Funny about Money

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. ―Edmund Burke

i-don’t-wanna-itis…Is God Tryin’ to Tell You Something?

I don’t wanna. That’s where we’re at here. I just effin’ don’t want to!

The Light has shined down from heaven and illuminated reality: I’m not doing all the things I should be doing BECAUSE…

Yesh, all the things I should be doing:

Get The Complete Writer ensconced at the PoD site, generate page proofs, copyedit page proofs, update the MS, upload corrected copy, and generate a second page proof

Ride herd on the e-book builder; if he doesn’t get his act together soon, hire someone else

Re-enroll in Toastmaster’s and effin’ get serious about it

Build more and better publicity on Facebook, Twaddle, and effin’ Mailchimp (how do i hate Mailchimp? let me count the ways…)

Hustle up some speaking engagements

Fix DropBox on the iMac (disabled by fuckin’ OS 10.11.4)

Get to work, get to work, GET. TO. WORK!

Well, all sorts of reasons not do do these things present themselves:

12 weeks of debilitating respiratory infection

Updating the Macs’ OS fucked up everything on my computers, making it a) difficult or b) impossible to perform tasks I did formerly with easy keyboard commands.

I’m way behind in the marketing program.

I can’t even begin to figure out how to run X, Y, or Z program.

Maybe the GERD is back. Maybe the respiratory “infection” is the GERD.

I’m not getting enough exercise.

I have too much paying editorial work.

I have to do __(fill in the blank)__ first.

The pool needs to be cleaned.

The shrubbery needs to be trimmed.

The groceries need to be shopped for…

Nope. ‘Fraid not. The truth is, I’m not doing all those things for one simple reason: because I don’t want to.

And y’know what? I think that’s my body or my unconscious or God Herself tryin’ to tell me something.

If they were things that would work,
if they were things that were worth doing,
I’d have done them by now

Not just by now, but a long time ago.

You know what I do wanna do? As you suspect, it surely is none of the above.

What I wanna do is draft the next scene in my current wildly unpublishable novel. That’s what I wanna do. I wanna write unpublishable novels.

The God’s Truth is that I do not need to write any more publishable copy. No. No, indeed.

The editing bidness brings in plenty of income. In the past year, it’s generated more than Social Security has plopped into my checking account. And Social Security plus the Required Minimum Drawdown from retirement savings is exactly enough to support me, coming out even at the end of a 12-month period.

So…why do I want to do anything else?

Why, indeed?

Probably because it’s just what I do. It’s what I’ve always done: work myself stupid, often for no very good reason.

And here’s the thing when it comes to personal finance, the putative slant of Funny about Money: FIREers: beware. 

You can achieve Financial Independence. You can Retire Early. But you may find yourself, at some level, still feeling driven to do something constructive. And because America measures “constructive” in dollars, you may define “constructive” as paying work.

What if “constructive” work is not paying work? What if it isn’t socially redeeming work, like charity or teaching or loving one’s neighbors? What if it’s not even work at all?

What I’m suggesting is that at some point in life you should do what moves you, even if what moves you is not socially redeeming, not good for the society, and absolutely absent any chance of profitability. Corollary: If you don’t want to do it, don’t do it.

If you can’t force yourself to do it, don’t do it. Find something else to do.

As of today, I’m stopping.

I need to reconsider what I’m doing with my life and do something else. If “something else” is the same as “nothing,” then it’s time to do…nothing.

Author: funny

This post may be a paid guest contribution.


  1. Good for you! It sounds like you are doing well without all of these things you don’t want to do. Really the only one pressuring you to do more is yourself. It seems like it is time for you to stop adding items to your list and make taking care of yourself a priority.

    • Yeah…well that and the damn Apple operating system. I just figured out why I can’t get the latest book cover to upload to the printer: Apparently the Apple program I was using under the old operating system will not let me size a PDF larger than 8.5 x 11 inches. Thank you VERY much, Apple!

      I nearly had a nervous breakdown trying to do this a couple weeks ago. Now I’ve figured out what the problem is…and it means a 400-page book can’t be published because effing Apple peremptorily pulled the rug out from under its users.

      The ONLY way I can do this now is going to be to pay several hundred dollars to have a professional designer take my design and put it into InDesign. That would be pointless, since this book will never earn several hundred dollars.

  2. Have you tried powere point? We use it as an alternative to adobe illustrator to print large posters.

    • Yes. PowerPoint is what I’m working in.

      Finally figured out that when we upgraded the OS, it erased all the settings in PPt, including the one for the paper size. Thus even though the page layout was sized at 3768 x 2700 px (12.56 x 9 in), PPt was converting it to an 8.5 x 11-inch PDF. and TIFF. and JPEG.

      It looks somewhat better now, but it still isn’t quite right. Monday I have an appointment with the PoD outfit’s guru. That will give some time between now and then to mess with it a little more.

  3. IMHO Apple’s best days are behind it…..For computers and operating systems anyway. My thought is they want to sell phones….and to heck with the rest. Our last two trips to the “Apple Store” for assistance were “less than satisfying”. I swear it was the same feeling I have when I deal with Comcast….Where they seem to be saying…”I hear you”….but they’re not listening….Sad.

    • The in-store service has definitely fallen way, way off. However, there are two ways to deal with that:

      1. Call them on the phone. 1-800-275-2273 Their telephone support is first-rate. So far I’ve found they can resolve software problems, and they’re willing to take the time to explain things in words of one syllable.

      2. Hire a third-party repair service. I think I would not go back to the “Genius” people — because the in-store people are so rude — now that I’ve found an outfit that will repair and upgrade hardware. They were expensive, but nothing LIKE as expensive as having to buy a new machine.

  4. You should take it easy. You had a hard start to “retirement,” but now you’ve got enough income to cover your expenses. If you weren’t set on leaving a legacy, you shouldn’t have to work another day in your life and could just write novels at your leisure. It sounds like you’re one of those people that really *needs* to work, though. (I am not that type, so I find it hard to relate!)

    As for the Apple upgrade, I’ve learned not to automatically accept the upgrades as they’re pushed out and to delay them for a couple weeks. That way I can scan the boards and see if people are having problems.

    I had a dream last night that my Apple laptop — purchased way back in 2011, and a 2010 model — literally fell apart and I was fretting over what to do. Maybe that’s my subconscious telling me it’s time to get a new one? So far, it’s running OK, although two of the little “feet” on the bottom have fallen off and I can’t get them to reattach with superglue. It’s automatically backed up, so I’m not worried about losing data, and it’s only used for personal stuff so I’m not worried that a hardware failure will make it impossible to work. IDK. I’ll just think on it a bit more. I’d rather not shell out for a new laptop right now and I don’t even know which model I’d buy. I will still stick with an Apple product, though. I have a Microsoft OS laptop issued by work and I like the clear delineation between personal machine and work machine.

    • My MacBook was purchased in 2009, and the guy I hired to update the ancient OS (I also resist updates with all my strength) said it should last about two more years. Do know that you can have a new hard drive installed for a fraction of the cost of a new computer.

      That is REALLY nice to get your employer to provide a dedicated laptop…I used to find it ever so slightly crazy-making to have a lot of GDU stuff on my home computers.

      I surely do need to have something to fill my time. Since I can’t afford to travel and I’m not sociable enough to function very well as a volunteer, work or work-like activities are the ticket. I guess I could go back to freelance journalism, but I suspect it would be hard to break back in at this age. At least it’s sort of paid, though…and it IS fun.

  5. It’s about time! I just hope you can stick to your resolutions. ;o)

  6. Sounds like it’s time to bump novel-writing to the top of the list and let some of the other stuff slide. If you’re working for your own satisfaction, do what’s satisfying. And if you want them published, I hear there’s this great indie outfit that can publish them for you… 😛

    I recently broke up with Vocational Rehabilitation for similar reasons. After 2.5 years, I didn’t feel I was any closer to an actual job than I was at the beginning–and in the meantime, I’d put *my* goals and ambition on hold. Every time the phone rang I thought, “I don’t wanna.” and I finally had enough sense to take the next step to, “I’m not gonna.” Worse, somewhere along the way, dealing with them seems to have siphoned away my drive and focus, and I’m having a devil of a time getting it back.

    Maybe someone has been trying to tell both of us something. Your post is definitely one I needed to read today!

    • Glad to hear it spoke to someone! It confirms my suspicion…at some point in life, you need to follow your bliss.

      And struggling for 2 1/2 years to try to get into a job that fits the medical predicament is too damn long to put off the bliss pursuit. If you’re not starving, you might as well be doing what you like. And you ARE a very good writer…the novel of which we know is the only one of that series that sold in any significant number. You should consider writing as a manifestation of bliss…it might end up turning into a vocation of its own.