Coffee heat rising

Rainy Day of the Skinny Migraineur

w00t! It’s raining! A lovely, slow, deliciously drenching rain. The dog is furious. The plants are vibrating with vegetative joy.

yellow waspToday’s the first performance of the fall choir season. Yay! Life finally restarts. 🙂 I love choir and the weekly rehearsals, because they insert some structure into my daily routine. Without those two signal events, I just kind of float along like a yellow wasp skating on the surface of a slow stream.

This morning I went to find some sort of clothing adequate to the task of showing up in church. Nothing, other than a couple pairs of new Costco jeans, fits anymore! Pairs of slacks that were so tight I had to sew the pockets shut so they wouldn’t gap as I was waddling along last spring are now four inches too big in the waist. Finally found an old pair of black woolen slacks that I haven’t been able to wear in years…and they not only fit, they look amazing! An expensive  belt that barely stretched around my capacious gut is actually a little too long now, but this pair of pants has belt loops, so it worked.

Even though I still need to lose another three or four pounds, because the pants are black they create the illusion that the belly is stone flat like a 20-year-old girl’s! LOL! Imagine that!!

With a black cami, a sheer silk blouse over the top jacket-style, and a flashy hand-made sterling silver cross, I actually looked almost human!

Amazing.

Last night the choir had a kick-off potluck (what could be more classically churchish, eh?). I took a large vegetable salad so as to have something to eat. People brought a lot of really delicious-looking goodies, notably some spectacular smoked barbecued ribs. But when you’re off salt, off sugar, off potatoes, off breads, off pasta, and off all processed food, a potluck doesn’t offer a lot to eat. 😉 That was OK: the salad is what I would’ve had for dinner, anyway, and it was pretty darn good.

As we were sitting at the table, though, I started to get an ocular migraine. Goddamn.

migraineblindAt first I didn’t realize what it was…I’m sitting there wondering if a retina is detaching, or maybe I was having a stroke? For awhile, about a third of my field of vision was gone. But while I was trying to figure out how the hell I was going to get home and whether I should try to get to the ER instead of the house, the tell-tale pinking-shears zig-zag line appeared, and then I knew it was a migraine.

And so, in characteristic style, it subsided after about 20 or 30 minutes, to be replaced by a mild headache and a runny nose. Most people who get ocular migraines don’t get the excruciating headache that normal migraine sufferers enjoy, mercifully. I usually get an unremarkable headache that hangs on for awhile…it was still around this morning, followed, as it faded, by an uncontrollable spate of the yawns.

At any rate, at least it explains the tingling fingers that came visiting while I was in Yarnell on Friday. SDXB thought that was a heart attack symptom. Lovely.

Honest to God! If it’s not one damnfool thing, it’s another!

Live-blogging from…What?

Wow! The biggest storm I’ve seen in 45 years just blew through the neighborhood. Power’s been off for almost two hours. It’s hotter than the hubs of Hades in here, even with all the windows and doors open.

LOL! Idiot neighbors are shooting off fireworks left over from July 4…and why not? This is the first time we’ve had pure darkness in forever, and besides, it’s like a sauna inside the house.

Somebody just tried to call me on a cell phone I couldn’t find. They hung up before I could home in on it…never did find the damn phone. It’s defunct, so I imagine it was the gummint trying to tell me the power’s out.

Appears to be pretty local, though: we can see the baleful orange glow of the city lights off in the distance, and I can hear the roar of traffic, probably from the freeway. The sirens have died down, so presumably the fire department and the cops have a handle on as much as they can get handles on.

Now that the wind is over, it’s still as death out there (except, of course, for the usual racket of Man, the Noisiest Animal). Not a breath of air is moving, so having the doors and sliders open serves no purpose other than to invite the occasional wandering perp to visit.

Cleverly, a few months ago I bought a battery-run camp lantern and enough batteries to run it for awhile.

The battery-run radio, though, seems to be a FAIL. It works, but it’s not bringing in a functional station. Apparently both NPR stations are offline, and what remains is useless blather.

The thing rode in on a huge dust storm along about 6:30, just as I was getting off the phone with a new client. Vast brown cloud descended on the human and the dog, shortly followed by howling winds.

 As in holy sh!t winds. The Queen of the Universe and I took refuge in the hallway, since there was so much nearby lightning that the bathtub, which comes as close to a tornado shelter as this house can offer, seemed ill-advised, given all the metal plumbing sticking out of it. Couldn’t hear that freight-train sound an actual tornado makes, so figured we were OK but didn’t want to be near windows. With all the doors in the hall shut, even if a skylight or window caved in, we would at worst get wet.

Then the rain began. Water piled up to the back door, which is about four inches above grade. Didn’t get in the house, though. The built-up threshold and weatherstripping around the side door kept it out of the garage (except where the door for the car doesn’t hit the ground…), and otherwise the house is built up high enough to withstand a four- or five-inch flood.

{click!}

Finally figured out that the jangling phone bell came not from a zombie cell phone but from the actual hard-wired land line phone! One, count it, (1) of the phones in this house is a real, old-fashioned telephone. All the rest are wireless, but I still have an antique that plugs directly into the phone company’s system. When I dumped QWorst and went over to Cox, I assumed it would depend on the electric being on, since it’s actually wired into cable, not the phone lines. But lo! It lives!!!!!

Called M’hijito, who as usual did not answer the phone. He, being one of the aliens of the New Generation, believes that actually telephoning a human being, person to person, is a rude faux pas, and so he does not respond to such crudity.

But soon learned the jangling was elicited by SDXB, who tried to call an hour or so ago. And…..

 w00t!

 The power just came back on!

Looks like the router’s still down, though. I may have to shut down and reboot to get the laptop online. I’m actually drafting this post in Word on the MacBook laptop.

The iMac, a vast desktop array, is going batsh!t trying to get itself back to its preferred status. I’m running away from that…just let it do its thing and fix it in hindsight.

And so, back to work: have to finish restocking the Queen’s meat supply for the next week, and then to bed!

Thank goodness we won’t have to sleep on the (cool!) tile floor tonight!

😀

 

 

Idle Essay Day

An overcast day, threatening to rain, and our august nannies leaders have issued an “excessive heat warning.” Actually the heat isn’t excessive — it was only 92 when I headed out for a bike ride late this morning, but what the heck. No doubt some poor soul from Ohio or New Jersey thinks a balmy 92 is “excessive.”

Still, warm and on the high side of humid doesn’t leave you much in the mood for sharp cerebration. A stack of drafts having to do with things financial and political sits in WordPress’s queue, and alas, I feel exactly zero desire to think hard enough to expound on any of those topics. And so I declare today an official Idle Essay Day.

Check out this recipe for grilled baby back ribs, spotted in the food section of today’s Times. It’s part of a posy of recipes that accompany an article inveighing against marinating meat before grilling it. Buried deep in altogether too much effete verbiage is a good idea (instead of soaking meat in a marinade before grilling, try giving it a rub with the dry ingredients, grilling it, and then dipping it in the liquid ingredients right before serving), but it’s hard to find it in the blizzard of words the authors need to fill the required column inches.

Welp, despite a relatively cool morning, the daily two-mile exercise walk was out because I had to show up at the Mayo along about 8:00 a.m. to be poked, prodded, and X-rayed. The “itinerary” they mailed (yes: the Mayo’s management thinks of its appointments as somehow akin to medical tourism…) had me not even getting in to the radiology department till 10:20, but mercifully they were moving right along and I was back on the road, headed home, at 9:30. So it was still cool enough (hm) for a bicycle tour of the neighborhood, about 1.75 miles with the gear set to create a little extra work.

Ran into my neighbor Sally, sweltering over the plants in her front yard. You’ll recall that she had put her house on the market shortly before her über-elderly mother’s final illness, and (thankfully, from my point of view) took it off after the old gal died. You have to understand what’s meant by “old gal” here: Sally herself is in her 80s… She’s quiet, unobtrusive, and tidy, so I was extremely relieved when she decided to stay put.

Sally said her nephew, a real estate broker who’d listed the house for her, called the other day to say he’d run the comps in the neighborhood and he also was extremely glad she didn’t sell: the place is now worth $50,000 to $60,000 more than they were asking just last April! And he thinks that when the lightrail construction is finished and the boondoggle train is trucking up and down the main drag that separates us from the slum bordering the freeway, values will go up even further.

That remains to be seen: an hour or so ago the homeowner’s association sent out an e-mail asking neighbors to bitch to the city council over a methadone clinic the SOBs just opened in said slum, right around the corner from our glorious wanna-be luxury district — bringing with it a surge in petty crime and an increase in the number of homeless folks hanging out in the area. Did they bother to tell us before they installed this fine cultural amenity? Well, no.

There was a reason our City Parents gerrymandered our neighborhood into the ultra-downscale Maryvale district, and you can be sure that reason did not bode well for the middle-class residents here.

Now that real estate values are on the mend, several of the neighborhood’s stately mansions are on the market. This 3200-square-foot bagatelle, for example, is nestled on one of the prettiest streets in the central city:

View1

(Click on the images for larger, higher-res views.)

You can have it for a mere $590,000.

The kitchen alone is probably worth that…

View3Kitchen

Imagine cleaning the grease out of the alcove in which the handsome gourmet stovetop resides…

View2Stove

As you might guess by the placement of the artwork, no grease will need to be cleaned from this artifact, because people who can afford to buy and maintain the palace in question can afford to go out to eat. Every day. Morning, noon, and night, if they so choose.

Sometimes it’s hard to grasp how HUGE some of these North Central lots are. Check this out:

View4vastness

That is just the part of the backyard that’s behind the swimming pool fence!

Holy sh!t. You, too, can pay to have someone come in and mow that Sahara of bermudagrass and St. Augustine.

The nicer part of the landscaping, IMHO, looks like this:

View5yard

Ah well. Back at the Funny Farm, it was into the pool to chill out after the bike ride. Despite my former whinging about the pool’s upkeep, now that I’m old and enjoying chronic back pain, I have to say the smartest da^^n thing I ever did was to buy this house because it had a pool!  Getting rid of the devil-pod tree helped, though: upkeep is almost nil without that monster dropping bushels of leaves, pods, and pollen into the drink.

The pool has saved my tuchus twice now, first with the shoulder injury — after a summer of water exercises, I escaped surgery there — and now with the constant pain in the tail. By the time I got out of the drink this afternoon, the back pain, which was helped a little by the bicycling, was down from about a 2 (on the obnoxiousness scale of 1 to 10) to about a .75. So that, like the neighbor’s backyard, was HUGE.

It’s so huge, as a matter of fact, that I’ve been thinking it might be a good idea to install a solar pool heater.

These are expensive: around four grand.

However, one of my friends succumbed to the blandishments of an outfit that leases residential solar power arrays. She and her husband are mightily pleased, because, despite the monthly rental bill from said outfit, they’re earning so much from selling power back to the electric company that their outlay for power has dropped to around $20 a month…in the dead of summer! Among other things, the solar power vendor threw in a pool heater as part of the deal!

In these parts, a pool heater adds about two months to the swimming season. That’s certainly not enough to justify an investment of four grand. However, if I could persuade some such company to embellish my house with a solar power system and tack on a pool heater, too, well…that might be worth it.

In other fields of idleness, perhaps I was unduly annoyed at American Express this morning… I wish they would settle on ONE DATE on which to close their billing cycle.

Normally the AMEX billing cycle ends on the 20th. This date is apposite because it marks the final day of one of the two billing cycles that dictate my budget. Just now I’m about out of food and out of gasoline, and I’d figured that as long as I had to go to the Mayo up on the 101, which would take me halfway to Scottsdale and right past a Costco, I could continue on to the Container Store in Scottsdale to buy some boxes for the craftsy items I’m donating to the church’s silent auction, then turn around and, heading home, get the stuff I need and refill the car’s gas tank at the Costco.

Fortunately, I was given pause by the belief that I’m about $85 in the red on the AMEX budget, so far. On rare occasions, American Express closes that billing cycle on the 21st. If they did so this month, I would be up to my nose in red ink after an expensive Costco run and a $45 refill.

So, before I left for the Mayo, I called American Express. First off, their talking robot informed me that I’m actually $300 in the red, not $85. After 10 minutes of hanging on hold, a sort of human being picked up the phone.

“When does the current billing cycle close?”

“At 11:30 this evening.”

Lovely.

Well, that cut out an entire day’s worth of running around, none of which can be done until next month’s billing cycle kicks in. Tomorrow. And it also posed a new problem: where the Hell am I going to come up with the unaccounted-for $300 I owe the bastards?

That will clean out my savings account again. Every time I get caught up with the short-term emergency/diddle-it-away fund, I have to raid it again!

And of course there’s the question of what charge(s) I failed to enter in Excel… We’ll find out soon enough, I suppose.

Oh well. By the time I got out of the pool, I was starved. Having refrained from scarfing meat for the past several days, it was time for a real meal:

P1020528

Lovely little New Zealand lamb chop…first meat in several days. Gorgeous dainty asparagi. Even the salad greens are still fresh and tasty.

It occurred to me that despite feeling sometimes that the diet is out of balance, what with the weight-loss project going on for several months, I’m ingesting a surprising amount of vegetation. Lookit that: asparagus with juice of half a lime. Lettuce, onion, radishes, blueberries, and an entire carrot with fresh lemon juice and olive oil. That’s after this morning’s meal of lentils and fresh pineapple. This evening: xergis, which is mostly cucumber blended with yogurt. Clearly I’m not starving on this diet. 😀

And so, to work…

Lizard!

What a hot, humid day! By 7:15 this morning it was 90 degrees on the back porch and surely must have been pushing 90% humidity. Perfect weather for our various buggy friends.

geckobaby2But…heh heh! The Funny Farm has a better friend: a cute little baby lizard.

Actually, by now he’s more of an adolescent lizard. He’s been living in the back bathroom and bedroom for several weeks now. At first he was a tiny little guy, so new and delicate his skin was pink where you could see the blood through it. He’s still only an inch or so long, but he is beginning to look more like he’s going to live to see old age.

And we haven’t spotted a mosquito around in…well! Several weeks now.

Because his tiny snowshoe-like feet cling to the wall like suction cups, he can race along a vertical surface so fast he turns into a blur. One of the favored vertical surfaces is one also favored by resident mosquitoes.

More to the point than mosquitoes, though, are the crickets.

A couple of weeks ago, a tribe of the little guys encamped — or maybe hatched — in the family room. That they eat binding glue out of the books and consume fabric off the floor pillows would annoy one enough, even without the cricket love songs. But their night-time mating arias pose a more immediate problem.

One of the desert Romeos started up in there about a week ago. This was OK — closing the bedroom door allowed for a decent night’s sleep.

Then he moved up the hall to one of the nearby rooms. When I shut the door on him that night, he came in through the crack beneath it and made himself to home in the bedroom curtains!

cricket2Well, the particular variety of cricket that lives in these parts has learned to shut up and hide the instant a human heaves into view. That makes it mighty hard to find and smush the little fiddlers. And whereas Cassie the Corgi shares many personality characteristics with cats, chasing down small insects is not one of them. So I went to sleep with a pillow over my head.

Next morning, come the usual wee-hours call to awaking: Silence.

No cricket song.

I figured he must have found a girlfriend and so was otherwise occupied. But that evening when bedtime rolled around, silence still graced the bedroom. Where was Jiminy Cricket?

He didn’t go out the sliding door. He didn’t hop out the bedroom door and back up the hall.

And the gecko? He seems to have put on an ounce or so.

House_gecko_with_spider

It’s always good when you can see your gecko breathing…

😉

Images:

Juvenile Hemidactylus frenatus (a gecko). No photographer named. Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.
House gecko with a spider, Austin, Texas. Ehollins. Public domain.
Field cricket, Acheta domesticus. Luis Fernández García L. Fdez. licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.1 Spain license.

(As usual, click on an image for a higher-resolution view.)

How Much, Really, Should We Be Protected from Ourselves?

The Brits are reporting that CVS has taken it upon itself to make all its customers provide identity every time they buy a bottle of nail polish remover, and in addition to track customers’ nail polish purchases. This would suggest a) the Brits have as much of a meth problem as we do; and b) I’m dead right in saying Big Brother is not the government; it’s the corporate shadow government.

Elsewhere, once again we’re told that because a few morons can’t figure out that jumping on a trampoline is a fair way to maim yourself, all trampolines must be banned or at least regulated.

Honest to gawd! Obviously, it’s brain-dead stupid to bounce around on one of these things given that we’ve known for years that crippling injuries are common. Should they be banned? Maybe. But a business promoting use of the things is probably akin to a shop selling meth at the local strip mall. How hard is it to simply TELL people that? Then let the user take responsibility for the consequences.

You could say that the only person injured is the guy in the wheelchair, but that’s not so — the parents of the “victim” in the report above are now stuck caring for him for the rest of their lives, his health insurance (if he had any) paid the stratospheric hospital and care bills, and over time various taxpayer-supported agencies will have to foot the bill for his care. He’s harmed not only himself but his immediate family, health insurance consumers who have to pay higher premiums as companies’ bills go up, and taxpayers who cover the bills for people on welfare.

This brings me back to my modest proposal on the subject, advanced some time back: people who OD or otherwise harm themselves with drugs should have to foot the bill for their own stupidity. Let’s extend that to any form of terminal stupidity, not  just drug use.

In the regulation-free universe, if you show up at the ER in a state of self-induced distress, your insurance does not have to cover your bills, the hospital is excused from its obligation to treat you for free, and the taxpayer does not pay, either. If you can’t get your mom and dad to mortgage their home for a few million bucks to pay your bills, then you suffer the consequences.

Think of the things you can’t buy at all or can’t buy without letting Big Brother watch over your shoulder, for no other reason than that other people misbehave or harm themselves or their kids out of stupidity:

cough medicine that works
nasal decongestants that work (think Sudafed)
headache pills in bottles you can get open
toilet cleaner in bottles you can get open
just about any cleaning product or yard-care product in bottles you can get open
cars that don’t nag you when you open the door without removing the key

When you consider that few people harm or kill themselves with household products compared to the number of people who are killed and maimed in cars — in 2010, 8.5 times more fatalities than those killed in the World Trade Center — it’s surprising we’re allowed to drive cars at all.