cave Creek Road. They carry a motley collection of anything they imagine might sell, including the self-same Talavera pots that Whitfill’s trucks in from Mexico. And they have a lot of rusted kitsch.

Yea verily, they did have the kitsch agave. And they had big signs up all over the place: 60% OFF! EVERYTHING MUST GO!!

So I took a look at their Talavera, because for sure if I could get another steal on one, I’d grab it in an instant.

They happen to have the very same style of pot that Whitfill’s normally sells for $59.99. Dang! Sixty percent off $60 would be $36, making the sale price an incredible $24.

Uh, no.

The junk store’s price tag? $139.99!!

$140 x 60% = $84
$140 – $84 = $56

Heee! Their “sale” price is about the same as Whitfill’s full price.

How do people get away with that kind of thing?

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All real, some from defunct strawberry pot replaced by Talavera extravaganza
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New succulent pot
Don't tread on me...
Don’t tread on me…
Puppy...Like...Pots...Eat...Plants!
Puppy…Like…Pots…Eat…Plants!

Whacked!

Quite the little freshet blew in this afternoon. Along about 2 p.m., it got as dark as evening — you’d have thought it was 7 or 8 o’clock at night. Then a heckuva rain and windstorm hit.

Shortly, my neighbor Will e-mailed to report damage in his part of the ’hood: branches on a roof, gate down…  Naturally, after the sun came out the dogs and I had to go out to explore, along with all the other neighbors.

Aleppo pine, detail. Christian Ferrer. Creative Commons.
Aleppo pine, detail. Christian Ferrer. Creative Commons.

Across the road, my neighbors’ young paloverde tree looked like some cosmic hand had reached down out of the sky and smashed it from above. It lost one limb during the last storm, but this one flattened the thing.

On my old street, two blocks to the north, an Aleppo pine, uprooted, crashed to the ground. Fortunately, it fell into the street and not onto the neighbor’s house.

These pine trees, a popular landscaping item forty years ago when our houses were built, grow fast, get huge, and are brittle. If they’re not kept pruned so the wind can blow through, limbs will break off and fall on nearby structures. Or the whole damn thing can fall over.

Back in the Pleistocene, when I was a young society matron, one of our social acquaintances lived in a historic house in a district of old mansions. It was shaded by a historic Aleppo. Come a monsoon one summer, a limb the size of a small tree snapped off the thing and fell on their four-year-old’s bedroom. Luckily, the child wasn’t in the room — if he had been, he would have been seriously injured or killed. Like eucalyptus and cottonwood, it’s not a tree one would like to park next to one’s home.

Amazingly, none of the trees in the forest that surrounds the Funny Farm broke, not even the remaining devil pod tree on the west side. Those things — known in the real world as willow acacia — are also fast-growing, messy, and brittle. The Aleppo is one of the few trees that makes a bigger, even more obnoxious mess than the devil pod.

Guess I need to have that taken out, now that the weather’s cooling. It could be replaced, I think with a desert willow, which is quite a pretty tree and, while not as tall, provides nice shade when it’s mature. And doesn’t fall over in a stiff breeze.

At any rate, these melodramatic storms are coming more often and more violently, presumably thanks to climate change. Probably would be a good idea to remove — or at least tend to — the brittle and the breakable. Make an insurance company happy!

Hired Help

So, knowing I was about to be rendered too incapacitated to keep up with the labor around the Funny Farm and its north and south forties, I hired some workers to help out. We already had Gerardo, a worthy who relieves me from having to weed, trim, blower, dig, repair, and rake. The redoubtable Gerardo, the indispensable Gerardo. He drops by every couple of weeks, to the tune of $85/hit.

Now we have Luz, a cleaning lady, who also comes around every two weeks: $80 a hit; and Chris, a pool guy, who charges $80/month for once-a-week service. If and when I ever get well, am I going to keep these people on the payroll?

Well, of course, Gerardo will stay, come Hell or high water. But the cleaning lady? The pool guy?

Normally, I dislike hiring cleaning ladies, because they rarely do the job as well as I can and often break or otherwise dork things up. But Luz is an exception (well…not counting for the broken vacuum cleaner and the dislocated the shower doors…). She really is very, very good, and in fact does a better job than I can do. Her efforts, which are considerable, make it possible for me to invite friends to dinner without having to knock myself out cleaning house before they arrive. Overall, she makes my house a much more pleasant place to live…simply because I hate cleaning and put it off until the place is such a rat’s nest that I’m forced to shovel it out.

Do I need Luz? Or rather, will I still need her once I’m back on my feet?

Probably not.

As for Chris: what’s happening there is I’m paying a guy to come once a week to do a job that needs to be done every day. Effectively he relieves me of one day a week of work. On the other hand, when monsoons are not storming, the pool water will self-maintain for several days; if he does the heavy lifting when he shows up on Wednesdays (make that “if he shows up”), the rest is pretty easy for me. And it must be allowed that he finally succeeded in beating back the mustard algae, which took to coating the walls along about the middle of last winter and, once the weather warmed, turned the pool into a mossy fish pond.

However, in November I’ll drain and refill the pool, and once that job’s done, it’ll be very, very easy to maintain the system algae-free. Chris will become majorly redundant.

So: Luz in, Luz out?

I incline to want to keep Luz around. It is almost impossible to find a truly competent cleaning lady, and this one is competent in spades. Luz is the best cleaning lady to cross my path in 35 or 40 years, and on top of that, she’s an extremely nice person, very comfortable to have around. Letting her go could be the height of lunacy.

Okay, so we’ll think about Luz. Now, Chris in, Chris out?

Well, it is nice not to have to stay on top of the swimming pool every living breathing day. On the other hand, $80/month is $20 a week for about 10 minutes of Chris’s time. He ghosts in and out of here so fast that if I’m not actually outdoors when he slides through the side gate, I miss seeing him.  But…if I’m right that the present horror show will resolve along about the middle of December, if I let Chris go I’ll be firing him at Christmastime!!!

Augh.

There’s another way of looking at this: not over the short term (I’ll only need these people until I recuperate) but over the long term (as age advances any recuperation will reverse itself and I’ll again need help to take care of the place).

I like my house and my neighborhood. They’re pretty much perfect for me, especially given that the house is paid off. So much do I like the house and the ’hood that my goal is to age in place. Ideally, I would like to get old here and die here.

To make that happen, I will need someone to help keep the house habitable and someone to deal with the pool (unless I have the pool filled in or covered). When that happens, I’m going to have to pay their wages out of my monthly cash flow. And $ 170/month for Gerardo plus $160 for Luz plus $80 for Chris comes to $410 a month.

Maybe it would be good to make myself accustomed to having to carve that much out of the monthly budget now, rather than having to struggle with it when I’m older, even less able to think clearly than I am now, and probably sick. At this point it would be fairly easy to adjust to the required belt-tightening; in ten years or so, that could be more difficult. If I hang onto this bunch, the staff will be in place and the budget will be in place when the need arises.

On the other hand…one could simply take Luz and Chris’s pay — $ 240/month — and stick it in a rainy-day account, to be used to hire people sometime in the future. If I don’t need the extra help until I’m, say, 80, then such a fund would contain enough to hire maintenance people until I’m 90. And if I’m lucky, I’ll croak over before then.

{chortle!} I don’t know. Gerardo is not going. But as for the other two: it feels like a silly extravagance to hire a housecleaner and a pool guy to do work I can and should do myself. Yet it’s nice. It’s so very nice to have someone else doing this stuff. They may be worth the cost…

Plunder!

Here’s a delightful surprise: The spoils of the latest little drama have been pouring in, and they’re quite nice.

My friends at our business group came forth with a giant bag filled with plants. Two calla lilies — I love calla lilies, so Diego Rivera — and then…well, you’ll have to see it to believe it.

Both little pots of callas now occupy a beloved glazed pot whose occupant I recently killed. Leave anything outdoors in a glazed pot, and what you get is a fricasseed plant: in Arizona’s heat and sun, glazed pots behave exactly like slow cookers. It’s in the house, at least until the weather cools, and tall enough that I don’t believe Pup can reach the toxic little plants.  Well. She can, but I doubt if she will.

P1030172

Now, check out THIS thing:  (Click on the images, as usual, for a better view.)

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That is a pineapple plant! Complete with a baby pineapple growing on it!! Have you ever seen such a critter in a florist’s shop? How cool IS that?

So this morning after breakfast I decided I’d better get them potted up, lest they parch and die in their  little plastic pots. And I’ll tellya, the last thing I felt like doing was dragging potting soil and heavy pots around. This is the kind of  project that spawns new side-projects as it goes…today, we had to pull old dead lavender plants out of another glazed pot; then decide said glazed number would surely kill the pineapple; then find an unglazed terracotta pot and transfer dirt from the Deceased’s pot into the terracotta pot while the sprinkler was running on the other pot filled with completely dried-out, utterly parched sawdust-like new but much neglected potting soil and while we were at it pull out the dead salvia and some more of the dead wire-like Mexican primrose and untangle the stupid fence thing we put in to keep the dog out of the pool which now keeps us out of the flowerbed and has created a woven mat of weeds and dead plants and real, metal wire and plant the pineapple and figure out where to put it where the blowtorch sunlight back there wouldn’t incinerate it but maybe it would get enough light to survive, it being a high-luminosity sort of plant and discover that running the sprinkler on low into the other pot did NOTHING to saturate the dessicated potting soil and so have to hunker down and stick our paws in the dirt and stir and mix and squeeze and stir until the soil was moistened and then plant the callas in that and then drag the (heavy!!!) thing into the house and try to get it as close to the door where it’ll get some light as possible without having it block the door and…

Well, by the time all these antics were over, I was dripping sweat.  Possibly this is not good for a patch of skin over which one’s doctors have plastered a layer of super-glue.

On the other hand…some sweat was undoubtedly in order. In the past three days, since the morning of the surgery, I’ve put on four and a half pounds!!!!!!!!!

Almost fainted when I stepped on the scale this morning.

There’s a way to lose weight, though: fall into a swoon on the floor and the scale will quit registering those pounds. Any pounds.

It’s been a perfect storm of de-dietification.

To start with, I’ve been craving comfort food, as one would expect. So when my son came over on Wednesday to drive me out to the Mayo so they could inject radioactive things into me, I fixed him some fried scampi over pasta, with lots of butter and garlic and…stuff like that. Num!

Pasta makes me bloat up like a balloon.

Then at some point I was flying around, not having had time for breakfast, and I shot into my favorite local coffee house, Grinders, where the coffee is superior and the food is usually skimpy. Starved, I grabbed their last croissant and…I don’t know where the boss got that thing, but by gawd, it was the best croissant I’ve had since I was in La Jolla! You know what that means, of course: butter folded into white flour folded into butter folded into…yes. So, so, so good to eat.

White flour makes me bloat up like a balloon.

La Maya and La Bethulia showed up with mountains of magnificent food to tide us over the crisis. Oh. My. GOD can that woman cook!! Arroz con pollo and real gazpacho and asparagus soup that must have more cream in it than asparagus and real hummus made from scratch and real pesto made from scratch and holy mackerel.

Mountains of magnificent food make me bloat up like a balloon.

To go with it, my son dropped by Karl’s Bakery and got us a beautiful loaf of crunchy-crusted bread. So, so freaking good to eat.

Bread makes me bloat up like a balloon.

Yesterday afternoon M’hijito and I decided nothing would do but what we had to have ice cream. So he took us to his favorite extravagant gourmet ice-cream shop down in his neighborhood.

Ice cream cones make me bloat up like a balloon.

This perfect combination — the only one of my favorite bloaters that we didn’t have was beer! — did the  job on the scheme to keep the fat under control.

Helles Belles. I thought I’d lose weight from all that trauma. What, two whole days without a bourbon and water? How can anyone possibly survive such deprivation?

Four and a half freaking pounds.

A side effect of throwing myself around this morning is that weirdly, I suddenly feel a lot better. It’s like I needed to get off my duff and start banging around again.

The boob hardly hurts at all today. There’s much less bruising than from the biopsy — really, hardly any, comparatively — and the incision looks like it was made by a plastic surgeon. It’s barely visible! You can’t see where the stitches are at all, and the cut itself is just a tiny little line. Amazing.

Anyway, so it’s back to a miniature piece of steak and a giant pile of salad for the typical Meal of the Day. Lucky I happen to like steak and salad. 😀

Of Dancing Dogs, Kitchen Counters, Cheap Expensive Hardware, and Morning Interrupted

Did you know that Dogs Got Rhythm? That you can train a dog to dance with you, pretty easily?

Wynton Marsalis is on the noise-maker just now, and of course that marvelous acoustical jazz has a strong, distinctive beat. When you dance to that beat, all by yourself, your apprentice dancing dog is captivated. She comes over and stares up at you, astonished. If she’s a herding dog, as, for example, a corgi is, she may try to get you to shape up there! by feinting at your feet. She will dance around you with great delight. And if you hold your hands out at her height, she will rare up on her hind legs, place her front paws in your hands, and actually jig with you.

Heh! The simple things in life are the best things. 😉

It’s been a morning interrupted about every ten or fifteen minutes by stuff like that. I have done NOTHING since rolling out of the sack at 6:30, having overslept an hour by dog standards.

Well, almost nothing: I did write a fairly lengthy e-mail to a client and review the copy I wrote yesterday for Fire-Rider Book II.

Damn, I’m good! It’s an unusual chapter, unlike anything I’ve written before: all three scenes consist of the characters’ interior reflections. So far I’ve only got three brief passages of dialogue — but still have the third scene to write. Took some doing to convince myself to try this technique, if “technique” it is: I was afraid it would feel too static. Too Proustian, one might say. But it’s working. The characterization positively smokes, and IM-not-very-HO, it actually moves the thematic issues forward by a great leap.

But every time I sit down to write the final scene, something happens (or I cause something to happen), breaking any nascent train of thought that might be in progress.

The phone rang at 8 a.m. Dougie: he has eight new glass crosses in the kiln for me to convert into rosaries. I’m to drop by his studio this evening, after he gets off his day job.

Pup has conceived a great craving to visit the out of doors. Of course, the out of doors happens to be hotter than the hubs of Hades just now, so these junkets don’t last long. She’s out. She’s in. She’s out. She’s in. She’s out. She’s….argh! Mercifully, the dancing lesson exhausted her, and now she’s crapped out on the cool, cool tile floors.

While trudging back and forth between the back door and my work chair, I noticed the cleaning lady had done a nice job of polishing up the sink. Decided to fill both sinks with water and drain them, by way of helping to keep the plumbing unplugged. This reminded me that the garbage disposal has been backing up into the large adjacent sink. Many gallons of water surging through the two drains, between concocting of pots of coffee, did little to help. Called the plumber; left word.

Ran some ammonia down the offending drain. Filled both sinks with hot water. Drained. Twice. This seemed to help some. Hm.

Noticed the cleaning lady had not cleaned the hard-water spots off the brightwork around the drain in the big sink. Scoured it and the fitting around the garbage disposal with Barkeeper’s Helper. Little avail there.

Soaked a paper towel with vinegar and patted it down around the regular drain’s brightwork. Fifteen minutes later, came back to find that, yes, that worked pretty well. Scrubbed it with some Weimann’s glass stovetop cleaner and a toothbrush. Nice. Extremely nice.

Repeated the process on the brightwork around the garbage disposal. Worked there, too. The plumber will be sooo impressed with “my” housekeeping…

The radically expensive faucet set that I installed back in the day when I had a steady income had developed rings of hard-water deposits around the four parts that protrude from the back of the sink. This elegant set, which I purchased at an upscale interior design and hardware store, cost a freaking ARM AND A LEG! It was billed as brushed stainless steel.

Well.

Make that made-in-China-style fake stainless-steel veneer laid down over base metal and, in the case of the spray attachment, over plastic. Get vinegar on this fine stainless steel, and it eats right through to the base. Not stains it, as acids will if left very long on on real stainless steel: eats it off. So trying to get the crust off the enameled sink around the bases of the faucet set presents a challenge.

Tried Barkeeper’s Helper again: no luck, again. Apparently BKH can be declared impotent against Colorado River water.

Finally decided to try rubbing the vinegar-soaked towel over the crud and wiping off the vinegar as quickly as possible. This worked…eventually. But it took a long, long time. And it didn’t do the fake stainless-steel finish any good.

What junk we Americans have resigned ourselves to furnishing our lives with, now that most of our manufacturing has moved offshore. I need to buy a new set — the plumber advised not replacing it with another high-end set, because, says he, no matter how many dollars you spend on domestic hardware, it’s all trash. He says Home Depot carries faucet sets in similar styles that are the same junk. They’ll have to be replaced no sooner than the expensive junk, and so you lose nothing by buying cheap junk: over the long run, the cost is actually less because the alleged good stuff is engineered to crap out just as fast as the HD special.

Jeez.

And speaking of spending money on the kitchen, one of these days I’m gonna have to replace the kitchen counter, or if possible get it repaired. Tracking down a tile guy or deciding what else could replace the Mexican tile and finding someone to install that is more than I can bear just now. But soon, soon I’ll be forced to it.

Shortly after Mike the Bosnian Godfather installed this particular counter (the guy was a tiling genius, in addition to running an empire of skilled craftsmen), three or four of the tiles developed some hairline cracks. He was reluctant to replace them (knowing, in a way  you and I could not possibly know, what a PITA it is to pull out and replace individual soft-fired Mexican tiles…), because he thought the cracks must have resulted from some settling and suspected more cracks would develop. He suggested waiting some months before proceeding with any repairs.

Then Mike fell off the roof of one of his rentals (yeah, he has a rental empire, too, that includes not only several houses and an apartment building here but also an apartment building and a villa in Bosnia) and busted up his ankle. As you can imagine, the delights of hauling boxes of tile around no longer called to him. So he retired from the tile business.

No more cracks appeared until quite recently. A few weeks ago, the countertop on the righthand side of the sink pulled away from the tiled backsplash, splitting the grout and cracking several of the field tiles.

Damn!

I don’t even know whether these can be repaired, nor do I have any idea where to find a tile guy with the kind of expertise necessary to do the job. You’ve got to be pretty good at this kind of thing to know what you’re doing and to do it right. {sigh}

I suppose I could replace the tile counters with granite. But y’know…secretly, I just don’t like granite countertops. They’re very nice,  I’m sure (assuming you don’t use lemons, limes, or vinegar when you cook…). But…meh!

When granite first became the rage, I recall thinking that it was going, one day, to be just like all that damn avocado green and harvest gold everyone put in their houses when I was a kid. You’d walk into someone’s house and think, “Ohhh! You redecorated this kitchen in 1979, didn’t you!” Ugh.

So, OK, granite counters haven’t gone out of style. Unfortunately. Now what I don’t like about them is that everybody has them. They are, in a word, B-O-O-O-O-R-ING

Besides. If tile can settle and crack, why can’t granite settle and crack? Ditto the briefly popular concrete countertops?

The kitchen in our old house in Encanto had two sinks. One of them — the one I used the most — was set in a countertop make of a large slab of butcher block.

Yes. A wooden kitchen countertop with a sink in the middle of it. I just loved that thing! It was wonderful to use and easy to take care of — all you had to do was rub a little mineral oil into it every few months. It stayed gorgeous, and it was totally, completely DIFFERENT.

The counter where the present huge double sink resides is 10 feet 8 inches long. So…hang onto your hats… What if the sinks were flanked by small platforms of tilework, and the rest of the counter were butcherblock?

Would that look weird?

Uhm. Possibly.

So what if the whole open, unobstructed 10 3/4-foot-long counter were topped with butcherblock and the small backsplash at the far right end retained its pretty tilework, which matches the tile around the stove on the opposite side of the kitchen?

Now that…that could be cool.

$$$$$$$$