Coffee heat rising

Cookbooks Sell?

Dark Kindle LoResHot diggety, folks! The 30 Pounds/4 Months cookbook seems to be selling. Either that or I created one heckuva cover for the thing.

Clicks on the Bitly link for the cookbook exceed those for any of the Racy Books by about a zillion to one. Apparently readers are more concerned about their waistlines than their fantasy sex lives. 😀

We may be looking at the difference between plugging a book on Facebook and plugging it on Twitter. Obviously, I can’t very well post glowing reviews of Porn Lite novelettes on FB, so all of the active campaigning for the Roberta Stuart bookoids has gone up on Twitter and Google+. Twitter is a bottomless pothole for that kind of stuff, so one competes against well-funded, savvy advertisers there.

The mention I put on Facebook was passed along by a couple of FB friendoids there. That presumably had the effect of a recommendation. And it presumably reached a lot more people than my feeble FB membership does.

Interesting. It speaks to the idea (one that has gone unarticulated in this space) of creating short eBooks from past FaM content. Y’know, Funny has been in business since Two Thousand and Aught-Seven! That is an OLD PF blog.

Funny isn’t even a personal finance blog anymore. These days it’s more like a lifestyle blog…or just a personal journal. How many times can you say “get a job…live below your means…save extra cash…set up a Roth IRA…use your employer’s 401(k)…get out of debt…start a side hustle…check out these bargains…avoid these scams…try these frugal household hints…make your own laundry soap” without turning blue? Hafta say: after a few years of that one gets mightily tired of it. Plus the field is way too crowded now. I wonder how many PF bloggers are out there today? Has anyone checked Sam‘s Yakezie group‘s membership lately? It must be vast by now.

BTW, did you read this post from Sam on the hidden benefits of trolls? The guy’s a freaking genius.

LOL! I’m too easily distracted today. Must brew another pot of coffee and get down to some actual work.

Minutes and minutes left…

…before SDXB and NG show up here to spirit me away from the 87 gerjillion things that need to be done today.

They want to go hiking in the McDowell Mountains, which are on the northeast side of Scottsdale. Halfway to Payson from their house; about a third of the way from mine.

Oh well. It’s a nice break, as long as they stay off the subject of politics. NG is even further to the right than SDXB, which places her at the right hand of Adolf Hitler. If it comes out of the mouth of some Tea-Partier, they think it must be true. It’s hard to stay silent in the face of such nonsense.

I’ve learned to run ’em. If they start talking stupid stuff, I start hiking as fast as I can go (which is faster than I can run…). About ten minutes of trying to keep up with me runs them out of breath, so they can’t speak and walk at the same time.

Mwa ha ha!

Meanwhile, where were we? Yeah: all the things that need to be done.

I managed to get the December Camptown Races newsletter out this morning, despite MailChimp putting up a fight. If you subscribe to FaM, you probably got that in your email, or will whenever MailChimp’s queue sends it off.

The latest Fire-Rider collection, Fire and Ice, is live at Amazon: Books VII through XII. fire book 2aiThis is the part of the saga where Kaybrel and his cousin Jag Bova make heroes of themselves. It’s fairly violent — they engage the enemy in an ambush whose consequences will echo down through the generations, and they manage to escape extermination only by wile and steel nerve.

Do download it! And please, please, PLEASE go over to Amazon and review it! Fire-Rider needs your reader reviews!

In other Plain & Simple Press news, the hard-copy cover for the new version of the cookbook is done. If and when I EVER get some time to myself today, I’ll upload that and the content to the print-on-demand guys.

A-n-n-d…here’s our boy! And so it’s off to spend the day doing essentially nothing. Hope yours is more productive.

Bye!

Sales!

InkslingersSo at yesterday’s Grand Celebration of our group’s 2015 Inkslinger’s anthology, I sold $25 worth of books! The sole print version of the first Fire-Rider collection, the sole print version of the whole Family at the Holidays series, and a copy of Slave Labor.

All of these were purchased by one guy, who seemed a little eccentric. When I remarked that reviews of the books would really be appreciated, he said, “Well, fourteen others are ahead of you.”

Yeah. Thanks, pal. Oh well.

While it’s cheering that someone would buy these things, even a guy who goes around buying self-published books just to make amateur writers feel good, it doesn’t change the fact that I’m not making any money here.

Figure the time for just taking the things to the “market”: The event took place at a country club in Goodyear. It’s an hour’s drive one way; over two hours round trip. Then I sat around there for two hours. Twenty-five dollars divided by four hours comes to $6.25 an hour.

Somewhat under minimum wage.

When we factor in the uncountable number of hours entailed in writing, editing, formatting, and uploading the things to Amazon and the printer’s site, we’re in Negative-Number Neverland. Way, way in the Outback…

I was surprised the guy bought the copy of Fire-Rider, since Snowfall Press screwed up the trimming so badly that it really wasn’t salable.

Snowfall, as it develops, has a policy of not printing erotica. When they saw the contents of Family, they printed off a proof because I’d paid for it but had their guy call me and announce they wouldn’t print any more than that. Okay…you have a right to censor what other people write and publish — probably you’re the same sort of folks who think gay couples shouldn’t be allowed to buy wedding cakes at bakeries serving the public, too. So I was polite to the guy and he sounded relieved that I didn’t tell him what he deserved to be told.

However, in their Righteousness, they screwed up the printing of the other two books I’d sent over to prepare for this event: two copies of Slave Labor and a proof of Fire-Rider. They slopped the Slave Labor cover over so the spine wraps around to the front, and they trimmed the Fire-Rider book so badly that the back cover looks crooked, the 300+ pages are out of true, and the interior pages have about a two-inch gutter! It looks terrible.

So now that thing has to be reformatted for the new PoD vendor. I just checked the specs on the thing, thinking maybe I entered the wrong figures for the margins and gutter. But no: they’re exactly what they’re supposed to be.

That makes it very hard to believe anything other than that Snowfall deliberately screwed up those two books because they didn’t like the third one.

Mighty Christian of them, eh?

Anyway, all this causes one to wonder if the publishing endeavor is worth the effort. Unless we can get someone to buy these things and see some results by about the end of March, I think it will be time to sign back up for some more freshman comp courses. We’re running so far in the red now that the S-corp will be out of money by the end of first-quarter 2016.

Next week I’ll hire a marketing specialist to create and manage a Facebook Ads campaign for Fire-Rider. For the Racy Books, which can’t be advertised on FB, I’m advertising on this entertaining site and also probably will consign  to a distributor that targets romance readers. Both sites go direct to readers who enjoy these specific types of books.

Then I’ll have to reformat Fire-Rider for the new printer, format the second “boxed set,” and get Gary to create a cover for the Family boxed set, which will entail creating an ebook  cover based on the print cover I made for that thing.

Those tasks alone will entail hours and hours and hours of work — more than enough to fill up a week. So we’re looking at more 14-hour days, of which I grow mightily weary.

Hm. My roommate is about out of the shower. We have to run around to get to church this morning — she has to be at the early service, too, so presumably will fly out the door in about 15 minutes. Mercifully, I don’t have to sing until 10 a.m.

And so, to breakfast…

A Thanksgiving Series! Just in Time…

Just in time for your Thanksgiving trip to the family homestead, we finally got all eight installments of The Family at the Holidays posted to Amazon! It’s really a fun little set of sexy romances, perfect for whiling away the time in airports, planes, or the passenger seat of the car.

In Julio, Andrea, and Karyn, one of the brothers discovers the girl next door. And then another girl next door! And finally, back at the ranch, the family patriarch and matriarch enjoy their lifelong love…and a little surprise.

Pack all eight of these sweet Thanksgiving tidbits into your Kindle and make passing the travel time a lot more fun!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Overwork: A little tireder than I thought…

So yesterday the Energizer Bunny’s battery ran out of juice…

How beat was I? Almost nonfunctional. 😀 Went to bed around 8:30 and am moderately revived today. If there was any question that trying to publish 10 bookoids a month was biting off more than I could chew, yesterday’s crash into a block wall pretty much settled it.

Today I took to updating the Camptown Races site, which I happened to notice(!!) was way, way behind. Decided to put only the most recent release in the front page’s sidebar, and have a link there and in the front page body copy to the “Books” page, which will list the entire inventory.

And I finally gave up the struggle to try to force that page to display the book cover images the way I want them to look. Phbphbhphtttt! Now they’re listed in toilet-paper-roll style, with each image centered over a blurb about the book. It’s kind of a pain to view because you have to scroll at infinitum. But it works OK. I guess.

While dorking with this task, I realized…holy shit! I’d failed to post a story that I imagined was online and had been for awhile!

Particularly annoying: the book is one of my better efforts. I really love it — while proofreading the .mobi file was chortling over the thing. And it’s pretty sexy, too. It’s the second Biker Babe book: Bobbi’s Secret Life.

BB 2 9-22-2015 LoRes

In it, Bobbi gets to know BillyBob a great deal better and begins to appreciate the gulf between his blue-collar lifestyle and her academic’s milieu.

Yeah. This story is actually developing a real plot with real characters. In the next story, BillyBob is going to have to rescue her from a psychopathic ex-. Then we’ll find out just how…well, how psychopathic a biker can be, when pushed to it. 😉

Bobbi’s Secret Life isn’t live on Amazon yet…probably will show up there tomorrow or Sunday.

Meanwhile, what is live is this bit of exotica:

Presentation2 AngieBillie LoResThis is the first cover I’ve done with a vector drawing — well, make that the second: the Fire-Rider image is a vector drawing, but it’s custom commissioned. Ange & Billie’s cover is a piece of stock art by an artist billed as Sofia Shimanovskaia. The story is about a lesbian relationship that develops with startling speed and intensity.

Some designers inveigh against using anything but photography in cover art and advertisements. The theory, as far as I can tell, is that the Great Unwashed are too unimaginative and too hopelessly tasteless to be drawn in by anything other than a literal image…i.e., a photo.

Ohhhhkayyy… But Shutterstock is anything but imaginative when it comes to images that could illustrate the theme of two women finding each other. Their selection is limited and overall unoriginal. I was getting mighty tired of looking at it when this strange and fascinating image jumped out of the dreck. That is weirdly cool, thought I.

Love the wild maroon reds with the crazy contrast of her turquoise eye. Too amazing!

So I matched the eye color for the font and used an Edwardian script. This is a font I favor for Roberta’s byline but am not nuts about for coverlines in general. Couldn’t easily push the point size as large as one would like. But once posted on Amazon, it looks OK. None of the other fonts I happen to own rights to use create the same sensual, feminine effect. So I decided to go with it.

Meanwhile, other than that I’ve achieved virtually nothing. That is as in NOTHING nothing. The plan was to devote most of this month to marketing. But in fact most of this month so far has been devoted to loafing. I haven’t done a damn thing in the marketing department, mostly because getting myself up to do battle with Amazon and Goodreads is more than I can manage, and because I still fail to see the point of Twitter, Google+, and similar time-suckers.

What on earth do people seek on those sites? Why?

If I understood better who the audience is and what they hope to gain from Twitter and the like, I guess I could reach out to them more effectively. But right now all I’m seeing is other people pushing ads for their books in everyone’s faces and almost no actual content whatsoever. It’s truly puzzling.

And truth to tell, I’m still too tired to think it through.

 

So How Are We Doing in the Erotica Biz?

Well. Define “doing…” 😀

We made more in this paycheck than we did for the last Amazon payout period. Somebody in the UK likes the Roberta Stuart stories and kindly buys them. Whoever that person is: ♥♥♥♥

We still aren’t making enough to cover the cost of writing and production. BUT…comparing our figures with those of the author I mentioned a while back, the woman who reported that after she got about 80 books up on Amazon, she scored a $4,000 paycheck, maybe we’re not doing so bad. Our revenues are twice what hers were at this point. Probably, though, we have more books up than she did.

If that’s the case, then it supports the hypothesis that current publications and backlist resonate off each other, so that the more stuff you have online, the more, almost exponentially, you earn.

Before long, we’ll see if that really is the case.

Yesterday, which I’d planned to devote 100 percent to marketing, was subsumed by a nasty little flap.

Mrs. Accountability, who’s not only a fellow PF blogger but an occasional client, called to say her virtual assistant had found all of her books and a considerable number of mine posted on a free-download site. Putatively, its operators make their living by charging people for an all-you-can-eat subscription “membership.” She said the site reported that the first Fire-Rider installment, A Gift for the Kubna, had 9000 downloads!

Well, we both almost fainted dead away. Her books, which sell significantly better than mine, had similar figures. On Gift alone, then, I’d lost about $18,000 to theft!

We cruised around trying to find reviews or information about this pirate site but our searches revealed next to nothing. I had to go out. While I was driving around the city, she learned that the site was registered with GoDaddy and is apparently based in or near Hong Kong. She also saw several other PF bloggers’ books displayed on the pirate site, including Crystal’s from Budgeting in the Fun Stuff.

As soon as I got home, I called a class-action lawyer I know in Seattle and explained the details. He said intellectual property isn’t his thing, but he would ask his colleagues who are expert in that kind of law. His concern about suing the bastards was the possibility that the criminals undoubtedly are operating from some foreign country and, he knows the difficulty of enforcing the international copyright treaty.

Then I called GoDaddy, whose CSR instructed on how to complain and to whom.

Shortly before I geared myself up to launch into a full-blown complaint to GoDaddy, I happened to get an email from Tracy Atkins over at the Friedlander Book Designer outfit. When I described what was going on, Tracy responded with news that the site was a scam, all right, but not the kind of scam it appeared to be.

“Sites like that are notorious because they don’t actually have the books,” said Tracy. “They just skim the listing from a book store’s website.  Then they rely on people, and authors, to sign up on the site to see what is there,  only to find out that they are collecting your credit card info.  The odds that your book, any book, is on there is very low.  It’s just a scam all around.”

The scam is not to steal your books but rather to steal your credit-card data.

Wow! That bit of intelligence came across just in time: I was considering “subscribing” so as to get a better look at what they had. Which, obviously, was exactly what the crooks hoped for.

Meanwhile, at almost exactly the same moment Mrs. A. got the same advice from someone she knows. Everyone is pretty certain that the crooks don’t have any book content at all, ours or anyone else’s.

This is borne out by the observation that the site’s “statistics” change every time you reload a page. The number of downloads may go up, or it may go down, hilariously enough.

So that was a relief. But nevertheless, the little drama consumed the whole damn afternoon. I was not pleased.

Thanks to Atkins, the hard-copy version of The Saga Begins — a collection of the first six Fire-Rider books — is posted to the print-on-demand company’s magical-mystery website form, and it looks excellent. The cover that I tricked out in PowerPoint still needs some tweaking: the back cover copy needs to be tightened and made a great deal sharper, and I’d like to move the “Suggested retail price” tag elsewhere. The dimensions may need a little adjustment — hard to tell from this end. I have a call in to their guy, who should be able to advise on that whenever he calls back. But I hope at this rate to have a few copies to take to the shindig I’m attending in December. Every little sale helps!

We continue to post Racy Books for Racy Readers. The latest, Marisol and Banny Driving to San Diego, went live yesterday; another will go up tomorrow.

The graphic design artist just sent “boxed cover” designs for the next two Fire-Rider collections. Those will go up between now and Christmas, probably.

I need to plan some giveaways. Fortunately I didn’t do the one I’d planned — a Kindle Fire — Amazon having of course put them on sale at a gigantic Black Friday markdown.

Hmmm… I wonder if it’s possible to get a gift Kindle Fire and download a bunch of our bookoids into it — say, half-a-dozen — to enhance a proposed giveaway? Hmm hmmm and hmmmmmmm… I wonder. What if we could not only do that but maybe add a book or two by friends, PF blogger types? How great would that publicity be?