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Yesterday Be This Way issued a challenge to confess our financial sins, and I have a big one. It involves huge stupidity, vast hypocrisy, and unfathomable mystery. It goes like this:

All the time I was married-25 years, give or take a few months-I earnestly advised women friends whose marriages were stressed that they must establish their own credit, have credit cards and bank accounts in their own names, understand where their money came from and where it went, know how it was invested and why, and keep property that they had when they came in to the union sole and separate.

Meanwhile, during the entire time I was dispensing these edifying lectures, I had no clue about my own marriage’s finances. Not one single clue.

We did not have a budget, because my husband felt that was for poor people. He took charge of the finances and kept charge of them. Credit card in my own name? Not a chance! I carried a fistful of joint cards in my purse. Bank account of my own? N/A. I had no idea what was in our joint checking account, no idea if we even had a savings account or if we did, what it contained. I knew he had a pension fund through his firm, only because the law required employers that offered pension funds for some employees to provide them for all employees, and I knew he borrowed against it with some frequency. But I did not know how much he was contributing to the fund or how much it had accrued.

Nor did I have any idea that we were up to our hairlines in debt. I charged up a $200 silk shirt (in 1991, that was a lot to spend on one piece of clothing), never realizing that my husband couldn’t pay the credit card bills and was making only minimum payments on the $30,000 we had racked up on the plastic. Operating as though it was his job to earn the money (he made something over 10 grand a month) and mine to spend it, I insisted that we buy a new Toyota Land Cruiser, little knowing we were sinking into a million dollars worth of debt.

When I inherited $40,000 from an aunt, a nagging feeling that one day I might want to fly the coop pushed me to keep the money separate from the community property. When I asked what I should do with such a large chunk of cash, he had me talk with his personal banker, who advised me to put it in one-week CDs!

Think of that. It sat in those things for a good year, rolling over once a week and earning nothing, because I didn’t know any better.

By the time I decided to leave, he had paid the million dollars of debt down to three-quarters of a million. That was when I learned he had two bank accounts and a credit card in his name only, about which I knew nothing. I had no credit in my own name-after the divorce, my favorite department store would do business with me on a cash basis only (which may have been for the best). I hadn’t handled a checking or savings account in 25 years, not since we were married. I imagined I could make a living as a freelance writer (!), and that the modest investments I’d cobbled together from the inheritance and my half of the pension fund would support me in this folly. Accordingly, the spousal support I accepted was a fraction of what my lawyer and my more knowledgeable friends thought was enough

Why? I was not a child-I married at 23 and was 46 when I left. Evidently I knew better, since I was advising my friends to think clearly about money and protect their own interests. Why did I behave like a child?

Beats me. Maybe it had to do with the way I was raised, but I doubt it. My father went to sea most of his life, and my mother handled their affairs, finances included, during his lengthy absences. I was on autopilot throughout most of the marriage, not fully conscious of anything that was going on around me. Once my ex- mentioned a trip we had taken, one that apparently was pretty interesting; I can’t remember a thing about it. I don’t even remember having made the trip at all. Strange.

Whatever. Do as I say, not as I do.

So much for the planned five-day no-purchase binge that was supposed to rescue my bleeding budget, or at least keep the hemorrhaging under control.

I forgot that we have to take an exiting colleague to lunch at an EXPENSIVE restaurant today. And guess who gets to pick up the tab? Shee-ut.

My research assistants are just going to have to pay for their own lunches. I’ll cover my colleague’s (since I have to), but I can’t buy lunch for myself or for anyone else. And there’s absolutely no way to weasel out of this gracefully.

So…we’ll be covering the red ink with savings.

Wouldn’t it be nice if GDU would pay a living wage? If GDU could manage something like pay equity, maybe? This guy, who’s quitting to escape academia, earns 90 grand on a nine-month contract. He teaches two-and-two, all graduate courses, and the class sizes are minuscule. When I guest-lectured in one of his courses, the full complement of FOUR STUDENTS showed up. (As you’ll recall, I spent the spring semester teaching 80 undergraduate students—the equivalent of four sections!—in a drech service writing course that every single classmate justifiably resented being made to take.) I earn two-thirds his salary, for a twelve-month 40-hour-a-week job.

What a place!

The little dog has, as expected, started to show signs of kennel cough. Fortunately, the Humane Society has a deal with a chain of veterinarians whereby they’ll treat kennel cough and ear infections (she appears to have one of those, too) for free for two weeks. So, somehow I’ve got to arrange a trip to an unknown vet around today’s shindig. This does not promise to be an easy week.

The other day La Maya and I drove to an enticing yard sale in a somewhat distant suburb. It was a long drive, but it was worth it, because we landed several good catches.

Best, pour moi, is a Brighton wallet with 19 card slots, a clear ID slot, space for a checkbook, two interior compartments, and a zippered outside pocket. Incredible! The closest style Brighton is advertising today sells for $119. Add Arizona’s 8.3% sales tax for a total of $128.88. I got it for ten bucks.

I also picked up a classic Gerber chrome, diamond-surfaced honing steel, an item that apparently is no longer made. Wüstof makes something similar, $79.95 at Amazon.com, marked down from $140. With local sales tax if purchased from a Phoenix-area retailer: $151.62. My price: $8.

But it didn’t stop there. For another eight bucks I grabbed a brand-new Henckel’s Twin Cuisine Five-Star 10-inch high carbon stainless steel slicing knife: $110 brick-&-mortar retail. Add the 8.3% sales tax, and you’d pay $119.13 for it.

Not bad: $26 for $399.76 worth of merchandise! You could save a fair amount by purchasing from Amazon.com-the Brighton’s not available there, but check out the alleged price difference for the other loot…and the honing steel and knife both qualify for free shipping.

As soon as I got home, I sharpened and honed the knives. The new Henckel’s took a superb edge, and my favorite old standard knives perked right up, too.

BTW, another blogger recently advised using a steel to sharpen your knives and posted a good video showing how to use one. That’s only half the story. A honing steel is for honing: putting the finishing touch on the sharpening process and keeping your knife’s edge polished between sharpenings. To actually put an edge on a knife, you need to use a stone or a knife sharpener.

Using a stone takes some skill. You can learn it, but don’t practice on your best knives until you know what you’re doing. And electric knife sharpeners should should be banned by federal law: nothing will wreck your knives faster than one of those things. They eat into the blade and leave you with a misshapen piece of metal. Over time-and not very much time-an electric knife sharpener will eat away so much of of the blade that your knife is useless.

An effective, easy, and harmless alternative is a manual knife sharpener. They look a bit like an electric sharpener but do not plug into an outlet. And as you can see from Amazon’s little ads, they’re very cheap, especially compared to the $150 price tag on an electric model. You pull the knife through a slot flanked by two stones set at the correct angle. These shape the metal to give you the correctly shaped cutting edge without eating up the knife. Once you have the knife sharp enough that it will slice a sheet of newsprint with no pressure applied, you can run the blade over a steel for a final honing to create that clean, razor-sharp edge.

I have a Chef’s Choice manual knife sharpener. Wüstof makes one for Asian knives, which I’ve not seen in person. They’re cheap and they work: best investment in kitchen gear I ever made.

BTW, if you take your knives to a “professional” for sharpening, ask the person what he uses for the job. If he proudly displays his electric knife sharpener, don’t leave your knives there! Many knife-sharpening shops use the same blade-eating Chef’s Choice electric sharpener you can buy at Amazon.com or Williams-Sonoma. Doesn’t matter who uses it: an electric knife sharpener will destroy your blades.

Pinyo has the 115th Carnival of Personal Finance up at Moolanomy. Funny’s rant on the persistence of SUVs appears among the choices here. Pinyo has a “time with family” theme and has woven some cool sayings into his post. While you’re there, be sure to check out Red Stapler Chronicle’s advice that we stop worrying about gas prices and focus on things that are under our control (I like this: puts some common sense into the question of whether it’s time to buy a new, more fuel-efficient car: you should go out and spend $16,000 to save $480 a year?). The Wisdom Journal offers 26 ways to make extra money. At the You Finish Rich Plan, you’ll find an interesting piece on thin credit files-what that means and why it matters.

The 128th Festival of Frugality is up at No Debt Plan, where proprietor Kevin kindly tagged Funny’s rant on the value of Things as an editor’s pick. This is a fairly vast festival, chockful of articles not to be missed. Here’s one at the Personal Financier on one of my favorite topics, the psychology of spending: The Case of Expensive Wines. Single mom Frugal Fu tells how she’s coping with her 84-mile (!!) commute. And My Dollar Plan delivers a dose of common sense when she draws the line at some frugal tips.

Each of these events offers many, many more entertaining, interesting, and useful posts. Go there!

Here’s a post by Heather Johnson, who regularly writes on the topic of business credit. She invites your questions and writing job opportunities at her personal e-mail address: heatherjohnson2323 at gmail dot com.

Some people think you can’t have fun if you’re trying to budget and save money. I personally feel that couldn’t be further from the truth. While having to save money makes some events more challenging, you can still have plenty of fun doing activities. It all depends on what you’re looking for, but if you make a budget, you can fit many low-priced activities into your weekly schedule.

Go to the Movies. Going to the movie theater occasionally works just fine, even if you’re trying to save some cash. The average trip can cost less then $10 for a matinee, even if you get something to eat. I wouldn’t recommend going every weekend, but the occasional flick can be a good time. If you are still worried about saving money, skip the popcorn and drink or sneak something in from home.

Rent Movies or Watch What You Have. Truth be told, going to the movies can get expensive. Deciding to rent movies or simply watching what you already own can save you big bucks in the long run. For people who are completely addicted to movies, Netflix or a similar rental service might be a great solution. With gas prices the way they are these days, staying home can end up saving you a significant amount of cash.

Decorate Clay Dinnerware, Cups, and Serveware. While some people may feel that they are above decorating clay and going to one of those “artsy” places, I think that it’s a great use of a little money for a fun activity. It depends on what you’re interested in having colored, but usually the cost runs only around $20 or so. If you are low on plates or mugs, you can kill two birds with one stone by having a great activity while making something useful. If budget is still a concern, opt for the smaller clay products to decorate.

Cook Something New. Too many people feel going out to dinner is the only way to truly have a special meal. I personally think that food you’ve prepared yourself tastes much more delicious than many things you order at a restaurant. There’s a satisfaction associated with trying to cook something you’ve never cooked before and succeeding in making a delicious dish. The activity itself can be fun (selecting what to cook, getting the ingredients, etc.), and it also is easy on your bank account. You don’t have to spend a lot of money at a restaurant to have a nice time eating.

Play an MMORPG. Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games (MMORPG) can be quite fun. The best thing about them is that they aren’t very strenuous on your bank account. World of Warcraft, for example, costs $15 a month. While at first glance this may seem outrageous, if you consider the many hours some people play, it’s actually a bargain. A two-hour movie may be around $10, but if you play an MMORPG, chances are you’ll spend more than two hours on it. Of course, you have to remember that these games have to be played in moderation. However, I know many people (husbands, wives, and children) who enjoy games like WoW as a family. If you’re looking for a fun activity that isn’t terribly expensive, then an MMORPG might be the ticket.

Enjoy Lower-League Sporting Events. Chances are that your city has a major sports team or many major sports teams. Chances also are that tickets to games might make Bill Gates blush. Sporting events can really give your wallet a kick in the stomach, but they don’t have to. I know many people who take their families to minor league games and have just as much fun. College sporting events are also a great option (depending on the school of course). Rather than going to an NBA game, give the college scene a try. Rather than going to your MLB team’s game, see what their minor league affiliate has to offer. You can have a really fantastic time watching the home team without having to go into debt.

Go for Walks. Too few people seem take the time to simply slow things down and go on nice walks. Walks are free, healthy, and can be quite enjoyable. Check out that park down the street you’ve always wondered about, or simply go to a street in your neighborhood that you’ve never explored. When it comes to walking, the opportunities are endless. I know many couples and families who find that walks are some of their most enjoyable activities together.

Play a Board Game. What with all the online games to play, fewer people seem to be playing board games these days. Board games are the perfect activity for someone who’s trying to save cash and interact with real human beings. Watch yard sales and shop thrift shops for gently used games. Even if you do have to a buy a new one, chances are it will be a lot less expensive than the price of a visit to an amusement park or to even a movie theater. Board games are fun, cheap, and a great activity that friends and family can enjoy.

So those are some ideas for the kinds of activities that will certainly be fun and won’t hurt your wallet. If you’re trying to save money, you don’t have to sit at home and stare at the wall all day. With a little creativity, you can have just as much fun as someone who can afford to go on exotic vacations constantly (well, maybe not just as much, but almost as much).